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Month: June 2016

Schizophrenic breaksdown and Comes Back For Future Successes

Yes, The Schizophrenic Lives On…. or at least that’s the title to my book.  I am an example of what’s possible even when your a schizophrenic.  An Ex-Smoker.  No more pot, and no more cigarettes. And that means no more money spent on destructive things.  I guess I waste money playing the lottery, but I think I’m going to win so I don’t really think it’s a waste.  My wife hates it when I talk about the lottery.  But I’m a dreamer and I dream big and hitting the jackpot is a big dream.  Only happens to a few of us.  The main thing right now is that I’m not smoking cigarettes.  When I quit I basically finished off all the alcohol in the house, except for my wife’s wine, and smoked the rest of my pot.  Now that there’s basically nothing left I’m going to try to go sober.  Nay say I am committed to going sober and transforming my body.

I want a six pack.  Nice abs.  I think I can get it running and doing sit ups.  I start running in 9 days.  That’s two weeks without smoking.  I figured that’s enough time to give my body to adjust before I start to strain it by running and exercising.  I just can’t tolerate a destructive lifestyle anymore, at least not for me.  I’m only a reccommendation.  Don’t smoke or drink and go sober.  Except on holidays or family occasions where it’s good to spread the cheer with some drinks.

But I’m on the up and up.  I’m working on a book and making good progress there.  I’m doing good at my job.  I gave up cigarettes and I’m 5 days smoke free.  I get rewarded for not smoking when my daughter and wife cheer me on.  I told them today 5 days not smoking and they all said go dad, go dad…  So I get some positive reinforcement from them.

This is not to honk my own horn, but I think my writing is good.  It’s full of that something that moves people.  I like it and I hope I have a vast following far and wide one day.  That I’ll be discovered and moved to print.  I could start by writing on this blog more often.  Put some stuff out there for free and see what people think.  But I’ve had my breakdowns where I didn’t want to work anymore.

I have the dream of writing on an island.  Probably in the Carribbean or Hawaii.  That would be nice… I talked to my wife and she said that she could stand it if we spent 6 months a year there.  Sometimes I can still get her to dream with me.

A dream we can talk about right now is my return to success.  I am a schizophrenic, and though a mild one, have had many failures and attempts at success in the field of sales since 2010.  I had some success but nothing that lasted.  I now want long term lasting success, like I’m getting at my job that I have now…. and I want that to be 40 hours working on the phone.  Talking to people.  The job typically pays about 15 dollars an hour.  So I would be making a big jump in pay.  That would be good as I could pay my debts off faster.  It’s hard to make a dent right now and I end up spending more on the card and that isn’t good.  Part of the reason cigarettes had to go.  Spending money for everyday things, on my credit card, when if I didn’t smoke I would have the cash on me to buy those things without the credit card.

At least that’s what I hope for.  Basically, I hope for more money.  That’s not all I hope for but I definately hope for it.  I think sobriety will help me bring more money into my life also.  I was hearing some funky shit when I was smoking.  Outside everything seemed to be all messed up.  The voices hated it, and they didn’t like me smoking.  I heard on several occasions the voices telling me not to smoke.  Sometimes they would tell me to smoke and sometimes they wouldn’t…. It all depended on how I felt too.  If I wanted one they told me to smoke.  If I wasn’t feeling good they told me not to smoke.  I haven’t heard the voices telling me to smoke since I quit though, so that’s a good thing.  I haven’t even been thinking about it as a possibility.

But the question is why get another job when I do fine at the one I’m at and am paying 400 dollars a month towards my credit card bill and I’m writing a shitton.  This book really is going to be awesome.  It’s my story, day by day.  The story of a schizophrenic who wants to be rich like a drowning man wants air and is doing things to make his life better and his wallet fatter.  For himself and his family.  Who have done so much for him.  His desire to give back is great and he wants to empower himself to be able to give in big ways.  Give to his children, his wife, his parents and inlaws, his brothers, to everyone even perfect strangers he meets when he’s out.  That would be a truly blessed life to be able to give so much, be I would just be taking a page out of a Tony Robbins book and applying it to my life.  And forget a page, lets take a whole chapter, or the entire gianantic book, because it is large.  Big man writes a big book.  Makes sense.  My book will be about 300 pages when it’s done.  I hope it pays me.

But even if it doesn’t it would still be worth the journey to go through.  I really believe the ride is what you do it for… Not the destination.  And writing a book is definately a ride.  And so is any endeavor you take on in life, whether it be parenthood, a job, politics, whatever.

But i’m not the person to be writing about politics.  I don’t inform myself and to other people I look like someone who shouldn’t vote.  Because I don’t know anything, or at least I claim to know nothing of politics.

At least that’s what an exmilitary guy told me.  We were hanging around smoking pot and he told me not to vote because in his estimation I wasn’t informed enough.  My psychiatrist has told me to stay away from politics because it can make the schizophrenia worse.  Take what you will from it, but I think Donald Trump will be our next president.  It’s just too perfect for this nation.  Reality Star billionaire turned president.  It’s like Ronald Regan the movie star being president, except way more juiced up… and more fuck yeah america… at least that’s what I think.  I may offend some of you with the whole politics thing, but the country is going to run no matter who’s in there… and you are in control of your life, not anyone in office.

I think 1200 words is a good ending point and my advice to you if your schizophrenic and want to be on the up and up like me is take your medication and ignore the voices if they tell you not to go to work.  It’s better to make money and do something with yourself so you can become someone.  No matter what kind of disability you have.  It hasn’t discouraged me from sales, even though I have my reservations that I’ll ever be successful at a job like that.  That’s just one of my fears because I need to keep steady on paying my credit card off so I  can get that monkey off my back.  This was good I need to do it more often.

Thanks for reading.

I love you,

Jesse Creel

Getting Rich Isn’t Easy

I’ve tried.

I’ve been in sales for years and I tried several different network marketing companies and nothing worked for me.

I’m in it now writing a book and I’m hoping that I can make money with my efforts.  I’m hoping that I can get traffic to this blog and start a list that grows and sell my book to the list when the times comes.

It would really help if I had a publisher to back me so I’m going to work on that once the book is done and edited.

But I love blogging.  I love the whole idea of it.  Getting your thoughts out there to the universe and to the people of the universe. It’s beautiful.

And I hope I win the lottery.  I’ve been working on it for a while now and I really want to win.  The only thing holding me back is the drinking and smoking I do.  I don’t think it’s good for me and my vibration.  And the key to manifesting the lottery jackpot is to have a good vibration.

I think my vibration is good but I also think it could be better.  I get sick often and want it to stop.  I should really stop drinking and smoking but I like to alot.

But the good people of the world, I ask you to prepare to buy a book about a schizophrenic.  It’s not always pretty, but it’s poetic and it’s about winning the lottery.  I hear voices that tell me I’m going to win.  I think I will, it’s just a matter of time.  It makes this blog worth while because I get to write from anywhere in the world.  Lucky me.  I’m happy and I hope this inspires you to win the lottery and write a book too.  If a schizophrenic like me can do it you can do it too.

The key to this is to write everyday.  I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t for the writing.  I would be lost.  I would have nothing to do.  It’s creative and it’s fun and it makes me feel alive.  Like I’m really doing something.

It’s like network marketing without the guilt of taking people’s money.

I hope to make a million dollars writing a book but the experts say that that’s not possible. I don’t think my book provides much value to people so the experts are probably right.  I don’t think I’m worth much, I’m just a schizophrenic.

But then again I think I’m worth a jackpot lottery win, and that would be millions of dollars so I do feel wealthy inside.  This blog is just a way to keep my thoughts, words, actions and feelings alive.  I just got my business cards today.  They read on the front.

I don’t know who I would hand them out to now that I’m not a network marketer.  But I want to be able to hand them out to some people.  I have 500 of them.

But I would suggest you get rich writing a book.  It’s possible.  I have this blog and I can show you how to write.  I have a passion for making money.  I want to get rich.  It doesn’t have to be quick either.  That would be nice if there was an instant windfall like the lottery but I can wait and put in the work until I get rich the slow way.  By writing.  It’s possible.

I’m thinking of calling my book The Schizophrenic Lives on Part 1.  My wife thinks that’s a good title.  I value her opinion but I don’t always agree with it.

I hope my hard work on this blog and writing this book pays off.  I really hope I win the lottery.  I hope I get rich one way or the other.  I tried sales and network marketing and my family has sworn them off, but they like the idea of writing a book.  Then again they like the idea of me working my job and I think I’ve had just about enough of that.

But no, I’ll work, and I have no problem working.  I just need more money.  I’m barely making it as it is.  I give 10 % of my income to God and the other 10% I give to my savings account and I pay 200 dollars on my credit card each check.  That leaves me with 100 dollars every two weeks which is hardly enough.  Especially considering I’ve been smoking.

But my book is about me quitting a destructive lifestyle, about winning the lottery, about making a million dollars writing, it’s about my daily life, and it’s about building value for the reader.

I think I do a nice job getting 2 pages per day done on my book but I want to write this blog on a daily basis too.  Alot has changed since I started this blog and I could write about it.

And really, if I didn’t win the lottery, which I don’t think is going to happen, but if I didn’t win the lottery and all I had was my job and this writing I could still be happy.  I could still be happy with a publisher that wanted to fly me around the world signing books with my family.  I could be happy making money as an author.  I could be happy as a writer.

I could lose my mind as a writer.

I could die penniless and in debt, but if I am the master of my own life, if I can exert any kind of influence over my own destiny, I will have more than enough to make my way through the world a happy man.

And that is what I say to you.  Be happy.  you are making it.  You are alive and blessed.  I love you and so do others.  I know this for a fact.  And you can make money any way you want to.  I just know I can make it writing and I think you can make it any way you want to.  I encourage you to go for the gold and make it happen for yourself.  Just put the time in.  Start  a blog.  At the bare minimum you will grow because of it.  And at the best case scenario you’ll get rich.  And I hope all your dreams come true. I hope you win the lottery so you can write your books on the beaches of the world.  Wouldn’t that be amazing.

Thank You for reading.  God Bless.  I love you,


Jesse Creel

So What’s Happening With This Blog

I’ll tell you it’s changed alot since I started it.  First it was about the book and winning the lottery.  Then It was about Network Marketing.  Then my therapist talked me out of Network Marketing because he thought I would feel bad if I sold to a bunch of people who could never be successful at it.  So now this blog is stagnant.

I’m writing my book, slowly, about a page a day.  It’s coming along but I run into my issues along the way.  Like for instance right now the attachment wont send to my email address and I wanted to print it out to get a page count.

So really this blog is about marketing the book now, as that is what I want to do.  I want to get rich writing.  Most people will probably tell me that’s not possible, but I think it can be done and I intend to do it.

I have nothing else to do but write my thoughts and the voices I hear in my head to tell everyone what it is that’s going on with me.  I think people will find the book a breath of fresh air and an interesting read.

Or I could have a publisher do all the marketing for me and I wouldn’t have to write this blog, I could just focus on the book.  And maybe they would have other writing gigs for me to do and I could start to write full time.  Work from home…. That would be awesome.

I’m not going to let the schizophrenia hold me back.  True, I can’t sell stuff.  I suck at it, and the schizophrenia messes me up with it.  But I can write, and I can work a little job so I do both of those things with success. I have goals and dreams.  I want the book to be done by 2017.

That gives me a little less than 6 months to do it in. And I want to sell copies of this book to the public.  I can do it.  I could do it all on my own.  Who needs a publisher when you have a blog that people visit.  And I could get more traffic.

So what is this blog about?  It’s about schizophrenia, and life, and drinking and sobriety, and smoking and not smoking, and working and writing and trying to get rich one way or the other.

The voices tell me I’m rich because of the polo shirts I wear.  I feel rich.  I have a rich attitude.

I’m broke though.  I’m barely paying off my credit card.  I have very little money to last me over the two weeks it takes to get paid again.  Really I’m poor and I want to change my situation.

And I think writing this book is a good thing for me, whether I make any money off of it or not.

My credit card will be paid off in a few years and I will then be able to afford to give my wife more money for bills.  We may have enough to even move into a new house after my credit card is paid off.  It makes me excited for work tomorrow.

But I know I’ll be fine and that God will take good care of me.

Thank you for reading.  I love you.

Jesse Creel

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