Personal and Professional Development Through Blogging

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Month: December 2016

Writing is Work and I Have Hours And Hours

To do nothing but write.

My wife is taking care of the kids.  I want to provide for her and them.  I can do that I think by writing.

And what I can tell you is to work hard and be lucky and just do what they ask you to do and you will find love.  I am a testament to that.

And find God.

If you ask God to help you he will.  If you ask God to do it all for you he will.

God does everything for me so I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t do it for anybody else.

And I want to win the lottery in the next 5 years.  Or write so much that it pays me 2 million dollars.

Be at some point a multimillionaire.  Live a wealthy life.  That’s what the blog is about.  Creating a wealthy life.  I could, and have written a book about it.  No rather I wrote a  book about working at Honeybaked Ham.  Not working the Christmas because I was a schizophrenic, and then working the Christmas all the way through… It was a triumph.

And something that simple as working one Christmas at Honeybaked changes my life.  I turn into a hard worker.  Someone who can do 55 hours a week.  Someone who can do their part to make sure Honeybaked makes it through the holiday season.

And I got treated well!  What goes around comes around and I think I’m going to hit the lottery!

But I could write a book for a publisher.  No problem.  Just tell me what to write it on.  Tell me what to do, because I can do it, no problem.

And I write.  I write for glory, I write for the voices, the voices say it’s medicine.   I write for my family who I dearly love.  I write for my bosses, I write for you.  Improve your life, that’s what I say, I’m a friendly schizophrenic.

And make it.. I say if you write enough you’ll have enough to give to people that they will publish you.  That’s what I say.  I have it in me and I believe you do too.  And if your going to make money at it why not make a lot.  If that’s the way you can create it then why not live a wealthy life.  Family, kids, money, friends, work, life, challenges, solutions, future.  I love my life and I am eager for more of it.

But I’ve been thinking about direction and I just finished a book I was writing.  Half assed finished it but still finished it.  I want to start another memoirs chronicling quitting cigarettes.  I think that would be a fine topic to write about.  It could be my time without cigarettes, or pot, or wine.

And I would be about my job at Honeybaked, selling ham and turkey, and working in the store, and driving… and I would be about playing the lottery, and I would be about saving money so I can invest in the stock market.  And paying off my debt.  Those are all major themes in my writing.  I can do this, I know I can do this.  I am a rockstar, and so are you.  We can do this together.  We all are brilliant.  We can do this.  I know this for a fact.  It doesn’t matter if we fail.  We are a success.  We will win.  This is a fact.  It’s just the way it works in The United States Of America. I have great visions for the future.

Peace and Harmony and Heaven on Earth.  Those are my dreams.  And making sure everyone has enough to eat.  Because you need to eat to live.  That’s a fact.  Take care of yourself, people love you and want you to be around.

So what value can I bring to you.  How about a faith in humanity.  To boldly do the right thing.  To do good and to give and receive love. And to sell the shit out of whatever your selling so you can take care of your family and the other people that are around you.

So what do you want to sell?  Can you write a book and sell it on your blog?  Can you do that?  Do you want to do that?  I say go for it.  I’m doing it and it’s awesome and I haven’t even made any money yet.  I’m just syked for the process.  And the creative process is indeed amazing.

Even if your just writing the first things that come to your mind.  I say you can do it.  I say I can do it.  I want you.  I want to write for you.  To give you something you want to read.  Something good.  And something exciting that keeps you turning the pages.  I love you and I want to write exceptionally good for you.

So I ask you, what food did you eat today?  Was is it good for you or could it have been better?  How is your diet effecting you?  Could you use more water in your day and less energy drinks?  Believe me I struggle with the same things.  One day during the holiday I drank 4 energy drinks in one day.  I felt terrible.  I made it through the day though, only by God’s grace.  I’m only 32 and as a schizophrenic I already feel like I’m dying.  I think I could recover but I need to stop smoking and that’s hard.

I love you and I want you to know I believe your mostly good.

But the question is how do you and I deliver content that’s worth 2 million dollars?

Provide content that’s worth 100 million dollars.  And how do you do that?  Write well.

I almost wish I could just win the lottery so I wouldn’t have to go thru this writing bullshit.  But I have to because there is nothing else for me to do.  I haven’t won yet and I don’t even have  a ticket for tonight, and I just don’t care.  I want to win the lottery like a drowning man wants air but I’ve got to write and I’ve got to give you value.  Things I’ve learned.

And what I’ve learned is to not use credit cards to live off of, and don’t buy into network marketing companies because you probably won’t resell anything and it will just waste your money.

But there are stories of people making it.  I want to make it writing after all of that.  I think that would be a good dream.  I tried music but didn’t make any money at it.  That was my first dream, music.

But I’m 32 and I’m still creating my life as I go.  The best way to predict the future is to invent it or so a quote said from a book I read.  I don’t remember the author and I don’t remember the book but you can trust that I read it somewhere and have passes it on to you.

But I say bleed on the keys.  Whatever you have to do to write, just write.  I don’t know how you could even sweat on the keys but figuratively you know you could do it.  Bleed on the keys.

But as time passes I get richer, you know why?  I save 10% of my income.  I want to read Money, the book by Tony Robbins so I can learn how to invest.  I want to take my savings and invest it.  Get rich.  Live a wealthy life.  And I say you can do the same thing!

In a nutshell, I want you to succeed.  And what I can tell you is what I’ve learned along the way.  And that is that you should work a job and then play the the lottery.  That way you have an income along with your dream.  You can’t quit your job thinking that you’ll win the lottery because you need an income.  It’s where your everything happens.  I’ve been through a lot of shit with the voices and what I can say is that anything can be overcome with God’s help.  And help you I believe he will.   If you ask and if you do the right things and if you give.

Because He’s blessed me in my life and if you want Him to bless you in your life you’ve got to forgive yourself and sin no more.  That’s the way to redemption.  Love yourself and you will be loved.  Love your neighbor because it’s the right thing to do.  Even if the world hates you for it.  Because life isn’t without suffering and the right thing to do isn’t without pain.  But it’s a good pain.

Life really isn’t good or evil, it’s just grey.  Not bad and not good.  Somewhere in between.  And then you die and have to pay your maker for all the bad things you did.  At least that’s what I think,  but who am I but your poet, your writer, your worker, your family man, your friend.

Your salesman.

And I could be, and I will be, with God’s help I will sell Honeybaked like every American in the country has ham fever and needs Honeybaked in their life.  And I will sell this blog and my book and it will be good times for all family and friends.  And I have that dream for you too.  To improve, to become better, to live a better life.  I love you and I want you to know that.

How can I demonstrate my love for you?

Write, and give you something to read…. that’s what I say, and you can do it to.  Use my material as fuel for your own writing.  Write a book, write a blog, do both, sell everything.  You can be successful.  If I only had someone that could read my blog and tell me how to improve it, how I could make money off of it, that would be awesome.  I would love to have Tony Robbins review my blog.  That would be a dream come true.  Life coach stepping in to help improve things.  Beauty.

Maybe that will happen and maybe it won’t.  The point is to keep writing, because with every word I’m leaving a legacy for the world.  You know who I am, because I write, you know me.  Without ever having to meet me.  You know me.  I tell you everything.  At least all the important stuff. The rest is bullshit.  At least not shareable.  I love you and I share deeply with you because I love you.

How can I show you I love you?  By telling you that you can do it.  I know you can.  If other people can do it, you can do it too.  And don’t stop on your first try either.  Keep at it,it will pay off in more ways than you can count.  I know it has for me and I thank God for more and more everyday.  I give and I receive.  The blessings don’t stop, and I thank God for them and more of them everyday.

Let’s make it our goal to make money writing, no matter what and see what happens.  I have the goal of 2 million dollars in 5 years.  What is your goal?  Write me and tell me.

I would love to hear from you.  I say write on and write I will.  I will write until I’m dead.  I don’t care what happens, and people will have something to read.  It doesn’t matter.  I don’t care if it never gets read at all. I want to write, because it helps me.  I want you to live and do well, I want you to live an outstanding success of a life, I want you to love and be loved.  I want you to do well.  To have everything you want, within God’s rules… but I say it’s within God’s rules to be wealthy, and live a wealthy life.  I say he wants us to enjoy it.  He wants us to be wealthy, so be wealthy we must!  Now is the time, write my friends, write!

This is all for now.  I love you if I haven’t said it enough.  One more time.  It bears repeating.  I love you.  Good luck.


So It’s Another Christmas Wrapped

And work was good.  I worked a lot of hours for a schizophrenic but the voices weren’t bothering me much.  There are people out there that I imagine don’t like the things I write but that doesn’t bother me much either.  I write because it’s work and I love working.

It gives me something to do.  And if your lucky you get paid for it.  The best I’ve ever done was 18.50 an hour.  I got paid for playing a gig or two with my band but I never really made any money with music.

I tried though.  And I put my everything into it.

It just so happened that I got married and started a family.  And that changed me.

And changed me for the better.

I no longer cheat, steal, I try not to lie, and I’ve pretty much put away all of my sins.  I have a recognition of good and evil and want to think, speak, and act in whatsoever ways are good.  I want to give and give fully of myself.  To my family, to my friends, to my coworkers, to my customers, to the world.

And writing is work thank God.  It gives me something to do.  I think you can do it too.  And whatever you write is for your own highest good.  Plus you get to leave something behind.  A legacy.

My therapist would say that that wasn’t a big deal compared to being a father and playing a part in my children’s lives.  And he’s right. But I think I am more than capable of doing both.  Writing and being a father.  In fact, I’m doing it right now.  And this could lead to money, and wouldn’t that be amazing.

So I’m just going to keep cranking it out.  I’m going to keep writing.  Because others make it a profession and I want to do it too.  And I got nothing but time.  I only work 32 hours a week!  They are always letting me off early.

Don’t get me wrong.  They work me.  But that’s only really during the holidays.  The rest of the year is easy.

So I’ll write.  And make something of it.  I could make 2 million dollars between now and 2022 or I could just make a living writing.  Be able to quit my job in fact have to quit so I can do book tours and signings and things like that.  I want to be a best selling author and I only have a high school education.  I want to write for money.  I want to make money.  I want you to make money.  I want to do it with my brains.  I want to do it with my mind.  I want to do it with my heart.

But I still could win the lottery.  That IS a possibility.  I bought a ticket tonight with a box of wine and my powerball number, the last one at the end was 07.  The numbers looked good, the rest of them.  They looked like winners, like they could be winners, although they are probably not.  The winners look like numbers you don’t even expect.

But all I know is that I need to keep busy and I can do that by writing.  And the beauty is you can write about anything.  Just keep your mind free.  Write at will.

But by this time I’ve had several glasses of wine and I’m trying to quit cigarettes… I’m feeling good.  I want to keep writing because I know other people have made it writing and the only way I’m going to find out if I can make it writing is to write.  And I can’t forget to read too.  I have a new book, not one by Tony Robbins like I’ve been reading so much of, but one by another author.  It’s about spiritual growth in a time of anxiety.  It’s written by a therapist. He’s written 9 books so far.   I could probably learn a great deal from him.

I finished my book today.  It took me a year to write.  I took a break towards the end because I lost the enthusiasm because I didn’t think I would be able to publish it.  Too personal.  But I finished it and I want to read it to see what I wrote.  I want to publish it just to publish it. To see if someone would have me. I am a lucky guy.  I think they would.  You just have to put in the work.  You have to write.  And write well.  Write like it’s your profession.  Bleed on the keys.  That’s what I say.  You have to write until you can write no more and then write more.  You have to work 13 hour days, or more and then eat and sleep and take your days off to write.  That’s what I say, be a writer.

Something will come of this writing.  Or maybe it won’t.  All I know is that I love to write and I’m going to do it whether I get paid for it or not.  What i really know is that I really want to get paid for it.  So what do I have to do?  What do we have to do to get paid to write?  If you wanted to write for a living.

I say just write.  Write your life.  Write your experience.  Write what you want.  Write whatsoever is lovely.  I’m a schizophrenic and it’s great!  I can still work and the voices even help me at times.

They make me feel, the voices, like I’m living a different life at time.  Like I’m rich, famous, wealthy, living the life of my dreams.  It’s all in my head, but that’s probably just the lottery playing tricks on me, right?

Or is it real just in the making.  Is it going to happen and I’m going to be wealthy or am I just dreaming.

All I know is that I have to forge this life.  To make it happen for me and my family, friends, and the whole world.  I have to have a positive impact in this lifetime, and writing is for me.  If it’s for you too I say go for it… and write 2,000 words every night.

I’m only at 1000 right now and I don’t know how much longer I have left in me.  I have to work tomorrow and I’ve had a few glasses of wine.  Probably a poor excuse not to write 2000 words, but 1000 is still good and it’s still worth the read.  In fact most people would probably have already lost their attention at 700 words so really I’m going the extra mile here.

I’m working on writing.  I think it’s a worth while goal to get published.  Though I don’t know that I ever will be published.

What I do know is that I have an awesome 2 kids and wife and a very supportive family that is very generous and loving.  I am very fortunate.  Really, working this job, even without making money writing, I’ve got it made.  All I have to do is quit cigarettes and I won’t be spending more than I make and I can pay my credit card off to a zero balance.

But that’s not very sexy.  I want the sexy of making 2 million dollars in five years.  My friend asked me what business I was going to do that in.  I told him I would write.  He really didn’t have anything to say.  I imagine some people would say I could never make that kind of money writing and to them I say, we shall see.  We shall see.

But I’m going to take my ass to bed now.  I had my wine for the night, and I’ve finished my book, plus I’ve written on my blog.  I’m tired and I have work tomorrow.  It should be a good day though.  Everyday is a good day that your alive.  I love life.  Thank God for everyday.  And for all the blessings our lives are filled with.  Thank You, and Thank you, and thank you.

But I’m a schizophrenic and i hear voices as I’m writing this.  And clicking sounds in the house.  The schizophrenia is really a spiritual thing.  It lets me know when things are going good.

But I love you and Thank You for reading.  You are really special to me, each and every one of you.  You are my readers and without you I would be alone and who in their lives wants to be alone.  You want to do it with other people.  You want to be a part of a team.  You maybe even want to lead the team.  Hell Yeah!  Do it!  You are the best and you can do it!  That’s what I say.  Be the best.  Do it.  Make it happen.  Do it for your family.  Do it for yourself.  Do it for God.  Do it for other people.  Just do it.

These I say are only blog posts, but the next book I write will probably be a memoirs of someone who has quit cigarettes.  It will probably be about alot more than just quitting cigarettes but quitting cigarettes will have to be the central them for 2017.  And I can write a book in a year.

2 pages a day for a year.  That’s a book.  You can do it too.  I’m telling you there is limitless potential.  You can do anything.  But I’ll talk more on this subject once I’ve made it and made 2 million dollars.  Is my writing worth 2 million dollars?

If I could give you more value I think it could be worth 2 million dollars.  that’s the key, value.  I want to give you something.  Something I’ve learned that I can pass on.  And what I can tell you is when the voices tell you to call out of work, don’t listen to them, and go in anyways.  You’ll be happy you did.  Your doing something and that’s good.  Keep doing it, you’ve got bills to pay.  You’ve got marriages to pay for, you’ve got colleges to pay for, you’ve got your kids sports you’ve got to pay for, and not to mention Christmas every year.

But I am very lucky and I am sure that God has a plan for me and that I will live a good life.  Lottery or not, writing or not, I will work and change my life so I become a better person as I grow older.

Thank you for reading, I sure do appreciate you.  I wish you the best, that you win money, that you do what you love, that you and your family are healthy, that all good things come to you… but what does that matter… you tell me.  Give me some feed back, write a comment.  Get involved.

But it really doesn’t matter.  I’m going to keep on writing, like I’m getting paid to do it, and hope that I do get paid to do it at some point.  And some point in the near future.  Because I need a lot of money pronto.

So I keep writing.  Because writing is work, and work pays you money, and if I work at this long enough I could get paid.  Content is king and I have plenty of that.  I don’t know that anyone will want to read what I’ve written but it’s worth a shot and if I fail so what…. it doesn’t matter anyways.  I’m still getting a steady paycheck at my job.  How could the writing not work!  I do it in my free time!

But good nite.  I love you.  Sweet dreams and may all good things come to you.

Love, Jesse Creel.

What I Learned By Not Winning The Lottery Last Night

The jackpot was at 100 million again.  That’s one of my numbers.  I play the most when it’s at 100 million.  And for the really big jackpots.  I have a bill made out for 100,000,000.00 dollars.  My mom gave me a bill for one million and I added two zeros on the end with a black marker.  Because that was how much I wanted.  I still play the lottery even when it’s not at 100 million so it must not mean that much.  I would be happy with any size jackpot.

To be one of the few who win big.  There have only been about 9 jackpot winners this year for the Powerball.  That’s less than one a month.  But if you think about it almost one a month is a lot.  That’s a lot of people winning millions of dollars.  The question I asked myself this morning, after I had checked to see if I won… was how can I create the energy that manifests a jackpot win?

I feel as though it’s coming to me right now.  I felt that way for the jackpot last night.  I still feel that way this morning after I didn’t win.  I feel like it’s coming to me.  It being a jackpot win.

I have thought about honing my powers and becoming the first person in history to win multiple jackpots.  Like 3.  Some would say that it’s not possible.  But I say anything is possible.  Give or take I probably have 68 years left.  That would be plenty of time to win three jackpots.  We could live in a 7 million dollar house.  The one I saw that is the most expensive house in our area.  A nice area.  And the house has a pool!

But really all we need is about a 500,000 dollar house.  That would suit us nicely.  Not too expensive but expensive enough to give us the room we need for our family.  And big enough to throw a party for our friends.

That’s probably what I would do with the first jackpot.  Buy a 500,000 dollar home for my family.

But really I didn’t win the 100 million dollar jackpot and my focus should get back to work.  I have to improve this holiday season… Christmas is right around the corner only 10 days away and I’m going to be working a lot of hours.  I love the paycheck.  But I do it for more than just a paycheck.  I do it to work the cigarettes off… to keep my sanity… to love what I do… to interact with different people…. to be a part of the team…. and bearing repeating to get PAID!

And I would never tell the people I work with this but my job is really… easy.  It’s easy working those long days when your on the road for most of it.  Just drive and deliver.  Get back, load up… drive and deliver.  It’s simple.  It’s an easy job.  There are some hard jobs there and I have a lot of respect for the people that do them.  And like lifting heavy boxes for hours, they probably think it’s not that bad.  Good exercise.  A man’s job.  Men mostly do this job.  It’s like glazing the hams.  You have to hold a torch in one hand and a can of sugar in the other.  You coat the ham with sugar and then take the flame over the sugar.  I tried to do that stuff but I couldn’t get the hang of it so they made me a delivery driver instead.

That and I do prep work for the store.  Make salads, ham salad, turkey salad, chicken salad, tuna salad.  Slice the ham and portion it out for sandwiches, I do that too.  Clean the store, I do that.  I do a lot around the store to keep it running smoothly and improving.  I have asked myself the question how can I improve my value to the company by 15%.  The answer I came up with was to sell it.  I would make money and be providing more value to the company by being a healthy salesperson.

I didn’t make any sales for the Thanksgiving holiday and it looks like I’m not going to get back out there before Christmas so so far I haven’t been productive.  But I have a burning desire to become productive.  It’s like the lottery, and winning the jackpot.  It’s work and something I love to do.  And I have that burning desire for outstanding success.

But I have the day off so I do laundry…. my wife asked me to put my sons Christmas present together, a bike, so I’m going to do that.  I should get to the gym today.  I should make a commitment to get to the gym today.  I pay for the membership…  I want to use it.  To get healthier.  And I really have to stop smoking.  I just can’t afford it.  It’s killing my health, it’s killing my bank account, the smoking lifestyle is bad for kids.  And I have two of them.  I’ve got to learn discipline and take control of my life.  I’m out of control being 14,100 dollars in debt.  I have to pay my card off.  I must have a zero balance.  And the only way that’s going to happen is if I stop spending my money on garbage.

But smoking does relax me.  It has consquences though.  And I’ve been thinking about those consequences and the voices have been talking about bad things that could happen for I don’t know how long.  I want to embrace Tony Robbins’ acyronim CANI!… constant and never ending improvement.  And I could turn my life around if I could change my lifestyle.  I could get out of debt and give more money to my family.  That’s probably the biggest challenge I’m facing right now.  Quitting smoking.

So all this is what I’m thinking about on the day I didn’t win the 100 million.  Again.  I still believe I’m a jackpot winner.  And I still think it’s on it’s way to me.  But winning can wait for another time.  I have work to focus on, and improving along this holiday.  What I know is that family is the most important thing.  My dad taught me that after several of my own mistakes.

For now I bid you good day.  Have a great day.  May it be filled to the brim with countless blessings for you, yours, and the entire world.  Thanks for reading.  Take care.

The Blog, My Connection To The World

And I can write whatever I want on this blog.

Mostly I want to tell you that I’m a working schizophrenic and I’m still grateful for everyday.  Grateful to God.

But I’m helping to support a family.  A wife and two kids.  I’m buying what I can at the grocery store.  And giving my wife money.  I gave her quite a bit for christmas time.

But then again, quiet a bit is not much for me.  I don’t get paid alot of money.  I’m a peon compared to my father and my father in law.  We live in a small townhouse not even big enough to have our friends over for a party.

We go to their parties though and we have a good time.  I’m very grateful to people who host parties because after all it is a alot of work.  Making all the food and everything.

But I’m writing to live a little more.  Leave something behind.  I guess I’m really just doing this for fun.  I’ll probably never be paid for it.  Although I do entertain the question of how I could make 500 million off a blog.  That would be Tony Robbins status.  That’s about how much he’s worth.  He is so awesome.

Highly recommend his stuff.  I just ordered a new book by Robbins titled Money, and the 7 steps to mastering it.  I know I would master money if I could stop smoking cigarettes and drinking wine.  That is indeed hard to do though.  I think it would be a lot better for me though.  I don’t really drink during the work week.  But when I have time off I tend to go to parties and drink some.  My wife usually drives.  I like to drink because it gives me something to do.  I think I could do better sober though.  I should really give it a try.  I just finished a box of wine last night… I have the day off today.  The box lasted a few days so that was good.  I didn’t drink it that fast.  But I don’t really want any more.  I want to go sober for a while and just get through this holiday at work.  Christmas time is coming fast and I have to get the hours while their good.  That means 14 hour days sometimes.  It’s not bad though.  They keep you moving but it’s good and I love it.  It’s the best thing that’s happened to me since I lost my job in 2010.  And half of the battle is just suiting up and showing up.  Speaking of which I have to wash my work uniform.  I got spagehetti sauce on it last night.  We had tortellini and they were good.

Tonight we’re having shrimp scampy, it’s one of those frozen bags with a meal inside it.  I got two.. They were only 5 dollars each.

But in my estimation I have about 90 dollars left to last me the next week and a half.  I probably have to put 40 in my gas tank so that would leave me with 50 dollars to buy food with to eat over the next week and a half.  That pretty much leaves me with what I have left of a pack of cigarettes. Because I just don’t have the money to smoke.

I’m sure I can help myself by instead of smoking working out and reading Tony Robbins books.  I really want to improve myself.

But I have what’s left of my day to wash my work clothes and go to the gym and make dinner and do more laundry and give to the house and my family by cleaning up around the house.  I want to do more of that and give my wife more money.  The jackpot is at 100 million.  I bought my ticket today.  Two tickets.  One of the tickets with the numbers I picked was entered in wrong by the cashier and I got a 9 instead of a 10… which was my son’s birthday number…  if I won that one that would really be something.  I also bought a quick pick.  I guy at the register wished me good luck as I collected my ticket and my cigarettes.

Once when I was at the leading seller of winners in the Baltimore area… I heard the voice of the cashier in my head and she told me to buy cigarettes.  I hear the voices tell me to smoke all the time, especially when I’m trying to quit.  But I will quit.  I have faith in myself.  It’s the right thing to do for my family.  And for everybody else.  And for my health.  Which really is what you need to do all this anyways.

But I’ll stay on my medication and go in to work everyday and make my money and do my work.  Just like Tony Robbins I wish that you make your life your masterpiece.  And I’m a success as a schizophrenic because I’m working there during the busiest time of the year.  The rest of the year is easy and not a whole lot goes on but during the holidays it gets crazy.  Busy.  And I like it because it’s easy for me to stay busy.  I can do it all day.  For 14 hours.  And it’s really not that hard of work.  I have to lift heavy boxes from time to time and sometimes it’s a massive amount of boxes.  And those days are good exercise.

Sometimes I get out of it though and other people are doing it and I’m out doing deliveries.

But  I really do want to wrap this up, although I could keep going.  I don’t know what will ever happen to these writings. I guess they’ll be up here as long as I’m alive.  Maybe I’ll be discovered and get a book deal.  And then all the signings at the stores for my book.  Promoting it.  Be like Tony Robbins.

But the jackpot is at 100 million and that’s one of my numbers.  I’ve played and missed it several times before but it’s here again and I have my tickets.  I hope I win but Tony Robbins also says that you can’t do it on hope alone. Something like that.  I think I may be going about this the wrong way.  All I know is I have to suit up and show up and do well at my job and give my family money.  Bring home the bacon.

And I could really bring it home on Thursday, which coincidentally is my day off… my second and last for this week.  And I’ll have the day off to settle in with the winnings and plan my next steps.  That’s what I would do if I won on Wednesday night.  I’d find out Thursday morning and I’d text my wife.  I write in all caps WE WON 100 MILLION DOLLARS and send it off to her.  That would be some shit. We already live in a 500,000 dollar house in my mind.  I want to start thinking of living in a 7 million dollar house.  You’d have to win one of those really big… billion dollar jackpots. In my mind we could live in that 7 million dollar house.

But I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.  It’s supposed to be a secret.  So I guess I’m pretty into you.  I like you.  I you to focus on what you want rather what you don’t want.  And do a good job.  Do well.  Spend less than you make.  save 10 percent of your income.  Give 10 percent away. Hard to do.  I keep spending the 10 percent I’m saving when I go through the rest of my money.  It’s all the cigarettes that’s really killing me. 9 dollars a pack everyday.  That’s alot of money for two weeks.  I don’t always smoke the whole pack in a day but sometimes I do.

Have a good day, or night and many blessings to you and your this holiday season and for the whole year.

Thank you for reading.

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