JesseCreel.com

To Inspire You To Take Action And Improve!

Month: January 2017

Recovery From Schizophrenia, And Working A Part Time Job

The voices didn’t bother me much today.  Lately that’s been the case.  On the way to work today I heard one of them say “Cancer”, but that’s about it.  The rest of the voices are just unintelligible noise that I can’t understand.  I just move on with my business when I hear such voices.

But I had to work today at 10am.  I got up at 8:30.  I went to bed at 10pm the night before so I got 10 and a half hours of sleep.  I still felt tired when I got up, but the coffee quickly cured me of that feeling.  I went in and started on cutting the tomatoes while I waited until the time it was for me to leave for my delivery.

So I cut tomatoes for about a half hour, with a tomato cutter that seemed like it needed to be replaced.  Then I left for my delivery.  It was an especially large delivery, of about 120 box lunches.  To be delivered to BGE in Waldorf.  I went there, it was 15 miles from the store.  I delivered the lunches, got in my car and headed back.

When I got back it was time for me to make the portions we use for sandwiches.  You cut the turkey in half, put it on a tray on the scale and repeat until the tray is filled up.  You can do 2 buckets at a time this way.  My job was to do 5 buckets.  It takes 2 turkeys to fill a bucket.  So I used 10 turkeys.

I got 4 of the buckets done, by putting .20 of a pound into each bag.  Then put the bags in the bucket.  Repeat until done.  That’s it!  I did 4 buckets and then they needed me to go to the bank.  For some reason, they say it’s because I act like I really care about the place (and I do), they trust me with the deposits.  I went to the bank and by the time I got back it was about 1pm.  I had to finish the last bucket, collect my mileage money, and then it was time for me to leave!

I got 28 dollars and change from doing the delivery, plus the mileage it took me to get to the store as it was not my home store and they pay for your gas when you have to drive to the other stores to work.  28 bucks, plus my hourly rate of 10 dollars an hour.  So I made 58 dollars today.  Not bad considering I’m a schizophrenic!

But that’s about how my day went today.  I’m getting in the habit of writing with my free time so here I am, writing.  My plan is to create another stream of income from my writing, so I’m going to work it hard until I get to where I want to be.  I don’t have much traffic, maybe 50 hits a month… but it’s a start and getting a comment the other day on my article “Schizophrenia, Healing, and Empowerment” was a real shot in the arm.  I celebrated the comment in private and with my wife.  I was very excited and look forward to more.  I know people are coming to my website and reading my work, and one of those people felt moved enough to leave a comment!  Success!  Now I’m just working on getting Adsense up on my site so I can make money from clicks.  Get that additional stream of income going.  Monetize from the start… that’s what I read online in an article about how to start a business and make a million dollars from it in your first year.  That was the thing that stuck out to me, that I had to do… monetize from the start!

But that this point in my life the schizophrenia isn’t really bothering me.  The other night I woke up in the middle of the night and heard my brother in laws voice say “Get better Jess.”  I thought that was nice, even though it was only a voice in my head.  I hear my wife’s side of the family in my head a lot… especially my father in law.  I also hear the neighbors voices when I’m out smoking and their going about their business at their own homes.

A lot of them will just say the word “high”.  I don’t know what that means but my guess is that because I’m around they feel like their living in a elevated consciousness.    I don’t know for sure though, like a lot of what the voices say, speaking like dreams do, in ways you could never come up with one your own…. I think when they say the word “high” i just go about my business and like it because it’s better then hearing my own voices say “cancer”.

Because that’s what they say to  me… they say I’m going to die, that I’m already dead, and that nothing will save me.  It makes me grateful to God everyday that I’m alive and I thank Him for another day.

It also helps to be on medication and seeing a therapist once a month.  I would see him more but I’m doing well and we both agree there’s no need to overdo the therapy.  The last time I saw him was just this weekend, and aside from my daughter being hard to talk to and how to deal with that, I had nothing but good things to report!  I had so many good things to report that on the way home I started thinking of things that were going good in my life that I wanted to share but forgot to because we had so much else to talk about.  I didn’t have time with a single session to go over all the good things that had happened over the last two months!

I got through the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays at work well… I have been working on quitting cigarettes and making some progress.  My sales territory has expanded again and my bosses are talking about giving me another hourly raise! My blog is taking off, writing all the time and getting a comment.  My therapist even had some information to share with me about improving my blog.  He said he was very excited for me.  Things really are going great, and I’m looking forward to even more success, and even better times.  It’s about time I get my life together, and part of that, a big part of that, is work.

Thank God I have a good job that is allowing me to grow.  I’m increasing my income hourly, as well as having the opportunity to increase it with commission.  They call it bonuses, I call it commission.  Because that’s what it really is.  I don’t get bonuses if I don’t do any selling, and that is commission.  And I’m happy to have this opportunity.  Tony Robbins said in his book “Money”  that when you add value your going to have the opportunity to have economic abundance.  I guess that means I’m really adding value to Honeybaked Ham, and because of that there giving me more opportunity to make more money!

What more could you ask for?

What about a blog that produces an income!

But I’m getting ahead of myself, I really just want to write about how the schizophrenia has subsided, and I’m working a job successfully.  I plan on having more success as a Sales Coordinator there.  That’s going to look great on my resume.  I’m stoked!  And because I’m only doing it part time I have plenty of time to read and write!  I can still work on my dreams!

Really I would like to work 40 hours every week, and I have been looking for a new job on Craigslist… but with this sales opportunity at Honeybaked, I really do have plenty to chew on.  I’ve got to sell!  I’ve got to take the Sales Coordinator position and make an outstanding success out of it!  I’ve got to do it!  I must do it!  This is a great job!

And I would definitely recommend working at Honeybaked, if that fits your station in life.  It’s a great job even though it doesn’t have a 401k.  They take their people and let them grow.  If they do a good job, they are rewarded.  I got 20 dollars out of the blue one day just for doing my job!  The president of the company came in, as she sometimes does, and tried the turkey salad.  It just so happened that I made that particular batch of turkey salad, and she liked it so much she wanted to give me a bonus!  I think the reason my turkey salad tasted so good to her was because I made it with love.  When I’m mixing all the ingredients together I do it by hand, and as I’m moving the ingredients together I’m thinking about doing it with love.  And I think it tastes better!

I used to work at Paul Reed Smith Guitars on Kent Island, in Stevensville, MD.  I worked there for 5 years.  On a regular basis the owner, Paul Reed Smith would buy us lunch and sit us down to talk to us about the business, about guitars, about rockstars, and about our work in general.  On one of these occasions he told us he did an experiment one time.  He built a guitar.  But he just built it, there was nothing special in the way he went about it.  And to prove what he thought was true, he built another guitar, this time he put love into it.  He claims the one he put love into sounded better.  So really, you can figure what goes into making a good business a good business.  I know that putting love into the salads I make at work make them taste better.

I told one customer that we put love into our work and she didn’t find that particularly interesting, she kept her eyes on herself and proceeded to walk out.  I guess it’s better that if your going to put love into what you do, don’t tell people your doing that.  It makes them feel weird.  At least that’s the way it seemed with that woman.

It makes me realize I should be putting a tremendous amount of love into my writing.  I think it would come out better.  But I haven’t been thinking about it, I’ve just been writing.  I guess I need to think about that more, and starting now and from here on out, put a massive amount of love into my writing.  I know how to put love into the things I do.  I can feel that I’m doing it.  It feels better.  It feels more valuable.  I love it!  So I had better start writing with love, especially if I want to add a massive amount of value to a massive amount of people, like Tony Robbins says is the key to creating wealth.  I’m going to make it happen, God help me.

So what you can learn from this post, what’s valuable here, is my example.  That with therapy and medication, over time you can rebuild your life.  And you can make it into something you love!  Something that’s really really good!  You can work a job, get paid, be valued, get promoted, and continue on the path of improving wherever you go.  Whether it be in the store, out on deliveries, or out on sales calls.  You can make it happen!  I read just last night a story of success about a schizophrenic who works at Sears as a salesperson and has consistently produced the top 1 or 2 results in the store!  Not bad for a schizophrenic!

And if your struggling with symptoms and things aren’t going well for you I remember a piece of advise my therapist told me about a year ago.  He said if the voices tell you to call out, or your losing motivation and feel you can’t do what your family is asking of you… he said “JUST DO IT”.  He said it in kind of an angry, forceful way to me, and he definitely got the point across.  You just have to summon the energy to do things as if you have your back against the wall and there’s no option other than success.  You can’t die, and you can’t fail, so your going to have to succeed.  That’s what it takes to do your stuff!

Now, this post has been concluded.  I certaintly hope you got value from it, whether your a schizophrenic or not. And as I always recommend, to schizophrenics, or to anyone else, go out there and take massive action toward your goals!  Go read!  Go write!  Go work!  Go sell!  Go take care of your family!  And make sure you take care of yourself!

Thanks for reading.  I love you, be sure to leave a comment.  See you on the other side!

What I Learned From Joining The Empower Network, And Failing

“You get what you deserve.” -David Wood, Founder of Empower Network

Yes, I went all in with the Empower Network.  All in all it cost me about 5,000 dollars.  Money I borrowed from my father.  He believed in me, and thought that I would be a success, so he figured it was a good investment.  I still haven’t paid him back, yet.

So really, Empower Network was a massive failure for me, but as Dave Wood said, and as many others have in quotes and in songs, we all get what we deserve.  And I guess at the time I wasn’t deserving of success.  I tried like hell, but all I got was one big fat bill.

Do I recommend Empower Network?  The short answer is no.  The long answer is it’s worth it, and if your going to spend money on yourself, for a business… then go ahead and join.  You can’t join with me because I’m no longer with the company, but there are many others out there that would be happy for you to join with them.  I will not, and cannot join another network marketing company.  I need to pay my debts off by working my job and quitting cigarettes.  The latter being the greatest challenge.  But I would definitely say that I learned a lot about success from some very rich people using the Empower Network products.  David Wood is an inspiration.

One of the reasons I can’t be in the Empower Network anymore, even though I’m all in and all it would cost me to get back in is 125 dollars a month, is that on the way to one of the events for Empower Network, the voices started to really bother me.  Because I’m a schizophrenic I hear voices and they were definately not helpful on that trip.  I heard my father in laws voice tell me that I had to divorce my wife to be successful.  I started to believe that.  I didn’t make it to the event, and on the way home I started contacting my wife and telling her that we needed a divorce.  When I was on Facebook, looking for sales, the voices would talk to my would be sales and they would tell them not to join with me.  I would fight the voices and work my tail off to get the sales but it never happened.  Now, I don’t know if it was the voices that were taking away sales from me, or it was just that I hadn’t earned the sales with my work… all I know is that I came home, went to my parents and tried to make a divorce happen.

When I was in Tortola, in the Carribbean, for my wife and I’s honeymoon I had all kinds of crazy visions like her foot and my foot joining into one foot and my foot had nail polish on it in my vision.  One of the things I heard in my hallucinations there was my father in law telling me that our marriage “will end in divorce”.  Despite all my efforts to make that a reality, my wife held on and my family insisted that we stay together.  Right now, as it stands, that was a very good thing.  I wasn’t able to make the stupid decision of turning my back on the work of marriage and ending it all.  I am now happy that things worked out the way they did, but my wife has, because of that event, swore off the Empower Network.  She thinks it’s bad because of the things I did when I was a part of it. One thing I’ve learned since then was that you shouldn’t tolerate risk.  Only risk money when you know if it doesn’t work out you can get it back.  That’s how Richard Branson of Virgin got his airline started.  He bought 5 planes on the condition that he could return them if his new venture didn’t work out.  I read that in Tony Robbins newest book “Money”.

But the 5,000 dollars I spent to go “All In” I will never get back.  There’s no refunds.  So I’m out, but really I’m better off for it.  I learned my lesson, and I will never again take those kinds of risks in order to make money.  Aside from that lesson learned, I also learned a great deal about blogging, SEO, and paid advertising.  I learned from the people who were making the most money with Empower Network, so I learned from the best examples.  Those were the people leading the company and those were the people putting together the video information products.

And some of the things that I can remember that I learned, off the top of my head, were things like, “Leaders are readers”….  “You have to want success like a drowning man wants air”…. and “We all get what we deserve”.

I also learned that one of the best ways to generate traffic to a website is to blog everyday.  That’s how David Wood got all of his traffic and started Empower Network and that’s what I’m in the process of doing right now with this blog.  It takes hard work to blog everyday, and I still don’t get it done everyday, my blog post count is representative of that.  But I’m trying now, and I’m doing it.  I’m doing more than just trying.  And once you get the traffic you can do whatever you want with it.  You can join a network marketing company and sell your visitors the service.  You can add Adsense to your website and generate revenue that way.  You can come out with an Ebook and sell that on your website.  You can create your own product and sell it on your website.  Whatever you want to do, you can do it, if you have enough traffic.

I don’t think that network marketing is the way for me to go right now, personally, just because there is so much risk involved especially if your first starting out, without any traffic.  I think it’s going to be better for me to just let Google run ads on my site, and work on developing and writing a quality Ebook.  I’ve already written one book and I’m working on another, but those are separate from the value I want to create with this blog and with an Ebook. I think I can do this, I know I can do this… and I think it’s great that your expanding your knowledge to know what can happen if you join with a network marketing company like Empower Network.

You will learn, and you will most likely fail.  Most people fail.  I heard one of the mentors at Empower Network say himself “The MLM graveyard is vast and wide”.

A lot of people have tried and many of them have failed.  You don’t have to be schizophrenic to fail at network marketing.  You success depends on a lot of things, like leaderships ability, work ethic, intelligence, and timing… just to name a few.  I do however think that it was a valuable experience and it’s one that I will never forget.

But instead of making a success of myself in 90 days like they teach you to do at the Empower Network, I’m allowing myself a little more time to be successful with this blog.  Don’t get me wrong, I could make success happen a little more rapidly by taking greater action, by taking consistent massive action… but I’m still taking action on a regular basis and that’s a good thing.  I can build this thing from the ground up, create my own products, and build value in for a massive number of people.

The truth is I’m just so excited.  I’m happy to be writing, and I’m happy to be read.  Just recently I got my first comment and you would have thought I’d just make 1,000 dollars the way I was reacting.  I was punching the air, thanking God, and generally feeling like I was a success.  It was only one comment, after writing for over a year and a half, but it was someone who had read my work and was “reassured” by it.  Another schizophrenic who was looking to shatter the limitations of schizophrenia and do something great with his life.  If you’d like to visit his site and read some of his work you can do so by going to schizem.com.

But personally I don’t know if writing about schizophrenia is going to be my niche or not.  It certainly could be.  But I want to add value to a massive number of people and I don’t know that the 10% of the population directly or indirectly effected by the condition will meet my standard of massive.  But perhaps I will have to settle for that and if and when I make this blog a success I can coach other people on how to make money with their own blogs.  Right now I’m just writing about what I’m learning, and how you can benefit from schizophrenia (when it looks like there are no benefits).

So I guess my blog is about schizophrenia.  The value I can add for schizophrenics is that I provide a story of success and hope, and write tips on how you can duplicate my success, and not, well, be on disability.

It’s more than just about schizophrenia, it’s about love, life and art.  And what you can do to be a success story for other schizophrenics.  I’ve written a lot of stuff that I don’t think meets my standard for creating massive value, but I’m improving so there’s hope.  I hope you can improve and create more value too!

But another thing I learned from being in the Empower Network is that you’ve got to take massive action if you want to be successful.  The more action you can take, the more rapid your successes will be.  It’s going to take time, there’s no doubt about that, but you can shorten the amount of time it takes to make your first dollar by taking massive action.  Write!

You will see it all over the internet.  They will tell you that “Content is King”.  You’ve got to write and write valuable things if your going to get traffic and keep that traffic.  You’ve got to be good, and better than good, you’ve got to be great.  You’ve got to be an outstanding success.  Schizophrenic or not, the same rules apply.  Hard work over time leads somewhere.  Where will depend on how you do that hard work, but you know that hard work of any kind is going to lead you somewhere.  Start with your end in mind.  That’s what I say.  Go somewhere you want to go.  Whether it be to a million dollars, 50 million dollars, or 500 million dollars.  My personal number to retire and be done is about 15 million.  That would get me the lifestyle I want, for me, my family, and the organizations I donate to.  But what do you want?  What’s your number?  Leave a comment on this post and tell me what your goal is.  I would love to hear from you!

But the number one thing I learned from the Empower Network that I think is still helping me to this day is that to get traffic you have to blog daily.  So that’s what I’m doing.  And I’m going to make it happen for myself, and for everyone else involved.  I’m already finding new ways to increase my traffic, and I’m meeting people that are willing to help me get more traffic right now.  I thank God for those people, and want to work harder to find more of them.  I want to be an unstoppable force for good.  To empower people, schizophrenics and those without schizophrenia to accomplish their dreams and live a better life.  And I know I can do it.  What I need to do is to take massive action, and read quality books that are going to fill my mind with the information I need to become a success.  And to help other people become a success.  I’m excited and I’m excited to help you.

Here’s to making your first million dollars, with or without Empower Network!  May God bless you and yours… Thanks for reading.

Finding Value In Those Things Which Make Us Suffer

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.  Only through the experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”  -Helen Keller

For me, one of those things that makes me suffer is schizophrenia.  I’m recovered but at times it still irritates and annoys me that I hear voices.  They are not always friendly and at times they can be downright bad.  What good can come from a voice that regularly wishes you’d die?  The answer, I’ve found, is to thank God everyday, for everyday that I’m above ground.  Life is a blessing, and like any other person on the path of lifelong learning, I seek to improve.

And I am making improvements.  They’ve been coming slowly, but they are definitely showing up in my life as a result of my hard work.  I am a very grateful person and I am always being blessed as a result of being grateful for what I have.  And, because of my gratitude, I am finding new things and more things to be grateful for.  For example, my job is a blessing.

I came on with my company about a year and a half ago, and I started at the bottom.  It just so happened that the store I was working in needed good people to run it so the opportunity for growth was there.  And I’ve seen growth.

On my birthday in 2016 I got a dollar twenty five pay increase.  You may be saying, well, that’s not much at all, but for a low paying part time job, that’s definitely a step in the right direction.  Along with the raise I was also given more opportunity.

My company was aware that I had an interest in sales, that really I loved sales and wanted to be a part of it.  They have been telling me since I started working there that I’m great with the customers.  I do love the our customers.  And I’ve had the privilege of driving the companies box truck on deliveries and various other places and on these trips in some cases I’ve needed rides back to the store.  On these rides back I was driven by who is now the president of our 3 stores.  We had the opportunity to have conversations about life and I expressed the desire to get back into sales at some point.  At first they recommended I try something with my spare time as the job is only part time and they are flexible with hours.

But as time went on the company needed a salesperson.  They needed someone who would be able to expand business and develop new relationships.  So the conversations I had with our president were remembered and they decided to give me a shot at being a salesperson.

So I’ve been doing some work as a salesperson.  Up to this point I haven’t been dedicated on a consistent basis to sales because the store needed me to do the work of keeping it running.  But with one of the other people chosen to be a salesperson deciding that the job wasn’t for them, my company decided to let me have another territory, another store.

There are 3 stores in all, and now I had two of them.  I was the salesperson for two of the three stores and my job was to build relationships.  I was to take free samples of our products around to businesses that have a need for our food and build relationships with them.

Just yesterday I was informed that the president was excited about this new role I was taking on, and that I should be the person to take on all three stores!  I went from being a salesperson at my home store to taking on all three stores in the company!  This position also comes with the title of Sales Coordinator, which is a big step up from just being an associate.  I don’t believe this would have happened if I hadn’t taken the leap into sales in 2010 after I lost my job.  I don’t believe this would have happened if I hadn’t been self educating myself on the topics of sales, leadership, and self improvement.  And this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t first taken the step to just take an hourly wage and forget about sales for a while, while I worked for a steady paycheck.

More good news is that now with 3 stores to sell for, I may also get another hourly pay increase!  At least that’s what they told me today.  I don’t know how much, or when it will happen, but another hourly increase wouldn’t even included the bonuses for successful selling.  I am growing and improving at my little job and I never expected this kind of opportunity when I first started.

Needless to say, I’m excited.  But the work has only just begun.  Sales is a lot harder than just working at the store, cutting the meat and making sandwiches for customers.  I’m going to have to work my butt off for any success and even if I work hard success isn’t guaranteed.  I’m going to have to work smart, develop myself, add value, and act with integrity.  I’m going to have to keep learning… learning about how to build long term relationships with healthy businesses.  I’m going to have to make a success of this opportunity, because failure just isn’t an option.  Success must be my destiny.

So I’ve built my character along the way… especially being a schizophrenic and at one point totally dropping the ball on my responsibility to my wife and children.  I have struggled to work and now that I’ve made a success of myself as an hourly employee I’m being given the opportunity to make a success of myself in sales.  And I have a lot going for me when it comes to my company supporting my endeavors.  I have all the tools for success.  I just have to make it happen.  But as for now, my success in sales has yet to be seen.  I am successful at working a job and growing with a company, and I have that as an asset going into the responsibility of this position.

And there is no doubt in my mind that I will continue to grow as a result of the suffering that comes along with sales.  People say no, they don’t want to talk to you, their short with you, they don’t have a need.  But some people, and I know this for sure, will buy. I just have to find them and demonstrate to them that I am the best at what I do, and that they will benefit by working with me.  My struggle will continue and it can and must lead to success.

But the value I can get from my suffering… the suffering of being a schizophrenic, the suffering of being someone who smoked for 14 years, the suffering of being a husband and a father (where the good vastly outweighs the trouble), the suffering of being in debt, the suffering of spending just as much or more than I make, all of it I can learn from and benefit from, for the highest good of all concerned.

The value of suffering, from whatever your going through, is that it gives you a story to tell.  The stories of going from the bottom to the top are nearly endless when you look up stories of successful people.  You know the story, they start poor, with nothing, aspire to rise above their circumstances and end up changing the world for the better.  They become a blessing for a massive number of people.  Take Tony Robbins for example.  He came from a family who didn’t even have the money to put together a thanksgiving meal.  He swore he would make a better life for himself and look what he’s accomplished!  Granted you can find those stories of success, but they are not common.  It takes a lot more than just hard work to be someone great, and to live a life that’s to your designing.

But to find your value in your suffering, let it make you great.  You came from somewhere that no one would want to come from, and despite your challenges you can make something great of yourself.  And I believe whether you fail or not, whether your successful or not, is entirely up to you.  I believe God will help us when we ask for the help and are deserving of it.  And we are deserving of it when we are working hard and learning, and continuing to grow.  In the name of not only ourselves, or our families, but in the name of adding value to a massive number of people.  When we aim to make the world a better place, and take massive action to make it so, we are stepping into our power.  We are leaving a legacy, we are contributing.  We are making lives better.  We become a blessing to others.  And none of this would be possible without suffering.

So really, it just can’t be done without suffering.  And the more you go through, the better your story will be.  So although suffering isn’t fun or enjoyable, it should be welcomed.  As someone who’s optimistic I would say… “This too shall pass” and you’ll be better off for it.  Squeeze every ounce of value out of your suffering and make the most of it.  When you reach your success, you’ll be happy you had those character building times that made you who you are.  As for me I’m going to take my suffering and make the most of it.  I’m going to stop spending more than I make, and I’m going to save more.  I’m going to commit to quitting cigarettes and be one of the 10% of schizophrenics who don’t smoke (according to wikipedia, 90% of schizophrenics smoke).  I’m going to pay off my debt in the shortest amount of time possible.  I’m going to give more to my family and to my church.  I’m going to start exercising again and make the most of my gym membership.  The change of becoming a non-smoker has taken me 14 years to begin to translate into reality, so I don’t expect all these changes to happen overnight.  I am optimistic however, and I know that if I keep working hard, keep learning, keep improving, it’s going to pay off.  The future is bright, despite my challenges.

If you would like to share your story of struggle, and the value it gives to you, then leave a comment.  I would love to hear from you.  Here’s to your success, and to benefiting from whatever your going through, for you, your family, and for the rest of the world.  Thanks for reading.  Bless and be blessed.

The Advantages Of Living With A Mild Case Of Schizophrenia

Yes, I am a schizophrenic, but I think you could call my particular case mild.  I still hear voices everyday, and a lot of times they tell me to die or they just scream the word “cancer” at me, but at times the voices are an aide and they become useful.

Don’t get me wrong, there are limitations imposed upon any schizophrenic’s thinking.  To me what that means is that as a schizophrenic I just have to work harder than the average person for success.  One of the advantages the schizophrenia has taught me is the strength to focus.  If the voices go off in different directions, I just have to work harder to maintain my focus so I can get done what I need to get done.

But my case of schizophrenia is mild.  It really doesn’t effect my own thinking, and my own emotions, and my own actions.  At least it doesn’t anymore.  I’ve made many big mistakes as I was learning to cope with my schizophrenia.  They’ve told me to lie, cheat, and steal and I’ve had to come to terms with my own values and learn to say NO!

So one big advantage of schizophrenia is that you learn what you value and what you will and will not do.  You learn, or re-learn from experience the difference between right and wrong.  And sometimes the schizophrenia acts as the voice of the conscious.  Letting you know about all the wrongs you’ve done in your life and the advantage of that is to learn from them, and begin again to do the right thing.

Another advantage of schizophrenia is that it sometimes aides in visualization.  I’ve heard stories of very successful people practicing positive self talk before a big presentation and hearing the voices of the crowd say YES!  It’s much like that in that when I’m visualizing, with enough focus and effort I can hear the sounds of success from the voices.  They tell me I’m famous, that my work is good, that I’ll make lots of money, that I have a good family, and that I overall am the greatest human being on planet earth.  And I can feel those words in my body.  I can feel more powerful because I have the reinforcement of voices that seem to be coming from a place other than my own mind.  And that is valuable in the respect that it gives me hope for a better future.

Another advantage of having a mild case of schizophrenia is it increases creativity.  It gives you things to write about.  I’ve written an entire book on a year of my life that without the schizophrenia it wouldn’t be much of a story at all.  This blog is also host to many posts on schizophrenia, so really the problem I have has given me a lot to write about.  I was just reading some other schizophrenic’s poetry online when I was searching for the title “schizophrenic writes about love”.  His poetry was dark though.  I just can’t do that.  I have to stay positive and optimistic about the present and the future.  And I have to share my stuff with the world… for better or worse.  Although when asking myself the question “How do I add value for a massive number of people” I think that the majority of my work is going to be positive.  And really not only do I want it to be positive, but I want it to be the best in the world.  The best on the internet.  I want to be the greatest schizophrenic alive.  And I think I can do that through creative writing.  And I think you can do that too!

And finally, yet another advantage of schizophrenia is that, for me at least, it’s taught me how to thank God for everyday.  There’s very few days that go bye that I don’t thank God for another day.  Any of us could die at any time from any reason and my schizophrenia is a constant daily reminder of that.  I thank God for another day, each day and I am daily being taught how to live my life to the fullest.  That is probably the greatest advantage of the schizophrenia that I have noticed.

I hope that you have gained some valuable insights from this post.  Feel free to write me at any time if you feel the need and let me know what you think of this whole thing.  You can reach me at creel.jesse@gmail.com.  Thank you, I love you, and God Bless!

Schizophrenia, Healing, and Empowerment

Yes, I am a schizophrenic.

And I have been for about 7 years.  Since I lost my job in 2010.  That’s a landmark for me.  I’ve since recovered and have another job.

But it wasn’t always this way.  At one point I had to heavily rely on my family to stay with them and get by.  They helped me pay my debts when I didn’t have the motivation to pay them myself.  At one point I hated working and wasn’t able to like the things I had to do.  So I didn’t do them.  I would just sit around and listen to the voices tell me to die, and at one point they had me convinced I was going to die.  That this was it.  That it was over.  Tears came down my eyes.

And they still tell me to die.  But I haven’t yet, and I’m recovered and working.  And I’m in the process of improving.  Of living life again.  Of solving problems, or at least working on them… and I’ve come to a conclusion.

If I have schizophrenia all that means is that I have to work harder than a normal person to achieve success.  So that’s exactly what I’m doing.

I have some serious issues to tackle, like my credit card debt.  Which is almost more than I can handle… but I’ve got to stay committed to paying it off to a zero balance in the shortest amount of time possible.  And I can do it.  Tied into my problem of debt is my problem of not getting enough hours at my job.  I’m working and that’s a success, but I’m not consistently getting 40 hour work weeks.  I’ve got to increase my income, and get full time work… so I’m working on finding another job.

I do love the one I’m working now though.  I’ve met some great people working there and the job is practically easy.  But it’s something you do when you can’t do anything else.  And at the time I took the job, I really couldn’t do anything else.

But now I’m getting it together and I’d like to work at a place that offered benefits like a 401k.  I’m looking forward to the future now.  For my family.  You see, I have a wife and two kids.

And I’ve really got to start looking out for myself, for them.  Rock and roll, sales, and network marketing really took their tolls on my working life and I lost far more than I gained.  At the same time those were some of my most valuable life lessons.  I learned later that you should only seeks gains when there’s little or no risk.  Otherwise you could end up losing it all.  And that’s exactly what I did.

And although I’m working successfully I still haven’t recovered from the losses I took when I was finding my path.  My path now is not to rely on social security for disability but to work 40 or 50 hours every week and pay off my debt as fast as possible.

And there are millions of jobs out there so I’m optimistic.  I’m thinking I’ll will eventually find the right job for me and I’ll be able to work full time, and I will have improved my life again.

And I must keep those improvements coming.

So now that I’ve healed parts of my life of the schizophrenia and I can still work in spite of it… I’m ready to move on to other parts of my life and heal and become empowered in them as well.  And if you want to take that journey with me as well, my friend, you are more than welcome to.  The way I see it is we are in for a lot of hard work, and a lot of blessings too.  May they come in avalanches of abundance.

So I’m empowered to make progress, and the faster it is the better.  We’ve got to find ways to speed things up because you do know that our time is one of our most valuable resources.  Only so much of it, and then it’s over so better make the best of it.

I know for certain that hard work is a good thing and it amounts to something.  What it amounts to depends on how well you do it, but no matter what your capacity hard work is a good value.  I have learned to like hard work.  And I love putting hard work into my creativity because that’s just so much fun.  So as we work, we can have fun, and doesn’t that make your day just so much better?!

If we could only get our creativity to lead to income, now then we’d really be talking.  And walking.  Walking the walk.  That’s what we want to do so it’s time to take massive action right now.  Think of something you can do that will add value to a massive number of people, and do that thing right now!  Stop reading this and go do it, the blog will be here when you’ve finished.  Take massive action!

I hope that empowered you to take the first step, or the next step… if you didn’t yet stop and take massive action toward one of your goals, then go do it now!  I’m writing this to tell you I believe in you and I know you can live the life of your dreams.  Get on with it!

And if your a schizophrenic and your say, waiting to get on disability, and you need money now, go out and find a job!  You can do it!  And you can work and recover and get your life in better shape.  I did it, you can too!

And you know there’s going to be haters out there, hating on you for doing you.  You just got to “Shake it off” as Taylor Swift says.

And work your tail off.  You can do it!

So if your schizophrenic, or suffering from any other problem… heal! and be empowered!  Share your story with others once you’ve got a better hold on your life and help others to avoid the same mistakes you made.  A few will learn from you and put into action what they’ve learned.  And those few people who become better because you helped them are benefited by your contribution.  Become a better person and have a more positive impact on the world!

I love you, thanks for reading.

Accepting Limitations, A Personal Story Of Living With Schizophrenia

There was a time when I thought I had no limitations.

I tried to be a rock and roll superstar and make it like the Rolling Stones and take over the world.

I failed.  And became a schizophrenic.

I also had a family.  Got married and had two kids.

Now my kids are 4 and 1 and I’m just working to help support them the best I can.

My wife does most of the work.  She is a teacher and makes an average salary.  Enough to keep us in our little town home and keep the lights on and the dishwasher running.  I would not be able to do what I do if it wasn’t for her.

So I have support and Thank God for that.  But the desire to become independent of my wife is strong in me.  I want to make more money.  Right now I work at a little Ham shop where I do deliveries, help the store run, and make sales calls.  I’m working on becoming a successful salesperson there.  And with that I have the opportunity to make more money.  But I only make 15,000 dollars a year and even if I did sell my ass off I doubt I would even be able to come close to doubling my income.  I may be able to make another 1,000 dollars this year selling it through bonuses.  That would help but it’s still nowhere near where I need to be.  And thus my struggle with accepting my limitations and living with schizophrenia.

You see, last night as I was visualizing winning the lottery, which I have done some of in the past too, I imagine the excitement of winning and how it would look and feel.  And then out of no where my visualization takes a turn that I have no control over and in my mind I’m tackled by an unknown person.  It’s as if the schizophrenia doesn’t want me to win the jackpot.

When I was working in sales at another job I would visualize selling my desired number of packages and the same thing would happen.  There would be a shadow that came in to consume me.  To bite me and to stop the visualization.  It’s really a pain in the neck.

What does the schizophrenia teach me in this way?

The answer is not simple.  And it’s a hard fact to choke down.  I, because of my problems visualizing success probably will never do anything that breaks records, or even comes close to outstanding success in winning the lottery or in sales.  At my job now, mostly what I do is unaffected by the schizophrenia.  I’m working with my hands and just have to do my job.  There is no visualization required to perform a good job at my current job and do the job well.  So really, I count my blessings that I even have a job, and that I have an income.  So my limitations may include not making more than 15,000 dollars a year.  That is really a hard fact to choke down.

Granted, I could make something of my writing if I keep reading and write valuable things.  Tony Robbins says that wealth comes from being valuable so what I can do is read and write and get my work out there and see what happens.  It’s worth it to write whether I make anything of it or not (meaning whether I’m paid well to do it or not) because I grow in the process.  I improve and become a better person.  More valuable.  And that is invaluable to me.  Reading and writing really is a gold mine.  For schizophrenics, and for everyday people.

So I’m accepting the fact the right now, although I could improve in the future, that I am only capable of making 15,000 dollars a year.  I am accepting the fact that I will probably never win the lottery.  I am accepting the fact that I will probably never be a six figure earner as a salesperson.  I am accepting the fact that I will probably never make it in music, rock and roll, blues, or anything like it.  I am also accepting of the fact that my writing will probably never make me any money.  I hope I am wrong, but these are safe assumptions that can serve me by increasing my humility.  And humility can serve me by bringing me back down to earth and allowing me to work my job distraction free.  And working hard and fast is valuable for the mind body and soul because your making an honest living and doing the job well.

But boy would I like to make 6 figures.  Even 7.

I suppose it comes down to how much I can learn.  How much I can read and turn my reading into value for my readers.

But I guess that is just my failure to accept my limitations.  And that is probably a good thing as it keeps me striving to get better.  I know I can’t just go out and get a sales job and sell my ass off.  I have to keep my 15,000 a year and work with that.  Try to quit smoking so I can save more money and help to support my family the best I know how.

But I think my limitations can serve me by allowing me to be grateful for what I do have.  Because with a family, I am very blessed, and money isn’t everything.  You could always love God, because he gives you everything you need to grow and become a better person.  Really, with free will, it comes down to you to make those improvements and change your life.  What I do accept is the challenge to improve.

So I suppose that as M. Scott Peck says in his book “The Road Less Traveled and Beyond” to paraphrase… life is full of paradoxes.  And accepting your limitations while attempting to improve yourself is exactly that, a paradox.  Peck also said if I remember correctly that if you have a paradox on your hands your probably standing in the light of Truth and that what you have discovered is actually the way things are.

So I am improving within the constraints of my limitations.  I accept my limitations and work with them, but I also seek to improve and break through into new ground.  A paradox.  One that I am happy to have in my life.

Thank you for reading this post, may you break through your limitations and set the bar higher for yourself, and may God Bless you and yours now and forever.

 

 

Schizophrenia and Working For 10 Dollars An Hour

Yes, that is what I do.  I work for 10 dollars an hour.  Plus bonuses and mileage.  And I’m a schizophrenic.  All things considered I’m an outstanding success.

But I hold myself to a high level of expectation.  I always have.  I remember saying to one of my aunts when I was very young that I knew I was going to do something BIG.  I just didn’t know what that thing would be.

And life has it’s way with you.  And you have to go with the flow.  It’s not all going to work out as if you have written a script for your life.  Some things will be granted to you and somethings will not.  Some things, I think, will take more time than others…. Like success.  You have to overcome failure to have success.  At least I think that’s the case.

All I can tell you how to do at this point is make 10 dollars an hour because that’s what I do consistently and that’s what I’ve made of my life so far.  I could tell you how to make almost 20 dollars an hour because I’ve done that too… but I lost it all and had to start over.  So I’m not really sure how to make 20 dollars an hour anymore.  All I know is how to make 10 and get some bonuses along the way.

And to get the ten dollars an hour you have to work hard.  You have to do it fast.  You have to put love into your work.  You have to do what your bosses tell you to do.  You have to work well with others.  You have to be part of a team.  You have to do your job.

And if I, as a schizophrenic, can make 10 dollars an hour I know that anyone can do it.  Your still living in poverty but 15,000 dollars a year is better than nothing… and you can always improve.

And improve I will.  I will continue to learn… mainly to read books and experience my daily life in a way that will benefit me and others.  And I will execute on my knowledge and write books and this blog and share my life with the world.  It’s a beautiful thing to do.  It’s art.  It has value, to me and hopefully to others.  And it’s something that I can do with my time that is constructive.

It’s better than sitting around drinking and smoking everyday, all day.  Garbage in garbage out.  Good in, good out.  I’ve seen the light and it’s told me to quit smoking and drinking and keep working, and working on my life when I’m not working.

Work, Read, Write… Repeat.  Love my family, spend good times with them.  Go to church, thank God for another day and for all the good things in my life.  I heard in a sermon that going to church was the highest form of prayer.  I wouldn’t want to miss that!  I love praying.  It helps me to build a relationship with God.  It helps me figure out my priorities and what I really want out of life.  And I work.

And part of my work is writing.  Creating content that is the most valuable content in the world.  And writing the experience of being schizophrenic and having success earning an income is, in my opinion, one of the most valuable things on the planet earth.  Some schizophrenics can’t work and are reliant on the government for any income.  I personally am a success making 10 dollars an hour, although not much is still a living that I can save for retirement with.  Save for college tuition for my children.  Save for my daughters marriage.  Save for the new ring I want to buy my wife as a symbol of making it in the world.  “We made it” I want the ring to say.

So I have my dreams and things I’m working towards… but right now I’m still a success because I’m a schizophrenic who can work for an income.  I have a lot of reasons to do well and they support me in my endeavors.  The schizophrenia strengthens me and propels me towards independent thinking, my own choices, making the right choice, choosing good over evil, and choosing to progress over stagnation.

And that’s how you make ten dollars an hour as a schizophrenic.  After a while it’s like your a normal person.  You hear voices but that’s normal for you and it doesn’t bother you.  Sometimes it entertains you, sometimes it enhances you, sometimes it teaches you… it’s almost as if you have an advantage over the regular person who doesn’t hear voices.  Everyday schizophrenia teaches you more about life and that is why I consider it a blessing rather than a curse.

At times, when the schizophrenia was bad, it seemed like my marriage could be cursed, my life cursed, my life doomed, my success only a dream, my immaturity broadcasted to the world, pained by my own stupidity.

But Thank God, I lived through that.  Now I’ve come out the other side a better person for it.  Mainly because I’ve stopped smoking.  The voices talked a lot about cancer especially when the smoking was making me feel like I was sick or dying.

But really, I’ve gotten over all of that.  I have a beautiful family and I’ve got to improve my life so that I can give more to them.  And I’m on the right track.  I’m no where close to where I want to be, but I’m getting better by the day.  And the reading and the writing really makes me feel like I’m becoming a more valuable person.

Years ago, while I was trying to make it in network marketing I came across a Jim Rohn quote that said ” Formal education will make you a living, but self education will make you a fortune”.  I wanted to skip the formal education and go right to the self education.  Why spend all that time just making a living when you could be making a fortune.  Still, despite my best efforts at self education I failed at network marketing and took losses.

But I haven’t given up on self education making me that fortune.  I think it can be done and I think the formula is work, read, write.  Make an income while you write.  Save money, pay your bills.  By the end of 5 years I should have my credit card paid off with a nice chunck of cash sitting being invested.  Not to mention 6 books.  I’ve already got one written, I’m in the process of printing it out and rereading it… and editing it.  But that’s the rate I want to go at.  1 book per year.  See what I come up with.  Print them all out and keep them.  Maybe seek publishing.

Publishing really should be a no brainer for me.  It would take courage to release my work unto the world, because of the bad things that could happen to me and my family because of it.  But I think there would be more good than bad, and that the bad could be turned into good, and we could all benefit from it.

And writing could take my income to the next level.  Realistically that would take years to do… but I’ve got nothing but time.  No money and plenty of time.  At least no money I want to spend.  I’d rather save and invest.  That how I hear you get wealthy and I’d like to try and get wealthy.  Not a lot of people make it, and the odds are stacked against me, especially with my condition, but I’m going to do it anyways.  I’m going to make something of myself for myself and for my family, and for other people.  To give.  That’s what I want to do.  And part of that giving is my writing.  And part of my mission is to make myself and my writing more valuable.  And I think the key to becoming more valuable is to read more books.

And the right books, books on improvement.

Tony Robbins claims to have read over 700 books on his course to writing his own books and his writing is filled with quotes from other writers.  I want to do more of that myself.  Quote other authors to help prove my point.  “Success leaves clues”…. that’s a quote I’ve heard from multiple sources.  Once when I was in network marketing and once recently when I was reading a Tony Robbins book.

Really though, this desire to improve and read books and write books and write a journal and keep a journal, and work…. really it’s only recently that I’ve gotten the motivation to do those things.  Many times in the not so distance past I would just sit on the couch all day and listen to the voices, talking and playing with them.  Or being freaked out by them.  That and smoking.  I did a lot of that.  Only by God’s grace did I live through that, and now I never want to go back to that lifestyle.  I seek health, wealth, wisdom, family, friends, customers, coworkers, God, fulfillment, pleasure, growth, love, and all things that are good in life.  And for God’s sake, more money.  We live in the richest land on earth… America… and I want to pay my dues to get my piece of it.  And I have defined my piece of it to be 2 or more million dollars.

But I know that God has a will and my own will will only be done if it is in harmony with God’s will.  Otherwise I’ll just be failing.

Right now God’s will is for me to work at Honeybaked Ham and grow with the opportunity to sell the product.  But who knows… perhaps with time God may call me to write books for a living, and post to this blog.  That would be a dream come true and I know I can make it happen… I’m putting in the work right now.

And work hard I will.  Because I know that people can make fortunes off of writing blogs and books and with schizophrenia I think I should have a gold mine of work to sell to people.  What I really think will make it a gold mine though is the reading.  The self education.  The more I learn the better I will be able to think and the better able I am to think the better able I will be to write.

I had some old journals on the bookshelf in my townhouse’s basement and my wife took them off because she thought they were ugly.  She put them on the floor.  She told me to put them away.  I thought they were fine where they were but this is marriage after all and there is some adjustments that have to be made in order to create harmony.

So I brought a ham box home from work.  Plenty big enough for all of my journals.  And I went through them today and read a page or two in each of them.  What I found right off the bat was Og Mandino’s Ten Scrolls.  If you’ve never heard of them look it up.  I think you can find it for free on the internet.  I’m going to give them another try.  The thing he tells you to do is read this empowering material 3 times a day for 30 days… for each section.  There are 10 sections.  I’m going to give it another go.  The first time I did it I only made it thirteen days through the first scroll.  I know I can do better than that.  The 10 scrolls came out of the book “The Greatest Salesman In The World” written by Og Mandino.  I am a salesman, so I think this may help me.  It’s meant to condition your subconscious for success.  Hence, all the repetition.

But that’s really all that’s going on right now.  Working for 10 dollars an hour and trying to make a fortune by reading and writing.  I’m sure I’ll find my way and I’m sure that it will be good.  Thanks for reading.  I love you.  Jesse Creel.

What is Schizophrenia?

I wanted to answer that question not only for someone who wants to know the answer, but I wanted to define it for myself…. as someone who has it.

The short answer is schizophrenia is the condition in which someone hears voices in their head on a daily basis.  Sometimes they are saying good things, sometimes they are saying bad things and it really all depends on how your doing that day what kind of mood the voices are in.

I had one of the voices tell me the other day that she is going to say to me whatever she feels like saying at that moment.  I was in the shower.  Sometimes it’s easier for them to communicate with me when there is background noise like a shower or the faucet running.

Schizophrenia for me has been a blessing.  It’s better allowed me to distinguish right from wrong and to make more of the right decisions.  And the voices approve of those better choices and bless me for it.  Like the decision to quit smoking.  They blessed me for that just today.  Just because schizophrenia is not normal doesn’t make it unhealthy or bad.  It’s the person with the schizophrenia that can make their lives either good or bad depending on their decisions and what they do with what they have.
Schizophrenia for me is really not a good or a bad thing.  It’s just the way things are.  And it’s a frame of reference for how I’m doing.  When I feel like I’m doing good the voices will many times agree.  When I feel like I could do better they have something to say too.

Schizophrenia is when you hear the voices of public figures in your head, and you hear those people who are close to you in your head… and you hear all the public, neighbors and even people you don’t know…. they are all in your head.  And many of them have something to say.  And if your not doing well they will not be ashamed to tell you they want you to die, and that they would like to kill you.

So you take the good with the bad.  Like everything else in life.

One of the things schizophrenia has taught me is to be grateful for everyday.  And I thank God daily for another day.  I have been told to die in my head so many times and I feel like I could be dying right now… that it sometimes seems like I really could die at any moment.  One of those pains could overtake me and that would be it.  So I’m grateful and just want to be good and a strong role model for my children.  That’s why I’m quitting smoking.  I’m also writing a book on it.  Stating my progress each day.  Today I started over at day one.  I want to go two weeks without one.  I have a vaporizer that I think will help me through the mornings because those are the toughest times not to smoke.

Schizophrenia doesn’t have to be a disability either.  Sure when I wasn’t working and hated working I tried to get social security disability… I was denied and set out to repeal the decision.  But the desire to get money, the necessity promoted the opportunity to work and I found a job, thanks to my brother.  I do have a lot of help from my family, thank God… but I am still attempting to become independent and make enough money to pull at least my own weight.

Because sadly, I do not pull all of my own weight right now.  My wife is the primary breadwinner.  I give her as much money as I can, but I would like to be able to pay at least half of the bills.  That way I’m pulling all of my own weight.  We would still be helping each other and relying on each other, but our lives would both be better if I could make more money.

So I don’t look at schizophrenia as a disability but rather a trait that helps me write, work, and live a good life.

It can even be spiritual at times.  The voices talk in mysteries sometimes and it’s hard to make sense of what their saying.  Like a dream that isn’t literal.  You can learn about yourself from it, but it’s not to be taken too seriously.  You have to get on with what you think your meant to do here.

Schizophrenia is just a daily hallucination that either helps you or hinders you depending upon your outlook.  Personally I often look to God for help and I credit all the good things I have in my life not to my own hard work, but to God Himself working in the world today.  The way I look at it is we are all here co-creating our lives with each other and with God and working hard we are destined to make something good of ourselves.  I think we all just have to learn to benefit from whatever happens to us, good and bad, and be grateful for life.  I think the point of life is to learn right from wrong and do everything in our power to make the most good out of our lives that we can.  To help God make the world a better place.

And the world will be a better place if we grow.  And we can grow by learning to face our problems more than we run from them.  If we can learn to consistently face our problems, and the pain that comes along with them, we will grow in our lives and will be in a better position to help other people.  And the problems will never end, there will only be better problems for us to work on that will result in a better quality of life when we solve them.  And God willing we will solve them.

But back to what schizophrenia is and isn’t… schizophrenia should have no bearing on how much money you make in your life.  It may add flavor to your consciousness but it’s your own thoughts and actions that will determine the quality of your life.  That’s the way it is for everyone and schizophrenics are no exception.

I should also say, in reference to those people who are overwhelmed by more intense schizophrenia the government should give you money, as they do.  Even though it’s not much… they should still give something, and they do.  I’m happy to contribute something to the government that’s going to help take care of and heal our sick people.  Taxes are a good price to pay when it’s going to help make our world, or at least our country, a better place to live in.

Schizophrenia for me has been a blessing.  It helped rearrange my life and get my priorities in order.  I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but I think I only did it to myself with the decisions I made and messing with people not thinking of the consequences.  Messing with myself.

I always say “We all get what we deserve” and life will teach you that.  And in the end there’s a judgement to see how you did.  But life will make you suffer, whether you have schizophrenia or not.  We all have to deal with pain.  What makes us good is when we learn and improve.  There’s no sense in crying about it.  I saw on a couple different fire trucks a sign that said “don’t cry, just supply”.  That’s a good quote for when people are going through hard times and you have a job to do.  Just supply.  Yes!  Firetrucks are good.

But schizophrenia is when you hear voices in your mind and they seem to have their own consciousness and their own intelligence.  They are not always nice but personally I couldn’t imagine life without them and it makes for an interesting adventure.  It makes the game of life special everyday and I look forward to more improvement and positive change in my life and the lives of others.

May we all bless and be blessed.  Thank God, Amen.

Create A Wealthy Life, Create Great Wealth Along With Great Health And Wisdom

What more could you ask for… health, wealth, and wisdom.  I tried to cheers to that at family events and my grandfather only wanted the health.  But I have a dream.

And my dreams are turning into reality.  I have a plan.  One I can make public which would make it all the better.  Document the road to riches.  The road to great wealth.  That’s the end game.  Die wealthy.

Leave a legacy.  Something the world can live off of after your gone.  That’s doing a service to the world.  And Tony Robbin’s books will still be around after he’s dead.  Hopefully that won’t be for many years.

But in “Money, Master the Game” Robbins says ” The secret to wealth is simple: Find a way to do more for others than anyone else does.  Become more valuable.  Do more.  Give more.  Be more.  Serve more.  And you will have the opportunity to earn more.”

And that’s exactly what I wanted to make this blog post about.  Becoming more valuable.  And translating that value into the written word.

I’m valuable at my job.  I make 10 dollars an hour there.  Not bad considering I don’t really have to do much.  There’s not much heavy lifting involved.  It’s a pretty easy job.  And I love it it’s so easy.  And I get paid to do it so I love it even more.  Even if they don’t pay much.  They are flexible with time, so I can take time off to see my therapist or write, or spend time with my family.

But I can give more.  I’m taking my family to church tomorrow and I’m going to give the church 40 dollars.  I could and really should give more, but I want to give at least two twenties to them to get the karma wheel going in the right direction.

Because I’m going to invest and I want my investments to mostly work out.  It won’t bother me if some of them don’t work out, but by and large I want the vast majority of them to work out.  Consistently and on the long term.

But isn’t that every investors dream?

Really I have no idea what I’m doing as an investor.  My plan for tomorrow is after church I take my family over to the community college and I sign up for the winter class which is basic investing.  My wife was helping do the research on the class and wants to go with me.  She is excited I’m going to be taking a class.  I’m exciting I’m reading and writing again.  I really took some time off there doing nothing and listening to the voices and playing the lottery.  I definately want to get back into it in a big way and I’m doing it everyday now.  I don’t have enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to do.  I miss reading one night and the next night I miss writing.  I’m writing a new book, don’t you know and it’s about quitting cigarettes.  It’s going to be good.  I’m giving myself all of 2017 to write it.  Write everything.

The goal is to write 2 pages a day but I don’t get nearly that much, maybe half of that.  If that.  But I still write on a regular basis and I do that for a year and then find out what I have.  I have to put on my to do list to print out my last book from 2016 that I haven’t re-read yet.  I want to edit it and maybe even sell it on this site!  Wouldn’t that be fun!  Content is king, and baby I got that.

I think the main answer to my question of how I can become more valuable is to read more books.  I read some, but I read slow and I buy books and they sit on the shelf.  I only read when I get really jazzed up about something… like money, or God.

And aren’t they really the two ultimate things? That and family.  And friends, and work, and life all together…

And my question is why can’t you have both money and God in your life.  What’s wrong with having a lot of money and loving God at the same time?

The voice tells me there’s nothing wrong with that.  It tells that to me now as I’m writing this.  It speaks to me as I write.

Sometimes I write down what it says, sometimes I don’t.  It all depends on how it’s going.  Schizophrenia is not something I share with people right off the bat.  It takes a few conversations before someone knows that and knows I have a blog and a book.  And that I’m writing another book.  It’s on the way.  There will be many if I live to 100 like I plan to.

But how long I live will depend on my quality of life I think.  And that’s part of the reason why I want to quit cigarettes.  So I feel better.  And I’m doing it now.  I haven’t had a cigarette since 9 am this morning.

I have been hitting the vape a lot though.  What purpose does this serve you you may ask?  It’s to tell you there are alternatives to smoking.  Smoking is bad but there are alternatives that are less bad that you can use until your ready to go cold turkey. Just don’t smoke, and don’t do drugs, and don’t drink.  Some would say let them do those things but I want you to get wealthy so I think you should avoid anything that is going to waste your money.  All you need to live is food and water.  And shelter and clothes.  Things like that.  You don’t need cigarettes, or pot, or alcohol…

Even though I bought a 16 dollar bottle of port that is just sweet and hard to drink.  My wife got the idea to get a bottle so I went out and bought one and I don’t think I’ll ever buy port again.  I just got it because I heard about a couple famous writers who drank it and liked it, so I thought I would try it to.

I did not like it.

I’m still drinking it though, for the feeling.  Even though it’s sweet it still gives you the feeling.

That and I have the vape.

What value is this to you?  Well, I guess I’m telling you that you can vape and drink one bottle of wine and be fine and enjoy yourself because that’s what life is for, just don’t smoke.

Really, I feel like I’ve already achieved the success I want in my life.  I’m just happy to spend time with my family and grow old with them.  This is really going to be an amazing journey with money and not smoking and being sober.  I have a sober friend that supports me so that’s awesome.  Really all things are an outstanding success in my life right now and it’s only getting better.

Why am I telling you all this…?  Because I’m a schizophrenic who is not supporting myself completely right now but I’m supporting myself and my family some and desire to support them more now.  And if I can go from not working to working and saving money and taking care of my responsibilities then I think that anyone will a strong will could do the same thing.

So the question is for me, and for anyone else who desires… can a strong will be developed?  Can the weak become strong?  Can one turn one’s life around completely and become wealthy?

The answers to the questions must be a resounding yes!  You need hope, you need a future to look forward to.  You need improvement.

We can do this together.  I know it.  We can write and read, and read and write, and go to college and invest in the market 10 percent of what we earn and we can get rich writing by providing the best value with our writing known to the world.  Something different, something new, something better.  I give a lot of credit to Tony Robbins for setting these ideas into motion in my life, but I think I always knew the right things to do, it just took Tony telling me to do them to get me into action.

And I want to take what I learned, and I want to take my art of writing and turn it into an empire.  Write everyday, write every week, write, every month, write, every year.  Until I die.  Die with my boots on.  David Bowie did.

But hopefully I won’t die for many years… I’m only 32.  I have a family to support and the better part of my life to live.  And with books as my aide and writing as my tool I think I will be able to accomplish anything with this life.  I am so happy I started this blog under my name so that every one knows exactly what I’m about….

Improvement.

That’s exactly why I’m vaping right now instead of smoking.  Hope you think it’s funny.  I still relate.  People are fucked up.  We’re each our own brand of insane.  And other people bring it out in us.  This is just my philosophy and the value it brings to you is to let you know that it’s all ok.  Like in the Micheal Franti song… “all the freaky people make the beauty of the world” and aren’t people a lot like art.  You don’t have to have a college education but it helps.  Tony Robbins only has a high school diploma, like me.  I went to Severna Park High School.   I would go so far as to say that’s the best high school in Maryland.  And I screwed around at college.  Didn’t take it seriously.  Didn’t want to be there.  Thought 12 years of school was enough.  Boy was I wrong.  The more school the better.  Now, I value education, that’s why I’m going back.  I’m going back to school to learn how to invest.

And the trillion dollar value in this for you is that there’s nothing stopping you from going back to school either.  Just save a little money and go back one class at a time… get your associates.  Then take your bachelors online.  Go back for your masters and before you know it your a therapist.  And wouldn’t that be better than working for 10 dollars an hour.

As a therapist you could probably get 50 dollars an hour or better if your good.  And the best I would have to be.  The best you have to be.  That’s my trillion dollar value.  Is that I mean for you the be the best… put your passion into it.  All of it, your heart and soul.  But don’t cut yourself.

Now, I could be wrong, but I think that the way to wealth is through words.  It’s through creating content.  Creating something of great value.  For other people it could be a song or a painting.  For me it’s blog posts and books, and every once in a while freestyle blues guitar playing.

But I just started this thing and I hope you’ll join me for the long haul.  To see how it goes and to improve along the way.  I will let you know if I make it with this blog and with my books and I’ll keep you up to date on how things are going at my job, as a worker and as a salesperson… and I’ll let you know if I win the lottery.  I’ll let you know if I’ve been drinking or smoking and hopefully that’s to a bear minimum.  I’ll provide blog posts and books that are worth trillions of dollars everyday in every way because I love you.  I want you to read and write and live life and enjoy.  And improve along in your hard times.  I hope you’ve immensely enjoyed the read and wish you a wealthy day and night.  If you want me go to the support page and write me.  I might arrange for you to purchase my book.  If you like the blog you will love the book.  Thanks for reading.  I love you.

Jesse Creel

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