The voices didn’t bother me much today.  Lately that’s been the case.  On the way to work today I heard one of them say “Cancer”, but that’s about it.  The rest of the voices are just unintelligible noise that I can’t understand.  I just move on with my business when I hear such voices.

But I had to work today at 10am.  I got up at 8:30.  I went to bed at 10pm the night before so I got 10 and a half hours of sleep.  I still felt tired when I got up, but the coffee quickly cured me of that feeling.  I went in and started on cutting the tomatoes while I waited until the time it was for me to leave for my delivery.

So I cut tomatoes for about a half hour, with a tomato cutter that seemed like it needed to be replaced.  Then I left for my delivery.  It was an especially large delivery, of about 120 box lunches.  To be delivered to BGE in Waldorf.  I went there, it was 15 miles from the store.  I delivered the lunches, got in my car and headed back.

When I got back it was time for me to make the portions we use for sandwiches.  You cut the turkey in half, put it on a tray on the scale and repeat until the tray is filled up.  You can do 2 buckets at a time this way.  My job was to do 5 buckets.  It takes 2 turkeys to fill a bucket.  So I used 10 turkeys.

I got 4 of the buckets done, by putting .20 of a pound into each bag.  Then put the bags in the bucket.  Repeat until done.  That’s it!  I did 4 buckets and then they needed me to go to the bank.  For some reason, they say it’s because I act like I really care about the place (and I do), they trust me with the deposits.  I went to the bank and by the time I got back it was about 1pm.  I had to finish the last bucket, collect my mileage money, and then it was time for me to leave!

I got 28 dollars and change from doing the delivery, plus the mileage it took me to get to the store as it was not my home store and they pay for your gas when you have to drive to the other stores to work.  28 bucks, plus my hourly rate of 10 dollars an hour.  So I made 58 dollars today.  Not bad considering I’m a schizophrenic!

But that’s about how my day went today.  I’m getting in the habit of writing with my free time so here I am, writing.  My plan is to create another stream of income from my writing, so I’m going to work it hard until I get to where I want to be.  I don’t have much traffic, maybe 50 hits a month… but it’s a start and getting a comment the other day on my article “Schizophrenia, Healing, and Empowerment” was a real shot in the arm.  I celebrated the comment in private and with my wife.  I was very excited and look forward to more.  I know people are coming to my website and reading my work, and one of those people felt moved enough to leave a comment!  Success!  Now I’m just working on getting Adsense up on my site so I can make money from clicks.  Get that additional stream of income going.  Monetize from the start… that’s what I read online in an article about how to start a business and make a million dollars from it in your first year.  That was the thing that stuck out to me, that I had to do… monetize from the start!

But that this point in my life the schizophrenia isn’t really bothering me.  The other night I woke up in the middle of the night and heard my brother in laws voice say “Get better Jess.”  I thought that was nice, even though it was only a voice in my head.  I hear my wife’s side of the family in my head a lot… especially my father in law.  I also hear the neighbors voices when I’m out smoking and their going about their business at their own homes.

A lot of them will just say the word “high”.  I don’t know what that means but my guess is that because I’m around they feel like their living in a elevated consciousness.    I don’t know for sure though, like a lot of what the voices say, speaking like dreams do, in ways you could never come up with one your own…. I think when they say the word “high” i just go about my business and like it because it’s better then hearing my own voices say “cancer”.

Because that’s what they say to  me… they say I’m going to die, that I’m already dead, and that nothing will save me.  It makes me grateful to God everyday that I’m alive and I thank Him for another day.

It also helps to be on medication and seeing a therapist once a month.  I would see him more but I’m doing well and we both agree there’s no need to overdo the therapy.  The last time I saw him was just this weekend, and aside from my daughter being hard to talk to and how to deal with that, I had nothing but good things to report!  I had so many good things to report that on the way home I started thinking of things that were going good in my life that I wanted to share but forgot to because we had so much else to talk about.  I didn’t have time with a single session to go over all the good things that had happened over the last two months!

I got through the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays at work well… I have been working on quitting cigarettes and making some progress.  My sales territory has expanded again and my bosses are talking about giving me another hourly raise! My blog is taking off, writing all the time and getting a comment.  My therapist even had some information to share with me about improving my blog.  He said he was very excited for me.  Things really are going great, and I’m looking forward to even more success, and even better times.  It’s about time I get my life together, and part of that, a big part of that, is work.

Thank God I have a good job that is allowing me to grow.  I’m increasing my income hourly, as well as having the opportunity to increase it with commission.  They call it bonuses, I call it commission.  Because that’s what it really is.  I don’t get bonuses if I don’t do any selling, and that is commission.  And I’m happy to have this opportunity.  Tony Robbins said in his book “Money”  that when you add value your going to have the opportunity to have economic abundance.  I guess that means I’m really adding value to Honeybaked Ham, and because of that there giving me more opportunity to make more money!

What more could you ask for?

What about a blog that produces an income!

But I’m getting ahead of myself, I really just want to write about how the schizophrenia has subsided, and I’m working a job successfully.  I plan on having more success as a Sales Coordinator there.  That’s going to look great on my resume.  I’m stoked!  And because I’m only doing it part time I have plenty of time to read and write!  I can still work on my dreams!

Really I would like to work 40 hours every week, and I have been looking for a new job on Craigslist… but with this sales opportunity at Honeybaked, I really do have plenty to chew on.  I’ve got to sell!  I’ve got to take the Sales Coordinator position and make an outstanding success out of it!  I’ve got to do it!  I must do it!  This is a great job!

And I would definitely recommend working at Honeybaked, if that fits your station in life.  It’s a great job even though it doesn’t have a 401k.  They take their people and let them grow.  If they do a good job, they are rewarded.  I got 20 dollars out of the blue one day just for doing my job!  The president of the company came in, as she sometimes does, and tried the turkey salad.  It just so happened that I made that particular batch of turkey salad, and she liked it so much she wanted to give me a bonus!  I think the reason my turkey salad tasted so good to her was because I made it with love.  When I’m mixing all the ingredients together I do it by hand, and as I’m moving the ingredients together I’m thinking about doing it with love.  And I think it tastes better!

I used to work at Paul Reed Smith Guitars on Kent Island, in Stevensville, MD.  I worked there for 5 years.  On a regular basis the owner, Paul Reed Smith would buy us lunch and sit us down to talk to us about the business, about guitars, about rockstars, and about our work in general.  On one of these occasions he told us he did an experiment one time.  He built a guitar.  But he just built it, there was nothing special in the way he went about it.  And to prove what he thought was true, he built another guitar, this time he put love into it.  He claims the one he put love into sounded better.  So really, you can figure what goes into making a good business a good business.  I know that putting love into the salads I make at work make them taste better.

I told one customer that we put love into our work and she didn’t find that particularly interesting, she kept her eyes on herself and proceeded to walk out.  I guess it’s better that if your going to put love into what you do, don’t tell people your doing that.  It makes them feel weird.  At least that’s the way it seemed with that woman.

It makes me realize I should be putting a tremendous amount of love into my writing.  I think it would come out better.  But I haven’t been thinking about it, I’ve just been writing.  I guess I need to think about that more, and starting now and from here on out, put a massive amount of love into my writing.  I know how to put love into the things I do.  I can feel that I’m doing it.  It feels better.  It feels more valuable.  I love it!  So I had better start writing with love, especially if I want to add a massive amount of value to a massive amount of people, like Tony Robbins says is the key to creating wealth.  I’m going to make it happen, God help me.

So what you can learn from this post, what’s valuable here, is my example.  That with therapy and medication, over time you can rebuild your life.  And you can make it into something you love!  Something that’s really really good!  You can work a job, get paid, be valued, get promoted, and continue on the path of improving wherever you go.  Whether it be in the store, out on deliveries, or out on sales calls.  You can make it happen!  I read just last night a story of success about a schizophrenic who works at Sears as a salesperson and has consistently produced the top 1 or 2 results in the store!  Not bad for a schizophrenic!

And if your struggling with symptoms and things aren’t going well for you I remember a piece of advise my therapist told me about a year ago.  He said if the voices tell you to call out, or your losing motivation and feel you can’t do what your family is asking of you… he said “JUST DO IT”.  He said it in kind of an angry, forceful way to me, and he definitely got the point across.  You just have to summon the energy to do things as if you have your back against the wall and there’s no option other than success.  You can’t die, and you can’t fail, so your going to have to succeed.  That’s what it takes to do your stuff!

Now, this post has been concluded.  I certaintly hope you got value from it, whether your a schizophrenic or not. And as I always recommend, to schizophrenics, or to anyone else, go out there and take massive action toward your goals!  Go read!  Go write!  Go work!  Go sell!  Go take care of your family!  And make sure you take care of yourself!

Thanks for reading.  I love you, be sure to leave a comment.  See you on the other side!