This song is about my feelings of being happy for my son’s first birthday.  I want to give him good advice so he can be an outstanding success in all areas of his life.  This is why I find it so easy to improv over E.  But I’m a schizophrenic and I hear voices and it drags me down.  The question is how can I use the schizophrenia to better my life.  The answer is to get the Cancer voices to help me stop smoking.  And all the other non useful and hateful garbage.

But this is just a taste of what a schizophrenic can do on the guitar and with his voice and with his mind.  If you have authority out there and want to look into developing me, you and I could strike a deal.  Play music, record albums, play shows.  I don’t know how much of that I would have left in me though.  It makes me tired just thinking about it.  All the pot, cigarettes, and alcohol.  I am having a glass of wine right now.  It’s the last of my wine.  My wife still has some white left I think so I may be stealing a glass of that later.  Stealing is such a bad word though, it’s more like I’m in the process of replacing the wine.  But really I’m not going to be buying any more alcohol for a while.  I just am valuing the money.  Spend it on food.  And drink water.  That’s the plan.  And after my body is recovered from the smoking I can start running.  That would be an outstanding success if I could do 2 miles 5 times a week.

But who am I kidding, I love drinking and smoking.  I just got to stop though.  That’s all there is to it.  Start running.

But i must win the lottery.  My standard for money is to what I want with who I want when I want to do it.  The lottery will give me that.  And It will feel good.  I feel good now just thinking about it.  You have a credit card to pay off the voices say.  That reminds me of a zero balance.  Great the voice says.  She’s in front of me a little to the right.  I must win the lottery I think to myself.  I must stop smoking cigarettes even more than I need to win the lottery, which is alot.  My book might sell, you never know, and that could give me the money I need.  I could get a record deal.  That could pay me.  I’m not ashamed of it either, I’m doing it for money.  And for love of the art.  To create. And be paid for it.   Professional.  I can still write 7 books and work a part time job.  I do need to pay off my credit card at least 400 dollars a month.  But I can keep the rest I make to live off of.  And I could write 7 books.  My life story.  2 decades.  I’d be happy with a 7 part series.  Leave my work behind.  I think life is worth what you make it.  I’ve just made mine worth millions of dollars.  At least that’s the goal.  I would like to make over 100 million dollars one way or the other.  That’s the goal.  Really I must win the lottery to realize that kind of money, because I just don’t know that there’s any other way for me to get that kind of money.  Could 7 books do it?  If they were massively successful, each book selling 20 million copies I probably could make over 100 million dollars selling books.  The experts will tell you I’m crazy, but I’m not.  I just see it the way I want to see it.  And i can, and I must win the lottery now.

I want to live that life now.  And write my books on the beach.  That would be the life… why wait until your books become successful when you can have it now?  Write books, play the lottery… you never know what could happen.  Especially if your actively focusing on winning the jackpot like I am.  I’m certain that one day it’s going to happen, and I’ll win an outstanding jackpot.  I was thinking about tonight’s drawing earlier today and I was thinking will I win tonight?  The answer I heard in my head was no, tonight was not the night.  Despite hearing that I wrote all this shit down.  You’re not even supposed to share until it happens, but it’s just part of my life, some people might even call me addicted to gambling.  But i’m not addicted, I’m in the process of winning the JACKPOT!  That’s just the way it goes.

But I love you and want to thank you for reading this.  And listening to me freestyle on the guitar.  Thank you and I love you, please leave a comment.

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