And work was good.  I worked a lot of hours for a schizophrenic but the voices weren’t bothering me much.  There are people out there that I imagine don’t like the things I write but that doesn’t bother me much either.  I write because it’s work and I love working.

It gives me something to do.  And if your lucky you get paid for it.  The best I’ve ever done was 18.50 an hour.  I got paid for playing a gig or two with my band but I never really made any money with music.

I tried though.  And I put my everything into it.

It just so happened that I got married and started a family.  And that changed me.

And changed me for the better.

I no longer cheat, steal, I try not to lie, and I’ve pretty much put away all of my sins.  I have a recognition of good and evil and want to think, speak, and act in whatsoever ways are good.  I want to give and give fully of myself.  To my family, to my friends, to my coworkers, to my customers, to the world.

And writing is work thank God.  It gives me something to do.  I think you can do it too.  And whatever you write is for your own highest good.  Plus you get to leave something behind.  A legacy.

My therapist would say that that wasn’t a big deal compared to being a father and playing a part in my children’s lives.  And he’s right. But I think I am more than capable of doing both.  Writing and being a father.  In fact, I’m doing it right now.  And this could lead to money, and wouldn’t that be amazing.

So I’m just going to keep cranking it out.  I’m going to keep writing.  Because others make it a profession and I want to do it too.  And I got nothing but time.  I only work 32 hours a week!  They are always letting me off early.

Don’t get me wrong.  They work me.  But that’s only really during the holidays.  The rest of the year is easy.

So I’ll write.  And make something of it.  I could make 2 million dollars between now and 2022 or I could just make a living writing.  Be able to quit my job in fact have to quit so I can do book tours and signings and things like that.  I want to be a best selling author and I only have a high school education.  I want to write for money.  I want to make money.  I want you to make money.  I want to do it with my brains.  I want to do it with my mind.  I want to do it with my heart.

But I still could win the lottery.  That IS a possibility.  I bought a ticket tonight with a box of wine and my powerball number, the last one at the end was 07.  The numbers looked good, the rest of them.  They looked like winners, like they could be winners, although they are probably not.  The winners look like numbers you don’t even expect.

But all I know is that I need to keep busy and I can do that by writing.  And the beauty is you can write about anything.  Just keep your mind free.  Write at will.

But by this time I’ve had several glasses of wine and I’m trying to quit cigarettes… I’m feeling good.  I want to keep writing because I know other people have made it writing and the only way I’m going to find out if I can make it writing is to write.  And I can’t forget to read too.  I have a new book, not one by Tony Robbins like I’ve been reading so much of, but one by another author.  It’s about spiritual growth in a time of anxiety.  It’s written by a therapist. He’s written 9 books so far.   I could probably learn a great deal from him.

I finished my book today.  It took me a year to write.  I took a break towards the end because I lost the enthusiasm because I didn’t think I would be able to publish it.  Too personal.  But I finished it and I want to read it to see what I wrote.  I want to publish it just to publish it. To see if someone would have me. I am a lucky guy.  I think they would.  You just have to put in the work.  You have to write.  And write well.  Write like it’s your profession.  Bleed on the keys.  That’s what I say.  You have to write until you can write no more and then write more.  You have to work 13 hour days, or more and then eat and sleep and take your days off to write.  That’s what I say, be a writer.

Something will come of this writing.  Or maybe it won’t.  All I know is that I love to write and I’m going to do it whether I get paid for it or not.  What i really know is that I really want to get paid for it.  So what do I have to do?  What do we have to do to get paid to write?  If you wanted to write for a living.

I say just write.  Write your life.  Write your experience.  Write what you want.  Write whatsoever is lovely.  I’m a schizophrenic and it’s great!  I can still work and the voices even help me at times.

They make me feel, the voices, like I’m living a different life at time.  Like I’m rich, famous, wealthy, living the life of my dreams.  It’s all in my head, but that’s probably just the lottery playing tricks on me, right?

Or is it real just in the making.  Is it going to happen and I’m going to be wealthy or am I just dreaming.

All I know is that I have to forge this life.  To make it happen for me and my family, friends, and the whole world.  I have to have a positive impact in this lifetime, and writing is for me.  If it’s for you too I say go for it… and write 2,000 words every night.

I’m only at 1000 right now and I don’t know how much longer I have left in me.  I have to work tomorrow and I’ve had a few glasses of wine.  Probably a poor excuse not to write 2000 words, but 1000 is still good and it’s still worth the read.  In fact most people would probably have already lost their attention at 700 words so really I’m going the extra mile here.

I’m working on writing.  I think it’s a worth while goal to get published.  Though I don’t know that I ever will be published.

What I do know is that I have an awesome 2 kids and wife and a very supportive family that is very generous and loving.  I am very fortunate.  Really, working this job, even without making money writing, I’ve got it made.  All I have to do is quit cigarettes and I won’t be spending more than I make and I can pay my credit card off to a zero balance.

But that’s not very sexy.  I want the sexy of making 2 million dollars in five years.  My friend asked me what business I was going to do that in.  I told him I would write.  He really didn’t have anything to say.  I imagine some people would say I could never make that kind of money writing and to them I say, we shall see.  We shall see.

But I’m going to take my ass to bed now.  I had my wine for the night, and I’ve finished my book, plus I’ve written on my blog.  I’m tired and I have work tomorrow.  It should be a good day though.  Everyday is a good day that your alive.  I love life.  Thank God for everyday.  And for all the blessings our lives are filled with.  Thank You, and Thank you, and thank you.

But I’m a schizophrenic and i hear voices as I’m writing this.  And clicking sounds in the house.  The schizophrenia is really a spiritual thing.  It lets me know when things are going good.

But I love you and Thank You for reading.  You are really special to me, each and every one of you.  You are my readers and without you I would be alone and who in their lives wants to be alone.  You want to do it with other people.  You want to be a part of a team.  You maybe even want to lead the team.  Hell Yeah!  Do it!  You are the best and you can do it!  That’s what I say.  Be the best.  Do it.  Make it happen.  Do it for your family.  Do it for yourself.  Do it for God.  Do it for other people.  Just do it.

These I say are only blog posts, but the next book I write will probably be a memoirs of someone who has quit cigarettes.  It will probably be about alot more than just quitting cigarettes but quitting cigarettes will have to be the central them for 2017.  And I can write a book in a year.

2 pages a day for a year.  That’s a book.  You can do it too.  I’m telling you there is limitless potential.  You can do anything.  But I’ll talk more on this subject once I’ve made it and made 2 million dollars.  Is my writing worth 2 million dollars?

If I could give you more value I think it could be worth 2 million dollars.  that’s the key, value.  I want to give you something.  Something I’ve learned that I can pass on.  And what I can tell you is when the voices tell you to call out of work, don’t listen to them, and go in anyways.  You’ll be happy you did.  Your doing something and that’s good.  Keep doing it, you’ve got bills to pay.  You’ve got marriages to pay for, you’ve got colleges to pay for, you’ve got your kids sports you’ve got to pay for, and not to mention Christmas every year.

But I am very lucky and I am sure that God has a plan for me and that I will live a good life.  Lottery or not, writing or not, I will work and change my life so I become a better person as I grow older.

Thank you for reading, I sure do appreciate you.  I wish you the best, that you win money, that you do what you love, that you and your family are healthy, that all good things come to you… but what does that matter… you tell me.  Give me some feed back, write a comment.  Get involved.

But it really doesn’t matter.  I’m going to keep on writing, like I’m getting paid to do it, and hope that I do get paid to do it at some point.  And some point in the near future.  Because I need a lot of money pronto.

So I keep writing.  Because writing is work, and work pays you money, and if I work at this long enough I could get paid.  Content is king and I have plenty of that.  I don’t know that anyone will want to read what I’ve written but it’s worth a shot and if I fail so what…. it doesn’t matter anyways.  I’m still getting a steady paycheck at my job.  How could the writing not work!  I do it in my free time!

But good nite.  I love you.  Sweet dreams and may all good things come to you.

Love, Jesse Creel.