That’s right, I lost my laptop.  It’s at least 3 years old and it just shut down on me yesterday when I was writing.  I was writing about the voices when Meg was in the room and it just shut off and would refuse to start again.

That would take my book out of commission.

Baby, you high the voices say.  And your drinking they say.  I feel kinda sick from the last cigarette I just smoked.  I’ve smoked 2 bowls since I’ve been home from work.  One while my mom was upstairs giving Cali a bath and one when Meg was putting Charlie to sleep.

I know you don’t know these characters yet but they will come into play often in the story of my life.  Which is this blog.  It’s fascinating and it’s amazing and I should get paid to do it.  And so should you if writing a blog is what you want to do.  I encourage you.

And yes I’m a schizophrenic and I hear voices and I write about them.  I hear them right now.  They say nopin.  I guess their not in the mood to share.  We are they say.

I had a third of the book done and now it’s lost.  I wanted to get something out there that you could read and be inspired and entertained and moved.

I’m feeling better now and I think I’ll have a sip of wine.  there, now I feel better.  This blog is full of grammatical errors and I’m sorry for that.  It’s not very professional and I’m very sorry for that.

The voices tell me that on may 29th I will win the lottery.  I believe them.  I want to believe them, so I do believe them.  I will win 100 million dollars on May 29th.

My tooth fell out today.  It’s an implant where they did bone grafting.  It shouldn’t be hard to get the tooth back on there.  I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.

I don’t even know why I believe winning the jackpot is going to happen when I don’t even know that it’s going to happen.

I think about the blog and the voices say it’s bad.  They say I’ll regret posting on here.  I don’t think so.  It’s an expression of the God force my writing and I like it that way.  I am eternal, infinite, immortal, and what I am is beautiful.  And I’m poised for the next step.  The next step in manifesting more money into my life.  This blog could generate traffic, or should I say , will generate traffic and I will be able to collect a following of people I can sell things to.  I t will be awesome.  I’m really looking forward to having people who read and love my writing.

I sneeze, the voices say I shouldn’t write this stuff.  That I shouldn’t write what I just wrote.  But I love you and I hope you love me too.  Because that’s what the world needs, more peace and love.

The devil the voices say. The devil what I ask, knows everything the voices say.

May 28th is your freedom day the voices say.  What if I won 100 million dollars on that day…  That would be amazing.  I would buy a house, a few cars, give to the church, take a few vacations, buy my wife a new wedding ring, and do a bunch of other cool stuff with the money like Yoga classes.

Maybe the schizophrenia will pay me.  It does the voices say.

I just smoked my third bowl of the evening and I’m feeling good except for the hiccups.  That’s what the neighbors voices say in my head, that I’m feeling good.

the wine is good and I’d like to get some more but I’d have to have a 30 dollar day tomorrow to make that happen and I haven’t had one of those in a while.  I guess I’ll just have to do without the wine for now.  I have 100 dollars in my checking account and I wanted to save that for Preakness which is coming up this Saturday.  My work gave me free tickets and a parking pass.  The house cracks.

I should look up the horses that are running on Preakness so I can bet.  I’d go with the favorite and just ride it out.

But really, I’m at 700 words in this blog post and it should really be going in the book.  It sucks that my laptop won’t work now. I had a third of a book written!

That’s the thing about the blog.  It’s on the internet so you can get to it from any computer.  And it’s there forever.  Go rasta, it makes me cough.  Money and lots of it, love from family and friends, donations.  It goes on forever.  Network Marketing.

Which my wife doesn’t want me to get back into because of the cost.  If I were a lottery jackpot winner I could do it no problem.  It’s only 200 bucks a month.  And it can pay you 3000 dollars cash.  At least that’s if your part of the masters club, which cost s 3500 dollars.  But you can resell that and make money.  You just have to have traffic or an ad budget.  I can show you either.  I’m a member of the Empower Network and some people will call it a scam, but I learned a lot about marketing from the videos and doing the work they tell you to do.  Listen to the audios and so on.

But I lost my book.  Sucks because I wanted to finish it so I could market it on this site.  The Brightside is I have this site… a place to write, to generate traffic to interact with the world.  A beautiful place full of lovely things.  You tell me what lovely things you would like to fill my universe with.  Write me.  I drink probably too much and I smoke cigarettes about a half a pack a day and smoke pot but I still think I can help you.  I’m pretty mellowed out right now and I’m feeling pretty groovy.  I hope  you have as good of a night as I’m going to have.

Good nite for now.

Jesse Creel