And the answer is to drink and smoke and hate working until your in such a bad place that you will take advice from your younger brother and take a job with him.

And if your lucky like me, you’ll advance, even though your drinking and smoking in your free time, because it’s easier on the voices.

And I love working.  It pays me.  I love it also because I like my bosses.  They are sweet.  They have the sugar.  And their women.  So it’s easier for me to get along with them.

I’ve always gotten along better with the opposite sex.  There’s no alpha male drama just the mother taking care of her children.

But I really could be more of a man and make something of this blog.  I could be a better man if I could take my yearly income and make it my monthly income.  Then I would really have a start.  I would of course pay taxes, as every man has to, but I would be rolling in the doe.

That is of course if I don’t first hit the lottery.  I’m playing for this Mega Millions $36,000,000 jackpot.

It’s a small one, but I think that might make it even better.  I have found that the people who win more than one jackpot win smaller amounts.  They don’t take away a billion dollar jackpot.  But really if you play it right, you only have to win once to make a life for yourself.

But I can do it.  I know I can.  You find out on this blog how I do it.  I’m going to win the jackpot, or I’m going to eat my words.  But I would rather apologize for being wrong then to never go for it.  And you never know, this could be the best story on the news for a while.

Man writes on a blog about winning the jackpot, man wins the jackpot, man writes blog, man writes ebook, man starts internet business with the winnings, man makes a life for himself.  It would be beautiful.

And it all starts here.  At this blog.  I write, I work, I drink, I smoke, I raise a family, I am a husband, I’m a salesman, I’m a schizophrenic, and I could change my life right now if I wanted to.  But I’m hooked.  I’m hooked on the lottery, drinking and smoking.

I’ll probably never win the jackpot.  That’s just a reality.  But I don’t face that reality.  I dream.  And I dream big.  I could win not just one, but several jackpots in my lifetime.  I could be a youtube star.  I could be famous.

Then again, this probably will never work.  I probably will never win not even one jackpot.  I keep holding out hope for it though.  I know that if I win my life will be a lot better, so I hold out hope.

I keep hoping I win, I keep hoping I win.

Like Jesus said to do, whatsoever you ask for in prayer, in believing you shall receive it.

So I believe I already have the jackpot win.

I believe that I am already a multi millionaire overnight.

Not that it happened overnight.  It took years.  But it happened seemingly overnight and for that I’m thankful.

I’m thankful for that because it finally happened.  I’m finally a multimillionaire.

I’m grateful.  I’m pleased.  I’m thankful to the universe.

I hope I win.

This is probably a good joke for a comedian.  At least I can fulfill a role in society by being the butt of a joke.  That is only of course if I don’t win.

If I DO WIN, there will be an instructional ebook on how to win one of the big games with your mind.  At this point I don’t know if I would charge for that kind of information.  I could say that I want to be a public service and give it away for free, or I could say that it’s too valuable an there has to be a price tag.

Either way I would write the book.  And borrow liberally from the past 10 years journals.  One of my therapists voices in my head told me if she ever read my journal that she would think I had a problem with the lottery.

I probably do have a problem with the lottery.  But that doesn’t stop me from thinking I’ll win.

The voices say my name and tell me no.  I don’t know what to think.

I think I’m going to win the jackpot.  Just wait and see.  It’s going to happen.  Then I’ll be famous and so will this website, and we’ll make merry of it.

That’s all I think is going to happen.

And I’ll get a free ebook for my list and start getting a list together, and then sell network marketing.  It will be beautiful.  If that’s what I do end up doing.

Because I might not sell network marketing to my list, I might sell ebooks and rock and roll albums.

I just recorded a rock and roll poem with no guitar.  Just me singing it.  The words.  It was beautiful.  It was about winning 36 million dollars.  Just a small jackpot, but something to live off so you could start a business.

And start a business I would.  I would buy traffic for this site.  Get people reading my work.  Get them to a landing page where I could get their email addresses.  Make money doing that!

What do you think, a blogger, an ad man, a business man, getting paid for selling e books.  And rock and roll albums.  And maybe end up getting a record deal.  There’s more than one way to become a multimillionaire.  The lottery, yes.  But there are other things too.

But I’ve probably waited too long to get going, I’m probably going to land flat on my face.  On the other side of the coin the only option is success and you’ve got to have it so… what’s going to happen?

I say the best possible outcome will come with diligent hard work everyday.  Getting the hours in at work, and then coming home and getting a couple hours in on the blog.  That be my way of life.

And there’s more to it than just work and blogging.  There is also family life.  Very important to overall well being.  A healthy family.

I love my family.  They are the best.

And the schizophrenia makes me a better dad.  It helps me guide my family to the path that I think is right.

But i could be better if I didn’t drink and smoke.  I could lead my family better.

But I must write.  That is what I must do.  I know this could lead me places, and my family places.  I just have to commit to writing everyday and see what comes of it.  I’m looking for a 6 or 7 figure income.

So how does a schizophrenic like me go from a $20,000 a year job to a $240,000 a year income from writing a blog?

I’ll let you know all about it on this blog, just check back for the new posts.

And the voices tell me I’m too high to make that kind of money.  I say I just have to work harder than the average person to make that kind of money.

So that’s what I’m going to do.  I’m just going to work harder.

And you won’t find a lot of quotes in my stuff.  It’s straight from my own heart.  In a way you could look at it as fiction.  My own personal dream world.  But I also say you could stand to learn a lot from me.

You could learn how to live even when your being told to die and you feel like your dying.  You could live to the next day and get better.  You might still be told to die, but that happens everyday, and it’s nothing your not used to hearing.

I guess that’s all for me today.  I hope you have a good time.

Jesse Creel