JesseCreel.com

For Self Improvement Since 2016

Tag: Blogging (Page 1 of 4)

A Pause From My New Book, Reflections, And A Poem

I’ve started a new book.  It’s called “Love, Sex, Marriage, Babies, and Schizophrenia”.  It’s no coincidence that those things all happened in that order.

I started it yesterday, and I’m going to write like I have the fury in me, over the course of the next few weeks.  I’ll be drinking and writing, and having the time of my life.

I just wanted to write this for you to let you know I’ve been doing something.  I haven’t really been paying much attention to this blog, and it’s a disservice to you and me.  That’s why I wanted to come to you to write today to let you know what’s happening with Jesse Creel.

A lot of what’s been covered on my blog has been about employment and working even though you have schizophrenia.  Although I will always be writing about what it’s like to have schizophrenia, I may not continue to write about work.  Not for someone else at any rate.  I like to think of myself as a businessman, and I’m in business for myself.

In all reality though, I am a worker.  That’s what allows me to try and start a business.  If I couldn’t pay what I needed to pay, this blog, my book, my rock and roll songs, wouldn’t be possible.  The point though is to work my way out of working, and live an abundant and joyful life with my family.

I’ve been trying for many months to make a business out of this blog and I’m not getting the results I’m looking for.  I’ve been reading and trying to refine my idea so that I can see “Will It Fly”.  I might take the focus off working an hourly job, because you know that working an hourly job isn’t as good as barely working and having stacks of cash.  I think I may take a try at writing for entertainment purposes only, instead of self help.  See what kinds of results I can get when I’m writing about say for instance, marriage or sex.

All I know is that I have to keep the action going.  I’ve been visualizing, but the zest really comes from the action of writing, so I’ve got to keep it going there.

The reflections are that work is work, and really, I’d rather be doing something else.  I’d rather be writing.

I’ve written about my expectation of winning a massive jackpot, and my new and further expectation is that my new book will be a New York Times Bestseller.  I talk a big game, and I don’t know anything else to do but die or do it and I’m still alive.  So I must be doing it.  I just say one should dream big.

So I’m going to keep this blog, and I’m going to keep my email list, and if you haven’t yet signed up for it, do that now.

I don’t know when the next post is going to be, but I want you to know that this won’t be the last time I write you.  I’m keeping you in mind, and I want to help, if only just to entertain you.

So I leave you with a poem I’m writing just right now…

Ode To Work

Oh work, how you make me live

Oh work, how you allow me to give

Oh work, you give me my money

Oh work, I think of you even when your not there

 

Oh boss, I love you

Oh boss, You’ve given me a chance

Oh boss, I want to do right by you

Oh boss, thank you for a job

 

Oh worker, do your job

Oh worker, I respect you

Oh worker, would you like a cigarette

Oh worker, will you come back next year

 

Oh job, I’m going to retire you

Oh job, I’m going to be a millionaire

Oh job, thank you for all you’ve done for me

Oh job, I’ll be back as a customer because I’m NOT burning this bridge

 

 

Thanks for reading, I really love you for doing that.

Please do sign up for my email list, you be doing you and me both a favor.

Take Care,

Jesse Creel

Work Produces Income, Therefore I Speak About Work

This post will be about the last two days I was at work in the store.  I wasn’t performing sales operations.  I did what needed to be done for the company.  This post is simply to inspire you to know schizophrenics can work.  Although I’m not like schizophrenics you may see on YouTube, I do hear voices everyday, and they tell me anything from the bad to the good.  I influence what their talking about with my thoughts and actions.  I’ve learned to cope with the voices that tell me to die, and am making some changes in my life that I think will really benefit me in the future.  I think we as workers in the USA or anywhere need to take a minute to acknowledge that by working we ARE really heros.  We are supporting our families, contributing to society, and if your anything like me, giving to help the less fortunate.  That’s part of the reason I keep this blog, and that purpose is to serve schizophrenics valuable knowledge they can take action on.  If you like what you read, consider subscribing to my email list, you’ll even get a free ebook.

Day 1 Speaking About Work

They had me take the day off sales calls because the company truck needed to be picked up.  It had just been worked on to fix the refrigeration in the back and something to do with a brake line.  We tried to pick the truck up earlier in the week but it wasn’t ready yet, the part hadn’t come in.

First thing in the morning I go with a coworker, him driving, to the truck yard.  We talked about him getting a better paying job, and a new opportunity he had to do something exciting.  I talked about my blog, and shared with him what I was doing online.  We talked about learning finances even when we didn’t have the money to invest.  It doesn’t go without saying that I write for schizophrenics, so when I told him I had a book called “Schizophrenic Sales Success” I didn’t know what he would think about it.  It didn’t occur to me to ask him to join my list, as I have with another one of the people I know.  We got to the truck yard.

The guys weren’t there yet, and we pulled up on the owner who was about to open up the gate.  I thought I was meeting with the guy I’m used to dealing with, but this was the owner of the yard.  He said we could “absolutely” park our car in the yard while we figured this whole thing out.  I didn’t know if we could take the truck until the guys showed up at 10am, which was about 10 minutes away.

Turns out the keys were in it, and the owner, seeing as the account was already settled, just let us take off.  I like dealing with the business owners, those are the people I like dealing with, not that I don’t like talking to receptionists. At any rate, I was back to the store in a half hour.

Originally I was under the assumption that someone would be going with me to help me move the 60 cases of water I was going to pick up.  When I finished picking the truck up and got back to the store they told me I was flying solo for this trip.

So off I went.  I went to the store, picked up the 60 cases of water, and drove to the 2 other stores and then back to my home store.  I dropped off 20 cases of water to each store.  I really didn’t even mind doing it on my own, it just takes a little longer.

And I’m in for the long haul, everyday.  That’s part of my philosophy.  In my sales capacity I want to build long term relationships, where they order every year.  This day though, was about driving, and then after I lifted 60 cases of water worked with the meat at the store doing sandwich portions.  It took from from about 10am to 2pm to deliver the water.  I got off around 4 so it really wasn’t too bad, I got in at 9.  I got some hours!  And that’s what I need to exist right now.

Really I could use a lot more, but my job is a blessing.  There’s a lot I can build on as evidence in this blog.  This was day 1.

Day 2 Speaking About Work

Friday is TryDay Friday at my work.  Recently they started doing free samples, a summer thing, every Friday.  For a while we were sampling ribs, but now we’ve moved on to our meats, cheeses, and cookies.  It’s my job on Friday to host the TryDay Friday.

It’s really pretty easy.  First thing I do some house maintenance, and help out my coworkers.  I chat with them.  I go to the bank for my boss.  I come back from the bank and start the session.

It’s 3 hours long and today it was eased by my blog, which I reread and thought about.  I reread Success Hourly and it made me think that I really need to wrap my head around not smoking.

That’s what writing does for you, it helps you get your life together.  At any rate, I did the TryDay Friday and talked to some nice people, and that’s my job.  I’m giving away free product, and people love that.  Sure, some won’t take it, but some take even more than they should.  It all evens out.  And they buy!

We sold a good amount of sandwiches considering it was raining heavily for some of the day.  Really it was a slow day.  That’s our summertime.  It’s time for sales work, and generating more business.  The store doesn’t do much. It’s the holidays that’s the reason my company is in business.  It’s 50 hour weeks, 7 days straight.  But it’s okay, because the rest of the year is easy, and it’s a fun job with good people.  Granted we don’t make much.

I’ve read that high paid salespeople and CEO’s can be the most miserable people.  It’s the poor who are just happy to be alive and take great joy in living.  I don’t believe it for a second.  I think that you simply have more choices when your rich.  Really compared to alot of the world, I have alot of choices, and I’m poor compared to a wealthy American.  I set aside the time I’m spending now to live that life.  Of making it.  Granted I have a lot of help.

I am impossible at staying focused at this point, but I was speaking about my Day 2 at work, and I did the TryDay Friday.  Afterwards it was just working with the team until there were only 2 of us, and we closed it down at 6.

I got there at 10, left at 6, did 8 hours.  And it was fun, it felt good, I like working with the people I’m working with, there’s growth opportunities, I get the best jobs which is driving and I love driving.  I can really zone out and getting paid to do it is great!  I also like working in the store as I did on this day, with coworkers, some of which I would also consider friends.

So I like producing an income, and working those hours, whether I’m selling or I’m working in the store, is giving me that income.  And I’m a schizophrenic.  I can tell you that talking to people helps to relieve the schizophrenia.  Instead of imagined voices I hear their REAL voices and it’s a relief that someone doesn’t know what’s going on inside of my head.

Ending Speaking About Work

 

The end is that there will be another post about work, because it’s never ending.  With continued work is continued opportunity to improve and become MORE of a success.  I hope my work inspires you to work yourself, and if you like it and would like my free ebook “Schizophrenic Sales Success”  get on my email list, and you’ll get the book and updates to this blog.  This is a win win.

To Your Success,

Jesse Creel

Good Morning Schizophrenia

It’s 8am on Sunday morning, July 2nd.  In my sleep I don’t hear voices.  It’s the only time I get a break.  When I wake up music is going through my head and the voices start talking to me.  I don’t believe anything they tell me anymore.

They tell me I’m going to win the lottery, they tell me I’m going to die at an early age in a lot of pain, they tell me I’m going to get murdered, they tell me to cheat on my wife, they tell me to smoke and not to smoke, they tell me I’m going to get Cancer, they tell me to sell, they tell me to work with my hands instead of selling, it’s a rollercoaster ride.

I talk to them.  That’s how I deal with it.  I have an inner dialogue with the voices.  I tell them what I think of them.  I tell them I’m faithful, healthy, that I’m going to quit smoking, that I’m going to be a success on this blog, that I’m going to quit playing the lottery, and that I’m going to work.  It’s a hell ride keeping up with the voices because they always seem to be reading my doubts about myself, and they are fast at speaking.  I am constantly managing them and it’s exhausting.  The silver lining, and there always is one, is that the schizophrenia makes me stronger.  It makes me know what I want and what I do not want, and then it’s up to me to take the actions necessary to move me closer to those things that I do want.

If you have a mild case of schizophrenia as I do, my suggestion would be to work hourly with your hands, at a place where your bosses like you.  If your like me your bosses voices will get in your head and they will be positive telling you things like “work” and “be good”.  My bosses want me at work, and that is a blessing.  I have had a lot of jobs where I felt like I wasn’t wanted there, and it depressed me.  The schizophrenia only added to those feelings, and I became overwhelmed.  If you want to work, you must find a place where you feel like you can fit in.  If I can do it, you can do it too.

If you can work, you have the cornerstone of success to build on.  I am a leading learner, and I’m here to teach you that you can work, and then you can come home and work harder on yourself than you do at your job.  For me, working on myself means I read, journal, do affirmations, work on this blog, exercise by walking, doing pushups, crunches, squats, listen to helpful podcasts that are going to help me succeed online, visualization, love my family everyday, and other things that are set up to make my life as productive and as helpful to other people as possible.  I set up a to-do list and put it inside of a frame and hung it above my dresser so I can see it every morning.  So far it has helped me stay focused on systems that are going to move me in a positive direction in life.

I read in “Tools of Titans” two things from two different people.  The first one said that there is a difference between dreams and goals.  Dreams you can’t really do anything about, but goals you can take action and move towards.  I thought that was good advice.  Then came the second piece of advice.  It said that “losers have goals, winners have systems”.  That at first seemed like conflicting advice to me, especially because I liked the idea of having goals instead of dreams, so that I could set up my life to work on success like I want.  Later, it occurred to me that it really wasn’t contradictory, that the second piece of advice was just building on the first.  Goals you can work towards, but when you have systems in place (like reading for a half hour a day, and blogging everyday) you will move towards creating the life you want to make for yourself.  It’s not about the goal.  It’s about setting your actions up so that each day you are building something of value.  So my to-do list as mentioned above is set up to create those systems in my everyday life.  I am becoming more productive, and I am growing. As a mild schizophrenic, simply having those systems in place, and taking action on them everyday is an accomplishment.  The results don’t matter.  What matters is that I’m taking the right actions!

So I’ll leave you with the recommendation to work hourly, and grow yourself and know yourself with a blog.  Do your best each day to serve others and do it for the sake of being good, without expectation of a reward.  Serve simply to be of service.  I know being useful to others makes me feel good, and it feels like it’s the right thing to do with my time on earth.

Thanks for reading, make sure you subscribe to my list to get updates on this blog, and have a great day!

Jesse Creel

 

40 Ways For A Schizophrenic To Get And Hold A Job

Hello internet world.  This is Jesse Creel and I’m writing to you today to let you know I care.  I want to help.  So if your a schizophrenic who wants to work, I figured these tips might help you on your way.  Drink deeply of them, and soak it up.  I’ve been working for 2 years now at the same job and I’ve been a schizophrenic the entire time.  I had a really hard time at first when things first went haywire.  Now I’m back to working, and I’m happy to be paying taxes and contributing to society.  The same can be with you.  If your a schizophrenic and want to work, then this is for you.  I hope you gain some insight from this post, and can put one or two things to work in your life and that you benefit from reading this post.  Here’s to your success even though you hear voices!

  1. Love Your Job- Even if you hate working, love your work.  It will take discipline to do this, but it will be well worth it, and you may even get promoted for doing such a good job.  Not only should you love the hands on work you do, you should also love your customers.  Put love into your work with the product, and love your customers for paying your check to you.  Love your job, even if it’s a conscious choice.
  2. Do Something You Can Love-  Yes again, it’s all about the love.  If you can’t stand working a cash register then get a job where you get to work more with your hands.  I’ve found, as a schizophrenic, it really helps to have hands on work.  The voices can’t chase away your work ethic, so if you can be a hard worker everyday, there’s a good chance you’ll be able to get and hold a job.  That would be a good thing for all things that are right in the world.  At least until you win that lottery drawing.
  3. Find Reasons To Work-  Maybe you’ve applied for disability and it’s taking too long.  Maybe you have a family and need the money to support them.  Maybe you just need to pay your bills so you don’t have to rely on your family to support you, and you can be free of being a burden to them… at least partly depending on how much money you make.  Find many, many, many, many reasons to work.  Money can definitely be a motivator so use that motivation to get you out of bed in the morning and get into work.  Use that motivation to swallow your pride and take a job that you think maybe is beneath you.  You may find that it’s the perfect fit and they want to give you everything you want in a job.
  4. Work With A Family Member-  For me, working with my younger brother really helped me.  He got me my current job, the one I’ve had for the past 2 years.  He has since moved on, but I count the times I worked with him as precious, even though he was an incredible pain to me.  For me, working with my younger brother required that I swallow my pride and take HIS advice.  That was very difficult for me, but it landed me the second best job I’ve ever had.  Where I CAN do the job, and my bosses like me.  If you can get a job with a brother, sister, parent, cousin, anyone, you may find the opportunity your looking for.  Take their advice, snap out of your delusions about money just coming to you, and take action and work!  You can have all the dreams you want as long as your working and contributing something.  That’s the way I look at it and I’m a schizophrenic who makes a living working a job!
  5. Love Your Bosses-  Again, and I can’t say it enough, you gotta put love into it.  Everything will turn out better.  So love your bosses too.  That may or may not be difficult, but it will result in a better relationship with your company.  If you love your bosses, you will do everything you need to do, in your power, to make their lives easier.  And if their life is easier because of what you do, then you’re going to have a good time about it.  They most likely will be kind to you, and treat you with respect for your wishes.  They will make you work, but your getting paid anyways, so you might as well do the job the best you can do it.  So love your bosses, do your work with love, and collect your paycheck.  If you keep it up, chances are those paychecks are going to be getting bigger.
  6. Don’t Complain-  Once you’ve gotten your job, you’re going to have to work.  So there’s no sense in complaining about it.  You have to work, and there’s going to be pains you experience as a result, but why fuss?   Your getting paid, and your contributing, so you might as well suck it up and do what they ask you to do, without reservation.  If you don’t complain when your bosses ask you to do things that the average employee would complain about you’ll get brownie points, and that could lead to a raise.  So don’t complain, and reap the rewards!
  7. Sleep Enough-  Work and the voices will wear you down.  Make sure you get plenty of rest.  You work hard, and you have a hand in life that you MUST play.  Make the most of it.  Don’t get me wrong, you shouldn’t sleep so much you don’t get anything done in your personal life, but make sure you’re sleeping enough so that your not miserable at your job.  Part of my success I attribute to getting enough sleep at night.  So sleep enough, and get your rest, you deserve it as a schizophrenic who works.
  8. Make Work A Priority-  Yes, work should be a priority.  Again, you have to come up with reasons to work if you want to do it.  For me it’s my family, and it’s living a better life than just sitting on the couch and being a house cat.  You are going to be of more value if your working while you work on these crazy dreams of yours that are going to make you rich someday.  So find the motivation to work, and make working a priority, above all other things you have to do that day.  Unless of course your family needs you.  Family first, that’s what I say… but for me my children are taken care of during the day, everyday, so I have nothing better to do than work.  Make work a priority, and reap the rewards!
  9. Please Your Boss’s Voice That’s In Your Head-  As a schizophrenic, hearing voices, you may hear your boss’s voice in your head.  For me, it’s been a blessing, because she tells me things that are going to benefit me, for instance that I should “work!”.  To be honest I have heard once or twice that my boss is sick and tired of me, but that doesn’t bother me, because I am not sick or tired of her.  I just want to make her life easier, we all have to live with each other, and sometimes we want somebody to leave when they’re doing things we don’t like.  Sometimes I smoke too many cigarettes and the people I work with seem to know how I feel, and it’s not good and they don’t like it.  What I recommend you do, is talk to your voices, give them your point of view, and do it with love.  Try to make your head a better place to live in for the voices, especially for your bosses voice.  If you ever get enough money to quit, then you’ll have other voices that you’ll have to live with.  At any rate, as a successful schizophrenic, I believe we have to be civil with our voices, so that means no fighting.  Just go with it, make the best of it, put your filters in place (meaning don’t let the voices make you think what they say is reality), and do the best you can.  Take care of your boss, and your boss’s voice, and be happy you have a job!
  10. Shower Everyday-  Hygiene is important.  You want to be a clean schizophrenic.  It helps you be more normal.  You CAN take a shower everyday, there is nothing stopping you from doing that.  And you’ll be a better, cleaner person because of it.  You don’t want to go without showering.  Don’t let yourself go.  Take control, and promote cleanliness.
  11. Pray For Jobs You Can Do-  When I first started I prayed, and thanked God that I had a job I COULD do.  I was very happy that I could do SOME things around the store that would contribute to it’s running smoothly and growing.  I would not count out the power of prayer to help you in your life.  So ask God to help you, and you never know, he just might!
  12. Do Your Job With Confidence-  If something needs to get done, be the man or woman who CAN do it!  You don’t need to know any more to get the job done, you just need to have the confidence that you can serve and do the job well.  You’ll figure out the rest as you go along.  And each day you will get better.  The more time you have in, the better, more seasoned you will be.  And that will lead to even more confidence in your ability to do the job.  Do the job with confidence, and be a better leader.
  13. Treat Each Day Like It’s Going To Be A Good Experience-  My boss said to someone else, I overheard the conversation, that all the hours and the people over the holidays would be a good experience for them.  I heard that and took it to heart.  All the hours during the holidays were going to be good for me, and each day I work, even when it’s not the holiday, are going to be good experiences for me.  I recommend you look at it the same way.  Each day is going to be a good experience for you.  Even if you hear voices, it’s not all bad, and you can still do your job, so it IS a good experience, your getting paid!
  14. Ask Yourself The Question, How Do I Improve?-  This is the basis for what I believe has led me to several promotions.  I am always asking myself “How do I improve?”.  And I get answers from my voices.  A lot of the time it’s helpful and I just do my job better.  Think of what you could do for your own life if you were constantly asking yourself how you could improve.  Give it a try for a week and see what happens.  Keep it up and you may be surprised at the positive experience you have.
  15. Swallow Your Pride And Take Advice-  This one has already been touched on but it’s important and bears repeating.  If your hard headed like me, you won’t want to work for your money, and you’ll try to do things that would land you on easy street for no work at all.  I’ve been there, and it took a serious attitude adjustment to do what I do now.  And that attitude adjustment wouldn’t have come without me sucking it up and taking advice from my younger brother.  He told me to work, not to hate it, to act like I liked my life, and to stop playing the lottery.  I’ve done it all, except for the lottery, I still play that.  But I’m working and that’s a big step up for me.  As it could be for you as well.  Keep trying, and take advice, even if it means you may not be the miracle making lottery winner just yet.  You can do it!  You can work!
  16. Exercise Plenty-  For me, this means walking 2 to 3 miles a day.  I also do yoga, and crunches, and some pushups, and I stretch.  Exercise will do you good.  It’s one of those physical things that the voices can’t control.  You CAN exercise and become stronger.  You can do it even if you hear voices.  It will help you work your job, and you’ll be healthier.  So exercise!  It’s good for you.
  17. Drink A Lot Of Water And Eat Healthy-  This is common sense, but it’s still important.  You want to be mindful of what your putting into your body.  It could make you or break you.  Water is the giver of life, and we are made up of mostly fluid as human beings, so we had better be refreshing ourselves each day.  Eat well along with drinking plenty of water and you’ll feel good and be better prepared to deal with the voices and the work you have to do to contribute to your family and to society.
  18. Take Your Medication Everyday-  This is so important it can’t be overstated.  You have to stay on your medication if you want to be stable.  Don’t play with doses, don’t skip days.  Take it religiously, everyday, and do your self a favor and control your hallucinations.  Take your medication everyday, that is all.
  19. See A Therapist On A Regular Basis-  For me, therapy has helped me work.  My therapist helps me to discern reality just a bit more clearly, and he gives me insight as to how a smart human being would look at my life.  I’m not doing that bad.  I just have to keep working.  And seeing my therapist once a month helps me to stay on track and making my life better each day.  I highly recommend talk therapy for schizophrenics as mandatory, to help you out with the false beliefs that can be caused by the voices.
  20. Give Money To Family And Charity, And Pay Your Bills-  You can do this now that your working!  Help yourself out by helping your family out, and don’t forget about the poor people out there once you’ve made a steady income.  They need you.  Pay your bills, or do the best you can do, and get out of debt.  Do everything you can do each day to get your butt into work so that you can do these things, and make a difference in the lives of those you love most, and in the lives of perfect strangers.  What goes around comes around.  So be good, and do good.  You’ll be happy you did.
  21. Pay Taxes-  It’s better than being on disability.  You not relying on the government to do your work for you.  It’s better for society IF you can work.  Not discouraging anyone from being on disability.  If you need that then there’s a reason it’s there.  But IF you CAN work, I say it’s better that you do.  That’s just this schizophrenic.  You can support all the things that your taxes pay for, like schools, firefighters, and police.  Not to mention the military.  If you are working your helping to support our hero’s, and that’s a good thing if you ask me.  I’m a working schizophrenic, and my view matters.  Work, and pay taxes.  You’ll be happy you did.  God help us all.
  22. Have Something You Can Work On In Your Free Time-  Yes, you want to work, and you want to contribute, but as Jim Rohn put it “Work harder on yourself than you do at your job” so you want to put some work in, in your free time.  There are endless ways you could do this, for me it’s blogging and writing e books.  For me, that’s the best way I can do it in my free time.  Besides, I really love doing it.  So pick something you can love, maybe it’s reading, and do that thing when your not working or taking care of your family.  Work it, and work it good.  Even better than you do at your job.  Because you CAN get and hold a job, and work it there.  Then you can come home and work it even harder on yourself!  Do something with your free time because your not wholly someone else’s slave.  You are a person with a passion, and you can unleash that passion onto the world.  See what happens, learn as you go along, course correct… work on something in your free time.
  23. Do What Your Told To Do-  Without complaining.  Said it before, say it again.  Make your boss’s job easier.  Just do what your told to do.
  24. Be Open To New Opportunity-  This is geared towards those folks who don’t yet have a job, or are not where they want to be.  Give yourself the opportunity to go somewhere, maybe with a family member, and submit to an hourly position.  You’re a schizophrenic and high paying commission sales jobs haven’t worked out.  You need to work with your hands and leave the people alone.  You are screwed up.  You need to work with your body.  This is just your hand in life.  Hopefully the blessing is that you work well with your hands.  So taking another hourly job, starting from the bottom again, is the right thing to do.  So be open to new opportunity, and maybe work with a family member.
  25. W0rk On Being Better Each Day-  This goes along with asking yourself the question… “how do I improve?”.  Work on being a little better today than you were yesterday.  Stay on a steady progression upwards, just like the stock market does over the long term.  Things grow, that’s just the nature of it.  So if the country is growing, you should be too… and you can help contribute to that growth.  By working.  And if you work on getting better each day you MUST ALSO increase your chances of getting a raise.  I really think it could be done at McDonald’s or anywhere else.  Being a good employee and getting raises over time.  EVEN IF your a schizophrenic.  Work on getting better each and every day, day in day out… and those improvements that you make little by little, will add up to big change in your life.
  26. Stay Close To Your Family And Listen To Them-  My family pulled us through when I was thinking of divorce.  The voices were just so crazy.  If it wasn’t for my family, professional help, and medication, I wouldn’t be working where I’m working today, or married, with 2 beautiful kids.  My parents really helped me out.  I’m in debt to them.  I owe them.  And I’m working my way to paying them all back.  My credit card, my parents… at one point I was thinking of going homeless.  My parents kept me sheltered. For a schizophrenic not having to worry about anything is a relief.  And if it weren’t for my brother I wouldn’t have my job, so not only am I indebted to my parents, I’m also indebted to my brother.  In my experience, if you lean on your family, they will get you through tough times.  I do not recommend chronically leaning on them.  The idea is to become independent of the family.  To make enough money to even SUPPORT a family.  But I say if your a schizophrenic and you can make over $1,000 a month, and you can give your family some money… you ARE doing something.  And giving back wouldn’t have been possible without the people you are giving it to.  Stay close to your family and listen to them.  Family is important for schizophrenics, or anyone for that matter.
  27. Calmly Fulfill Your Responsibilities-  Those days where I feel like I’m dying probably because of too many cigarettes, and the voices are telling me to die, and that I’m dying, and what I do is simply work.  If you can work when you feel like your dying, for the good of all concerned, you are certainly doing something.  It CAN BE a good experience.  Calmly fulfill your responsibilities and you will be a lady or a gentleman.  It won’t matter that you have schizophrenia and hear voices everyday.  No one can tell.  No one cares.  You do your job well.  You are weird, don’t lie to yourself, but that doesn’t mean you can do a hands on job very well.  Even if the voices are telling you to die, you can go into work and do the job, and everything will be fine.  You’re not going to die, it’s only a hallucination, and you can improve.  Instead of imagining yourself dying when the voices tell you to die, imagine how you can improve your life.  See what kind of results you get.
  28. Think Of Your Family As You Make Your Hourly Pay-  If you don’t have a wife and kids, maybe think of your parents, or who ever supported you when you were at your lowest.  Work and think of them that your doing your best for them and that will make you feel good.  It will make you feel useful.  What better a thing can a man or woman be?  Serve, because you were served and even if you were a multimillionaire, you may never be able to repay what has been given to you.  You sure could do something though.  Something good.  But seeing as you have to work an hourly job, and are not yet a multimillionaire, think of your family as you make your hourly pay, and know your doing the right thing.
  29. Breathe!- Don’t forget to breathe.  It can really get you through the other side of the pain.  You can come out alive by breathing.  Can’t say it enough… breathe!
  30. Don’t Let Your Disability Define You-  Sure you may be a schizophrenic, but all that means is you hear voices everyday.  That doesn’t make you, you.  What you do, your actions, your work, the present defines you.  This may sound a little crazy as your reading about a schizophrenic, but looking only at the disease is not getting the whole picture.  You can also be a family man or woman, a musician, a writer, a poet, a worker, a salesperson, a marketer, a closer, a leader, the list can be endless.
  31. TELL Your Bosses Your A Schizophrenic Trying To Get Your Life Together- One of two things will happen.  They will either look down on you because you have a disability, or they will trust you because you were honest with them.  If you are heartfelt in your confession, it’s more likely they will trust you.  Let me know in the comments how that goes for you, I would really like to know.  I don’t think they are allowed to fire you, and you can feel better that you were honest about why you didn’t have the best attendance at first.
  32. Be Honest-  That goes hand in hand with telling your bosses your a schizophrenic.  Don’t do anything stupid and tell them anything that would get you fired, but be honest about your intentions, and if they are good you are going to do well.  Tell them about how things are going, and don’t be afraid to share work you are proud of.  Do the right thing, so honesty comes naturally to you.  Be honest.
  33. Treat Your Coworkers Like The Ladies And Gentlemen They Are-  This for me and my coworkers, holding the door for each other and calling each other “sir” or “miss”.  It means having respect for your coworkers.  What you do will rub off on them, so rub them the right way, to the best of your ability.
  34. Work More Than You Want To IF You Have To-  The holidays at my place means 50 or 55 hours a week.  That time is necessary to get the job done.  My bosses need me there for that period of time to make sure the job goes smoothly.  So I work a lot more than I really want to.  The paychecks are nice, and I gladly work the hours, and part of me wishes that I could get those kinds of hours all year long, but it is a lot of work.  I do it though, and my bosses appreciate it.  So if they need you, stay and do the work.  Do the hours, you’re getting paid anyways.
  35. Work With Long Term Success In Mind-  I read somewhere that it takes 10 years to master any given subject.  So I figure if you want to master a job, it’s going to take 10 years of your life.  If you’ve found a good job, you may want to devote 10 years of your working life to that cause.  If you do, good things may come of it.  If your a schizophrenic like me, holding it down for 2 years is an accomplishment.  I say go for another 8, meanwhile working on your business that’s going to pull you in 6 figures a year.
  36. Tell Your Voices In Your Head “I Must Live”-  You have a say.  What the voices say isn’t necessarily what’s going to happen.  You have some control.  Tell your voices what you think and influence the conversation in your head.  Tell them, when they tell you to die, that you MUST live.  Silence the voices that tell you to die by breathing.  You can live, you MUST live.
  37. Be Special-  If your a schizophrenic, your not normal.  There are only about 3.5 million schizophrenics in the U.S.A. according to Quora.  So if your working a job, chances are you might be the only schizophrenic who works there.  Especially if it’s a small company.  So really, you ARE special.  You hear voices, you may even hear your coworkers.  That makes you special.  Embrace it.  You are different.  You are part of the flavor of the world.  Take pride that you hear voices and can still work.  That makes you some of the most special of the special.
  38. Take Care Of Yourself When Your Off-  As I already mentioned, sleep enough, get good food, and drink plenty of water.  Don’t drink too much alcohol, and try not to smoke too many cigarettes.
  39. Do What You Do And Don’t Mind If You Die Doing It, Nothing Is Going To Stop You-  You could die at any time, young or old.  So life can at times be fragile.  If you feel like your dying, and you hear voices encouraging you to die, maybe you will die.  Still, that won’t stop you from doing what you are doing.  If you’re going to die, your going to die with your bootstraps on.  NOTHING will stop you from doing your job.  Not the feelings, not the voices, not the cigarettes, not the alcohol you drank last night.  You consistently do your job, because that’s what you have to do and you want to make the most of it.  Take that attitude and see where it takes you if your a working schizophrenic.
  40. Be Grateful For Every Penny You Get-  I’ve been fired from a job before and now that I’ve been holding another one I won’t make the same mistake.  That mistake was not being grateful for my job.  I now embrace the attitude of gratitude and I am happy to do my job because that’s what God has given me to do.   And it’s work I CAN do.  So be grateful for every penny, every minute you get at work.  Some people don’t have jobs.

That’s my 40 tips for schizophrenics who want to work, or do better and get promoted.  I sincerely hope you enjoyed it and can pull at least one or two nuggets out of there that will change your life for the better.  Make sure you subscribe to my list as you will get the best content that you can’t get anywhere else.  I’m working on getting my subscriber count up so that I can build relationships with you folks out there on the internet.  If your interested, please put your name and email address into the form. You’ll be happy you did.

Thanks for reading, here’s to all of us getting a promotion,

Jesse Creel

How Do I Make $20,000 A Year When I’m A Schizophrenic

I’m not a doctor, but I will say take your medication everyday.

I’ve had a revelation.

I’ve discovered my audience.

I am writing for schizophrenics who want to work.

I am a schizophrenic, and I make $20,000 a year.

From basically nothing.

I am a story of success.

I hear voices everyday that tell me I’m dying.

I must live and I tell them so.

Today was my daughters dance recital.  She was a crayon.

But let me not get off topic.  It’s hard because I’m a worker, but I’m also a family man.

I tell you even if your schizophrenic and think you can’t work, you can, and you can make an honest living off of your own sweat and blood.

Though chances are, if your like me, cutting yourself will rarely happen.  Most of the time it will just be sweat your putting into it.

So how do you, when your a schizophrenic, work and make more than you can make to get disability?

My answer came in swallowing my pride and taking my younger brother’s advice and I took a job with him.

He was hell to work with because he was constantly scrutinizing me and he was my senior in the company so I just had to do what he was telling me.  And when that’s coming from your younger brother it really takes hard work to just work harder and faster so he will stop complaining.

My brother no longer works with me, but it was a good experience with him while we had it.

The point is he landed me a job, and I didn’t even have to have an interview.  They just took me in on my brothers word.  Which I needed because I didn’t really have any good references.  I was afterall fired from the best job I’ve ever had in my life, when I lost it and asked some guy to fight, thinking it would earn me some respect.

It was an upheaval of epic proportions.  I couldn’t stand to work there anymore.  I was becoming a schizophrenic and I was about to get married.  I wanted to be a rockstar and not the guy who was making the guitars for the rockstar.  I wanted to be in the game.  I wanted a band.  I wanted to travel.

At the same time I didn’t want to give up the 18.50 an hour and the benefits.  So I stayed and hated it and eventually blew up.

And it got me fired.

That’s a hard thing to come back from.

I was making almost $40,000 a year!  Back to nothing.  It was a huge loss.  I still haven’t completely recovered from that.

I now make half of what I used to make.  I’m at $12 dollars an hour now.

Which really is good if your thinking about what a fast food employee makes.

I have gotten a couple of raises, one of them ironically came on my birthday.  I got paid an extra two dollars and the check came on my birthday.  Pretty cool.  I think God has blessed me with this job.

And I definitely don’t want to screw it up.

I’ve learned my lesson and now I have an attitude of gratitude and I thank God for my job.  It’s something I can do and not hate, so it’s easy for me to do my job.

And it’s easy to ask yourself how you can improve.  I do it all the time and I look for ways to be a better employee.  And it pays off.  I get raises.  I’m growing.  And on top of it all I’m a schizophrenic.

So if your a schizophrenic, and you want to work.  If you want to make more money than disability is going to pay you, then work.  It’s so amazingly good for you.  I get paid to wash dishes and talk to customers.  I can’t believe I get paid to do such easy work.  And when your working with your hands, it’s a lot easier for a schizophrenic.

But I do both, I work with my hands, and I work with customers, or potential customers.

I’m grateful for the hands on work, because it’s less stressful.  Talking to people is harder than doing Manuel labor.  At least for this schizophrenic.

But I do both and I really love talking to people.  It’s what my raises have led me to.  So I happily take on more stress, and with the voices it’s like people don’t like me because I’m a schizophrenic.

It’s like they know I hear voices that are telling me to die, or that they want to murder me, mostly just to die from smoking, but I just keep on keeping on, and improving, and so far I’ve woken up everyday.

It’s really a trip.

Sometimes not a good one, sometimes a very sexy one.  Sometimes a positive one.  I take the good with the bad.  But I am still working a job.  And I’m helping to support my family in a little way.  Gotta start somewhere.  I figure supporting them in a little way is better than nothing, and it’s a good start to doing a better job.

Because I’m not stopping with my job.  I’m moving on towards blogging.  I’m going to kick ass and make a 6 figure business and then ladder up to a 7 figure business.

That’s my plan.

Because I’ve got nothing else to do with my free time, other then spend it with my family and clean the house.

I’ve got plenty of time to start a business in my free time.

So I’m keeping my options open.

But that’s not going to stop me from working my job.

I’m a schizophrenic, and I work.  That’s what I do.  I’m okay.  I’m good to go.  I’m diseased, but I can still do my job.  And I can do the job well.

On top of it all I can write!

And write I will.

As it could be with you too.  If your a schizophrenic and work a job, that’s something worth writing about.  You could write all about your voices and what it takes to contribute to society.

Something I read on blogtyrant.com said you should write long form content if you want to be successful.  That means 3,000 words or more.  I’ve been writing 2,000.

But my audience is schizophrenics who don’t have a job and want to work.  Or work better at their job.  So I have to write for my audience.

The truth is part of the way I live my life is to deal with the voices by drinking and smoking.  It’s a rock and roll lifestyle and it could land me in my grave if I don’t play my piss poor hand right.  I am afterall, a schizophrenic.  My doctor told me I just had to deal with the cards I was dealt with in life.  I blamed my failure in business on the voices telling me I had cancer.

I of course am healthy, and there is nothing wrong with me.  Except I hear voices that other people don’t hear.

It is interesting because sometimes it seems like other people CAN hear my voices.  And they say things out loud about it to other people.  Like the people I work with.  They are always talking to themselves out loud.

I also heard in a Pat Flynn’s podcast recently about how if you wouldn’t tell your grandmother what you were doing, then should you really be doing it?

As far as starting a business goes.

But the problem is hating work when your a schizophrenic.

So what do you do?

I say you find a job that you can do.  Let the Lord bless you with an opportunity, by being humble and taking good advice.  Do the hands on work you have to do, because you hear voices and think that scares sales away.

Because I’ve been in the sales game for 7 years now, and I can tell you it’s not easy.

I failed more than I have succeeded, and now God has given me the opportunity to sell again, this time I get paid whether I sell or not.  So it’s really a win.

And that’s my new job.

Go out, drive around to local businesses, give them a taste of our product, and follow up the next day.  It’s so simple anyone could do it.

But I AM the only person in the 3 store company who does it.  They chose me.

And I do a superb job.  I got 6 sales in one month.

And I took some time off and worked in the store for the holiday, but now I’m back on the road, and I’m marketing.

Because that’s really what I would call it.  It’s not sales.  It’s too soft for that.  All I do is drop off two box lunches, a ham sandwich and a turkey sandwich…. with a bag of chips, a soda, a cookie, and a pickle, so they get the whole deal, and then I tell them to make sure they pass my name along IF they order.

That way my company knows I’m doing something.

I’m a smart salesman, and i also smoke, which makes me so just stupid sexy.

For most of the day I’m smoking, in the car, in between businesses.

It’s probably not the best way to pass the time, but I’m addicted and I do it, and I’m still alive.

And I figure even if i die early, I’ll still have another 20 or 30 years in me.  Human beings can stand pain for decades.

Or I could change my life and shoot to live to 100.

Maybe I can live to 100 and drink and smoke.  People do it.

But how do you work when your schizophrenic?

You find a good boss who will call you babe, and your willing to do whatever they ask you to do.  Your very easy going and want to make your bosses life easier.

That kind of attitude will get you raises.

And they are sweet as candy when you talk to them.

How do you make $20,000 a year even if your schizophrenic?

Work hard and do a job you can love.  Personally, I work for all women and I think that’s the way to go for this schizophrenic.  The managers of all 3 stores are women.  And the president is a woman.  I know all of them.  Most or all of them know I hear voices.  It’s like they are giving me a second chance.

And I can tell you it’s better writing than tapping out.  I’m feeling pretty drunk and hungry but it’s not dinner time and I’m waiting for my family to get home.

I did learn a lot from a Pat Flynn podcast.  It was all about laddering up.  Going from zero to a six figure business to a seven figure business.

He talked about how you had to reply to every comment, and be mindful of telling people to get on your list.  Each and everyday.

For a while I was just approving comments and letting them fly.  Now I respond to each one and let them know I’m here for them.

And that’s just for comments.  Imagine how I would treat the people on my list.  They are going to get my best stuff!

For now I write to you on this blog.

I consider it rock and roll art.  Poetry from the heart.

And I do it all writing and maintaining this website.

But the question is still, how do you get $20,000 a year working as a schizophrenic.

That would be doing a lot better than being on disability.  You would be paying taxes and contributing to society.

And the way I work it is simple.  I just do what my bosses tell me to do, and I put in a little pizaazz of improvement in there with my comments.

At one point the president of the company was telling other employees that I was her favorite associate.

So if your a schizophrenic and want to work, take heart, I’m doing it.  And I’m a pretty stupid person for all the smoking and drinking I do.  I’m a schizophrenic, I do all this stuff, and I still hold a job and support my family.  If I can get this done, I know others can be inspired to do the same, and screw disability and get a job and make MORE money than they would on disability.

Just work with your hands, and screw the voices, and make your bosses job easier, and pray things go smoothly.  You’ll be fine.  I really sincerely wish the best for you.

Here’s to happy job hunting,

Jesse Creel

Working For Almost 12 Hours And Then Playing For The Jackpot

I spent 5 dollars.

One on a 43 million dollar jackpot, and 4 on a 228 million dollar jackpot.

I hope I win.

But I also delivered over 6,000 box lunches to the race track over the last two days.  That was an accomplishment.

And I got to work with my brother.  We delivered together.

It was nice of them to put us two together for the delivery.

But we did it.

For about 5 hours I spent my time putting the box lunches into bags, marking the bags, and stacking them up.

Then putting them onto the truck, which was running to keep the cooling on.  It ran for hours.

And the team I was working on was kicking ass.  We were doing double what the other team was doing, and they really had me working.

When I walked in this morning I was told my team was going to be the best because I was on it.  I said they were too nice.  I’m just a regular guy.  That’s what I told them.

On the first trip, yesterday to deliver 100 bags or so, the GPS took us through the city, when we could have just gone around the beltway.  But I didn’t know how to get there so I was at the mercy of the GPS.  My brother was with me, and he sort of lost his mind over the traffic on the way back yesterday.

So today we got the directions from the president of the company and it took us right there.  It was a lot easier.

Today when we were there I was noticing a particularly attractive woman, who was wearing high heeled shoes and a tight dress and she had some very attractive legs.

There was another woman after I had my look who was standing in front of her, and then another woman came out of nowhere and starting walking right up to the truck to where I was sitting.

She looked at me and I looked at her and she kind of mimicked my gesture to her and then she looked at me again and grabbed her crotch.  Like I was a rockstar and I was being given attention by whores.

I did have two rockstar energy drinks today, one on the way to the first delivery.

I drove there twice today.

And I drove a larger box truck then I was used to driving.

8 feet longer.

And 18 footer.

And I don’t know how we would have delivered all 6,000 box lunches in our little 10 foot truck.  We would have had to made 3 trips.

But we had an 18 footer, so we only had to make 2 trips and there was plenty of room.

When I delivered the first delivery though there was 366 bags.  It took up almost all of the 18 feet.  It was by far the biggest of the sections we had to do.

If you figure there are 9 box lunches in each bag, that’s a lot of box lunches.

And I, my brother, and one other guy got them all there.  It was just me and my brother on that last trip.  It was nice because he didn’t complain much.

But all in all it was a good thing.

I got plenty of hours this week, and that’s a good thing for me and my family.

And I want to do more for them, as much as I can do, to help support them.

That’s why I write this blog.  For them.  So that I can be a better father by earning income from my writing.

It is much harder than it seems though.

At least that’s the way it’s been for me.

I feel like some of the commentors on this site are yanking my chain.  Telling me it’s good and not being genuine.  I would rather they come right out and say they don’t like me.  Instead of being nice and leaving trash in their comments.

I still have no subscribers to my list, so that’s a failure.  An ongoing one.  But I really need to spend some sober time editing my ebook so I can give that away as a freebie.  Something to get people to put their email address in.

Because I would love to start a business online and sell products to people.  I just need readers, and that comes with writing.

So I gotta write.  And write I will.  Write until the cows come home.

And that’s what I say we all could do.  Write.  Write like our lives depended on it.  Write and put blood, sweat, and tears into it.  I say that’s the way we get it done.

And we may never make any money at all off of our work.  But 10 years down the line that won’t matter, because we will have grown.  We will have accomplished something.

We’ll probably end up giving up the cigarettes.  So we can be wealthy.

Or we’ll just keep smoking and smoke our money.  We might have so much of it that it won’t matter, and we’ll still be able to leave our children money when we die.

That’s what I’m going for…. health, wealth, and wisdom.

And I figure you can have all three and still drink and smoke.

Probably would be better if you didn’t, but you want to enjoy yourself, so here’s to you.

But after working 12 hours, and driving a big box truck all day I was tired.

So tired I passed out.  I couldn’t drink anymore.  It was making me feel sick.

Tonight my wife and I are going out to eat.  I’m really looking forward to it as we haven’t been out in a while.  I’m going to eat a lot and drink a little.  I’m really looking forward to it.

But I’ve got to get my stuff together.  And I don’t curse on purpose, because I want everyone to be comfortable.  But I really do.

I’ve got to stop spending all my money on cigarettes and alcohol, and then buying groceries and gas on my credit card.  I’ve paid it off a thousand dollars, but now I’m spending on it again, and I’m really losing control.

Internet, if I can ever get my habits under control, and not buy alcohol and cigarettes when I don’t have the money, I’ll be in a lot better place.

And I think that’s what my writing is leading me to.  That’s where it’s leading us to.  Sober, non smoker, exerciser.

But really that would be no fun, and I’m really at my best when I’m smoking and drinking.

So it’s going to be hard to stop.

I’ve been trying since the beginning of this year.  We’re almost 6 months into it and I’m still smoking.

But back to the work.

The work of writing.

And work it is.

I go for 2,000 words each post.  I don’t always get there but often times I do.

I’ve still got a ways to go before I reach that word count, but I’ve already told you about my day.

So what do I blog about next?

How do I make this blog post worth it for you?

I could tell you I’m going to win 228 million dollars tonight, and become a multimillionaire overnight.

But what good would that do you?

I’m looking for the real value here.

What can I give to you?

I can give you my love.

And I do.

I can tell you that woman grabbing her crotch while I was looking at the pretty girl was an encounter.

She wasn’t bad looking either.  Not exceptionally pretty, but good looking.

The one woman though, she had legs forever.  A real nice looking body.  I like being around those kinds of people.  They get my motor going.

I guess you could say that I’m one of those attractive people.  Although my addictions are pretty ugly, I’m not bad looking on the outside.  Older women are always telling me how beautiful my eyes are.

Not to brag, but the ladies are attracted to me in a bad kinda way.  They like me smoking and drinking.  And I like them smoking and drinking.  Not that I would ever do anything about it, I’m married.  But I like seeing them.  I like talking to them.  I like being around them.  Especially when I’m working.

Although really when I was working there was an attractive manager that kept telling me how good I was and because I didn’t turn on my member and get it going with her there seemed to be a disconnect working with her.

I’m married and I don’t play games.  I don’t have the energy.  I just do my job, that’s what I need to do.  And I write this blog.  I almost do want to write dirty things.

Like what I want to do to my wife tonight while our daughter is out sleeping over my parents house.

But I try to be a gentleman so really I can’t go into that.

What I can tell you is that I sometimes try not to even look at other woman.  Don’t want to get the thoughts about doing them in my head.  But that makes it so when I do look, I look to much or I’m too much of a creep and I weird people out.  I should probably just look more.

I don’t think it makes you a bad person if you look at other women when your married to a perfectly good woman already.  Your only looking.  I like it.

I don’t want to like it too much though.  I don’t want to get started doing things I shouldn’t be doing.  Maybe if I ever made a million dollars off this blog it would be easier to have a girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean I WOULD have one.

What I would do if I had a million dollars is travel all the time.  And write about my experiences on this website.  That would be the life.

I want to do it.  Let me know how I can better serve you in the comments.  Or sign up for my list.  I’ll send you primo content.  Right to your inbox.

This is the way it is done.  You write your content until it’s done.  You write until you meet your quota.  Do this thing.  Do this thing now.  You can do it.  Write your blog post.

I worked for 12 hours, and I’m a schizophrenic.  That’s an accomplishment.  Even if I’m only getting paid $20,000 a year.  I definitely want to find out how I can make more money, but I think it all starts with me doing what I’m doing now.  Which is writing.

I do rely quite a bit on intuition so it may piss you off I do have any evidence for what I “think”.  That’s okay with me.  I’m still going to go with my gut.  I’m going to make the right call for myself and for my family.  I’m going to do the thing and have the power.

That’s all I can do, or anyone can do.  You have to write from the heart.  What comes to you.  This is the way it is done.  I can say because I write all the time.  I know how to write.  And it can be done by anyone who can write.  And that would be a lot of people.

But working at my job for 12 hours at 12 dollars an hour is a good day for me.  I used to try to sell and I sucked at being a business man so I had to take a low paying hourly job just to create an income.  It sucks, but it’s also a blessing because so far I haven’t found any other job I can DO.

And I want to do a job.  I want to work hourly.  It’s good for me.  I like it. I want to do more.  I have the weekend off and then I’m back to work.  But I’ve really got to get something going on this website because I’m going back to 30 hours a week and I’m going to have plenty of time to work on my business.

So here’s to working when your off, so that you have the chance to enjoy the benefits of your work later.  There’s always the possibility.

Thanks for reading,

Jesse Creel

The Blog Post To Help YOU Write The Next Best Blog Post

With this post I want to inspire you to take action and write your own blog post.  And if your reading this, and you’ll want to, you’ll want to write the best blog post on the planet.

One day at a time.  One blog post at a time.  Take over the planet.  Set your information free.  Get paid.  I say that’s what it’s all about.

And you can do it and feel good at the same time.

I’m feeling good off of the three beers I had leftover from a six pack I bought yesterday off of my sales mileage money.

Bad habit.

My work doesn’t have the best salespeople.  They drink and smoke, and don’t live balanced lives.  They definitely eat though.

And some times, during the holidays, work buys the food.  Yesterday they bought chicken, and today they bought pizza.  And they bought a lot of it.  The workers were taking home 4 slices a piece.  And donuts too.  I should have eaten more…

But I had three slices of pizza.  Two thin crust, chicken BBQ.  And one piece of cheese.  It felt good, especially since I had already had a turkey sandwich, a banana, and grapes for lunch.  That didn’t really fill me up though, I wanted more.  Especially after not smoking a lot.

I only had 3 cigarettes when I started work this morning, and that lasted me to almost 1 pm.  That was pretty good considering I did a lot of driving.  And when I’m driving I tend to smoke a lot.

I got bye though until about 4 o’clock and I heard my boss bought a pack of cigarettes even though she doesn’t smoke, just to give them out to the holiday help.

It’s not really a holiday, but these workers come in and help us do massive quantities of product, and without their help we wouldn’t be able to do the job.

So they feed them.  And talk nice to them.  Mostly.

They tell you to hurry up, or not to toss the tomatoes so hard on to the foil.  So as not to spray another worker with juice, especially when it’s your boss.

And I had that experience today.

Really I love working.

There is one woman there who says I’m one of her work husbands.  She says she has a lot of them, but I’m one.

And when my boss was telling the story today to 5 or 6 people about how a customer told me my eyes were beautiful, and she was in her 70’s and said she wasn’t flirting with me.

My boss overheard the whole thing and told the story about it today in front of all the holiday help.  And the rest of my bosses at that.

She was also remarking about how I was doing an excellent job doing everything.  Putting the foil down, laying out 2 tomatoes on each foil, wrapping the foil.  I was doing everything.  As it was needed.

When some foil needed to be laid down, I laid the foil down.  When it was better I wrapped the tomatoes, I wrapped the tomatoes, and so on.

I worked with the rest of the team.

And in that factory sort of setting I can really get into a groove.

Do it really fast, with a high quality.

And at the end of the day, my bosses always tell me I did a good job.

And I’m paying taxes.

I’m contributing to society.

And that’s more than some schizophrenics can say.

To be honest it’s a little much for me to take on making money off this blog.  To say that I’m working 30 hours a week and 50 hours on holidays is a miracle. I’m lucky to have my boss who helped me by giving me a job through my brother.  It really is a miracle I’m even working considering I got fired 7 years ago.

Now I’m suffering making half of what I used to make.

But it’s better than it was considering two years ago I had nothing and wasn’t really working at all.

Really what I’ve been up to is spending my money on alcohol and cigarettes and living it up.

Enjoying myself.

Bad example, but fun.

Now I’m winding down.

On Mother’s day I drank 10 beers, and I drank another 10 beers the Monday after that.  I drank 6 the day after, and now I’ve only had 3.

I think it’s about time I change my ways.

Quit smoking and drinking.

Makes me want to smoke just thinking about it.

I fight through it.  I have to wait.  I have to do what I’m doing.  I have a purpose I need to fulfill.  And so do you.  So write that blog post about that.  And do it with passion.  Write the best blog post on the planet.  And then try to do that everyday for 90 days.  I’m trying but I did 6 days a week for a month, and after that I’ve probably only written 3 times a week.

But I’m still keeping up with it.  And I think it’s only a good thing.  I think it would help any human being on the planet.  Become a better person.

For me it’s made me realize that I drink too much and I shouldn’t smoke.  Now I just really need to take action and quit the habit.

I had a meditation tool that I used called Centerpointe.  It was a product that you sat there for an hour with headphones on and it made the two lobes of your brain work together to get whole brain functioning.

It was like meditating for 30 years and then meditating.  All through technology.

One of my sales trainers in my head told me that I shouldn’t use that stuff.  It’s supposed to change your awareness forever.  For me all that happens is the grass is greener.  The sky bluer, my wife’s love deeper.

I’m happy I did it.  I think it may have had something to do with the schizophrenia?  I don’t know.

I certainly didn’t consider myself a schizophrenic when I was using the product.

That was years later that I was finally broken and admitted to a doctor that I heard voices.

After that it was medication and therapy, and has been ever since.

I’ve read in Elyn Saks book “The Center Cannot Hold” about how she would go off her medication because she was taught in a rehab that drugs are bad, and she didn’t want to be taking anything.

But she would always go crazy when she stopped taking her meds.

So I say stick on your medication, no matter what your taking, whether it be medication for schizophrenia, or high blood pressure.

The miracle of modern medicine.  Keeps us alive.

How do you write the greatest post on the planet?

Write about you.  You are original.  There is only one of you out there, and there will only ever be one of you out there.  You have the opportunity to make a masterpiece.  Make a masterpiece.

And who knows.  Maybe if you write good enough stuff for long enough, you ‘ll have enough readers that want to buy something from you and you can sell them things and make money.

Sounds stupid.  But so is drinking and smoking.

I figure I would give the blog a try sober and smoke free and maybe running.

I think I may really go for it.

I think I can do it.

I want to do it pretty badly.

I’m just so ugly.

People tell me I’m attractive, and so do the voices, but my cigarette addiction does make me feel a little less attractive.

The voices tell me I’m sick.  And a lot of times I do feel sick.  Not right.  Just making it.  In pain.  Can’t smoke any more.  Wanting to smoke anyways.  I almost want to go to cigarette rehab.

I try to smoke less and I smoke more.  It’s ridiculous.  At least it gives me something to write about.  Although I could be writing about more constructive things like working out, or running.

That would be better for me.  Healthier.  I would be a more fit person.  I already eat.  So I’m good there.  I just need to exercise and stop smoking and do the thing the best I can do it.

I say all this shit and then I smoke.  I’m addicted.  It’s ridiculous.

I really need to clean up my act and be a better worker.  The only problem with that is that I’m doing great at the job drinking and smoking.

Well I don’t drink on the job, but I do drink after.  And sometimes I do feel it the next morning.  Makes you feel like you don’t want to work.  But I always do.  I go to work.

I just got to quit the cigarettes.  Say it once, say it a thousand times.  Eventually I’ll walk the walk.  And I’ll be a better salesman because of it.  And my works salespeople will get better, and there may even be another promotion in store for me.

How do YOU write the blog post to begin all blog posts?

Write like your life depended on it.  Write like someone was holding a gun to your head.

Or write like you want to get the thing done so you can have a cigarette.

And if you really want to smoke then that could really get you writing.

Give you motivation.

To get the job done.

Not saying you should smoke.  I would never encourage anyone to do that to themselves.

But I do it.

And I say you should be sober too.

Except maybe on special occasions, with family or friends for parties.

There are not enough parties to have a problem as long as your not drinking by yourself excessive quantities.

The point though, especially if you want to write the greatest blog post in the world, is to make money.

I have a family, I need money. The more money the better.  So I’m all about increasing my income.  At my job, at this blog, and at the lottery.

If figure playing THOSE games will leave me rich at some point.  Especially if I can STOP spending my money on destructive things like alcohol and cigarettes.

I think sober I might even write better.

I’m sure it would be harder at first, but I don’t think that would last.  I think it would be better that I could take my wife out every month to eat somewhere, because I had an extra 200 dollars that month from not smoking.

We could go out to eat twice for that much.

And eat and drink and enjoy.  Out in public.  Playing the game.

When I go out and the voices of the other people start talking to me in my head, I don’t really say much back to them in my head.  I just let it ride and listen to them all.  Occasionally I’ll chime in for balance.

Really I like it when I go out and hear their voices.  Sometimes they tell me sexy things, and if it’s a girl it’s pleasing.  Men like talking too.  Sometimes they say murderous things, like they hate people.  All I know is there is no reason to fight and every reason to be civil with one another.

That’s what you learn when you’ve been fired from the best job you ever had in your life.

You learn your lesson.

Don’t fight.

It’s not the right thing to do.

Maybe you could scream at one another for a while, or maybe talk it out.

Or maybe just let it be.  And let someone go off angry and let them decide on how they are going to take it.

Hopefully they make the most of their anger and learn to become better.

That’s all I’m talking about so when you write your next blog post, the one that’s going to begin your journey on writing the greatest blog post on the internet, and write them everyday, think of how YOU can become better.

Write that all down.

That will be a journey for your reader to take with you, and you both will learn as a result.

So here’s to your successful post,

Happy writing,

Jesse Creel

How Do Schizophrenics Get A Job That Pays Them $20,000 A Year?

And the answer is to drink and smoke and hate working until your in such a bad place that you will take advice from your younger brother and take a job with him.

And if your lucky like me, you’ll advance, even though your drinking and smoking in your free time, because it’s easier on the voices.

And I love working.  It pays me.  I love it also because I like my bosses.  They are sweet.  They have the sugar.  And their women.  So it’s easier for me to get along with them.

I’ve always gotten along better with the opposite sex.  There’s no alpha male drama just the mother taking care of her children.

But I really could be more of a man and make something of this blog.  I could be a better man if I could take my yearly income and make it my monthly income.  Then I would really have a start.  I would of course pay taxes, as every man has to, but I would be rolling in the doe.

That is of course if I don’t first hit the lottery.  I’m playing for this Mega Millions $36,000,000 jackpot.

It’s a small one, but I think that might make it even better.  I have found that the people who win more than one jackpot win smaller amounts.  They don’t take away a billion dollar jackpot.  But really if you play it right, you only have to win once to make a life for yourself.

But I can do it.  I know I can.  You find out on this blog how I do it.  I’m going to win the jackpot, or I’m going to eat my words.  But I would rather apologize for being wrong then to never go for it.  And you never know, this could be the best story on the news for a while.

Man writes on a blog about winning the jackpot, man wins the jackpot, man writes blog, man writes ebook, man starts internet business with the winnings, man makes a life for himself.  It would be beautiful.

And it all starts here.  At this blog.  I write, I work, I drink, I smoke, I raise a family, I am a husband, I’m a salesman, I’m a schizophrenic, and I could change my life right now if I wanted to.  But I’m hooked.  I’m hooked on the lottery, drinking and smoking.

I’ll probably never win the jackpot.  That’s just a reality.  But I don’t face that reality.  I dream.  And I dream big.  I could win not just one, but several jackpots in my lifetime.  I could be a youtube star.  I could be famous.

Then again, this probably will never work.  I probably will never win not even one jackpot.  I keep holding out hope for it though.  I know that if I win my life will be a lot better, so I hold out hope.

I keep hoping I win, I keep hoping I win.

Like Jesus said to do, whatsoever you ask for in prayer, in believing you shall receive it.

So I believe I already have the jackpot win.

I believe that I am already a multi millionaire overnight.

Not that it happened overnight.  It took years.  But it happened seemingly overnight and for that I’m thankful.

I’m thankful for that because it finally happened.  I’m finally a multimillionaire.

I’m grateful.  I’m pleased.  I’m thankful to the universe.

I hope I win.

This is probably a good joke for a comedian.  At least I can fulfill a role in society by being the butt of a joke.  That is only of course if I don’t win.

If I DO WIN, there will be an instructional ebook on how to win one of the big games with your mind.  At this point I don’t know if I would charge for that kind of information.  I could say that I want to be a public service and give it away for free, or I could say that it’s too valuable an there has to be a price tag.

Either way I would write the book.  And borrow liberally from the past 10 years journals.  One of my therapists voices in my head told me if she ever read my journal that she would think I had a problem with the lottery.

I probably do have a problem with the lottery.  But that doesn’t stop me from thinking I’ll win.

The voices say my name and tell me no.  I don’t know what to think.

I think I’m going to win the jackpot.  Just wait and see.  It’s going to happen.  Then I’ll be famous and so will this website, and we’ll make merry of it.

That’s all I think is going to happen.

And I’ll get a free ebook for my list and start getting a list together, and then sell network marketing.  It will be beautiful.  If that’s what I do end up doing.

Because I might not sell network marketing to my list, I might sell ebooks and rock and roll albums.

I just recorded a rock and roll poem with no guitar.  Just me singing it.  The words.  It was beautiful.  It was about winning 36 million dollars.  Just a small jackpot, but something to live off so you could start a business.

And start a business I would.  I would buy traffic for this site.  Get people reading my work.  Get them to a landing page where I could get their email addresses.  Make money doing that!

What do you think, a blogger, an ad man, a business man, getting paid for selling e books.  And rock and roll albums.  And maybe end up getting a record deal.  There’s more than one way to become a multimillionaire.  The lottery, yes.  But there are other things too.

But I’ve probably waited too long to get going, I’m probably going to land flat on my face.  On the other side of the coin the only option is success and you’ve got to have it so… what’s going to happen?

I say the best possible outcome will come with diligent hard work everyday.  Getting the hours in at work, and then coming home and getting a couple hours in on the blog.  That be my way of life.

And there’s more to it than just work and blogging.  There is also family life.  Very important to overall well being.  A healthy family.

I love my family.  They are the best.

And the schizophrenia makes me a better dad.  It helps me guide my family to the path that I think is right.

But i could be better if I didn’t drink and smoke.  I could lead my family better.

But I must write.  That is what I must do.  I know this could lead me places, and my family places.  I just have to commit to writing everyday and see what comes of it.  I’m looking for a 6 or 7 figure income.

So how does a schizophrenic like me go from a $20,000 a year job to a $240,000 a year income from writing a blog?

I’ll let you know all about it on this blog, just check back for the new posts.

And the voices tell me I’m too high to make that kind of money.  I say I just have to work harder than the average person to make that kind of money.

So that’s what I’m going to do.  I’m just going to work harder.

And you won’t find a lot of quotes in my stuff.  It’s straight from my own heart.  In a way you could look at it as fiction.  My own personal dream world.  But I also say you could stand to learn a lot from me.

You could learn how to live even when your being told to die and you feel like your dying.  You could live to the next day and get better.  You might still be told to die, but that happens everyday, and it’s nothing your not used to hearing.

I guess that’s all for me today.  I hope you have a good time.

Jesse Creel

How Do I Improve When I Have Schizophrenia?

The simple answer is instead of visualizing yourself dying, visualize yourself getting better.

The simple question “how do I improve?” is a powerful one.

It will take your mind away from killing yourself and put it to use doing something constructive.

That all depends on your answers to the question “how do I improve?”.

For me I would like to stop smoking and drinking, maybe limit myself to one glass of red a day, and quit cigarettes.  But right now that seems like a far off dream.

But I want to make it happen rapidly so that I can save enough money to start selling on commission again.

You see, that’s where I made a mistake in my past.  I sold while paying my expenses with a credit card.  This time I don’t want to repeat that mistake, so I’m going to save three months of pay and when I have that I’m going to make the jump into commission.  It could really make this blog come alive!

I no doubt would be working more, but I really would have the opportunity to make a lot more.

I read today on a Craigslist ad that one of this companies top earners made $200,000 last year.  And being the way I am I want to be a top earner too.  So I figure that’s the kind of money I’m looking at if I’m successful in my next commission job.

That would be way up from $20,000.

That would be the kind of money I’m talking about.

Once you’ve made that kind of money, you have GOT to know how to improve and make it even better.  On your way to being a multi millionaire.

All through smarts.

And I think books are vital.

I don’t read enough.

I’m always writing.

But I’m going to get back into it, and order some more books on sales.  I want to learn more and become better.  Filled with MORE knowledge.

I just think that’s the way it should be done.

And I’m a successful schizophrenic.  Successful in the way that I earn an income working an hourly job.  And I get promoted at this job.  I am now their salesperson.

I really am making the most of my time at my job.  I doing well.  And I hear voices everyday.  When I try to stop smoking the voices and the visions of people talking to me become more intense.

So I smoke because it’s easier to live.

But I know it’s not good for me, so I’m trying to stop.

I’m only 32 so I figure with modern medicine I should still have a pretty long life ahead of me.

With my own self, taking care of myself, I should be fine.  And so will my family.  They will be fine.

I think I got these promotions at my job by asking myself the question how do I improve?.  And I even told my bosses I was schizophrenic and was trying to stop smoking and drinking.  They liked talking to me.  They say they trust me.

And they must because they send me out with no leads and 16 box lunches to deliver to local businesses.  For free!  I’m giving away two free box lunches to each place I stop at.  That’s my job.

But I figure this blog can only help me develop myself and become a better salesman and ultimately make more money and help more people.

Because in all honesty I’ve thought about it, and I have ways I could make money off this blog, but they are just going to take time.  And I could probably make more money working a commission sales job in a short period of time, then trying to sell ebooks and rock and roll albums.

Although I want to do both.

Really I just have to get incredibly busy.  I’ve got my ebook that needs editing, I’ve got rock and roll songs to write.  I’ve got this blog to keep up with.  I STILL am trying to write for 90 days straight.  So far I’ve taken quite a few days off.

But I’m still writing and I will try to write everyday until the end of July.  That would be something like doing it for 90 days.  I say that would be good for anyone.  I know it’s good for me and this blog.

More content the better.

Even if it’s not your best stuff, your still doing something.  Your still TRYING to add value.  Your working on your masterpiece.  And some of your posts really hit the nail on the head.  You’ve just got to keep doing it.  You’ve just got to keep rocking it.

But my boss told me that if we make more money then we’re supposed to this summer, as a result of my sales calls, I might be looking at another promotion.  At least that’s what I got out of it.  All I know is that I just want to do my job well and do it better than the best I can do it.

I told my boss today, that I just tried to enjoy the ride.  I figure if I’m enjoying talking to people and giving away free lunches, then that will rub off on the people I talk to.  And they will have a better experience.  A free lunch and a good feeling.

And that kind of work pays off.  People buy and tip when you do those kinds of things.  And some of them don’t just buy once, they buy several times.

But selling again on commission, well I could fall flat on my face again.  The way I see it is, that won’t matter.  What does matter is that I did it the right way.  I saved enough money to not work for 3 months, and try commission selling again, and if it didn’t work after 3 months then I could go back to my old job.  Because I gave them notice of course.

So really there would be nothing to lose and everything to gain.  The next step for me is to save diligently until I get to the point where I can do something like that.

And you bet I would buy some nice clothes, maybe even a couple new suits.  If I stopped smoking and drinking I would save an incredible amount of money and could afford to do this much more easily.

That’s the trick.  I’m a schizophrenic and the voices disturb me when I’m not smoking so I smoke.  It’s really very screwy.  Relying on something to make you happy.  I would probably learn a lot if I could ever get myself to quit.  God help me, at some point I will.

And live my life more in balance.

But I figure the best thing I can do in the meantime is to blog.  People are reading my work and commenting on it.  I’m doing a good job with this blog.  I want to keep putting the good work into it so it blossoms into something beautiful.  What that will be at this point I don’t know.  It could just be a mission of personal development.

But I could really stand to make a profit off of my work.  I’ve just got to figure out a way to do that.  I guess I’m going to have to start writing another ebook.  Another one, and one I could sell. Whether it be a commission sales job or this blog I’m going to make a lot of money doing something.  My $20,000.00 a year gig is not all there is for me.

I’m not afraid of hard work.  I’ll write until I bleed if I have to.  In fact that’s the only way I want it.  I WANT it to be a labor of love.  So I’ve just got to keep doing it and make a masterpiece of it.

Some folks say I write about nothing.  But I think I write for you to take action and improve your life.  I think my writing could be the catalyst for you to take a walk or a run and that would make your life better.  Either run out what you just read or savor the material and let it make you rich.

Either way I’m a busy guy.

So how do you improve when your a schizophrenic?

I say when your voices start telling you to die, you simply change your focus to how you can improve your life right now and take action on those thoughts.

Work, blog, spend time with your family, do housework, clean, write in your journal, read a book, exercise, eat something that’s good for you.  Do something right in your life.

And if you are a schizophrenic, don’t forget to shower and shave.  It will be good for you to keep up on your hygiene.  And don’t forget to floss.

How do you take action and improve?

Ask yourself that question for the next 24 hours and see what happens to you.

See if you want to keep asking yourself that question.

I do, and I hope you will too.

When I ask myself that question it leads me to how I can improve this blog…

Get my picture up, offer a freebee for getting on my list, editing my ebook, writing another e book, one I could sell, and that’s a lot for starters.  I could also get off my blog and start commenting on other blogs and putting my website on other websites.

All things I plan to do now that I’m going to reel back the drinking and smoking.

You’ll be getting a better quality of work from me, I’m sure, as each day that passes I get better.  I really think I can make it blogging.  I’m going to keep doing it for the rest of my life and see what happens.

Or maybe not the rest of my life, maybe just for the next 8 years.  I’ve already got 2 years into it, I figure I’ll go another 8 and make it 10 and see what I have then.  If I don’t have a successful business by then, maybe I’ll just hang it up or just blog for fun.

But the way I see it is, I’ll probably have a six figure income from this blog in the time it takes to save enough to start a commission sales job.  And I’ll have plenty of money to start with another network marketing company if I want.  The future does look pretty good.

All because I found a job, thanks to my brother, who I love and am grateful for.

And that job lets me do everything I do.  Without it I would have nothing.  So suiting up and showing up is no problem for me.

And if more mild schizophrenics like me, took the attitude of positivity and made the most of what they were doing, the world would be a better place for schizophrenics and others alike.  I’m just an example of ONE mild schizophrenic who is becoming part of the community.

Not just laying on the couch listening to the voices.

But actively contributing to society.  Earning an income and paying taxes.

Helping to keep everything running.

And I know not all schizophrenics can do that.  But to those of you who WANT to work, just know you can.  You CAN find a job where your boss likes you and wants you to succeed.  You CAN find a job where you can get promotions and feel like your growing in your professional life.  You CAN WRITE! and keep a list of all the things that are happening to you, to let the world know you are alive and kicking and things are getting better.

This can be done.  I know you and I can do this.  We can work, we can blog, we can take care of ourselves and help to take care of our families.  It can be a very beautiful life.  Take action and take control of your life now and start writing.

You will be happy you did.

Thanks for reading,

As always, take care,

Jesse Creel

Schizophrenia And Drinking And Smoking

Yes, you could call me a schizophrenic.

But only if I told you I heard voices everyday.  And had visions of people.  People I know.

And the voices sometimes, a lot of times tell me to drink.  And a lot of times I do.

And basically I’m just praying I live.  Considering I smoke too.

I don’t advise this kind of writing to anyone, it’s too dangerous.

But reading it you might get a kick out of it.

I imagine feet.

That’s just how a schizophrenic writes.

I do my best though, and I really do want to bring massive value to the table.  And what I can tell you is even if your schizophrenic and drink and smoke everyday, you can still hold down a job and give some money to your family.

It would probably be more kid friendly without the smoking and the drinking, but they get by.

And I think my son has hater’s before he’s even done anything.  Because of me.  And my drinking and smoking.  Having a beautiful family.

Really I probably do lead a God damned life with all the drinking, smoking and lottery playing.

But that’s not stopping me from living.

And they say it’s a bad thing, but it’s legal!

What I have to do is find a way to get more traffic so more people see my list and will subscribe to it.

Because that’s how they say you can build a business.

It’s already costing me money to keep this site running, and I’m not making any money off of it yet.  I hope I will.  I hope that this is one of the ways I make my money.  The other two being my job and the lottery.

But really some authors think you should keep it a secret.  I say let it out and that way when you win people will have something to look at.  The story leading up to the win.  They can look back on it, and learn from you, and hopefully for some of them they learn how to win the lottery too!

Because that would just be awesome.  Getting a testimonial or several from people who have read your work, and then won the lottery.  Hit the jackpot.  Shared it with another person or won the whole thing.  Stories of both.  Because you won and shared what you knew.  It had a positive effect on the world.

The bible would probably say that is God damned too.  The bible with all of this God damnedness.

I’m probably no better than the devil though.  I’ll probably burn in hell when this life is over.  I’m a schizophrenic and when I go to church the preachers voice tells me not to drink and it makes me shaky.  I know they are just voices, but sometimes it’s like my body is listening to them when they tell me to die.

But I know it’s not.  I know I just have to be stronger.  I’m only 32.  I could suffer another 20 or 30 years this way.  This is far from over.  And I might even quit the life and live clean and sober and start running.

But really I’m already well pretty accustomed to this way of life.  I like it.  I enjoy the ride.

Probably going straight to hell though.

Even if I do win the lottery and give large sums of money away to charity.

That would be me just living life on earth.  Nothing to do with what happens to me after I die.

Or maybe it does.  I don’t know.

And if it pisses you off the way I write then go read something else.  Because your comments are what I need to stay just the way I am.  An artist.  A writer.

I may use and, and but too much, but that’s just the way I write.  I get the point across.  You know what I’m talking about and that’s what I’m talking about.

And I want to walk the walk too.  So I’m going to write the best blog post I can possibly write, right now.

And how do I create the worlds most valuable piece of writing everyday?

Just write and see what happens.

Probably with the drinking and smoking it will be less than average.  Or it will be stupendous.

I don’t know, you tell me in the comments.

What I can tell you is that I’m optimistic about tonight’s lottery.  I think I’m going to win.  Before I bought the two first tickets I wrote out a page in my journal about how I was a lottery winner, and drank my first glass of wine.

Then I went out and bought the first two tickets.

Then I ran out of cigarettes and went out and bought two more.

So I spent 8 dollars on lottery tickets today, and I’m praying I’ll win.  I’m praying to the universe, to my subconscious mind.

And what I’m hoping is that MY subconscious mind is powerful enough to influence a national lottery game.

Maybe I’m trying to catch the breeze with this one.

Maybe I’ll just buy my tickets and hope I win but do no more than that.

I doubt it.  I’ll probably never quit, and keep the faith, and eventually win.

I might even win a few times.  Just to win more money.  Just to be a winner.

If I could design it that’s what would happen.  I would win big several times.

I’m hoping that the 165 million on the line tonight is already mine.

I’ll write about it if I win.  I’ll also release my website in the press interview and get loads of traffic.

Then the world could see what I’m really all about.

Having schizophrenia, and drinking and smoking, and working a job, and taking care of my family, and cleaning the house, and writing, and playing guitar, and being a brother, and being a friend, and loving food, and dancing.

Well maybe not so much the dancing, but it’s more of a metaphor.

The dance of life.

And part of what I want to tell the world is that I love my wife.  So for all of you ladies out there, I’m taken, and I don’t plan on going back to a life of cheating any time soon.

I just want to raise our family in our dream home, and take lots of vacations all over the world.

I’m going to get my testes snipped so it will be impossible for us to have any more children.

And the vacation after that procedure will probably be well worth it.

It will be, and I intend to make it happen.

But really, I don’t think I can impose my will onto the universe.  Part of me thinks people just win the lottery.  There’s hardly ever any will involved.  People win by chance.

Sure maybe they get feelings like they are going to win, but I make myself have those everyday, and I haven’t won.  Of course that doesn’t mean I won’t win tonight.

I’ve already done a lot of work to win the jackpot.  I think it’s only a matter of time.  I would be famous if that happened, and this website and the Jesse Creel brand would explode.

How did I do it?

I drank and smoked, and played to win.  I wrote in my journal and I worked hard everyday.  I got to a place where I was secure at my job.  I succeeded at my job.  I helped my family.  I got to a better place.  I recovered from a loss.  Then I won the jackpot.  Then I got everything I wanted.  It was a miracle.  It was my special time.  I was a multi millionaire.

That’s how the story goes.

That’s how my story goes.  And if it’s madness I don’t care.  I like it and I’m a valuable part of society.  I deliver food.

Hopefully your reading this and I am already a multimillionaire.  Maybe you want to learn how to do the same for your own life.  I tell you my secret.  Never give up.

Even if the voices tell you that your wrong and your doing bad things, and things will never work out, and your going to die, you can STILL work a job and be a effective member of your family and your community.

Take the next step further like I do and keep a blog and you’ll start to influence the whole world.

There are going to be some special people that find your work and read your blog.  They will leave comments and tell you what they think about it.  Most of them will be nice.  You will like getting comments.  Subscribers would be better, but comments are still good.  They let you know how your doing.

And along with my own self navigation and the comments, I am lead to believe I’m doing good.  And I want more.  I must write.  I must deliver the content.  To the masses.  To my people.  To my good people.  The good people of the world.

Delusional?

I would say that “All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.” -Ambrose Bierce

If I win the jackpot they will probably call me a prophet.  If I don’t a madman.

I’d rather have the former.

And I’m optimistic that I will.

Maybe I might lose some readers, but I stand to gain fame and fortune.

Time will tell what happens.

For now I stay optimistic.

I do the work on the lottery, though I don’t know that my work of writing and praying really does anything to your chances of winning.  Spiritually I think it does have an effect on your life.  Praying to win.  But I do it, because I never give up and I MUST win.  And if I get going once, I’m probably going to want to win a couple more times too, and I’m going to write about the whole thing.  It really should be spectacular.

And I do rock and roll albums too.

I have one in the works.

You can hear a sample of me playing guitar and singing here.

It’s not much.  It’s only about 10 years worth of work.  Maybe there is such a thing as not being able to work it into a success, but I can’t accept that.

I MUST keep doing what I do, even if it’s not good.

It’s all I know how to do.

I’m probably just too hard on myself, and I’m really great, I just need to keep working.

So keep working I will.

On this blog, on my job, on my life, on my family, on my friends, on the things that are important most to me.  Drinking and smoking the whole way through it.

But maybe I’ll win the jackpot tonight.  I’m very optimistic that I will.  And that I’ll have a good story to tell about it.  And that’s going to happen or I’m going to write for the rest of my life about it and be a loser.

Die empty handed.

I guess in the end it doesn’t matter anyways.  I say go for it.  It may be on the edge of madness but it’s also on the brink of genius.  Then again, that’s just what I think, go ahead and form your own opinion.  Am I mad?

Maybe if I got sober I would stand a better chance at manifesting a lottery win.  Maybe not.  All I know is my story could either be a really sad one or a really happy one, depending on how you look at it.

All I know is that people are going to call me a saint after I’ve given away some of my winnings to charity.

It’s going to be sinfully glorious to help other people out.  Going to burn in hell but at least I can live it up while I’m here.

Maybe I’ll be forgiven, Jesus afterall is a forgiver.

But you probably have to stop what your doing for him to forgive you and I am, still drinking and smoking.

I hope the best life for you,

Thanks for reading,

Jesse Creel

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