Personal and Professional Development Through Blogging

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Tag: Love (Page 1 of 2)

Blogging Mountain

The Blog About Blogging

Blogging Mountain

The Mountaintop of 9 Million Dollars A Year

I wanted to name my blog “The Blog About Blogging” because I want it to be a resource people can come to in order to find the inspiration to blog today.  And blog well.

The funny thing about blogging is that it’s what’s on your mind.  How would you be able to write about anything else?  The issue is to make the things on your mind about good things.  At least it is for me.  I imagine my experience is like everyone else’s experience, except with my own unique twist.  As is yours.  It’s our own unique twists.  We’re all sharing the same experience.

Granted some are more far out there than others.  I can say truthfully, mine is pretty far out there.  As far out there as one of the few jackpot winners, or something better.  If you could make 9 million dollars a year off your blog for the rest of your life, that would be better than getting 9 million dollars a year for 25 years from the lottery.  It can be done.

But this blog is about blogging.  It’s about becoming a professional blogger (whenever that happens).  It’s about the mission to make $1,000 a month off a Convertkit business.  I figure if I put it out there that I want 112 Convertkit referrals then there’s a better chance I’ll GET 112 Convertkit referrals.  It’s all about the law of attraction, part of the reason I love writing and blogging.  Because it appeals to the law of attraction.  Like attracts like.  If you write like a millionaire then there’s no stopping the millions coming in, let alone a $1,000 a month income.

But really all this could be crap and I could just be writing for the hobby of it.  Not that that is going to stop me from opening up these channels of expression, where money could come into my life, at these common hours where I’m just doing nothing.

But i’m not going to be doing nothing.  I’m going to be blogging.  Blogging because I have a mission and a message.  That’s what this blog is really all about.  It’s about helping people blog everyday, to build their brand, and make more money.

When it comes to a blog about blogging why not write about your day job.  That could help somebody.  Could let them in on what your doing to make your income.  In my case it’s not even hard to make an income, except on those occasions when it is.  This is really not meant to be a random rant, but more a message to you that you too can blog.  And it can be a meaningful experience to you.

All I know is that more posts, the more chances you have at getting some traffic, so I say, blog on.  Of course you want to be reading other people’s blogs too, and commenting on them, and even asking bloggers if you can guest post for them.  These are the things I’ve learned that will help you to stand out as a blogger at this point.  So far I’ve commented some, written a lot, and haven’t yet asked anyone if I can guest post on their site.  I have that one in the works.

But I’ve got to find a way to get some natural traffic to this site.  I need a lot more subscribers, and a lot more clicks on my ads, and a lot more traffic.  I know I can do this, I’ve just got to take baby steps.  Working from home, even when your making no money, can still be a rocking time.  It would be a lot more rocking if you got your first commission, but I think you and me can do that together, blogging.

And doing all the other things that come along with building a business from scratch, like passing out your business cards to anyone that will take one.  Another being working your day job like your life depends on it, because it does!

The way I see it is, you put enough work into your blog, it’s going to pay you.  The way I see it is, you’ve got a solid 2 years of content creation before you even make a cent so you may as well get busy writing.  It’s beautiful anyway.  You may as well enjoy the writing.  Put that work in though, I believe we all have a $1,000 a month business in us.

You may call me too optimistic, but the way I see it is, the future is bright, brighter than comprehension.  We are all getting better everyday, and you can smell it.  It smells like sweat.  It smells like lazy creativeness.  It smells like your loving money.  It smells like you’ve got a savings account.  It smells like you can spend money.  It smells like you’re for the highest good of all you encounter.

You may say this is too far out there.  I challenge you to go with the flow and be destined for success.  Whether it’s in your day job, the lottery, or your blog you can have success in all of those things.  Just remember that things work on God’s time, so don’t expect it to happen on your time, but it will happen on God’s time.

Blogging about blogging is freeing.  You can say anything you want.  You can be a Youpreneur.  You can build your own personal brand.  You can get everyone you know on your email list and get so good at writing that they have to tell their friends about it, and then you will grow more.  It will snowball all the way down the hill.  Part of the reason, blogging, and life really, is so attractive.  Especially when your working towards something.  Taking baby steps.  Taking action.  It’s really really nice.

1,000 words is nothing in what you mean to me as a reader.  I’m going to have books for sale, one thing I’m working on is reading all the books I’m buying myself, but there’s going to be plenty of me to entertain, inspire, and delight you.  I encourage you to sign up for my email list, if you haven’t already.  Watch this video and put your email address in the box.  You’ll get only my best stuff sent right to your inbox.  I promise you’ll be happy you did.

Blogging

Blogging About You

Blogging

Blogging is a great way to develop personally and professionally.

This blog is designed to help you blog.  Today’s post is to provide you inspiration to write your next (or first) post.  This blog post is entitled “Blogging About You” because I want to inspire you to know that you are interesting.  We all are like snowflakes that will only be remembered by how we fly and where we fall.  That’s why your life is so important to your blog.  Because your brand and your blog are about your story, it’s important you live a good life, so your blog will be of good quality.  Here are some examples.

Get Good At Saving Money

If you want to be a professional blogger then it’s going to help to be able to save money.  When you have money saved you have the ability to pay cash for ads.  You don’t even need to involve a credit card.  I just recently bought an ad and it cost me $40 and I got 40 clicks and 1 subscriber.  It’s better than getting no subscribers but I still think I can do better.  It’s all a matter of how much work I put into the blog, what I get out of it.  So as with saving money, I’m going to do my best to put all the hours I can into this blog, so I get maximum returns and can then save more money.

Be Good To Your Family

I’m not saying that you aren’t already good to your family.  I am saying being good to your family will help you with your blogging.  For example, Google will only show ads on family friendly sites, that means no crazy content.  When you’re good to your family it will show in your writing and in your videos, and your blog will be better off for it.  The million dollar post starts at home, just like my grandfather said charity starts at home.  Give to your family first, before homeless people and you’ll be living a life worth living.  When your giving to your family, even if it’s only your time, you’ll be putting yourself in a position of responsibility and I know that you’ll live up to the chore.  Not only will it be a chore but it will be a pleasure.  All you give comes back to you a hundred fold, so it’s in your best interest to be a giver.  Take responsibility and be good to your family, not that you already don’t.

Support The People You Work With

How you behave at your day job is important to your personality and your blog.  When you are in the business of giving it’s a no brainer to support your fellow co-workers.  This is a personal blog, and in the interest of being personal I’ll tell you that I’m better at dealing with people one on one than I am in groups of them.  I’m proud to say that I can hold my own in a group.  I’m also proud to say that I can really connect with people when we’re one on one.  So really, it’s not just about doing tasks involved with work with these other people, to help them with the goal, but it’s also caring about what they are doing outside of work, their personal lives that is also important.  Care about other people’s families, their interests, what moves them to action.  Give thanks to God for your lot.  Tend it, and take good care of it.  Personally, sometimes I have issues speaking up.  I find myself not knowing what to say.  I know sometimes I need to say something, but it’s one of those pleasure chores where it takes work to get it out.  It’s all about getting along in the world for me.  And that takes getting along with your coworkers.  So that it’s a good atmosphere.  Try thinking about supporting your coworkers as you punch in tomorrow and see how your day goes.  It may feel like gratitude.

Loving Your Blog

If your going to blog about you, you definitely need to love both you and your blog.  Of course you need to love yourself first and your blog second, seeing as your blog is coming from you, and without you loving yourself, there would be no blog to love.   It’s a beautiful interconnection between your blog and you.  It’s the best of you, all there for the whole world to see.  You may even want to go beyond free content and sell something!  I know it’s easy to love when your making money off it.  So why don’t we make it easy on ourselves and strive to make money with our efforts?  It’s a noble effort blogging for income, isn’t it?  What if our dreams came true and we DID make a $1,000 part time monthly income off it?  Wouldn’t we be deep in the depths of loving ourselves and our blogs?  I have read that the more love you put into something, the more money it’s going to pay you.  If you follow that rule then your going to get paid a lot when you blog the way we do.

Blogging About You Is Hard Work

I’m not going to lie to you.  I’m going to give you the honest truth.  Blogging for profit or otherwise is hard work.  It takes commitment, dedication, as close to daily action as you can take it, and vision.  You have to have the vision that you can change the world.  In order for you to change the world you’re going to have to be the best you can be, and that means a rock solid personal life.  Something you can blog about with pride and enthusiasm.  Shaping your personal life into something you can be proud of is going to take work.  It’s going to take you being your own boss.  And not just any boss, but a great boss.  Someone who motivates you to work, long hard hours with enthusiasm.  Be your own leader than can write posts that are worth more money to you.  That takes hard work.  But if you’ve made it this far in the post, I know you’re willing to do the hard work to make money.  Just know that it’s going to be hard and your not in for good times.  Your earnings are going to be pathetic when you first start.  That doesn’t mean you can’t build.  Just keep the faith in yourself and work towards a higher good.  The rewards are so worth the effort.

Final Words

Blogging about you is injecting yourself into your blog.  You’ll get back what you put out there.  Do me, you, and everyone else a favor and do a good job.  You’ll be happy you did.

If you liked this post, subscribe to my email list, if you haven’t already, and you’ll get a free ebook, and the best posts from this site delivered right to your inbox.  You won’t be sorry!

Money and Love and Blogging

Blogging For The Money and The Love Of It

Money and Love and Blogging

Blogging For The Money And The Love

I got 4 more subscribers in the matter of two days.  Blogging for the money and the love of it is definitely the way to go.  I’ve also made $.03 in the last week from ads.  I know it’s not much but it’s my first earnings off this blog in it’s almost 2 year existence so it’s really a milestone.

My message here is that no matter how small your results, if your in the game, your doing something.  It makes you feel good that your being a service to people with your own personal brand.  It’s YOU they are buying when they sign up for your email list and click your ads.  In short order they are going to be buying your ebooks and courses from your webinars.  I say it now, my goal is to have a full time income by the year 2020.  That gives me almost another 2 years to get my act together.  Don’t get me wrong though, if you don’t have a blog yet, you can still get a lot out of this.

I’ve been blogging for almost 2 years now and I can tell you when your doing it for the love of it, it’s a lot better than slaving away at it.  You probably already apply love into your job, why not do it with a blog too?  You’d be building a personal brand, and your growth has only one direction to go, especially when your starting, and that is up.  Plus when your building an email list, you get real world people on there and you can see how you treat them now that they are on your list.  You better be good.

When you are talking about your email list out in the world you are opening up channels to get subscribers.  It doesn’t have to rely on the internet alone.  It could be the people at your job, or a gas station attendant.  It could be a salesperson.  The value here is that you are doing it for the love of building relationships with people by serving them valuable material.  You are an expert at you so there is nothing stopping you from being a valuable part of someone’s life.  And this really goes beyond blogging as well.  You could do it in anything.  Any job.  You are still you at any job, even if it’s blogging, and you can be of service to people.  I’m simply saying with blogging, it’s more of a thrill.  Especially if your a little introverted.  Not saying it doesn’t work too for outgoing people.

When your blogging for the love of it, the money comes second.  It’s a thrill when you get it, but that’s not the reason your doing it.  For me it’s all about being of service to other people.  I just want to inspire them to start blogs of their own, make money, and partly live to love their blogs and the relationships it brings.  Maybe if you don’t have a lot of relationships it would be nice to have a giant email list you could email whenever you wanted.  Just to talk to somebody.  I bet that would bring enjoyment.  Plus if your good your going to be able to make money from blogging.

Which is what I wanted to talk about next, is the money part of blogging.  I mentioned I made $.03.  I’ll tell you exactly how I did it and why it’s just that beautiful.

I had tried selling Amazon books on my site, but the problem with Amazon is there is a time limit for you to sell 3 books or you can’t be an affiliate.  I think they give you something like 6 months to reach that goal or they don’t let you stay open.  I could still sell some books because my time limit hasn’t been reached yet, but I like what I’m doing now as there is no time limit and I’m already seeing results.

That method of monetization is Google Adsense.  That’s where my money is coming from right now, but I know it’s going to be a pittance when I start selling ebooks and courses off webinars and start earning real money.  Right now I’m not walking that walk so let me talk to you about what I am doing, which is earning pennies, which may be enough to get you excited, but there’s more to be hoped for.  Maybe that is a poverty mentality that is holding me back from success.  Maybe I should affirm that I am a professional blogger and get all the money I could ever want.

I can tell you going from nothing to $.03 in a week is still exciting.  It’s progress.  I’m moving in the right direction.  I’m also in the process of getting some of my own ads put out there on Google to drive traffic to my landing page, where I’ll get subscribers.  I’ll let you know how that goes, I’m sure that I’ll get a result, I just don’t know anything other than it’s going to be good.  You’ll be sure to find out when you subscribe to my email list, if your not on it already.  Do that now. I am a Convertkit affiliate and there is a link in my free ebook to buy so I might get lucky and score some referrals AND email subscribers off my ad.  It’s all very exciting and I want you to be in on it.  When your on my list I’ll also let you know when I reach the $100 threshold in Adsense and they will actually pay me.  And you can learn how to do the exact same thing from being on my email list.

I would also love to hear your comments, please leave them below.  What are you in love with?  What do you do more for the love of it, than for the money?  I’d love to hear it.

 

 

For Bloggers Who want affirmations to be professional bloggers.

Law Of Attraction Affirmations For Professional Bloggers

For Bloggers Who want affirmations to be professional bloggers.

Business man success in job.

I believe in the law of attraction, even though I have my difficulties in it.  There’s no need to get into the difficulties though.  The beauty about the law of attraction is that it will give you whatever you are thinking about.  In different ways.

I wanted to write down some affirmations for us so that we could become better professional bloggers.  So that we could be aided in our quest by the power of repetition with our thoughts.  Without getting into my personal story lets dive right into the affirmations.

Law of Attraction Affirmations For Professional Bloggers

  1. I am a professional blogger.
  2. I have a successful Convertkit affiliate business.
  3. I have a profitable ebook.
  4. I make money off Adsense,
  5. I use pictures in every post.
  6. I have a growing email list.
  7. My debts are all paid off.
  8. I have a huge savings account.
  9. I enjoy spending money on ads for my blog.
  10. I am always becoming better.
  11. I am becoming more profitable with every breath I take.
  12. I am becoming stronger with every day, every holiday.
  13. I am a man, and I am a professional blogger.
  14. I am a dad, and I am a professional blogger.
  15. I am a husband, and I have retired my wife.
  16. Every blog post I type is better than the last

Try experimenting with one or many of these affirmations throughout your day.  See the positive results in changing your mindset.  With work everyday, you’ll begin to see results and once you see those results you’ll be hooked.  It will be you working more to get better results.

Thanks for reading.  I don’t have much to say on the law of attraction because I believe action trumps visualization, but still I think affirmations are a valuable tool we can use to program our consciousness.  I hope you get great results using particularly the affirmation, ” I am a professional blogger”.

Take care and if you haven’t yet sign up for my email list, do so now.  Also, my list has a special place in my heart, and I work to show it.  Just want to let you know that it will change your life or your money back, so to speak.

 

 

Blogging Is Far Superior To Winning The Lottery

With blogging you can make a million dollars a year.

That’s as much as the lottery would pay you if you matched 6 numbers on a single ticket for one of the baseline jackpots of 40 million dollars.

And just think, if you want that extra hour of blogging because you want to take massive action in the direction of your dream, you are working by putting hours and hours into the action of typing.  Of creating art.  Of creating business.  Of staying consistent.  I’ve been reading some interesting books and they talk a lot about feelings.

Neville Goddard was the main inspiration, in my opinion, for Wayne Dyer’s book “Wishes Fulfilled”.  Neville’s teachings are based around imagination and feeling, and God, which is documented in the book I’m loving reading right now “Wishes Fulfilled.

Get your copy by clicking this picture (I’ll get paid):

In it he says a lot about how you should think that you’re God, because that’s what Jesus taught us to do.  “The kingdom of God is within” He said.  Dyer says that when you believe you are God, you can live the life you want to live.  That’s my short and skinny of it.  That’s just to put it into my own words.

To be honest I’ve been putting what I’ve been reading in “Wishes Fulfilled” into action in my thoughts.  I’ve been thinking thoughts about how “I am Love” and sometimes “I am God”  and sometimes “I am a problogger”.  And sometimes “I am healthy wealthy and wise”.  Dyer says that by using the “I Am” which is what God said to Moses in the burning bush “I am that I Am.  Dyer says to use your I am’s with responsibility to the loving light that you are.  I far prefer writing about this than writing about what I would do with the money when I win the lottery.  Or just visualizing it, which is what I would do often instead of writing.

There’s been a few things that have set me off on this path of evolution to love blogging.    One being Schizophrenia, one being personal development, and one being just blogging itself.  This is what I have come to discover about  my blog and my business.  What I’ve really been doing though is imagining and feeling like I’m healthy, wealthy, happy, and wise.

Here’s a sample of the affirmations:

I am healthy.

I am wealthy.

I am wise.

I am a problogger.

I am a lottery winner (just in case)

I am happy.

I am fulfilled.

I am Love.

All things can be done with God.

I am healed.

 

These are just a few of the affirmations I use everyday.  When it comes to visualization time these days, I visualize and feel what it feels like to be healthy, wealthy, and wise, and Happy!

When your a schizophrenic and the voices tell you “YOUR NOT!” when you affirm your healthy you have to learn to embrace your superpower.  That superpower is to be the ultimate guardian of your imagination and your feelings.  There is a large “NO INTRUDERS!” sign on the door of your consciousness.  No one else is allowed into your mind.  Not even the voices that come from it.

When they shout “YOUR NOT!” at me I have several tools that I would like to share with you on how a schizophrenic, or anyone else for that matter who has their own self doubts, could harness the power of their own thinking, and use it to benefit their lives.

Nonsense

When you have a voice, or a thought if your normal, that tells you your not healthy I recommend you say one word.  That word is”nonsense”.

There are other words you could use, and I will mention some here, but think about nonsense for a moment.  Imagine what would happen if when you had a self doubt about whether you could do something or not you just repeated the word nonsense when the thought, image or feeling came up, what would happen next?

Maybe you would ask yourself the question, “How do I benefit from this?” or maybe, if your proclaiming to your mind and body that you are indeed “Love” by saying “I AM LOVE” maybe you would hear a new voice, or have a new thought, that was empowering.

To be honest I’m now drawing a blank on what other words you could use to combat self doubt, but in my mind I no doubt use them.  “Nonsense” is just my favorite and is also used by others to combat their own inner negativity.

This is a little about all three things, the schizophrenia, personal development, and blogging.  That’s my story, and it’s one of beauty and magnificence.

This is what I’m really really good at, and if your thinking about starting a blog, rest easy, because your going to be nothing when you start.  You’ll be an unheard of nobody, like everybody else who started with nothing and got everything.  This is why I like blogging so much better than playing the lottery.  You can put hours and hours of typing (actually producing something, instead of just visualizing your hours away) about things you really care about in your life.  Like helping people, or serving others.  You could be writing about how you value everyone like they are a family member, and just do your best to be of service to people.  If you put the hours in, in a God ordained profession, success will come without fail.  God cannot fail.  You just have to find your calling.  When you think blogging is your calling, I’m your man.

If your thinking that I said I was going to win a massive jackpot and then changed my mind to being a problogger, then you might be thinking I’ll have about as much success getting a million dollars a year blogging as I would at matching 6 numbers on a 40 million dollar jackpot.  To that I would say nonsense.

Switching my affirmations from lottery winner to professional blogger is a wise decision because I’m don’t spend my all my free time visualizing a lottery win.  Instead I’m writing and I find that to be a more productive activity than visualization alone.  That settles that objection, what’s next?

I don’t think there is anything next.  There’s no downside to switching your thinking from being a lottery winner to being a professional blogger.  A problogger.  The I am that I am that God said he was.  The manifesting of problogging.

” I am a problogger.”

What’s the harm in saying that to yourself as you visualize?  And try to feel what it feels like to be a problogger.  Feel the feelings of being a problogger.  They say that your destiny is in your feelings.  I would say the benefit of spending all that time visualizing and feeling like a lottery winner did me good (even though I didn’t win a big jackpot) because it taught me how to visualize, and how to feel good.  I can easily use my powers to visualize and feel what it’s like to be a problogger to manifest money using my blog.  Really, to Earn money off my blog.  When your putting hours and hours into it, your earning it.  But I would say that mastery of blogging is a worthwhile pursuit even if you don’t get paid for it.

I believe that if you would do it even if you didn’t get paid, you’ll get better results.  Sure, we can work to get paid, but we do it for much more than the money.  That’s why blogging is superior to winning the lottery.  With the lottery you don’t get the connections with other people in a work related way.  You do with blogging.  And once you start to build your email list, you’ll be growing and it’s never going to stop.  You’ll always be bigger today than you we’re yesterday.

The downside is there’s no immediate payoff.

That said, with blogging, a lot of experts will tell you that you can start to earn money from it by the six month mark.  I was in a network marketing company that trained their people to do it in 90 days.  It can be fast!

That would definitely entail a lot of hours, work ethic, wisdom, and health.  You don’t need a lot of money to start a blog so I don’t include money in that list.  Although you can pay big like I did and join a network marketing company for $5,000 and get their “masters course”.  Now instead of network marketing, blogging has chosen me and I’ve chosen it, so there’s no need to buy all the expensive products.

Now if you had an email list of 2,000 buyers then it might make sense to join the $5,000 opportunity.  You could stand to earn a lot of money with your resources.  But just starting, with no blog, no traffic, no comments, and no list I would recommend you just buy the domain, the hosting, and the email list and get to writing.  That’s how the big people did it, they had the blog first, and then they bought the expensive product they could re sell.  They already had a list of buyers!

Just think how exciting that first sale is going to be.  It is going to feel like you won the jackpot.  Just think how much more your capable of and take action.  Maybe that action is to read on and then join my email list.  Maybe that action is to ask yourself the question “what does it feel like to be a problogger?”.  Is that action to get your own blog and start on your own 90 journey to results?  Is that action to write your first blog post or leave your first long comment on someone else’s blog?  Is that action to start your email list?  Whatever it is, take action.

Put hours and hours into the writing.  You’ll be spending more time taking action than you could ever visualize with presence of mind for.  At a certain point with visualization you’re just sitting there daydreaming or in misery that you can’t do anything else to get what you want.  That is again why the action of blogging is better than the action of playing to win the lottery.

And as I started with in the beginning, I believe it is possible to earn a million dollars a year off of one’s blog.  Sure that’s a big goal, but you can’t get big without big goals.  Besides even if you fall short you’ll still have made SOME money off your blog, and some is better than none.  I shot for a jackpot win and didn’t get it, but I did win $50 off of a dollar scratch off ticket.  I imagine your chances of making a lot more than $50 off blogging are better than making it off playing the lottery.  And if you do have the big goal you have the potential to earn as much as you could win.

This is why blogging is better than playing the lottery.

I hope this has inspired you to blog harder than you play the lottery.  I know the change has been good for me and I hope that this serves you as well.

Feel free to check back for new posts.

 

Blogging Is For Me

I started a second job yesterday.  It was at a pizza and sub place.  I fried fries and other fried things.  It wasn’t that busy, but busy enough.  I did a good enough job that they invited me back to come to work today, but I didn’t go.

I realized that blogging was for me.  I only work part time at my day job and it was getting me down that I didn’t get enough work during the year to pay my debt, so I took a second job.  I worked the first day and realized that it was time to get serious about blogging, so here I am, blogging.  I didn’t go to work.

You could say that this was a mistake.  I have a debt to repay.  You could also say that I don’t earn any money from my blog, so why do I focus on something that’s not paying me?  The answer is that I believe it will pay me, and I love to do it, and I had a teacher at some point in my life that said “do what you love and the money will follow”.  I have a day job and I’m not losing that, so with my free time I can either work another job or work the life into this blog.  I choose to work the life into my writing.

I will earn a living writing, blah blah blah.  It takes the walk to walk it.  I intend to walk the walk.  I’m not just talking the talk.  I’m taking action by writing, and that’s walking the walk.  I’m in love with this blogging thing.

The question is, how do I make a million dollars?

I’ve been thinking about writing a romance novel.  Different from my blogging, but still I think I could do it, and I think it could be a hit.  I’m not going to give anything away here, but just know that it’s in the works and I’m going to make writing a part time gig, so there’s going to be plenty of it flowing from the basement of my little townhouse.

Soon to big a bigger house.

I’m not going to stop until my family is taken care of.  I don’t care what it takes, I’m going to be of service.  I know that I’m valuable.  I know that I can be of service.  I’m going to make it happen for me and for them, and it’s going to be a win win for everybody.

I have to pound the keys until the words come out.  I will do this over and over again until I have a blog post, and a novel, and a personal development book, and everything I want to have.  Words are powerful, they have a creative nature.  I have a creative nature.

Are your words prophetic or pathetic?  Are they positive or negative?  The choices you make will effect your life.  Are you ready for a better life, or are you just waiting on the sidelines?  I encourage you to get in there and get the job done.

I’m going to be writing a lot in the future, from this point forward, because I’ve decided that blogging is for me, writing is for me.  I want to master it, for the love of it, for more than money.  So I’m going to keep working on this thing.  I’m going to write for a living.

This blogging thing is for me.  I know I can do it.  I know I can earn $100,000 a year off my blog.  I’ve already been at it for a while, so I figure the payoff is near.  I’m not going to stop until I’ve reached my goals, and then I’m going to press on for the love of it.

How can I be of value to you?

I can tell you that I am Love.  I am God as sure as if God was the ocean, I am a bucket of water.  I’m not saying I’m above anyone.  I’m only saying that we all are God, and I’m a piece of that.  I am divine.  How does that serve you?  To let you in on a little secret, that you are divine as well.

We are all God.  We are Love.  Love is what keeps the world going.  Without it there would be no order, harmony, or peace.  Sure there is some strife in the world, but rest easy, Love is God, and you are Love.

Jesus said with God all things are possible.  In other words, if you embrace the Love that you are, you are capable of anything.  Even if that thing is winning the lottery.  There are many many people who will try to win and fail for their entire lives, but because You are God, You will find a way (even if it’s the lottery) to ensure that your family lives a good life.  That is the Word, that is Holy.

This writing thing is going to be a part time job for me.  I work my day job from 10-2 and I have plenty of free time to write.  I’m going to make it happen for all that is good in the world.  I’m going to make it happen for you and me.  I’m going to make it happen for my family.  More than that, I’m going to make it happen for the world.

For the Love of blogging I write these words.  How can this serve you?  It can serve to empower you to know that you can write too, even if it’s not paying you.  Home based business can be a rough ride, so I’m here to help you stay the course.  Keep on blogging, keep on writing, keep on taking action.  I’m doing it so there’s no reason you can’t.

If you are an aspiring writer I would say to you, write like the fury.  The fury you have within you to be a success.  Write that way.  Let nothing stop you.  You won’t be stopped.  It’s better than working too many jobs.  Go on with your bad self and let the world know you care.

This blogging thing is for me.  I don’t care what happens.  I could work my part time job for the rest of my life and take 10 years to pay off my measly $16,000 in credit card debt and then live a painfully comfortable lifestyle in our little townhouse for the rest of our lives.  Put my son in the basement when he gets too old to sleep in the same room as his older sister.

He wouldn’t have his own room, but he would be sleeping in a different room, and we could do that in our little townhouse.  So I would never have to have the stress of hitting the lottery and moving us into a bigger house.  We could live comfortably, and poorly, in our little townhouse in Pasadena, MD.

I have other plans though.

The question is how can I serve you?

I frequently ask the question to myself: how can I be of service?

I have a hard time answering that question.

But that’s just the story I’ve been telling myself.

Instead I could ask the question, or state the answer as I have a million ideas on what I could write.  Even if I have no ideas on what I could write.

This leads me to answers.  Inside of myself.  These questions.

Ideas on what to write.

I’m going to keep this writing thing going and see where it takes me.  I’d like to make a profession out of it, and I think I will.  What’s the value here?  Note this: I’ve been working on this blog since May of 2016.  I’m still working on it.  It’s not because I’m getting paid to do it (although I treat it as if I am), I do it for the love of it, because it feels right to do.  The value for you?  If you really love something, you can at least keep doing it for a year and and 7 months, even without pay.  If you really want to cook with fire do it everyday for at least 4 hours a day and you’ll have it mastered in 11 years.  I’d say long before you have it mastered you’ll have a million dollar income.

Write books, that’s what I say.  This really is for writers.  For those that want to write because that’s what they love to do.  The way I figure it is, you can work in sweat pants and a hoodie and you can still do your best work!  It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing.  I think I’m going to get back into affiliate marketing.  All this writing makes me hungry for more money.  I’ve heard good things about Wealthy Affiliate.

I have to get a refresher on Wealthy Affiliate before I say anything more about it.  But just know that this blogging thing, this writing thing, is for me.  What are you about?  I encourage you to leave a comment on this post about what you are about.  If it’s writing we are kindred spirits.  If it’s not we are still both people and we are alive because of Love.  So we have at least that in common.  That’s just the way I see things, so if you disagree, leave a comment about that as well.  Love it or hate it, leave a comment.  Do you like to write too?

I like to write about personal development, Schizophrenia, working my day job, drinking alcohol and vaping, drinking coffee and writing and vaping, and I’ve recently discovered ideas on what a fictional novel could be like to write.  The point is I love writing, and I am determined to be of service to you.

If your on my list and you don’t like writing, then maybe you should unsubscribe.  But if your curious about writing, or am already in love with it, maybe you should hang in there and get to my best stuff that I’m writing with each passing day.  If your reading this I’m guessing that you may be like me, and if your like me, as you continue to do something, you get better at it.  Granted, somethings you might be able to do and other things you may not be able to do.  But I know that everybody has something they CAN do, and do well, so we may as write if we think we write well.

That’s the thing about thinking.  I think it was Henry Ford that said “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, either way you’re right”.  If you think you’re a great writer then your chances of becoming a great writer I think are way better.

You may suck, you may suck at first, and you may still suck the day you die, but there’s one thing for sure:  You’ll suck less by the time you die if you keep working on it everyday.

On the other hand, you may be great.  And again, for sure, you’ll be greater by the time you die if you keep working on it everyday.

The choice is yours.  Do you want to think you suck?

Or

Do you want to think you are Great.

Personally, I think that choice is an easy one.

Or maybe we all suck and are Great at the same time.

Personally, as I think it should be with all writers, is to aim to be Great.  Be determined to be Great.  Take on a massive challenge: the challenge to earn big money with Your Writing, and Make Something Great.

Are you up to that challenge?

Leave your answer in the comments below, and subscribe to my email list.  It’s all about blogging and the quest to earn well more than a full time living off of it, and your writing.

You can always respond to one of the emails you get from me, and I’ll get it sent right to my inbox, and we could talk about how I could better serve you, or whatever it is you’d like to talk about.  I’ll do my best to serve you.

Thanks for reading, I’ll write again soon.

Slamming Your Fists Onto The Keyboard Until The Words Come Out

When I’m having a hard time thinking of what to write, slamming my fists onto the keyboard is a common visualization I have.

They say it takes 10,000 hours to master something.  If you put in an hour a day it’s going to take you over 27 years to master it.  We’ve, you and me, got to put more time in than an hour a day because I know that 27 years is too long a time to wait for mastery.

But all you can do is all you can do.  I only have an hour to write this before I have to go to bed for my job in the morning.  At least I am making the time to get creative today.  I MUST write.  I must create.  I am a visionary, and my vision leads me to serving people.  I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I’m going to do it, and step 1 is to just write.

Today I put in some applications for a second job.  On one particular application I had to explain why I was terminated from a job.  A painful explanation, but an honest one.  I simply state because of the schizophrenia (which I now consider a superpower) I was in the wrong state of mind and made a bad decision.  I will probably never be hired by that particular employer.  Still, I’m going to pick up a second job for more reasons than I can state, and it’s going to happen quickly.

Soon I’ll have very little free time.  I’m still going to blog though.  I’m still going to metaphorically slam my fists upon the keyboard until the words come out.  I’m going to cry and sweat and bleed until I have great writing.  I’m never going to stop blogging, because it is a passion, and although sometimes I don’t like blogging because of my issues with myself, I still love it.

I’m going to be one of the Greats.  I’m going to have best selling books.  My blog is a training ground for writing my best writing.  I’m going to come up with some really great ideas and make many many books out of them.  I’m speaking my world into existence.

Blogging is not just a hobby for me, it’s a lifestyle.  The pain and the agony of coming up with a good title, something that I hope will serve people, takes me a while to get to.  Sure enough, I always come up with something.  I’m doing the right thing by expressing myself, which is why I believe that blogging is so powerful.  Granted, it’s not the only way to express yourself (I’m well aware there are many ways) but it’s my way, and I love my ways.  I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past but the person those mistakes has caused me to become satisfies me and makes me feel like I am right in the head after all.  I’m a schizophrenic so you may disagree with my prior statement, but I know that the schizophrenia isn’t a disease, it’s actually a superpower.  I know my own mind better because of it, and I can call out the nonsense as it arises and find super empowering ways to think.  These thoughts lead me to taking empowering actions, and these actions (although small but daily) help to improve my overall life.

One thing I’ve got to improve upon in my life is exercise.  Today I went for a mile walk in the cold.  It’s January 2nd, 2018 so it’s cold outside in Maryland.  Not as cold as Boston, but cold.  I went for the walk anyways.  It felt good to move.  I could really use some weight training or running, but I like walking and can easily handle it.  My plan is to start doing pushups, squats, and crunches first thing in the morning when I get up at 6 am.  I’ve never been an early riser, but I have gone through periods where I’ve gotten up at 6am.  I want to get up at 6am everyday and exercise first thing.  When I do this I know I will be starting my day in a positive way that will set the tone for the entire day.  It may make me more tired but I don’t care.  There is the chance that it will further energize me, and make my overall life easier.  So I’m going to try and if I have to try and try again to make exercise a priority and do it first thing in the early morning, I’m going to do it.

One thing about my blogging that crosses my mind is that no one will ever read what I write.  When I think those thoughts I have to tell myself that I’m doing this for more than one reason.  Besides, when I become a great writer and have multiple best selling books then people will be able to come back to my blog and read what I’ve written here.  They will be able to read all the works I’ve written that lead me up to becoming a best selling author.  My blog will be a case study on how writers can be a zero and then earn something really great for themselves.  On top of that, I plan to keep the money I earn from writing, and live a life of wealth and abundance, for myself, for my family, for my friends, and for the entire world.

I have passion.  I have enthusiasm.  I have love.  I have energy.  I’m going to be a multi millionaire.  I’m going to keep going even after I’ve achieved my goals because it’s not about the money or fame.  It’s about doing what you love.  It’ about helping people.

I applied to a job today that was about selling life insurance.  I got as far as an email back inviting me in for an interview.  I replied by saying that I was excited to meet but I was very busy and couldn’t stay long.  That must have been a turn off because I never got another response to detail where I was to meet them.  As I continued to think about the prospect I thought that selling life insurance might not be for me.  The reason being that I read on Forbes that although life insurance was a topic worthy of consideration for almost any household, if you already had enough money where your family never had worry, then insurance would be pointless.  Although I’m not there yet, I will be, so selling insurance for me would be like selling ice to Eskimos.  There’s no need for it.  So when I got the message from the local pizza place about me dropping my name and phone number off for a part time job, I called them back.  I have an interview with them tomorrow.

I say if you can’t think of anything to write, just pound your fists on the keyboard until you come up with something to write.  Bleed, sweat, and cry over the keyboard.  Let the keyboard be your outlet.  Don’t actually destroy your keyboard, but keep the sentiment of banging on it until the words come out.  In this way you’ll be on your way to your 10,000 hours of mastery, and you’ll be a more fulfilled person because you followed your bliss.  At any rate you’ll probably become wildly successful beyond your wildest dreams and live the life you’ve always dreamed of.  It can happen.

The beauty of working everyday on your bliss is that you are like a fine wine.  That wine gets better with age, so with each piece of writing, you get better.  Today’s post is going to be better than yesterdays, and tomorrow’s post is going to be better than today’s.  That’s part of the beauty of personal development.  You can actually see yourself growing and becoming better, when your paying close attention.

So I’m going to work, and then work more, and then finally I’m going to blog.  I know my millions are on the way.  It could come from expected and unexpected channels.  I’m not limiting myself.  I’m limitless.  I’m powerful.  I’m a winner on a massive scale.  I don’t settle.  I feel wealthy.  These feelings translate into little actions I take everyday that WILL add up to a massive life change.  I’m ready and I know if your reading this, you’re ready too.  What little actions can you take TODAY that can add up to a massive life change?

I know I’ve said this already, but it bears repeating.  Once I’ve reached my goals, I will continue.  I’m never going to stop.  I’m never going to stop because there are people out there to be served.  Mike Dooley (who I love) said if you want to be happy for a year, inherit a fortune.  If you want to be happy for life, serve somebody.  This rings true in my soul.  So I’m going to continue, without end, writing.  I know that slamming my fists on the keyboard until the words come out will benefit people, if not just me.  So I’ve got to say that this is a somewhat self serving journey, but one that I want to take you on as a reader, to a better life.  It can’t be said enough that a better life equals a better you and to make a better you you’ve got to change your habits.

Maybe that habit is to write everyday.  EVERYDAY.  Maybe that habit is to visualize everyday.  EVERYDAY.  Maybe that habit is to show up to work without ever calling out.  EVERYDAY.  Maybe that habit is to quit smoking and take up vaping.  EVERYDAY.  Whatever it is, I know that you know what it is and it’s up to you to make those changes so your life becomes better.  So you too can be happy and fulfilled.

Get creative.  Make a work of art.  Do your job.  Just do SOMETHING and do it with MASSIVE ACTION.  You don’t have to be smart to be successful.  You just have to take ACTION.

I’ve said enough.  It’s time for me to go to sleep.  I’ve done my job at creating a work of art today by slamming my fists onto the keyboard until the words came out.  I hope that my blood, sweat, and tears have served you.  If you liked this post I encourage you to sign up for my email list.  You’ll get a free ebook and updates to new posts on this site.

Thanks for reading.

I love you.

How We Can Bring More Love Into Our World

If we were to love just a little more each day, wouldn’t that make our lives better?  Wouldn’t it make the lives of those around us better?

If your like me, bringing more love into the world is a hard thing to do.  There’s judgement, anger, and attitudes that fight us on our path to bringing more love into the world.  But again, if your like me, you will find it a worthwhile pursuit.

In this post I’m going to share some thoughts on how we can bring more love into our world in order to make earth a better place to live.  My hope is that you find at least one gem in this post that you can apply to your life everyday that brings you more fulfillment and more happiness.

Here it goes.

Ask Strangers How They Are Doing

If you want to show the world that you love and care about it, then you may want to consider asking a caring question to the people you see as you walk down the streets of your neighborhood.  That question is of course, “How are you doing”.

This could improve your day.  It could be that that person is having a bad day and they either say nothing to you and snub you, or they could give you a good answer like “good” or “great”.  If the person you talk to gives you a negative answer you can just keep on walking.  If the person you talk to gives you a positive answer that could lead to a conversation that could make both of your days better.  Talking with positive people about positive things can be an uplifting experience.  It might even make your day having that conversation.  If all that happens is you exchange a “I’m good”, or “I’m great”  then you are still on the up and up.  You’re letting your neighborhood know you care, and your making it a positive place to be.

This is just one way I think we can start to create more love in our world.

Read Books About Uplifting Stories

What happens in your mind is going to effect what happens when you leave the house.  I find it good practice to read inspiring and uplifting books as it helps me stay optimistic (some could say overly optimistic, which I believe is a good thing) about life.  This will lead you to having uplifting conversations with your friends and family, and the strangers you meet on the streets of your neighborhood.  Good, uplifting stories can really be a catalyst in setting the mood for a positive day.

The books you read are up to you, but it could be a religious or spiritual book, or a collection of stories of success in the area in which you want to achieve your success.  I really like “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.  That’s a good starting point if your looking for success in business and it’s full of success stories.  If you would like to buy the book, click the link below and you can purchase it from Amazon.com (I will receive a commission from your purchase through this link).

I read many many books on the subject of personal development, Napoleon Hill’s classic is one that I found many years ago when I was trying to start a network marketing business.  I found it to be extremely inspiring and it helped me persevere until I reached the point where the cost of running the business wasn’t adding up anymore.  I have to admit, I was a failure in network marketing, but that failure (and my many others) have not detracted me from continuing the pursuits of an entrepreneur.  Books really have been great friends of mine on the path of becoming a success.  Studying people who have done what I want and need to do has been extremely helpful.  Learning those things about how to be successful have helped me have positive conversations with family, friends, and coworkers, and those positive conversations I believe have brought more love into the world.  So I say, go on and read those positive books, and have the conversations and take the ACTIONS that will accompany the reading of them.  You’ll be sharing wisdom with the people you care about and helping be a light in their lives and you’ll also be taking action in the direction of your dreams.  In this way you’ll be adding more love into the world.

Serve Your Spouse And Your Children

I realize that not everyone is married with children, but that doesn’t mean they won’t be at some point.  So really this point could serve both those who are married with children, and those that will be in the future.

Today for instance, my wife Megan went out to brunch with her friends.  It was my job to watch the kids.  By watching the kids I was serving my wife.  She was out for a while and so I had to feed the kids lunch.  It was a simple task but one that I did and loved to do.  The smiles on their faces as they ate their chicken nuggets satisfied me.  Really, as I was serving them I was also serving myself as I got to spend quality time with them just dad and the kids.

Simple things like doing the dishes and the laundry can also take some stress off your spouse and make their life a little easier.  Personally, again, I can find doing the dishes and the laundry to be a kind of stress relief so by serving my wife, I’m also serving myself.  It’s a win win, and that’s the kind of deal I love to love.

Give To The Homeless

When a homeless person asks you if you can spare any change, happily give them a dollar or two.  If your reading this, I know you are likely in a position where giving a couple dollars can only help you.

I know myself that sometimes after giving a homeless man money I question whether I did the right thing or not.  Am I only feeding their dependence on other people to survive, further crippling them, or am I helping them?  These questions no longer arise in my mind as I know that I am more fortunate then they are and I have a responsibility to help other people who aren’t as good off as I am.  I care for more than just myself and my own family.  I care for all the people of the world and homelessness is a problem for these people.  The very least I can do is give them a dollar when they ask me.

I believe that by giving to the homeless, and helping those who are less fortunate than we are, we are adding more love into the world.  By caring enough about a perfect stranger to help finance their lives, we are contributing to the overall health of our society.  Whether you agree or disagree with me on this point, I would love to hear what you think in the comments of this post.  Be sure to leave one.

Always Tip Your Delivery Driver

When your ordering food to your house, be sure to always tip.

You don’t have to tip like your wealthy if your not.  But something is always better than nothing.  Your pizza delivery driver works hard to get you fresh hot pizza as fast as possible so reward him with a tip.  I believe tipping shows you care.  If you show you care I believe you are adding more love into this world.  It’s something simple, maybe you already tip well every time you get pizza delivered or have someone make a sub for you, but the practice of giving includes giving to those that are providing a valuable service to you (even if that service is merely delivering a pizza it’s still valuable).  Go ahead and start tipping whenever it’s applicable, and again it’s going to be also a self serving discipline.  What you get is equal to what you give so if you want more, give more.

When You’re Doing Things You Don’t Like, Instead Of Hating It, Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude could help you with anything from your job to doing housework.  You can’t be grateful and angry at the same time.  When your doing something you don’t like to do, instead of hating it and cursing the reasons why you have to do it, instead look for things about it that you can be grateful for.

When I’m at work, doing something that I don’t want to do, I simply tell myself “This is what I MUST do, I’m getting paid, so I might as well be happy about doing it”.  In addition to getting paid to do things I don’t like to do, I also get valuable work experience, working with others to get the job done.

Another instance from my life where I practiced gratitude was in doing the dishes.  Instead of thinking, “Well, my wife has been off all day and instead of doing the dishes she went out and ran around”, I think “I’m grateful for the opportunity to serve my family, I don’t have to do these dishes, I GET TO”.

Each day is a blessing and one we should be grateful for.  Instead of thinking that you have to do something, instead think that you “get to” do something.  Not everyone can do what you do, so be grateful your in the unique position to live your life to it’s fullest potential.

Cut Back Or Eliminate The Things That Aren’t Serving Your Greater Purpose

If you want to bring more love into the world, then you can start by loving yourself a little more.  Try and try again to cut back or eliminate the things that aren’t serving your greater purpose.  For me, identifying those things has been easy, but eliminating them has been a real challenge but one worth doing.

I used to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day.  I smoked American Spirits and they cost me about $8.18 a day.  I realized that feeling the way I was feeling because of the smoking wasn’t serving me.  Neither was spending almost $10 a day on the addiction.  So in late November of 2017 I decided again, that it was time to finally quit and replace it with something new.  That new thing was the vaporizer.

From experience I can say that the vaporizer is a lot better for my health and is much much less expensive then buying cigarettes.  So I’m saving my health and I’m keeping more of my hard earned money, and on top of it all I’m still not really sacrificing anything because I still have my nicotine.  The vape helps me get out of the bed in the morning, helps get me through the day, and it helps me sleep.  It has completely taken the place of cigarettes, and I’m very grateful for it.  It’s been a triumph for me eliminating cigarettes, and I give the vape the credit for that.  It’s been really really great using the vape instead of smoking, because it tastes and smells better, I can do it inside, it helps me feel healthier, and I save A LOT of money.  Smoking cigarettes wasn’t serving my greater purpose so I’m glad that I was able to stop.  What could you stop that isn’t serving your greater purpose?

When you start taking better care of yourself, you’ll be better able to take better care of others, hence bringing more love into the world.  So go for it, and cut back or eliminate those things that are causing you pain and misery, and embrace a more empowering life.

Pick Up An Additional Stream Of Income

I read in “Reinvent Yourself” that the average multi-millionaire has an average of 7 different streams of income.  If you want to love yourself, and therefore be able to love your family and others better, it’s time to add another source of income to your life.

By adding another source of income to your life you’ll be better securing yourself and your family in the lean and fat times.  You’ll have more money for yourself and for your family, and you’ll have more money to give to charity.  My grandfather has told me that charity starts at home, so the better you can take care of your family, the better you’re loving them.  The more you do, the more the universe can do for you so don’t delay and pick up those multiple streams of income as fast as you can.  Once you begin to give your family more money, you can look into giving more to charity.  Again, what you get is equal to what you give, so if you want more, give more.

For me, picking up additional streams of income means not only working my day job, but also picking up a second job that I can work nights and weekends.  Along with picking up a second job, having multiple streams of income also means working on this website, commenting on other blogs, writing articles for other sites that link back to my site, and networking with other online entrepreneurs.  From what I understand, that’s what you need to keep doing if you want to earn incomes from your blog.  So that’s what I’m going to do, what are you going to do to earn other streams of income?

Conclusion

If you want to bring more love into the world, start first by loving yourself better.  The more you can love yourself, the better you will be at being able to love others.  Once you’ve got a foundation of self love in place, then you’ll be able to branch out into helping your family better, and then from there you can really start to make an impact on the world.

I’m sure there are many ways you can bring more love into the world, I’ve just listed a few.  Feel free to brainstorm your own ideas and put them into practice in your life.  By loving more, you can start to help change the world for the better.

Here’s to a better world for you, me, our children, and everyone on the planet.

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A Day I Will Never Forget

That day I speak of is my wedding day.

We were married on June 25th, 2011.  We recently had our 6 year anniversary and spent it on the road, coming back from another wedding in North Carolina.

For our 6 years I got my wife a necklace.  I went to a place right next door to where I work when I got off and picked her out the one I thought she would like best.  I would have liked to spend more, but I don’t make much, am in debt, and have wasted a ton of money on drinking and smoking.

Still, I couldn’t go without buying her something, so I put it on my credit card and vowed to pay it off.

I will never forget the day I got married, as any man would.  I heard somewhere you should show your scars, so I wanted to write about the one I have on my wedding ring finger.  I got cut, I don’t know how, right before we were married, and the bizarre but fitting thing is that the scar from where I was cut is in the shape of a heart.  The skin never completely separated from my finger and the ring kept the hanging skin in place.  To this day, if I move the ring up my finger just a little bit, it will expose the scar that is in the shape of a heart.  The bottom of the heart faces inward, towards me.  Fitting and I’ll tell you why.

Marriage has been difficult for me.  I’ve done things I am ashamed of.  I wasn’t a good husband when we first started.  I had a gut feeling that we weren’t meant to be together.  I felt like the world was telling me I shouldn’t be with her.  That we weren’t meant for each other.  We had emotional conversations with each other where tears were shed and she did everything in her power to tell me that she loved me and that’s what we needed to be together.  I did love her, and I do love her, but that went against everything my gut was telling me. It was telling me that bad things would happen if we stayed together.  That it wasn’t right for us to be together.  I have been a schizophrenic since before we got married, but I wasn’t diagnosed until 2014 when the voices telling me I had cancer forced me to consult a doctor and he told me I was a schizophrenic.

Since I got married I have been hearing my father in laws voice in my head and he mostly gives me bad advice.  He tells me to drink more all the time, he tells me to die smoking, he tells me to get cancer.  I see him on a regular basis and when we are together I still hear his voice in my head, and he tells me he can hear what I’m thinking.  My schizophrenia seems to lead me to believe everyone can hear voices, that they hear my voice, and the voices of everyone else.  It’s as if my thoughts are on display for everyone that’s around me.  It makes me want to vacation in a log cabin in the woods, where there are no other people around, just nature.  I can handle when the animals and trees talk to me.

I don’t know if it was just schizophrenia, or if it was a combination of drinking too much, smoking too much pot, smoking cigarettes, generally living my life out of balance, and fooling around with marrying someone that was way over my head.  Either way, I lost the best job I ever had at a guitar factory for losing control of my emotions.  I was hearing music that told me to kill myself, and I was taking offense to it, as if everyone there was plotting against me, didn’t like me or hated me, and wanted me to get lost.  It was a tragic end to a job where I excelled.  I fell and it was very difficult to find another job that I could work well at.

I have found that job, a job I can do.  They keep promoting me so that’s a good thing.  I’m drinking less, and I’ve recently called a help line to quit smoking.  My quit date is on July 15th, 2017.  I must quit because I’m feeling pain in my body that I believe without smoking I wouldn’t be feeling.

I am at a crossroads in life.  My gut tells me I’m never going to make it online.  It tells me my only shot at becoming a millionaire is to win the lottery.  And that’s my gut talking to me, as a schizophrenic.  When it talks to me I can see written words in my midsection and it tells me things that would completely change my life if I were to follow it.

As of yesterday, it was telling me I should win the lottery jackpot, and then leave my family so that I can have sex with other women because “I want”.  My gut also tells me that if I stay with my wife my life will end in tragedy.  That leads me to what I experience on my honeymoon.

After sex at one point, when we were in Cane Garden Bay, a beautiful place, my father in laws voice said that our marriage would “end in divorce”.  This was on our honeymoon!  Imagine being told over and over that your marriage was a mistake but there was no way to stop it from happening.  All in your own mind!  And the reality is no one else can hear these things, even though it seems like they can.  So my wife goes on living like nothing is wrong, and I’m hearing all these screwed up things about the end, and death, and cheating, and it makes me want to get out.  From day one I wanted to get out.

The way it happened though is that my wife’s will was stronger than mine.  I tried to end it, I even demanded that she give me back the ring… but it was to no avail and she ended up keeping me.   6 years later we have a 4 and 1 year old, and are living our lives together the best we can.  She is a teacher and I work at a ham store, and she supports our family.  She is the breadwinner, all I do is support a little.  She pays the mortgage and all the bills.  It embarrasses me, but that’s the way it is.

I can’t say that I’m not trying to become the primary breadwinner and move us into a bigger house, retire my wife so she can raise our kids full time, and live a life that is the calling for all men.  I was in church recently and they said that men had a “divine” calling to support their wives.  It made me feel bad that my it’s the other way around with my wife and I.  Still my wife seems happy with the way things are going, and she tells me she loves me and holds my hand.  My father put it accurately “it could always be worse”.

To this day, I am told to die in my head, and that my life will end “in prison”.  The voices are persistant in seeking my death, but I command myself to LIVE and I try to do the right things that are going to lead to better quality of life.  Reading, journaling, blogging, meditation, visualization, exercise, eating right, quitting smoking, listening to podcasts are among some of the things I do to create that better quality of life.  I still don’t know if I should work with my hands or try to make it in sales at my current job, but all I know is that I need to quit smoking.

The statistic is that 90% of schizophrenics smoke.  I would like to be a part of the 10% who do not.  It has ruined relationships and made me an unhealthy person, and I seek to quit for the good of everyone.  It’s not too late for me, I can still create a better life.

I will always remember June 25th, 2017, the day I married my wife.  Our life together has been a mess, and one I am still in the process of cleaning up, but there is a silver lining to everything.  She loves me and my kids make me smile so no matter what the voices are telling me I can take shelter in that. The voices are a nightmare I can’t wake up from, but they make me stronger.  They help me to decide what I want and what I do not want.  They test me, and it’s time I start passing the test and be faithful, not smoke, be happy, and live.

This is a personal development blog aimed at helping me to orient myself, and I hope that you too can benefit by reading it.   I encourage you to explore it further, and continue to check back for new posts.  They will get better with time.  If you want to make it easy on yourself, you can subscribe to my list and I’ll send you updates to this blog so you know when a new post comes out.

Here’s to you knowing what you want, no matter what the voices or anyone or anything else tells you,

Jesse Creel

A Story About The Benefit Of An Act Of Kindness

So I worked in the store today.  I had to be there at 7:30am which is an hour and a half earlier than usual.  I had to take a breakfast delivery into the city.  I did the delivery and then I came back to the store.  It took me about an hour and a half.

When I got back one of the women I work with, who tells everyone she is my girlfriend, asked me to pick up her some Dirty potato chips from the other store I was going to be working at for the rest of the day.  I had to pick up some tape for the pricing guns and bring it back to my home store so I would be coming back anyways.  So my coworker asked me to bring her the chips back with the tape when I returned.

I worked the rest of the day at the other store and then left.  I realized I had forgot to get her the bag of chips and I took a second to debate on whether I should turn around now that I was already on the road.  I could have told my coworker that I had forgotten about the chips and left it at that, but I decided to be kind and do her the favor she had asked me to do so I turned around and went back to the store.

They gave me an 80% discount so the chips only cost me about 30 cents.  I bought them and on the way out they came after me calling my name.  They said there was a delivery that needed to be done that they had forgotten about until just now.  As it turns out this was a special kind of delivery which pays $30 cash when you do it.  So as a result of me turning around to do a friend a favor, I ended up being rewarded by the universe by receiving more money.  I didn’t do it for more money, I did it to be kind to a coworker.  It just so happens that my kindness opened me up to receiving more money.  Go figure!

That’s just a short story that I wanted to share with you about how kindness can pay.  I hope you enjoyed it.  If you would subscribe to my list I will send you updates to this blog.  Make sure you subscribe!

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day!

Jesse Creel

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