The Blog About Blogging

Love Your Blog Better

Tag: Love (Page 1 of 2)

Blogging Is Far Superior To Winning The Lottery

With blogging you can make a million dollars a year.

That’s as much as the lottery would pay you if you matched 6 numbers on a single ticket for one of the baseline jackpots of 40 million dollars.

And just think, if you want that extra hour of blogging because you want to take massive action in the direction of your dream, you are working by putting hours and hours into the action of typing.  Of creating art.  Of creating business.  Of staying consistent.  I’ve been reading some interesting books and they talk a lot about feelings.

Neville Goddard was the main inspiration, in my opinion, for Wayne Dyer’s book “Wishes Fulfilled”.  Neville’s teachings are based around imagination and feeling, and God, which is documented in the book I’m loving reading right now “Wishes Fulfilled.

Get your copy by clicking this picture (I’ll get paid):

In it he says a lot about how you should think that you’re God, because that’s what Jesus taught us to do.  “The kingdom of God is within” He said.  Dyer says that when you believe you are God, you can live the life you want to live.  That’s my short and skinny of it.  That’s just to put it into my own words.

To be honest I’ve been putting what I’ve been reading in “Wishes Fulfilled” into action in my thoughts.  I’ve been thinking thoughts about how “I am Love” and sometimes “I am God”  and sometimes “I am a problogger”.  And sometimes “I am healthy wealthy and wise”.  Dyer says that by using the “I Am” which is what God said to Moses in the burning bush “I am that I Am.  Dyer says to use your I am’s with responsibility to the loving light that you are.  I far prefer writing about this than writing about what I would do with the money when I win the lottery.  Or just visualizing it, which is what I would do often instead of writing.

There’s been a few things that have set me off on this path of evolution to love blogging.    One being Schizophrenia, one being personal development, and one being just blogging itself.  This is what I have come to discover about  my blog and my business.  What I’ve really been doing though is imagining and feeling like I’m healthy, wealthy, happy, and wise.

Here’s a sample of the affirmations:

I am healthy.

I am wealthy.

I am wise.

I am a problogger.

I am a lottery winner (just in case)

I am happy.

I am fulfilled.

I am Love.

All things can be done with God.

I am healed.


These are just a few of the affirmations I use everyday.  When it comes to visualization time these days, I visualize and feel what it feels like to be healthy, wealthy, and wise, and Happy!

When your a schizophrenic and the voices tell you “YOUR NOT!” when you affirm your healthy you have to learn to embrace your superpower.  That superpower is to be the ultimate guardian of your imagination and your feelings.  There is a large “NO INTRUDERS!” sign on the door of your consciousness.  No one else is allowed into your mind.  Not even the voices that come from it.

When they shout “YOUR NOT!” at me I have several tools that I would like to share with you on how a schizophrenic, or anyone else for that matter who has their own self doubts, could harness the power of their own thinking, and use it to benefit their lives.


When you have a voice, or a thought if your normal, that tells you your not healthy I recommend you say one word.  That word is”nonsense”.

There are other words you could use, and I will mention some here, but think about nonsense for a moment.  Imagine what would happen if when you had a self doubt about whether you could do something or not you just repeated the word nonsense when the thought, image or feeling came up, what would happen next?

Maybe you would ask yourself the question, “How do I benefit from this?” or maybe, if your proclaiming to your mind and body that you are indeed “Love” by saying “I AM LOVE” maybe you would hear a new voice, or have a new thought, that was empowering.

To be honest I’m now drawing a blank on what other words you could use to combat self doubt, but in my mind I no doubt use them.  “Nonsense” is just my favorite and is also used by others to combat their own inner negativity.

This is a little about all three things, the schizophrenia, personal development, and blogging.  That’s my story, and it’s one of beauty and magnificence.

This is what I’m really really good at, and if your thinking about starting a blog, rest easy, because your going to be nothing when you start.  You’ll be an unheard of nobody, like everybody else who started with nothing and got everything.  This is why I like blogging so much better than playing the lottery.  You can put hours and hours of typing (actually producing something, instead of just visualizing your hours away) about things you really care about in your life.  Like helping people, or serving others.  You could be writing about how you value everyone like they are a family member, and just do your best to be of service to people.  If you put the hours in, in a God ordained profession, success will come without fail.  God cannot fail.  You just have to find your calling.  When you think blogging is your calling, I’m your man.

If your thinking that I said I was going to win a massive jackpot and then changed my mind to being a problogger, then you might be thinking I’ll have about as much success getting a million dollars a year blogging as I would at matching 6 numbers on a 40 million dollar jackpot.  To that I would say nonsense.

Switching my affirmations from lottery winner to professional blogger is a wise decision because I’m don’t spend my all my free time visualizing a lottery win.  Instead I’m writing and I find that to be a more productive activity than visualization alone.  That settles that objection, what’s next?

I don’t think there is anything next.  There’s no downside to switching your thinking from being a lottery winner to being a professional blogger.  A problogger.  The I am that I am that God said he was.  The manifesting of problogging.

” I am a problogger.”

What’s the harm in saying that to yourself as you visualize?  And try to feel what it feels like to be a problogger.  Feel the feelings of being a problogger.  They say that your destiny is in your feelings.  I would say the benefit of spending all that time visualizing and feeling like a lottery winner did me good (even though I didn’t win a big jackpot) because it taught me how to visualize, and how to feel good.  I can easily use my powers to visualize and feel what it’s like to be a problogger to manifest money using my blog.  Really, to Earn money off my blog.  When your putting hours and hours into it, your earning it.  But I would say that mastery of blogging is a worthwhile pursuit even if you don’t get paid for it.

I believe that if you would do it even if you didn’t get paid, you’ll get better results.  Sure, we can work to get paid, but we do it for much more than the money.  That’s why blogging is superior to winning the lottery.  With the lottery you don’t get the connections with other people in a work related way.  You do with blogging.  And once you start to build your email list, you’ll be growing and it’s never going to stop.  You’ll always be bigger today than you we’re yesterday.

The downside is there’s no immediate payoff.

That said, with blogging, a lot of experts will tell you that you can start to earn money from it by the six month mark.  I was in a network marketing company that trained their people to do it in 90 days.  It can be fast!

That would definitely entail a lot of hours, work ethic, wisdom, and health.  You don’t need a lot of money to start a blog so I don’t include money in that list.  Although you can pay big like I did and join a network marketing company for $5,000 and get their “masters course”.  Now instead of network marketing, blogging has chosen me and I’ve chosen it, so there’s no need to buy all the expensive products.

Now if you had an email list of 2,000 buyers then it might make sense to join the $5,000 opportunity.  You could stand to earn a lot of money with your resources.  But just starting, with no blog, no traffic, no comments, and no list I would recommend you just buy the domain, the hosting, and the email list and get to writing.  That’s how the big people did it, they had the blog first, and then they bought the expensive product they could re sell.  They already had a list of buyers!

Just think how exciting that first sale is going to be.  It is going to feel like you won the jackpot.  Just think how much more your capable of and take action.  Maybe that action is to read on and then join my email list.  Maybe that action is to ask yourself the question “what does it feel like to be a problogger?”.  Is that action to get your own blog and start on your own 90 journey to results?  Is that action to write your first blog post or leave your first long comment on someone else’s blog?  Is that action to start your email list?  Whatever it is, take action.

Put hours and hours into the writing.  You’ll be spending more time taking action than you could ever visualize with presence of mind for.  At a certain point with visualization you’re just sitting there daydreaming or in misery that you can’t do anything else to get what you want.  That is again why the action of blogging is better than the action of playing to win the lottery.

And as I started with in the beginning, I believe it is possible to earn a million dollars a year off of one’s blog.  Sure that’s a big goal, but you can’t get big without big goals.  Besides even if you fall short you’ll still have made SOME money off your blog, and some is better than none.  I shot for a jackpot win and didn’t get it, but I did win $50 off of a dollar scratch off ticket.  I imagine your chances of making a lot more than $50 off blogging are better than making it off playing the lottery.  And if you do have the big goal you have the potential to earn as much as you could win.

This is why blogging is better than playing the lottery.

I hope this has inspired you to blog harder than you play the lottery.  I know the change has been good for me and I hope that this serves you as well.

Feel free to check back for new posts.


Blogging Is For Me

I started a second job yesterday.  It was at a pizza and sub place.  I fried fries and other fried things.  It wasn’t that busy, but busy enough.  I did a good enough job that they invited me back to come to work today, but I didn’t go.

I realized that blogging was for me.  I only work part time at my day job and it was getting me down that I didn’t get enough work during the year to pay my debt, so I took a second job.  I worked the first day and realized that it was time to get serious about blogging, so here I am, blogging.  I didn’t go to work.

You could say that this was a mistake.  I have a debt to repay.  You could also say that I don’t earn any money from my blog, so why do I focus on something that’s not paying me?  The answer is that I believe it will pay me, and I love to do it, and I had a teacher at some point in my life that said “do what you love and the money will follow”.  I have a day job and I’m not losing that, so with my free time I can either work another job or work the life into this blog.  I choose to work the life into my writing.

I will earn a living writing, blah blah blah.  It takes the walk to walk it.  I intend to walk the walk.  I’m not just talking the talk.  I’m taking action by writing, and that’s walking the walk.  I’m in love with this blogging thing.

The question is, how do I make a million dollars?

I’ve been thinking about writing a romance novel.  Different from my blogging, but still I think I could do it, and I think it could be a hit.  I’m not going to give anything away here, but just know that it’s in the works and I’m going to make writing a part time gig, so there’s going to be plenty of it flowing from the basement of my little townhouse.

Soon to big a bigger house.

I’m not going to stop until my family is taken care of.  I don’t care what it takes, I’m going to be of service.  I know that I’m valuable.  I know that I can be of service.  I’m going to make it happen for me and for them, and it’s going to be a win win for everybody.

I have to pound the keys until the words come out.  I will do this over and over again until I have a blog post, and a novel, and a personal development book, and everything I want to have.  Words are powerful, they have a creative nature.  I have a creative nature.

Are your words prophetic or pathetic?  Are they positive or negative?  The choices you make will effect your life.  Are you ready for a better life, or are you just waiting on the sidelines?  I encourage you to get in there and get the job done.

I’m going to be writing a lot in the future, from this point forward, because I’ve decided that blogging is for me, writing is for me.  I want to master it, for the love of it, for more than money.  So I’m going to keep working on this thing.  I’m going to write for a living.

This blogging thing is for me.  I know I can do it.  I know I can earn $100,000 a year off my blog.  I’ve already been at it for a while, so I figure the payoff is near.  I’m not going to stop until I’ve reached my goals, and then I’m going to press on for the love of it.

How can I be of value to you?

I can tell you that I am Love.  I am God as sure as if God was the ocean, I am a bucket of water.  I’m not saying I’m above anyone.  I’m only saying that we all are God, and I’m a piece of that.  I am divine.  How does that serve you?  To let you in on a little secret, that you are divine as well.

We are all God.  We are Love.  Love is what keeps the world going.  Without it there would be no order, harmony, or peace.  Sure there is some strife in the world, but rest easy, Love is God, and you are Love.

Jesus said with God all things are possible.  In other words, if you embrace the Love that you are, you are capable of anything.  Even if that thing is winning the lottery.  There are many many people who will try to win and fail for their entire lives, but because You are God, You will find a way (even if it’s the lottery) to ensure that your family lives a good life.  That is the Word, that is Holy.

This writing thing is going to be a part time job for me.  I work my day job from 10-2 and I have plenty of free time to write.  I’m going to make it happen for all that is good in the world.  I’m going to make it happen for you and me.  I’m going to make it happen for my family.  More than that, I’m going to make it happen for the world.

For the Love of blogging I write these words.  How can this serve you?  It can serve to empower you to know that you can write too, even if it’s not paying you.  Home based business can be a rough ride, so I’m here to help you stay the course.  Keep on blogging, keep on writing, keep on taking action.  I’m doing it so there’s no reason you can’t.

If you are an aspiring writer I would say to you, write like the fury.  The fury you have within you to be a success.  Write that way.  Let nothing stop you.  You won’t be stopped.  It’s better than working too many jobs.  Go on with your bad self and let the world know you care.

This blogging thing is for me.  I don’t care what happens.  I could work my part time job for the rest of my life and take 10 years to pay off my measly $16,000 in credit card debt and then live a painfully comfortable lifestyle in our little townhouse for the rest of our lives.  Put my son in the basement when he gets too old to sleep in the same room as his older sister.

He wouldn’t have his own room, but he would be sleeping in a different room, and we could do that in our little townhouse.  So I would never have to have the stress of hitting the lottery and moving us into a bigger house.  We could live comfortably, and poorly, in our little townhouse in Pasadena, MD.

I have other plans though.

The question is how can I serve you?

I frequently ask the question to myself: how can I be of service?

I have a hard time answering that question.

But that’s just the story I’ve been telling myself.

Instead I could ask the question, or state the answer as I have a million ideas on what I could write.  Even if I have no ideas on what I could write.

This leads me to answers.  Inside of myself.  These questions.

Ideas on what to write.

I’m going to keep this writing thing going and see where it takes me.  I’d like to make a profession out of it, and I think I will.  What’s the value here?  Note this: I’ve been working on this blog since May of 2016.  I’m still working on it.  It’s not because I’m getting paid to do it (although I treat it as if I am), I do it for the love of it, because it feels right to do.  The value for you?  If you really love something, you can at least keep doing it for a year and and 7 months, even without pay.  If you really want to cook with fire do it everyday for at least 4 hours a day and you’ll have it mastered in 11 years.  I’d say long before you have it mastered you’ll have a million dollar income.

Write books, that’s what I say.  This really is for writers.  For those that want to write because that’s what they love to do.  The way I figure it is, you can work in sweat pants and a hoodie and you can still do your best work!  It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing.  I think I’m going to get back into affiliate marketing.  All this writing makes me hungry for more money.  I’ve heard good things about Wealthy Affiliate.

I have to get a refresher on Wealthy Affiliate before I say anything more about it.  But just know that this blogging thing, this writing thing, is for me.  What are you about?  I encourage you to leave a comment on this post about what you are about.  If it’s writing we are kindred spirits.  If it’s not we are still both people and we are alive because of Love.  So we have at least that in common.  That’s just the way I see things, so if you disagree, leave a comment about that as well.  Love it or hate it, leave a comment.  Do you like to write too?

I like to write about personal development, Schizophrenia, working my day job, drinking alcohol and vaping, drinking coffee and writing and vaping, and I’ve recently discovered ideas on what a fictional novel could be like to write.  The point is I love writing, and I am determined to be of service to you.

If your on my list and you don’t like writing, then maybe you should unsubscribe.  But if your curious about writing, or am already in love with it, maybe you should hang in there and get to my best stuff that I’m writing with each passing day.  If your reading this I’m guessing that you may be like me, and if your like me, as you continue to do something, you get better at it.  Granted, somethings you might be able to do and other things you may not be able to do.  But I know that everybody has something they CAN do, and do well, so we may as write if we think we write well.

That’s the thing about thinking.  I think it was Henry Ford that said “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, either way you’re right”.  If you think you’re a great writer then your chances of becoming a great writer I think are way better.

You may suck, you may suck at first, and you may still suck the day you die, but there’s one thing for sure:  You’ll suck less by the time you die if you keep working on it everyday.

On the other hand, you may be great.  And again, for sure, you’ll be greater by the time you die if you keep working on it everyday.

The choice is yours.  Do you want to think you suck?


Do you want to think you are Great.

Personally, I think that choice is an easy one.

Or maybe we all suck and are Great at the same time.

Personally, as I think it should be with all writers, is to aim to be Great.  Be determined to be Great.  Take on a massive challenge: the challenge to earn big money with Your Writing, and Make Something Great.

Are you up to that challenge?

Leave your answer in the comments below, and subscribe to my email list.  It’s all about blogging and the quest to earn well more than a full time living off of it, and your writing.

You can always respond to one of the emails you get from me, and I’ll get it sent right to my inbox, and we could talk about how I could better serve you, or whatever it is you’d like to talk about.  I’ll do my best to serve you.

Thanks for reading, I’ll write again soon.

Slamming Your Fists Onto The Keyboard Until The Words Come Out

When I’m having a hard time thinking of what to write, slamming my fists onto the keyboard is a common visualization I have.

They say it takes 10,000 hours to master something.  If you put in an hour a day it’s going to take you over 27 years to master it.  We’ve, you and me, got to put more time in than an hour a day because I know that 27 years is too long a time to wait for mastery.

But all you can do is all you can do.  I only have an hour to write this before I have to go to bed for my job in the morning.  At least I am making the time to get creative today.  I MUST write.  I must create.  I am a visionary, and my vision leads me to serving people.  I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I’m going to do it, and step 1 is to just write.

Today I put in some applications for a second job.  On one particular application I had to explain why I was terminated from a job.  A painful explanation, but an honest one.  I simply state because of the schizophrenia (which I now consider a superpower) I was in the wrong state of mind and made a bad decision.  I will probably never be hired by that particular employer.  Still, I’m going to pick up a second job for more reasons than I can state, and it’s going to happen quickly.

Soon I’ll have very little free time.  I’m still going to blog though.  I’m still going to metaphorically slam my fists upon the keyboard until the words come out.  I’m going to cry and sweat and bleed until I have great writing.  I’m never going to stop blogging, because it is a passion, and although sometimes I don’t like blogging because of my issues with myself, I still love it.

I’m going to be one of the Greats.  I’m going to have best selling books.  My blog is a training ground for writing my best writing.  I’m going to come up with some really great ideas and make many many books out of them.  I’m speaking my world into existence.

Blogging is not just a hobby for me, it’s a lifestyle.  The pain and the agony of coming up with a good title, something that I hope will serve people, takes me a while to get to.  Sure enough, I always come up with something.  I’m doing the right thing by expressing myself, which is why I believe that blogging is so powerful.  Granted, it’s not the only way to express yourself (I’m well aware there are many ways) but it’s my way, and I love my ways.  I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past but the person those mistakes has caused me to become satisfies me and makes me feel like I am right in the head after all.  I’m a schizophrenic so you may disagree with my prior statement, but I know that the schizophrenia isn’t a disease, it’s actually a superpower.  I know my own mind better because of it, and I can call out the nonsense as it arises and find super empowering ways to think.  These thoughts lead me to taking empowering actions, and these actions (although small but daily) help to improve my overall life.

One thing I’ve got to improve upon in my life is exercise.  Today I went for a mile walk in the cold.  It’s January 2nd, 2018 so it’s cold outside in Maryland.  Not as cold as Boston, but cold.  I went for the walk anyways.  It felt good to move.  I could really use some weight training or running, but I like walking and can easily handle it.  My plan is to start doing pushups, squats, and crunches first thing in the morning when I get up at 6 am.  I’ve never been an early riser, but I have gone through periods where I’ve gotten up at 6am.  I want to get up at 6am everyday and exercise first thing.  When I do this I know I will be starting my day in a positive way that will set the tone for the entire day.  It may make me more tired but I don’t care.  There is the chance that it will further energize me, and make my overall life easier.  So I’m going to try and if I have to try and try again to make exercise a priority and do it first thing in the early morning, I’m going to do it.

One thing about my blogging that crosses my mind is that no one will ever read what I write.  When I think those thoughts I have to tell myself that I’m doing this for more than one reason.  Besides, when I become a great writer and have multiple best selling books then people will be able to come back to my blog and read what I’ve written here.  They will be able to read all the works I’ve written that lead me up to becoming a best selling author.  My blog will be a case study on how writers can be a zero and then earn something really great for themselves.  On top of that, I plan to keep the money I earn from writing, and live a life of wealth and abundance, for myself, for my family, for my friends, and for the entire world.

I have passion.  I have enthusiasm.  I have love.  I have energy.  I’m going to be a multi millionaire.  I’m going to keep going even after I’ve achieved my goals because it’s not about the money or fame.  It’s about doing what you love.  It’ about helping people.

I applied to a job today that was about selling life insurance.  I got as far as an email back inviting me in for an interview.  I replied by saying that I was excited to meet but I was very busy and couldn’t stay long.  That must have been a turn off because I never got another response to detail where I was to meet them.  As I continued to think about the prospect I thought that selling life insurance might not be for me.  The reason being that I read on Forbes that although life insurance was a topic worthy of consideration for almost any household, if you already had enough money where your family never had worry, then insurance would be pointless.  Although I’m not there yet, I will be, so selling insurance for me would be like selling ice to Eskimos.  There’s no need for it.  So when I got the message from the local pizza place about me dropping my name and phone number off for a part time job, I called them back.  I have an interview with them tomorrow.

I say if you can’t think of anything to write, just pound your fists on the keyboard until you come up with something to write.  Bleed, sweat, and cry over the keyboard.  Let the keyboard be your outlet.  Don’t actually destroy your keyboard, but keep the sentiment of banging on it until the words come out.  In this way you’ll be on your way to your 10,000 hours of mastery, and you’ll be a more fulfilled person because you followed your bliss.  At any rate you’ll probably become wildly successful beyond your wildest dreams and live the life you’ve always dreamed of.  It can happen.

The beauty of working everyday on your bliss is that you are like a fine wine.  That wine gets better with age, so with each piece of writing, you get better.  Today’s post is going to be better than yesterdays, and tomorrow’s post is going to be better than today’s.  That’s part of the beauty of personal development.  You can actually see yourself growing and becoming better, when your paying close attention.

So I’m going to work, and then work more, and then finally I’m going to blog.  I know my millions are on the way.  It could come from expected and unexpected channels.  I’m not limiting myself.  I’m limitless.  I’m powerful.  I’m a winner on a massive scale.  I don’t settle.  I feel wealthy.  These feelings translate into little actions I take everyday that WILL add up to a massive life change.  I’m ready and I know if your reading this, you’re ready too.  What little actions can you take TODAY that can add up to a massive life change?

I know I’ve said this already, but it bears repeating.  Once I’ve reached my goals, I will continue.  I’m never going to stop.  I’m never going to stop because there are people out there to be served.  Mike Dooley (who I love) said if you want to be happy for a year, inherit a fortune.  If you want to be happy for life, serve somebody.  This rings true in my soul.  So I’m going to continue, without end, writing.  I know that slamming my fists on the keyboard until the words come out will benefit people, if not just me.  So I’ve got to say that this is a somewhat self serving journey, but one that I want to take you on as a reader, to a better life.  It can’t be said enough that a better life equals a better you and to make a better you you’ve got to change your habits.

Maybe that habit is to write everyday.  EVERYDAY.  Maybe that habit is to visualize everyday.  EVERYDAY.  Maybe that habit is to show up to work without ever calling out.  EVERYDAY.  Maybe that habit is to quit smoking and take up vaping.  EVERYDAY.  Whatever it is, I know that you know what it is and it’s up to you to make those changes so your life becomes better.  So you too can be happy and fulfilled.

Get creative.  Make a work of art.  Do your job.  Just do SOMETHING and do it with MASSIVE ACTION.  You don’t have to be smart to be successful.  You just have to take ACTION.

I’ve said enough.  It’s time for me to go to sleep.  I’ve done my job at creating a work of art today by slamming my fists onto the keyboard until the words came out.  I hope that my blood, sweat, and tears have served you.  If you liked this post I encourage you to sign up for my email list.  You’ll get a free ebook and updates to new posts on this site.

Thanks for reading.

I love you.

How We Can Bring More Love Into Our World

If we were to love just a little more each day, wouldn’t that make our lives better?  Wouldn’t it make the lives of those around us better?

If your like me, bringing more love into the world is a hard thing to do.  There’s judgement, anger, and attitudes that fight us on our path to bringing more love into the world.  But again, if your like me, you will find it a worthwhile pursuit.

In this post I’m going to share some thoughts on how we can bring more love into our world in order to make earth a better place to live.  My hope is that you find at least one gem in this post that you can apply to your life everyday that brings you more fulfillment and more happiness.

Here it goes.

Ask Strangers How They Are Doing

If you want to show the world that you love and care about it, then you may want to consider asking a caring question to the people you see as you walk down the streets of your neighborhood.  That question is of course, “How are you doing”.

This could improve your day.  It could be that that person is having a bad day and they either say nothing to you and snub you, or they could give you a good answer like “good” or “great”.  If the person you talk to gives you a negative answer you can just keep on walking.  If the person you talk to gives you a positive answer that could lead to a conversation that could make both of your days better.  Talking with positive people about positive things can be an uplifting experience.  It might even make your day having that conversation.  If all that happens is you exchange a “I’m good”, or “I’m great”  then you are still on the up and up.  You’re letting your neighborhood know you care, and your making it a positive place to be.

This is just one way I think we can start to create more love in our world.

Read Books About Uplifting Stories

What happens in your mind is going to effect what happens when you leave the house.  I find it good practice to read inspiring and uplifting books as it helps me stay optimistic (some could say overly optimistic, which I believe is a good thing) about life.  This will lead you to having uplifting conversations with your friends and family, and the strangers you meet on the streets of your neighborhood.  Good, uplifting stories can really be a catalyst in setting the mood for a positive day.

The books you read are up to you, but it could be a religious or spiritual book, or a collection of stories of success in the area in which you want to achieve your success.  I really like “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.  That’s a good starting point if your looking for success in business and it’s full of success stories.  If you would like to buy the book, click the link below and you can purchase it from (I will receive a commission from your purchase through this link).

I read many many books on the subject of personal development, Napoleon Hill’s classic is one that I found many years ago when I was trying to start a network marketing business.  I found it to be extremely inspiring and it helped me persevere until I reached the point where the cost of running the business wasn’t adding up anymore.  I have to admit, I was a failure in network marketing, but that failure (and my many others) have not detracted me from continuing the pursuits of an entrepreneur.  Books really have been great friends of mine on the path of becoming a success.  Studying people who have done what I want and need to do has been extremely helpful.  Learning those things about how to be successful have helped me have positive conversations with family, friends, and coworkers, and those positive conversations I believe have brought more love into the world.  So I say, go on and read those positive books, and have the conversations and take the ACTIONS that will accompany the reading of them.  You’ll be sharing wisdom with the people you care about and helping be a light in their lives and you’ll also be taking action in the direction of your dreams.  In this way you’ll be adding more love into the world.

Serve Your Spouse And Your Children

I realize that not everyone is married with children, but that doesn’t mean they won’t be at some point.  So really this point could serve both those who are married with children, and those that will be in the future.

Today for instance, my wife Megan went out to brunch with her friends.  It was my job to watch the kids.  By watching the kids I was serving my wife.  She was out for a while and so I had to feed the kids lunch.  It was a simple task but one that I did and loved to do.  The smiles on their faces as they ate their chicken nuggets satisfied me.  Really, as I was serving them I was also serving myself as I got to spend quality time with them just dad and the kids.

Simple things like doing the dishes and the laundry can also take some stress off your spouse and make their life a little easier.  Personally, again, I can find doing the dishes and the laundry to be a kind of stress relief so by serving my wife, I’m also serving myself.  It’s a win win, and that’s the kind of deal I love to love.

Give To The Homeless

When a homeless person asks you if you can spare any change, happily give them a dollar or two.  If your reading this, I know you are likely in a position where giving a couple dollars can only help you.

I know myself that sometimes after giving a homeless man money I question whether I did the right thing or not.  Am I only feeding their dependence on other people to survive, further crippling them, or am I helping them?  These questions no longer arise in my mind as I know that I am more fortunate then they are and I have a responsibility to help other people who aren’t as good off as I am.  I care for more than just myself and my own family.  I care for all the people of the world and homelessness is a problem for these people.  The very least I can do is give them a dollar when they ask me.

I believe that by giving to the homeless, and helping those who are less fortunate than we are, we are adding more love into the world.  By caring enough about a perfect stranger to help finance their lives, we are contributing to the overall health of our society.  Whether you agree or disagree with me on this point, I would love to hear what you think in the comments of this post.  Be sure to leave one.

Always Tip Your Delivery Driver

When your ordering food to your house, be sure to always tip.

You don’t have to tip like your wealthy if your not.  But something is always better than nothing.  Your pizza delivery driver works hard to get you fresh hot pizza as fast as possible so reward him with a tip.  I believe tipping shows you care.  If you show you care I believe you are adding more love into this world.  It’s something simple, maybe you already tip well every time you get pizza delivered or have someone make a sub for you, but the practice of giving includes giving to those that are providing a valuable service to you (even if that service is merely delivering a pizza it’s still valuable).  Go ahead and start tipping whenever it’s applicable, and again it’s going to be also a self serving discipline.  What you get is equal to what you give so if you want more, give more.

When You’re Doing Things You Don’t Like, Instead Of Hating It, Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude could help you with anything from your job to doing housework.  You can’t be grateful and angry at the same time.  When your doing something you don’t like to do, instead of hating it and cursing the reasons why you have to do it, instead look for things about it that you can be grateful for.

When I’m at work, doing something that I don’t want to do, I simply tell myself “This is what I MUST do, I’m getting paid, so I might as well be happy about doing it”.  In addition to getting paid to do things I don’t like to do, I also get valuable work experience, working with others to get the job done.

Another instance from my life where I practiced gratitude was in doing the dishes.  Instead of thinking, “Well, my wife has been off all day and instead of doing the dishes she went out and ran around”, I think “I’m grateful for the opportunity to serve my family, I don’t have to do these dishes, I GET TO”.

Each day is a blessing and one we should be grateful for.  Instead of thinking that you have to do something, instead think that you “get to” do something.  Not everyone can do what you do, so be grateful your in the unique position to live your life to it’s fullest potential.

Cut Back Or Eliminate The Things That Aren’t Serving Your Greater Purpose

If you want to bring more love into the world, then you can start by loving yourself a little more.  Try and try again to cut back or eliminate the things that aren’t serving your greater purpose.  For me, identifying those things has been easy, but eliminating them has been a real challenge but one worth doing.

I used to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day.  I smoked American Spirits and they cost me about $8.18 a day.  I realized that feeling the way I was feeling because of the smoking wasn’t serving me.  Neither was spending almost $10 a day on the addiction.  So in late November of 2017 I decided again, that it was time to finally quit and replace it with something new.  That new thing was the vaporizer.

From experience I can say that the vaporizer is a lot better for my health and is much much less expensive then buying cigarettes.  So I’m saving my health and I’m keeping more of my hard earned money, and on top of it all I’m still not really sacrificing anything because I still have my nicotine.  The vape helps me get out of the bed in the morning, helps get me through the day, and it helps me sleep.  It has completely taken the place of cigarettes, and I’m very grateful for it.  It’s been a triumph for me eliminating cigarettes, and I give the vape the credit for that.  It’s been really really great using the vape instead of smoking, because it tastes and smells better, I can do it inside, it helps me feel healthier, and I save A LOT of money.  Smoking cigarettes wasn’t serving my greater purpose so I’m glad that I was able to stop.  What could you stop that isn’t serving your greater purpose?

When you start taking better care of yourself, you’ll be better able to take better care of others, hence bringing more love into the world.  So go for it, and cut back or eliminate those things that are causing you pain and misery, and embrace a more empowering life.

Pick Up An Additional Stream Of Income

I read in “Reinvent Yourself” that the average multi-millionaire has an average of 7 different streams of income.  If you want to love yourself, and therefore be able to love your family and others better, it’s time to add another source of income to your life.

By adding another source of income to your life you’ll be better securing yourself and your family in the lean and fat times.  You’ll have more money for yourself and for your family, and you’ll have more money to give to charity.  My grandfather has told me that charity starts at home, so the better you can take care of your family, the better you’re loving them.  The more you do, the more the universe can do for you so don’t delay and pick up those multiple streams of income as fast as you can.  Once you begin to give your family more money, you can look into giving more to charity.  Again, what you get is equal to what you give, so if you want more, give more.

For me, picking up additional streams of income means not only working my day job, but also picking up a second job that I can work nights and weekends.  Along with picking up a second job, having multiple streams of income also means working on this website, commenting on other blogs, writing articles for other sites that link back to my site, and networking with other online entrepreneurs.  From what I understand, that’s what you need to keep doing if you want to earn incomes from your blog.  So that’s what I’m going to do, what are you going to do to earn other streams of income?


If you want to bring more love into the world, start first by loving yourself better.  The more you can love yourself, the better you will be at being able to love others.  Once you’ve got a foundation of self love in place, then you’ll be able to branch out into helping your family better, and then from there you can really start to make an impact on the world.

I’m sure there are many ways you can bring more love into the world, I’ve just listed a few.  Feel free to brainstorm your own ideas and put them into practice in your life.  By loving more, you can start to help change the world for the better.

Here’s to a better world for you, me, our children, and everyone on the planet.

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A Day I Will Never Forget

That day I speak of is my wedding day.

We were married on June 25th, 2011.  We recently had our 6 year anniversary and spent it on the road, coming back from another wedding in North Carolina.

For our 6 years I got my wife a necklace.  I went to a place right next door to where I work when I got off and picked her out the one I thought she would like best.  I would have liked to spend more, but I don’t make much, am in debt, and have wasted a ton of money on drinking and smoking.

Still, I couldn’t go without buying her something, so I put it on my credit card and vowed to pay it off.

I will never forget the day I got married, as any man would.  I heard somewhere you should show your scars, so I wanted to write about the one I have on my wedding ring finger.  I got cut, I don’t know how, right before we were married, and the bizarre but fitting thing is that the scar from where I was cut is in the shape of a heart.  The skin never completely separated from my finger and the ring kept the hanging skin in place.  To this day, if I move the ring up my finger just a little bit, it will expose the scar that is in the shape of a heart.  The bottom of the heart faces inward, towards me.  Fitting and I’ll tell you why.

Marriage has been difficult for me.  I’ve done things I am ashamed of.  I wasn’t a good husband when we first started.  I had a gut feeling that we weren’t meant to be together.  I felt like the world was telling me I shouldn’t be with her.  That we weren’t meant for each other.  We had emotional conversations with each other where tears were shed and she did everything in her power to tell me that she loved me and that’s what we needed to be together.  I did love her, and I do love her, but that went against everything my gut was telling me. It was telling me that bad things would happen if we stayed together.  That it wasn’t right for us to be together.  I have been a schizophrenic since before we got married, but I wasn’t diagnosed until 2014 when the voices telling me I had cancer forced me to consult a doctor and he told me I was a schizophrenic.

Since I got married I have been hearing my father in laws voice in my head and he mostly gives me bad advice.  He tells me to drink more all the time, he tells me to die smoking, he tells me to get cancer.  I see him on a regular basis and when we are together I still hear his voice in my head, and he tells me he can hear what I’m thinking.  My schizophrenia seems to lead me to believe everyone can hear voices, that they hear my voice, and the voices of everyone else.  It’s as if my thoughts are on display for everyone that’s around me.  It makes me want to vacation in a log cabin in the woods, where there are no other people around, just nature.  I can handle when the animals and trees talk to me.

I don’t know if it was just schizophrenia, or if it was a combination of drinking too much, smoking too much pot, smoking cigarettes, generally living my life out of balance, and fooling around with marrying someone that was way over my head.  Either way, I lost the best job I ever had at a guitar factory for losing control of my emotions.  I was hearing music that told me to kill myself, and I was taking offense to it, as if everyone there was plotting against me, didn’t like me or hated me, and wanted me to get lost.  It was a tragic end to a job where I excelled.  I fell and it was very difficult to find another job that I could work well at.

I have found that job, a job I can do.  They keep promoting me so that’s a good thing.  I’m drinking less, and I’ve recently called a help line to quit smoking.  My quit date is on July 15th, 2017.  I must quit because I’m feeling pain in my body that I believe without smoking I wouldn’t be feeling.

I am at a crossroads in life.  My gut tells me I’m never going to make it online.  It tells me my only shot at becoming a millionaire is to win the lottery.  And that’s my gut talking to me, as a schizophrenic.  When it talks to me I can see written words in my midsection and it tells me things that would completely change my life if I were to follow it.

As of yesterday, it was telling me I should win the lottery jackpot, and then leave my family so that I can have sex with other women because “I want”.  My gut also tells me that if I stay with my wife my life will end in tragedy.  That leads me to what I experience on my honeymoon.

After sex at one point, when we were in Cane Garden Bay, a beautiful place, my father in laws voice said that our marriage would “end in divorce”.  This was on our honeymoon!  Imagine being told over and over that your marriage was a mistake but there was no way to stop it from happening.  All in your own mind!  And the reality is no one else can hear these things, even though it seems like they can.  So my wife goes on living like nothing is wrong, and I’m hearing all these screwed up things about the end, and death, and cheating, and it makes me want to get out.  From day one I wanted to get out.

The way it happened though is that my wife’s will was stronger than mine.  I tried to end it, I even demanded that she give me back the ring… but it was to no avail and she ended up keeping me.   6 years later we have a 4 and 1 year old, and are living our lives together the best we can.  She is a teacher and I work at a ham store, and she supports our family.  She is the breadwinner, all I do is support a little.  She pays the mortgage and all the bills.  It embarrasses me, but that’s the way it is.

I can’t say that I’m not trying to become the primary breadwinner and move us into a bigger house, retire my wife so she can raise our kids full time, and live a life that is the calling for all men.  I was in church recently and they said that men had a “divine” calling to support their wives.  It made me feel bad that my it’s the other way around with my wife and I.  Still my wife seems happy with the way things are going, and she tells me she loves me and holds my hand.  My father put it accurately “it could always be worse”.

To this day, I am told to die in my head, and that my life will end “in prison”.  The voices are persistant in seeking my death, but I command myself to LIVE and I try to do the right things that are going to lead to better quality of life.  Reading, journaling, blogging, meditation, visualization, exercise, eating right, quitting smoking, listening to podcasts are among some of the things I do to create that better quality of life.  I still don’t know if I should work with my hands or try to make it in sales at my current job, but all I know is that I need to quit smoking.

The statistic is that 90% of schizophrenics smoke.  I would like to be a part of the 10% who do not.  It has ruined relationships and made me an unhealthy person, and I seek to quit for the good of everyone.  It’s not too late for me, I can still create a better life.

I will always remember June 25th, 2017, the day I married my wife.  Our life together has been a mess, and one I am still in the process of cleaning up, but there is a silver lining to everything.  She loves me and my kids make me smile so no matter what the voices are telling me I can take shelter in that. The voices are a nightmare I can’t wake up from, but they make me stronger.  They help me to decide what I want and what I do not want.  They test me, and it’s time I start passing the test and be faithful, not smoke, be happy, and live.

This is a personal development blog aimed at helping me to orient myself, and I hope that you too can benefit by reading it.   I encourage you to explore it further, and continue to check back for new posts.  They will get better with time.  If you want to make it easy on yourself, you can subscribe to my list and I’ll send you updates to this blog so you know when a new post comes out.

Here’s to you knowing what you want, no matter what the voices or anyone or anything else tells you,

Jesse Creel

A Story About The Benefit Of An Act Of Kindness

So I worked in the store today.  I had to be there at 7:30am which is an hour and a half earlier than usual.  I had to take a breakfast delivery into the city.  I did the delivery and then I came back to the store.  It took me about an hour and a half.

When I got back one of the women I work with, who tells everyone she is my girlfriend, asked me to pick up her some Dirty potato chips from the other store I was going to be working at for the rest of the day.  I had to pick up some tape for the pricing guns and bring it back to my home store so I would be coming back anyways.  So my coworker asked me to bring her the chips back with the tape when I returned.

I worked the rest of the day at the other store and then left.  I realized I had forgot to get her the bag of chips and I took a second to debate on whether I should turn around now that I was already on the road.  I could have told my coworker that I had forgotten about the chips and left it at that, but I decided to be kind and do her the favor she had asked me to do so I turned around and went back to the store.

They gave me an 80% discount so the chips only cost me about 30 cents.  I bought them and on the way out they came after me calling my name.  They said there was a delivery that needed to be done that they had forgotten about until just now.  As it turns out this was a special kind of delivery which pays $30 cash when you do it.  So as a result of me turning around to do a friend a favor, I ended up being rewarded by the universe by receiving more money.  I didn’t do it for more money, I did it to be kind to a coworker.  It just so happens that my kindness opened me up to receiving more money.  Go figure!

That’s just a short story that I wanted to share with you about how kindness can pay.  I hope you enjoyed it.  If you would subscribe to my list I will send you updates to this blog.  Make sure you subscribe!

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day!

Jesse Creel

Working 9 And A Half Hours For 7 Days Straight

That’s what I’m working now, I’m in the middle of it.  It’s Wednesday and my next day off is Easter Sunday.  We are very busy this time of year, a lot of work to be done, for long hours, and for days on end.

It really will be a ten day stretch for me.  And this probably isn’t even a big deal for a lot of you who just work your jobs during the Holidays, and get your hours.

But I really do love the holiday.  I work long hours and I get huge paychecks.  Huge in comparison to what I get the rest of the year.  And because they’ve given me raises since last year, this Holiday should be my best check yet.

But I’m sure it will all balance out, and even though I’ll be making more then when I started, I will not be making it like I did at my first good job.  One that was a terrible loss to take.

I increased my hourly pay from 10 dollars an hour to 18.50 an hour in 2 years.  That was a great success of mine.  I really know how to work hourly.  But I lost it all because of interpersonal ineffectiveness, and I couldn’t get along with the group.  But more than anything I was being driven into rock and roll and business.

So really, I want to focus on my strengths of getting promoted rapidly and I can worry about keeping the job after I get the raises.  I think now, looking back on it, an attitude of gratitude could have really helped me.  I was hating what I was doing.

Now I love what I do, and I love the people I work with, and it almost seems like a accident that it all happened like this.  I’m being promoted along with another friend of mine that also works there, and she started not long after I did.  She’s already an assistant manager!  So it’s the two of us going up together and it’s pretty cool.  Her as a manager and me as a salesperson.  Really, their only salesperson.

But I really think that anyone could get it, though something tells me that not everyone could do what I do.  But I think everyone has that potential, and really there’s only one way to find out if you can do something, and that is to DO IT!

I have a pretty long list of things I cannot do.  A lot of sales jobs.  I give all the credit to God for my current success, and when I look at it that way I can’t help but think that God just wasn’t with me when I was failing.  Maybe I should look at like God is always with us, and we merely have to be valuable people to make it in the world.

For me, because of my massive failure at my first really good job, I almost want to take a class on interpersonal effectiveness.  Although I do have a therapist, and he helps me with some of those things.  So it’s not like I haven’t really done anything about my problem with interpersonal effectiveness.  I’m working on it.

But as I mentioned earlier, I really think being grateful for my first job would have helped me get through and improve on those rough days with the people.  You can only keep your head down and work for so long before you have to take notice of what’s going on around you.  And the sooner you do, the better off you’ll be.

In fact, that should really be the first thing you attend to when you get in.  Interpersonal effectiveness.  I’m not good at it.  It’s gotten me fired before.  I am lucky to have another chance at growth at a different job, but it was a long hard road getting from the first to second job.  And a lot of sales jobs and failures along the way.

Thank God I now get paid hourly to sell.  I’m not making 18.50 an hour but I am making more than when I started.  Three dollars and twenty five cents more.  It’s taken me almost two years to do that.  So not as good as the first job, but still good, still advancing.  Something to keep you interested.

But what I do right now is make almost $20,000 dollars a year, working at my hourly job.  I want to be able to take that and make it my MONTHLY income.  That would definitely be an achievement.  Something worth writing about.  So I’m set out to do it.  And I’m going to write my way there.

At least that’s the plan.  I also want to get an album together.  Something I could put up for sale.  I’m really going to give this internet thing a shot and see if I can make a million dollars.  Really I need 15 million, but a million is a start.  You gotta figure, after you make your first million, the other 14 have got to come easier.  At least that’s the way I see it.

But the way I see it, if you do it with passion, the money will come.  If you make something valuable, people are going to buy it.  If you are a good salesman, who lives your life in balance, you will sell things.  If you are a good worker, and do your job well, your boss will take care of you.  Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong, but that’s just the way I CHOOSE to look at things.

And I think that choice effects my reality.  It makes my life better.  I am taken care of because I am a good person who gives and takes care of other people.  Not that bad things won’t happen, and less bad things will happen then you think they will, but life is not without it’s struggles.

Take Jesus Christ for example.  His life was filled with suffering, and the way he died was no exception.  You gotta figure good people suffer everyday.

So if your good and your suffering, my heart goes out to you.  I wish I could give you twenty dollars.  My money goes to the church and to my family, and to my cigarettes and wine, and to gas and food.  And of course to my credit card.  Which the good news is I’m paying off.

But I do plan to give more to my church, so that people who are suffering can live a little bit better of a life.  If I really make it, I might look into other donations of charity.

For now, I want to sell ebooks and rock and roll so that I can buy a bigger house.  So I’m writing everyday.  I hope you have enjoyed this days post, I know I have enjoyed writing it.  Thanks for reading, take great care of yourself.

Peace and Love,

Jesse Creel

The Advantages Of Living With A Mild Case Of Schizophrenia

Yes, I am a schizophrenic, but I think you could call my particular case mild.  I still hear voices everyday, and a lot of times they tell me to die or they just scream the word “cancer” at me, but at times the voices are an aide and they become useful.

Don’t get me wrong, there are limitations imposed upon any schizophrenic’s thinking.  To me what that means is that as a schizophrenic I just have to work harder than the average person for success.  One of the advantages the schizophrenia has taught me is the strength to focus.  If the voices go off in different directions, I just have to work harder to maintain my focus so I can get done what I need to get done.

But my case of schizophrenia is mild.  It really doesn’t effect my own thinking, and my own emotions, and my own actions.  At least it doesn’t anymore.  I’ve made many big mistakes as I was learning to cope with my schizophrenia.  They’ve told me to lie, cheat, and steal and I’ve had to come to terms with my own values and learn to say NO!

So one big advantage of schizophrenia is that you learn what you value and what you will and will not do.  You learn, or re-learn from experience the difference between right and wrong.  And sometimes the schizophrenia acts as the voice of the conscious.  Letting you know about all the wrongs you’ve done in your life and the advantage of that is to learn from them, and begin again to do the right thing.

Another advantage of schizophrenia is that it sometimes aides in visualization.  I’ve heard stories of very successful people practicing positive self talk before a big presentation and hearing the voices of the crowd say YES!  It’s much like that in that when I’m visualizing, with enough focus and effort I can hear the sounds of success from the voices.  They tell me I’m famous, that my work is good, that I’ll make lots of money, that I have a good family, and that I overall am the greatest human being on planet earth.  And I can feel those words in my body.  I can feel more powerful because I have the reinforcement of voices that seem to be coming from a place other than my own mind.  And that is valuable in the respect that it gives me hope for a better future.

Another advantage of having a mild case of schizophrenia is it increases creativity.  It gives you things to write about.  I’ve written an entire book on a year of my life that without the schizophrenia it wouldn’t be much of a story at all.  This blog is also host to many posts on schizophrenia, so really the problem I have has given me a lot to write about.  I was just reading some other schizophrenic’s poetry online when I was searching for the title “schizophrenic writes about love”.  His poetry was dark though.  I just can’t do that.  I have to stay positive and optimistic about the present and the future.  And I have to share my stuff with the world… for better or worse.  Although when asking myself the question “How do I add value for a massive number of people” I think that the majority of my work is going to be positive.  And really not only do I want it to be positive, but I want it to be the best in the world.  The best on the internet.  I want to be the greatest schizophrenic alive.  And I think I can do that through creative writing.  And I think you can do that too!

And finally, yet another advantage of schizophrenia is that, for me at least, it’s taught me how to thank God for everyday.  There’s very few days that go bye that I don’t thank God for another day.  Any of us could die at any time from any reason and my schizophrenia is a constant daily reminder of that.  I thank God for another day, each day and I am daily being taught how to live my life to the fullest.  That is probably the greatest advantage of the schizophrenia that I have noticed.

I hope that you have gained some valuable insights from this post.  Feel free to write me at any time if you feel the need and let me know what you think of this whole thing.  You can reach me at  Thank you, I love you, and God Bless!

So I’ve Been Hearing Clicking Sounds On The Computer Screen

Yes, it’s been weird with all the voices at work but it’s been fun and it’s been good too.

But I’m paying my wife more money.  I’ve been working more because of the Thanksgiving holiday so I had more money to give.  So it’s going to be a nice Chirstmas.  We’re going to get our tree tonight.

We have a birthday party to go to.  A friend of ours.  Her daughter.  It should be good to see them.  They gave me the weekend off at work, which was like a dream come true.  So I have time to do things with my family.  Tomorrow I’m changing the brakes in my wife’s car.  My dad is going to help me do it because he’s more mechanical and has all the tools.  It doesn’t take long to do it.  Just have to take the tire off and pop off the brake pads, put the new ones in and pop it back on.  Then put the wheel back on and your done.  I’ve seen him do it a few times.  I help.

I had some wine last night, my wife bought it and two pizzas. I hadn’t had anything since last weekend.  I’ve just been so busy working that there was no time to drink, no money, no health to drink.  I needed food when I was working.  That’s what kept me motivated.  And I was making money!  Happy as a clam.

And the company I work for is great.  They give you all kinds of free stuff and bonuses during the holidays.  They say it’s the most important time of the year and if it weren’t for the holidays they wouldn’t exist. So they give you money and wish you peace and love in their letters to you, the ones that come with money, and they tell you your important and thank you for working.  It’s really very nice.  Makes you want to work there.

But I’ve been driving the truck and I hope that I can keep driving it.  I love driving the truck.  I love doing the deliveries.  It’s something that I can do.  I can also lift and I do some of that too.  50 pound boxes over and over again.  Taking them from one spot to the other.

But I love my wife and I love my family and it’s my number one priority to spend time with them when I’m not working.  We went to Laurel racetrack on Thanksgiving.  It’s a tradition that we started 4 years ago to go on Thanksgiving.  We see and pet the horses and place a bet on one of the races.  They give away free coffee and donuts, and if you buy a program, which only costs 3 dollars you get a free pie on your way out.  I bought the program just for the pie.  They also had basketball games that cost a dollar per turn and air hockey that we played.  We took lots of pictures.

Just wanted to update my blog, still have things to do today… hope your holiday goes smoothly and many blessings to you and yours.  Thank you.  Jesse Creel.

I Must Live, Therefore I Must Change My Daily Actions

I’ve been drinking too much and I’m still smoking cigarettes.  I did throw out my bowl however, today.  I put it right in the trash.  It’s garbage anyways and it’s probably the reason I’m a schizophrenic.  Which makes me think I’m dying all the time.  Which is no good.

Probably more than anything else… what makes me think that I’m dying is the drinking and smoking.  I feel terrible.  I’m recovering now from a drunk that lasted probably since my birthday… which was on the 14th.  I drank everyday and it made me sick.  I’m tired of doing this to myself.  The beautiful thing is I can change.  I must change so that I can live a better life.  The voice tells me now not to drink.

I wouldn’t even be writing on this blog because it’s a bad day and I don’t like to write about the bad things about my life and put it on the internet but I can’t find my journal.  So I’m just putting it out there.

One positive thing I can get out of this day is to change my life. Become a nonsmoker sober runner worker, lottery winner, good family man.  I’m afraid my son is going to take after me and bad things will happen to him living a destructive lifestyle.  So I want to change so I can be a good example for him.  I want to be the example that I never call out of work, I don’t drink,  I don’t do drugs, I don’t smoke.  And I give my family as much money as I can.  I’m going to have to find a way to pay for their colleges and for Cali’s wedding… if she does get married.

The point is if you drink and smoke you can possibly end up like me.  Miserable and calling out of work.  Letting yourself down, and all the people who depend on you.  And you will be a terrible example to your children who need you to teach them how to live.  I’m 32 and I’ve been getting high, drunk, and all around fucked up for years and I hope that I can stop now and embrace water, good food, and exercise.  And give up smoking.

I hope that today I take on this new life and commit to changing.  I hope that the blog posts to follow will be ones that have committed to my change and progress and that I can share with you stories of health, love, success, growth, and wealth.  God willing I will make all of these changes and live a long and happy life full of enjoyment.  Even enjoyment as a non smoker sober runner.  And be a strong role model for my children.

God help me.

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