JesseCreel.com

To Inspire You To Take Action And Improve!

Tag: The lottery

Schizophrenia And Drinking And Smoking

Yes, you could call me a schizophrenic.

But only if I told you I heard voices everyday.  And had visions of people.  People I know.

And the voices sometimes, a lot of times tell me to drink.  And a lot of times I do.

And basically I’m just praying I live.  Considering I smoke too.

I don’t advise this kind of writing to anyone, it’s too dangerous.

But reading it you might get a kick out of it.

I imagine feet.

That’s just how a schizophrenic writes.

I do my best though, and I really do want to bring massive value to the table.  And what I can tell you is even if your schizophrenic and drink and smoke everyday, you can still hold down a job and give some money to your family.

It would probably be more kid friendly without the smoking and the drinking, but they get by.

And I think my son has hater’s before he’s even done anything.  Because of me.  And my drinking and smoking.  Having a beautiful family.

Really I probably do lead a God damned life with all the drinking, smoking and lottery playing.

But that’s not stopping me from living.

And they say it’s a bad thing, but it’s legal!

What I have to do is find a way to get more traffic so more people see my list and will subscribe to it.

Because that’s how they say you can build a business.

It’s already costing me money to keep this site running, and I’m not making any money off of it yet.  I hope I will.  I hope that this is one of the ways I make my money.  The other two being my job and the lottery.

But really some authors think you should keep it a secret.  I say let it out and that way when you win people will have something to look at.  The story leading up to the win.  They can look back on it, and learn from you, and hopefully for some of them they learn how to win the lottery too!

Because that would just be awesome.  Getting a testimonial or several from people who have read your work, and then won the lottery.  Hit the jackpot.  Shared it with another person or won the whole thing.  Stories of both.  Because you won and shared what you knew.  It had a positive effect on the world.

The bible would probably say that is God damned too.  The bible with all of this God damnedness.

I’m probably no better than the devil though.  I’ll probably burn in hell when this life is over.  I’m a schizophrenic and when I go to church the preachers voice tells me not to drink and it makes me shaky.  I know they are just voices, but sometimes it’s like my body is listening to them when they tell me to die.

But I know it’s not.  I know I just have to be stronger.  I’m only 32.  I could suffer another 20 or 30 years this way.  This is far from over.  And I might even quit the life and live clean and sober and start running.

But really I’m already well pretty accustomed to this way of life.  I like it.  I enjoy the ride.

Probably going straight to hell though.

Even if I do win the lottery and give large sums of money away to charity.

That would be me just living life on earth.  Nothing to do with what happens to me after I die.

Or maybe it does.  I don’t know.

And if it pisses you off the way I write then go read something else.  Because your comments are what I need to stay just the way I am.  An artist.  A writer.

I may use and, and but too much, but that’s just the way I write.  I get the point across.  You know what I’m talking about and that’s what I’m talking about.

And I want to walk the walk too.  So I’m going to write the best blog post I can possibly write, right now.

And how do I create the worlds most valuable piece of writing everyday?

Just write and see what happens.

Probably with the drinking and smoking it will be less than average.  Or it will be stupendous.

I don’t know, you tell me in the comments.

What I can tell you is that I’m optimistic about tonight’s lottery.  I think I’m going to win.  Before I bought the two first tickets I wrote out a page in my journal about how I was a lottery winner, and drank my first glass of wine.

Then I went out and bought the first two tickets.

Then I ran out of cigarettes and went out and bought two more.

So I spent 8 dollars on lottery tickets today, and I’m praying I’ll win.  I’m praying to the universe, to my subconscious mind.

And what I’m hoping is that MY subconscious mind is powerful enough to influence a national lottery game.

Maybe I’m trying to catch the breeze with this one.

Maybe I’ll just buy my tickets and hope I win but do no more than that.

I doubt it.  I’ll probably never quit, and keep the faith, and eventually win.

I might even win a few times.  Just to win more money.  Just to be a winner.

If I could design it that’s what would happen.  I would win big several times.

I’m hoping that the 165 million on the line tonight is already mine.

I’ll write about it if I win.  I’ll also release my website in the press interview and get loads of traffic.

Then the world could see what I’m really all about.

Having schizophrenia, and drinking and smoking, and working a job, and taking care of my family, and cleaning the house, and writing, and playing guitar, and being a brother, and being a friend, and loving food, and dancing.

Well maybe not so much the dancing, but it’s more of a metaphor.

The dance of life.

And part of what I want to tell the world is that I love my wife.  So for all of you ladies out there, I’m taken, and I don’t plan on going back to a life of cheating any time soon.

I just want to raise our family in our dream home, and take lots of vacations all over the world.

I’m going to get my testes snipped so it will be impossible for us to have any more children.

And the vacation after that procedure will probably be well worth it.

It will be, and I intend to make it happen.

But really, I don’t think I can impose my will onto the universe.  Part of me thinks people just win the lottery.  There’s hardly ever any will involved.  People win by chance.

Sure maybe they get feelings like they are going to win, but I make myself have those everyday, and I haven’t won.  Of course that doesn’t mean I won’t win tonight.

I’ve already done a lot of work to win the jackpot.  I think it’s only a matter of time.  I would be famous if that happened, and this website and the Jesse Creel brand would explode.

How did I do it?

I drank and smoked, and played to win.  I wrote in my journal and I worked hard everyday.  I got to a place where I was secure at my job.  I succeeded at my job.  I helped my family.  I got to a better place.  I recovered from a loss.  Then I won the jackpot.  Then I got everything I wanted.  It was a miracle.  It was my special time.  I was a multi millionaire.

That’s how the story goes.

That’s how my story goes.  And if it’s madness I don’t care.  I like it and I’m a valuable part of society.  I deliver food.

Hopefully your reading this and I am already a multimillionaire.  Maybe you want to learn how to do the same for your own life.  I tell you my secret.  Never give up.

Even if the voices tell you that your wrong and your doing bad things, and things will never work out, and your going to die, you can STILL work a job and be a effective member of your family and your community.

Take the next step further like I do and keep a blog and you’ll start to influence the whole world.

There are going to be some special people that find your work and read your blog.  They will leave comments and tell you what they think about it.  Most of them will be nice.  You will like getting comments.  Subscribers would be better, but comments are still good.  They let you know how your doing.

And along with my own self navigation and the comments, I am lead to believe I’m doing good.  And I want more.  I must write.  I must deliver the content.  To the masses.  To my people.  To my good people.  The good people of the world.

Delusional?

I would say that “All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.” -Ambrose Bierce

If I win the jackpot they will probably call me a prophet.  If I don’t a madman.

I’d rather have the former.

And I’m optimistic that I will.

Maybe I might lose some readers, but I stand to gain fame and fortune.

Time will tell what happens.

For now I stay optimistic.

I do the work on the lottery, though I don’t know that my work of writing and praying really does anything to your chances of winning.  Spiritually I think it does have an effect on your life.  Praying to win.  But I do it, because I never give up and I MUST win.  And if I get going once, I’m probably going to want to win a couple more times too, and I’m going to write about the whole thing.  It really should be spectacular.

And I do rock and roll albums too.

I have one in the works.

You can hear a sample of me playing guitar and singing here.

It’s not much.  It’s only about 10 years worth of work.  Maybe there is such a thing as not being able to work it into a success, but I can’t accept that.

I MUST keep doing what I do, even if it’s not good.

It’s all I know how to do.

I’m probably just too hard on myself, and I’m really great, I just need to keep working.

So keep working I will.

On this blog, on my job, on my life, on my family, on my friends, on the things that are important most to me.  Drinking and smoking the whole way through it.

But maybe I’ll win the jackpot tonight.  I’m very optimistic that I will.  And that I’ll have a good story to tell about it.  And that’s going to happen or I’m going to write for the rest of my life about it and be a loser.

Die empty handed.

I guess in the end it doesn’t matter anyways.  I say go for it.  It may be on the edge of madness but it’s also on the brink of genius.  Then again, that’s just what I think, go ahead and form your own opinion.  Am I mad?

Maybe if I got sober I would stand a better chance at manifesting a lottery win.  Maybe not.  All I know is my story could either be a really sad one or a really happy one, depending on how you look at it.

All I know is that people are going to call me a saint after I’ve given away some of my winnings to charity.

It’s going to be sinfully glorious to help other people out.  Going to burn in hell but at least I can live it up while I’m here.

Maybe I’ll be forgiven, Jesus afterall is a forgiver.

But you probably have to stop what your doing for him to forgive you and I am, still drinking and smoking.

I hope the best life for you,

Thanks for reading,

Jesse Creel

Playing To Win 25 Million

It’s a thrill.

Buying 4 tickets.

Two of them being powerball number 4’s.  Bought at the same time.  On my trip with the kids to get cigarettes and m&m’s.

I bought other tickets earlier when I was out taking the kids to the park.  Today I had to take the day off to watch the kids.  No one else could do it.

Tomorrow I get back to work, and I do my sales thing.  That will be regardless if I win or not.  But hopefully it will be WITH me winning and I’ll be a multimillionaire driving around selling ham.

Because I definitely wouldn’t leave my company hanging.  They have done a lot for me.  I would work until they didn’t need me anymore.  Until they’ve found my replacement.

Then I would probably travel the world.

I’ll give you a taste of what I would do.

I’ll share with you what I wrote under my first entry into a new note in my Iphone.

It’s entitled “Dream Dialogue”

“5/9/17

I’ve won the Jackpot.  I feel great.  I made 15 million in cash overnight! My family and I are moving into a bigger house and we’re going to get two puppies.  I’m going to give 10% to a church.  I’m going to give $1,000 to each of my coworkers.  I’m going to buy a $500,000 house and make $250,000 of improvements to it and make it worth a million dollars.  I’m going to retire my wife so she can be a bigger part of raising our family.  I feel splendid.  I’m going to keep my job for as long as I can.  I’m going to get drunk and write rock and roll poetry.  I’m going to keep my blog.  When I retire I’m going to start a world class blues band.  My wife is going to retire.  I’m going to write a book on winning (the jackpot).  I’m going to go public ad in the press interview I’m going to plug my website.  The more readers I have the better”.

That was what I wrote.

I’m planning on keeping my dream dialogue going until I hit the jackpot.  Write one for every time I play.  If something happens, something happens.

I would say that what I do wouldn’t ever hurt your chances of winning.  Writing it down can only help.

Then again, like my counselor would say, writing it down isn’t going to do anything.

For now all I can say is that I have 4 tickets and the cash option for this drawing is 15 million, and that’s what I need to retire.

Although I wouldn’t get all 15 million because I would have to pay taxes.  But I still would get several million dollars.  Enough to make my dreams come true.

You gotta figure it.  If I take my website to the masses on that press interview I’ll get a lot of exposure.  More and more and more and more people would read my work.  I would have a better shot at getting email list subscribers.  And once you have subscribers your on your way to your own business that pays you profits!

And I could make the transition into profits from wages.  Not to mention I would have a fat nest egg to do what I want with.

I discussed it with my daughter today and the first thing we both would do is to buy a bigger house so we call could live comfortably together.  And that would lead us to getting two dogs.  The two go together.  New house, two dogs.  That’s the dream.

But if I do win and this does go public then I’ll have an instant following ready to read my work.  And some of them may even pay me money for it.

I would sell an ebook, maybe even get a real publisher to publish one of my books.  Something on how I won the lottery.  A how to letter from a winner to the public to help them discover how to win.  I’ve heard to two stories of people who knew they were going to win and won.  One young guy and one middle aged woman.

The young guy heard voices in his head telling him numbers and when he told his family and friends they told him to play the lottery.  When he put the numbers in the voices stopped.  He said that experience lead him to know he was going to win.  He won that night.

The other woman who won lost her brother in an accident and took on his 4 kids to raise.  She must be a good person.  Karma must have liked her because she won 112 million.  She wrote out 112,000,000 on a piece of paper and put it under her pillow.  As the story goes a few weeks later the jackpot was at 112 million and she won.  She was all smiles.

I figure if I win it will be unheard of.  A blogger who wrote about winning hours before it happening.  More likely I won’t win and this will all be a bad joke.  But I don’t think about things in those terms.  I’m constantly positive.  I COULD win.  And not only COULD I win, but I work myself into a state of winning.  I did win a dollar or two 6 or 7 times in a row.  That was about a year ago.  I must have been doing something right.  I think it’s possible I become rich tonight.

And take that ride.

And if I win I could do my best to lead other people to winning the jackpot too.  In the USA there’s a drawing 4 times a week.  That’s a lot of chances to win.  That’s more than half the week.  And people could read my work and be inspired to start a journal and write about all the things they would do if they won the jackpot.  And it’s a possibility that some of them would win the jackpot too!  I’m talking the two big games.  Mega Millions and the Powerball.  Win one of them.  Make yourself a multimillionaire overnight.

Well, it probably wouldn’t happen overnight.  Really it’s taken me years to get to my current level.  But at this point I think I’m about to pop and the jackpot simply MUST be waiting for me on the other side.  That or maybe I’ll just die.  I hope I live though, and I hope I win the jackpot.  For my family, friends, and people I don’t know.

My dad however was telling me he has been reading the bible.  He said that in it he read that when you publicize your good deeds and do them on a mass scale, for your own glory, then your not doing the right thing.  And I guess to some degree I do have some of that in me.  I want to be rich so I can give more to the world.  From what my dad told me that’s a bad thing.  He’s probably right.

But when your giving to the church, and to schizophrenics, and to teachers, I don’t think your doing the wrong thing.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with that.  And that’s just what I want to do.  I want to give.  I don’t want to keep all the money.  I want the money I get to also work on making the world a better place.

So this will most definitely not be the last you hear from me.  Whether I win tonight, tomorrow, Friday, or Saturday the 13th… I’m playing to win now.  And you’ll know if I win, you can be sure of that.  So make sure you check back and read the new posts and subscribe to my list.  I’ll send you primo content, the best of Jesse Creel.  And I’m worth over 100 million dollars, so you can be sure your getting good stuff.

Thanks for reading, here’s to your health.

Jesse Creel

How To Blog 6 Days A Week For A Month

I think it comes down to just doing it.

That’s what I did.  The posts are up here for you to read.

And I love it.

I love writing.

It helps me grow.

And that’s immediate.

That’s an immediate return on investment.

The investment being time, and the money it takes to host this blog.

So I think it’s worth it.

Plus you never know, I might be able to get a 6 figure business out of this website before it’s said and done.

I might sell the Empower Network to my list once it gets big enough.

That depends on what I think of the Empower Network at the time.  It might be something else.

Or I’ll just sell my ebooks to my customers and learn how to profit starting small.

If I do well with ebooks I might get into making other products.  Information products.

I would probably get a lot of complaints though, if the comments are any indication of how I’m doing.

Today I had over 20 new comments.  A couple good a couple bad and the rest spam.

Still, I am inspiring people to take action and leave a comment.

So anyways, if you want to write everyday for a month, go for it.  But don’t forget to take one day off a week.  It will be good for you.  Even God took one day off.

For me today is a day of rest.  I’m going over to a friends for lunch and beers.  I have to drive so  I won’t be drinking like I do at home, but I’m going to wrap up my drinking today and get back to work tomorrow and make my money.

I’m also going to try and quit cigarettes again.

God help me.

Though part of me does think I might be better off smoking.

And part of me, the better part of me thinks I should give it up.

I think I might go sober and smoke free and THEN play the lottery to win the jackpot.  I might get better results.

I might get the result of winning the jackpot.

I had a dream that my Uncle, one who never comes around, who used to smoke and drink and gave it up, he gave me a lottery ticket.  In the dream I thought it was the winner.  Maybe the dream is telling me that in order to win I have to give up drinking and smoking.

I don’t know.

All I know is that so far I’ve been drinking and smoking and haven’t won, so maybe it’s time to try something else.

I also know that I love writing.

I love writing down my adventures of work, the lottery, blogging, family life, income, and everything about my day.

The best part is that maybe if I put out some really valuable stuff then I might be able to make a living off of my writing.  I’ll just have to see.

My friend has finished his editing of my first ebook “Take Action and Improve!”

I’m going to try and pick it up from him today.  I have another day off on Friday so I think I’ll use that time to re write my book.  It might take me longer than a day, but with my enthusiasm, I’ll probably work on it all day.

Because I’m really excited about making this website better.  I want to get my picture on the top of it so you can see me.  I also want to give my ebook away for free to my email subscribers.  That’s in the works.

But I’m very excited about working.  I love working on myself and my website.  It gives me something to do with my free time that makes me feel like I’m making progress in life.  It’s rewarding.

But it’s not easy.  Especially when your trying to put out 2,000 quality words everyday.

Some would say my content is not quality, but I say there’s value in there.  I believe in my work.  I think that by selling people on reading about my life, they are benefiting.  And I think the benefit is entertainment.

Not to mention a few gold nuggets of information in there as well.

And really I’ve got to keep reading.  I want to become MORE valuable.  And I think that can be done by reading.  So really, YOU are making yourself more valuable by reading this.

And I’m here to tell you you can blog for 6 days a week.

I’m going for 90 days of blogging 6 days a week.  I have two more months to go.  By the end of it, I’ll have a lot more content on this website.  And I will have grown.

Keep checking back to see if I’ve quit smoking and drinking yet.

That’s a work in progress.

If figure I’ll be a lot better as a sober, non smoker, runner.

But if you want to blog 6 days a week.  Get ready.  People will screw with you and tell you you suck.  Haters.  Just gotta keep playing to win.

But I’m not worried because I’m getting better by the day.  My writing is improving and I’m becoming better.  A better storyteller.

I’ve been thinking of writing something fictional.  Something about the workplace.

The drama of the bosses and the workers.  And the customers.

Maybe I’ll write a fiction about a marriage.

Loosely base it on my own marriage, after all people, we are supposed to be writing what we know.

I don’t always do that, please forgive me.

I’ll try to do better.  And write what I know.

And I do know how to blog for 6 days a week.

I’m into my second month doing it.

There will probably be plenty more of this to come as well.  The 90 day periods of blogging over the next 8 years.  Even if I only did one a year I would have a lot of content by the end of that 8 years.  And I would also most likely be a lot better writer.

And if your going to blog for 6 days a week, a good way to look at it is you have got to make time for it.  Everyday.  No matter how your day was at work.  6 or 9 hours.  Both days you have to blog.  You’ve got make time to do it.

And it’s even harder when you have a family to be a mom or a dad to.  And a spouse you have to be a spouse for.

But I figured out how to do it, so there’s no excuses.  You can do it too.

I aim to be helpful.

All I need now is a list with 150,000 people on it.

Then I could make money off this website.

Launch with 150,000 people on your list.  Your bound to make some money.

Maybe you could quit your job.

But that’s not the point for me.  I might even keep my job.  To keep the income.  I don’t want to get out of where I am now.  I just want to make it better.

And my life would be better if I had a list.

That would be an accomplishment.

So I’m writing with the goal of people reading it and then getting on my email list to get more of my stuff.

And it is HOT stuff.

The comments say so.

So I just gotta keep cooking up the good stuff and try quitting cigarettes and alcohol to make my life better.

It would also help if I won the lottery.

The jackpot tonight is for 130 million dollars dollars.

I already have two tickets.  I bought them yesterday.

I journal about winning the jackpot.  I’ve done a lot of that in the past, and I still do it.  I did it today.

I ask myself the question how?

How do I win the jackpot?

Last night the answer was prayer and meditation.  I did both and I didn’t win the Mega Millions last night.  I think I’m going to journal more and keep asking myself the question how do I.

I could probably put my focus on something else, like how do I sell e books?

But the lottery is a lot of fun and you could turn into a multi millionaire overnight.

Although part of me does think it’s a bad idea to suddenly have millions of dollars.

I guess I haven’t worked it out with my subconscious yet.

But I’m working on changing that.

I want it to feel good to win, and for it to be a good thing that I won.

And I think it will feel that way with anything I do.

On the other hand sometimes you have to do things when you don’t feel like doing them, and it’s worth it to do them in those times.

So maybe having reservations about winning and then playing anyways isn’t a bad thing.  It’s just me doing what I MUST do.  Which is to find a way to make a better life for my family.

Granted the lottery is only one way you can get what you need.  There are many other ways, one after the other, always coming at you, for you to be a success and receive income.

This is what I blog about.

What do you think you would blog about?

Just a question to get your mind working on how you could improve your life.

Maybe leave a comment in answer to that question.

Be a part of the community here on JesseCreel.com.

But I feel strong and able to accomplish what I need to do.

And what I need to do is write this blog.

You can have subscribers or even readers if you don’t write.

And I figure if you want to be world class at something you have got to start with what you’ve got.

And I’ve got an hourly sales job.

I can write about that!

And if I clean up my life and live in balance, I’m sure I could get a good commission sales job and clean up on income.

And then I would be writing about success in commission sales!

And that would be even more worth reading.

I can see it now.  Going from $20,000.00 a year to $100,000.00 a year.

How to grow your income by $80,000.00 would be the blog post.

I definitely think I should be reading more.

If I got my life into balance I’m sure I would read more.

All the bad habits gone.  Replaced by good habits that serve to earn me more money.

And I can see it now, lottery jackpot winner.

I could write a book about my methods of getting there.

To winning the jackpot.

That would be great.

And it would be even better if I could win 2 or 3 different jackpots.

Then I would really have a story on my hands.

I don’t think anyone has ever won more than one jackpot in their lifetime.

So I would be breaking new ground.

It’s possible.

Anything is possible.

I dream big.

But I can say investing my time and money into this website is more important than buying lottery tickets.  I’m an entrepreneur first, then a lottery winner.

At least that’s my estimation of myself.

I’m more than that, I’m a worker, a family man, a salesman, a rock and roller, a writer, a poet, a composer, a listener, a neighbor, a friend.

I’m a lot of things.  I’m working on being a hero.  For my family and for the world.

And if things go according to plan, and I make money off of this website, then I will be a hero.

I will be able to say I’ve made it.  I designed it.  I live the life I want to live.  I create and people consume.  The world is a better place because of what I do.  That’s my goal.  That’s what I’m striving for.

And I think we can make this world a better place together, by blogging and working and taking care of our families, and being the best friends we can be.  And all the good things of life.  We can make that for ourselves and for others.  And be a light in the darkness.

Thanks for reading.  Take good care of yourself,

Jesse Creel

How To Get 178 Good For Approval Comments On Your Blog

And the short answer to that question is to blog everyday for a year and a half, and you’ll eventually hit the nail on the head a one or two of your posts will take off and get other people writing on your website about it.

And I have been blogging for a year and a half on this domain and I haven’t even been blogging everyday.  This is my first go at doing it everyday for 90 days.  I only have something like 74 posts as of right now.  For a while I was only writing once a week.

But I was still moving.  Now I intend to pick up the pace, and get more traffic and more subscribers, and more buyers to this site.  And I intend on doing that by creating valuable content.

So here’s my story.

I’m a family man, a worker, a salesman, a rock and roller, and I’m a wannabe millionaire off of ebooks.  That’s what my first ebook was about, upon reflecting on it.

It’s the story about how you can blog and create income.  And that it’s possible for ANYONE to do it.  The way I see it, I’m a writer first and then a business owner second.  The part of me that makes the money comes after the work itself.  Really though time will tell all.

All I know is that I MUST keep writing.  No matter what.  Wine or not.  Cigarettes or not.  I must keep writing.  That’s my ticket to freedom.  At least that’s what I believe I can free myself from my job with.  And after I finally do it, I’m going to tell everyone exactly how I did it, and how they can do it too.  And I’m going to create products people can buy that will put me into profit, but more importantly bless people.

Because I think you can bless people if you adopt the attitude that all human life is valuable.

And so far I’m making it.  Considering I’m a schizophrenic, just holding down an hourly job is an accomplishment, no matter how much I’m making.

Getting raises at that hourly job is even more of an accomplishment.

Now really my focus should be on HOLDING that hourly job and continuing to grow there. Because that is what is paying me right now.  That’s what I’m living off of.

But Lord is there room for improvement.

But even if I make no money at all off of my writing I still wouldn’t regret doing it.  I think it’s valuable and serves a purpose no matter what level of involvement in the economy I’m in with it.  But at the same time I’m highly optimistic.  I really believe I can make a million dollars writing, maybe I’m wrong.

But I don’t care and I’m not going to be reasonable on that.  I’m going to be UNREASONABLE and believe that I will make a million dollars and more off of my writing, songs, and network marketing. Doesn’t it make you want to get in and go for a ride?

Because writing for me is living my dream life.  You can escape to anywhere or anything you want with writing.  And your TAKING ACTION.  I say you can really go places with writing.  Definitely for me.  Definitely for us.

Plus you can get really good comments even if your not making any money off of it yet.  Like I’m getting.  They say nice things to me, and it makes you feel good that your brightening people’s days.  I love it.  I love my commentors.

And I can’t wait to get a few people on my list so that I can start loving and writing those people.  I think that’s a fun way to build a relationship.  Through email.

I am going to get this business off the ground and start selling a million copies of one or more than one of my ebooks.  I’m just going to write until I have that much value.  I’m going to write until I die or reach the masses.  Most likely though, I will just write and die, and not sell a million copies.

But you never know.  I’m keeping my options open.  I’m leaving myself open to the possibility of success, no matter how slim the chance.  That’s the way I think everyone should look at it.  Take the chance and do what you want to do.  It might work!

For me it must work.  I must free myself from the slavery of an hourly job and working for someone else.  But I’m not going to quit my job or anything.  Not until I’m making what I made in a year, in a month.  Once I’m at that spot, I can quit my job and find more effective ways to profit on my work from home.

I suppose there are a lot of ways you could make money online, but I think blogging is what I support the most.  I think it’s the gateway to all the abundance you could ever desire.  Is that valuable?  Does that make you want to write a blog?

I hope it does, and you can write about whatever you want, even if that’s video games.  I personally myself am not a gamer, I’m a reader and a guitar player.  But I know there are a lot of people that are gamers and I know it’s popular.

So if you can find a way to make money off of the games, go for it.  Maybe you can use some of the ideas on this blog to help you become more profitable.  Because that’s really my job.  That’s what I’m taking on.  EARNING PROFITS.

And slowly but surely I think I will get there.  It’s just gonna take blogging everyday, and eventually writing more ebooks.

But I do have one ebook that I think I could sell.  And the only way I think I can put it is that it’s “good shit”.

It’s shit, but it’s good shit.  It might even have the power to get you high.

Ever think about a reading high?

I get one when I think about all the things I could do to live the life of my dreams.

And when I’m talking about the life of my dreams I definitely am talking about taking a lot of vacations.  And living in a bigger house.

I figure I can have the home base and my family and I can travel the world, and then come back home.  I think that would be ideal.  That would be a masterpiece.

I would probably only need one or two million to get started.  Get the house and take the first vacation.

The dream life is really one that I’m living right now though.  And I think that’s valuable.  I’m writing my blog!  And this COULD turn into an income producing activity.

And I would probably write 10 books a year if I knew I could sell them for a profit.

I think this tells me I really just need to start on a new ebook, the next one I’m going to put up for sale after the one I’ve already finished and am having peer reviewed.

I can’t wait for the feedback.

I COULD site examples of bloggers that have made an impact and are PROFITING.  Intuition tells me that this can be done, and my counselor tells me that I have as good of a chance as anyone else would.

I say I have to work harder to overcome the voices, so I can just live and work.

But their not so bad.  I’ve never been restrained before, mostly because I don’t talk like a crazy person, but I’ve heard about other schizophrenics who have been.

It doesn’t seem like a pleasant experience.  That and being force fed medication.

I take my medication happily.  Antipyschotic.

The voices tell me I’m handsome or that I’m beautiful.  Sometimes I wish they were real people.  Other times when they tell me they want to kill me I would rather avoid that in a real person.

I’m sure at times my boss has wanted to kill me.  Or my wife.  Or my inlaws.  I’m sure this is the case for a lot of people.  Really though, I think overall everyone is pleased.  I’m succeeding at selling my product, and I’m suiting up and showing up.  I’m EARNING an income.  And for the most part it’s easy!

But it’s even easier to write, and I simply love to do it.

What’s the value here for you?  What’s the million dollar value?

Love what you do.  Even if your working for someone else.  It could really come in other ways and you could love what you do even more and make a masterpiece of a life.

And if you took what I wrote here and ran with it, and started blogging everyday for 90 days, nonstop, then you COULD make some money selling ebooks, and that COULD be worth a million dollars to you.

For me it doesn’t come fast enough so I just went out and bought a Powerball ticket.  I don’t know if it’s good news or bad news but when I folded the ticket and put it in my wallet, and then pulled it back out when I got home, the ticket was stuck together.  Some of the numbers stuck to the other side of the paper.  If I were to win I don’t even know if they could redeem the ticket!

It’s for 90 million dollars.  Plenty to retire my wife and I.  I would never have to work another holiday again?

What’s the value here?

What’s the million dollar value?

If you do play the lottery and you do keep a blog, you could write about playing the lottery on your blog.  That way if you won you could go public with your website at the press interview and your traffic would skyrocket!  The masses would read your work!  Wouldn’t that be lovely.

But people would also hate it, and I would have to deal with that.

I guess it’s give and take.  I’m ready for the responsibility.

Well, the powerball number is 17, and I think I have a 3 and a 7 in there as well as a 66.  We’ll find out tomorrow if I won the jackpot because I probably won’t stay up and check it tonight.

Then again, I might.  This would be the second time in a week I’ve stayed up to check the numbers the night of the drawing.

But the most I can lose tonight is 2 dollars so it’s not that bad.  But I’m optimistic, and I’m holding out hope that I’ll win.  That my sticky ticket is the jackpot winner.

And the way I see it is there is no other choice than for me to believe it is.

This could be the road to madness.

Or it could be the ticket to millions of dollars.

Only time will tell.

But really I don’t have to win the jackpot.  I still have this blog, and at minimum, even without ebook sales, I still have an hourly job.  So I’m working, but I’m also enjoying the weekend, and it could really lead to more money.  I’m working so that it does.  Time will tell what results I get.  I think they are going to be good all around.

But what if I win the jackpot tonight?

That means on Monday I put my two weeks in.  Not that I don’t like the job.  I just don’t want to work for anyone if I don’t have to.  I would go from the worker to the boss.  The one writing the checks.

And the voices entertain bad things that would happen to my marriage if I ever was a millionaire.  I fight those voices.  I love my wife, I love our family together.  I love what we do for each other.  I cherish her.  And that’s the way I’m going to be, or better, for the rest of my life.

And if I DO WIN THE JACKPOT tonight, I’m going to celebrate tomorrow and make sure I write about it on this blog.  Maybe people can learn from me and manifest their own lottery jackpot wins.  That’s my hope for the future, or one of them at least.

Here’s to you having a great day, I thank you for reading.  Take care.

Jesse Creel

Schizophrenia and Playing To Win The Lottery Jackpot

Today I woke up and checked the numbers for last night’s drawing.  They didn’t look familiar.  I didn’t win the jackpot.  But I was visualizing like crazy over the last three days and I thought that would increase my chances of winning.

I just read an article on visualization and winning the lottery.  You can find it here.

In the article it basically says there are other ways you can get money, if that’s what your after, and winning the jackpot doesn’t have to be the way that happens.  It doesn’t advise for or against visualizing to win the lottery, but it encourages you to leave your options open.  As for the schizophrenia effecting me, and what I’m hearing, well… that’s a different story.

You see, I haven’t had problems with the schizophrenia effecting my behavior for a while.  I’ve been holding a job for a year and a half and I’ve been growing with the company.  They’ve made me a Sales Coordinator, the only person in our chain of 3 stores to have that position, and they’ve made it clear they will reward me for positive performance.

But even with another raise, and bonuses, I’m still not making the kind of money I want to make.  That I want to EARN.  So over the last 3 days I’ve turned my visualizations to that of winning the lottery and despite the schizophrenia, I’ve been very successful at visualizing that I’ve won the jackpot.

But as my visualizations grew stronger, and as I began to believe that I could too win the jackpot like Cynthia Stafford, I started hearing more voices, louder and clearer.

The one voice that stood out, above all the others, was that of my father in law.  His voice has been a staple in my consciousness since the day I got married.  He told me, after one of my visualizations, as I was smoking a cigarette, that he didn’t want me to win.  The other voices chimed in and said my life would be a mess, that I was a mess and money would only make it worse.  I kept saying to my father in laws voice “No” and I kept saying to myself “I just have to visualize harder to make this happen.”

One a separate occasion, yesterday, the day before I found out that I didn’t win, I heard his voice say “I don’t want you to win”.  Clear as day and coming to me as if he was right in front of me.  Sometimes the voices come from the right or left, but this time it was straight ahead, seeming to come out from the neighborhood.

I told him, in my head, that “it’s not up to you” whether I win the jackpot or not.  His voice agreed.  His voice just doesn’t want me to win.  According to his voice he wants to live a “peaceful life” and me winning the jackpot would be excitement that his voice doesn’t want in his life.

In reality, I love everyone.  I love friends and enemies alike.  I love prospects that tell me no, and prospects that will take extra time out of their day to talk to me.  And I love my father in laws voice, even when he seems to be telling me things I don’t want to hear.

You see, I love the voices.  To me, that’s the only way to be.  They talk nicer to me when I love them, in fact right now, their saying “love”.  They say, where your attention goes, energy flows.  So for me, it may as well be flowing towards love.  Love is what I love and I want more of it in my life, now.

And I also want more money.

Don’t get me wrong, I love what I’m doing right now, even when I’m counting the hours down, wanting to hate it, I replace that by saying to myself “I love this, this is what I want to do.”  You might say that keeps me stuck doing something I really don’t want to be doing, but hey, you could argue that this is the best job I’ve ever had, and your not going to go without some days dragging on.

So I want to work my current job, even if I get rich somehow, and keep that stream of income coming in strong.  The job makes me feel like I’m being of service to society, something that not all schizophrenics can do, and I value that feeling.  But I still want more money, and I want it any way I can get it.  Either from working more, winning the lottery, blogging, or writing books, I have to earn more income.  So in all likelyhood, I’m going to keep visualizing my lottery win.

But I like the above mentioned article on visualization and winning the lottery.  One of the suggestions it makes is to instead of visualize winning the lottery, visualize having more money!  That money could come from more than just the one way of winning the lottery!  For me it could come from working, or writing.  So I think I’m going to take my number, my goal, of 100 million and just visualize that money being in my bank account.  It could come from anywhere so I won’t limit my visualizations to just winning the lottery.  I will visualize the app on my phone that displays my balances, and visualize a balance of 100,000,000.00 dollars.  I think that’s a better ticket than just visualizing to win the jackpot.

Now you may be asking yourself, what value can I get from all this.  And the value here is that even if you lose a jackpot, even if you fail for years, it’s not over, you can still manifest success.  You can do it at your job, and you can do it at home.  There are varying degrees of success, and I am living a low level of success right now.  I’m holding an hourly job!  There paying me more money!  I’m taking care of my family!  And I’m doing it all as a schizophrenic.  So if I’m a schizophrenic, hearing voices that tell me to die on a regular basis, and if that’s not annoying I don’t know what is, and I can do have success, even if it’s on a small scale, I know that you can have success too.  Wasn’t that a run on sentence that was still worth reading?

Because my grammar isn’t perfect but the meaning inside of my words is passionate.  It’s alive and real and you can feel it, can’t you?  Leave a comment and let me know what you feel as a result of reading this.

Where’s the value?

The value is that in spite of something like schizophrenia, which actively seeks to disassemble the fact that I AM ALIVE, you can have success.  At your job, at home, wherever you go!  My result so far is that I’m working an hourly job successfully and holding it down for over a year.  But I won’t settle for just that.  I won’t settle for 15,000 or 16,000 or 17,000 dollars a year.  I have to make more than that.  I have to reach for my goals.  I have to take massive action in the direction of my goals.  And if you take the lottery and put it aside, my goal is to EARN 15,000,000 dollars.  That’s what I’ve calculated will sustain me and my wife, and my children for the rest of our lives.  And if I made 100,000.00 dollars a month, like Pat at SmartPassiveIncome.com does I would be able to hit my goal in less than 15 years.  More than likely my niche will change from schizophrenia to making money online, as there is a bigger audience of very hungry people out there for that niche.  Although it’s competitive, others have broken through, and I believe I can do the same…. but dear God I do have massive action to take to get there.

But writing blog posts is a good start.  I also post all of my blog posts onto my twitter account each time I publish a new one.  I’m getting new followers all the time.  I must be doing something right.  My next step is to get Adsense going on this site, a step which is causing me trouble as I don’t know what the hold up is.

But another piece of value you can get from me right now, is that, from everything I’ve learned up to this point if you want to make money online, one way you can do it is to blog.  And the more you write the more traffic you will get.  So my advice to you entrepreneurs out there is to write your tail off.  Write everyday, post everyday, and share your posts on social media.  And write whatever you want, but be sure to include value in there.  If you want your readers to like or love what you’ve written there’s got to be a lot in there for them.  So write everyday, and write valuable things.  It got me a comment, and it can do the same for you.  And you can be sure that I’m going to tell you about my little successes along the way, when I’m writing these posts.  I want to deliver advice, valuable advice, in a proven way.  I am going to walk the walk, so to speak, and tell you about it when I write.

So if you want to know how a schizophrenic can work an hourly job and grow in that job, or if you want to know how to get a comment on one of your posts, I’m your man, because I’ve done both.  I’m walking that walk.  And there’s plenty more where that came from.  I’m highly optimistic about the future and it motivates me to work, to do more, and I am attempting to do more for people than anyone else does in my niche.  I want to inspire schizophrenics, empower them, and be the one that is the catalyst for them to take their lives to the next level.  Because a diagnosis is not the end of the world.  It’s just something you have to work harder to overcome.  Really, you could even look at it as a blessing because now you know what you have to do… you have to work harder, and harder to overcome this condition.  And you can do it!  I am proof that it can be done!  Go for it and don’t let anything stop you!  You are unstoppable!

Work hard, read books on self improvement, write a journal, reread your journal, set goals, and take massive actions that are going to bring you closer to those goals.  That’s what this schizophrenic says.  You’ll have good days and bad days, but rest assured that if your working on your dreams, most of the time, things are going to be looking up (as long as your attitude permits that).  And rest assured that there are plenty of other people out there working just like you, even competing with you (good or bad), and you have cohorts in your journey to making your dreams a reality.  The value here?  Dream big, and take massive action.  You can do it!  I, Jesse Creel, BELIEVE IN YOU.

But I want to thank you for reading this.  I appreciate you in ways beyond what words could express.  Please leave a comment and let me know what you think of this post.  Your valuable time will not go without gratitude.

Thanks again, With Love and wishing you much much success,

Jesse Creel

 

The Blog, My Connection To The World

And I can write whatever I want on this blog.

Mostly I want to tell you that I’m a working schizophrenic and I’m still grateful for everyday.  Grateful to God.

But I’m helping to support a family.  A wife and two kids.  I’m buying what I can at the grocery store.  And giving my wife money.  I gave her quite a bit for christmas time.

But then again, quiet a bit is not much for me.  I don’t get paid alot of money.  I’m a peon compared to my father and my father in law.  We live in a small townhouse not even big enough to have our friends over for a party.

We go to their parties though and we have a good time.  I’m very grateful to people who host parties because after all it is a alot of work.  Making all the food and everything.

But I’m writing to live a little more.  Leave something behind.  I guess I’m really just doing this for fun.  I’ll probably never be paid for it.  Although I do entertain the question of how I could make 500 million off a blog.  That would be Tony Robbins status.  That’s about how much he’s worth.  He is so awesome.

Highly recommend his stuff.  I just ordered a new book by Robbins titled Money, and the 7 steps to mastering it.  I know I would master money if I could stop smoking cigarettes and drinking wine.  That is indeed hard to do though.  I think it would be a lot better for me though.  I don’t really drink during the work week.  But when I have time off I tend to go to parties and drink some.  My wife usually drives.  I like to drink because it gives me something to do.  I think I could do better sober though.  I should really give it a try.  I just finished a box of wine last night… I have the day off today.  The box lasted a few days so that was good.  I didn’t drink it that fast.  But I don’t really want any more.  I want to go sober for a while and just get through this holiday at work.  Christmas time is coming fast and I have to get the hours while their good.  That means 14 hour days sometimes.  It’s not bad though.  They keep you moving but it’s good and I love it.  It’s the best thing that’s happened to me since I lost my job in 2010.  And half of the battle is just suiting up and showing up.  Speaking of which I have to wash my work uniform.  I got spagehetti sauce on it last night.  We had tortellini and they were good.

Tonight we’re having shrimp scampy, it’s one of those frozen bags with a meal inside it.  I got two.. They were only 5 dollars each.

But in my estimation I have about 90 dollars left to last me the next week and a half.  I probably have to put 40 in my gas tank so that would leave me with 50 dollars to buy food with to eat over the next week and a half.  That pretty much leaves me with what I have left of a pack of cigarettes. Because I just don’t have the money to smoke.

I’m sure I can help myself by instead of smoking working out and reading Tony Robbins books.  I really want to improve myself.

But I have what’s left of my day to wash my work clothes and go to the gym and make dinner and do more laundry and give to the house and my family by cleaning up around the house.  I want to do more of that and give my wife more money.  The jackpot is at 100 million.  I bought my ticket today.  Two tickets.  One of the tickets with the numbers I picked was entered in wrong by the cashier and I got a 9 instead of a 10… which was my son’s birthday number…  if I won that one that would really be something.  I also bought a quick pick.  I guy at the register wished me good luck as I collected my ticket and my cigarettes.

Once when I was at the leading seller of winners in the Baltimore area… I heard the voice of the cashier in my head and she told me to buy cigarettes.  I hear the voices tell me to smoke all the time, especially when I’m trying to quit.  But I will quit.  I have faith in myself.  It’s the right thing to do for my family.  And for everybody else.  And for my health.  Which really is what you need to do all this anyways.

But I’ll stay on my medication and go in to work everyday and make my money and do my work.  Just like Tony Robbins I wish that you make your life your masterpiece.  And I’m a success as a schizophrenic because I’m working there during the busiest time of the year.  The rest of the year is easy and not a whole lot goes on but during the holidays it gets crazy.  Busy.  And I like it because it’s easy for me to stay busy.  I can do it all day.  For 14 hours.  And it’s really not that hard of work.  I have to lift heavy boxes from time to time and sometimes it’s a massive amount of boxes.  And those days are good exercise.

Sometimes I get out of it though and other people are doing it and I’m out doing deliveries.

But  I really do want to wrap this up, although I could keep going.  I don’t know what will ever happen to these writings. I guess they’ll be up here as long as I’m alive.  Maybe I’ll be discovered and get a book deal.  And then all the signings at the stores for my book.  Promoting it.  Be like Tony Robbins.

But the jackpot is at 100 million and that’s one of my numbers.  I’ve played and missed it several times before but it’s here again and I have my tickets.  I hope I win but Tony Robbins also says that you can’t do it on hope alone. Something like that.  I think I may be going about this the wrong way.  All I know is I have to suit up and show up and do well at my job and give my family money.  Bring home the bacon.

And I could really bring it home on Thursday, which coincidentally is my day off… my second and last for this week.  And I’ll have the day off to settle in with the winnings and plan my next steps.  That’s what I would do if I won on Wednesday night.  I’d find out Thursday morning and I’d text my wife.  I write in all caps WE WON 100 MILLION DOLLARS and send it off to her.  That would be some shit. We already live in a 500,000 dollar house in my mind.  I want to start thinking of living in a 7 million dollar house.  You’d have to win one of those really big… billion dollar jackpots. In my mind we could live in that 7 million dollar house.

But I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.  It’s supposed to be a secret.  So I guess I’m pretty into you.  I like you.  I you to focus on what you want rather what you don’t want.  And do a good job.  Do well.  Spend less than you make.  save 10 percent of your income.  Give 10 percent away. Hard to do.  I keep spending the 10 percent I’m saving when I go through the rest of my money.  It’s all the cigarettes that’s really killing me. 9 dollars a pack everyday.  That’s alot of money for two weeks.  I don’t always smoke the whole pack in a day but sometimes I do.

Have a good day, or night and many blessings to you and your this holiday season and for the whole year.

Thank you for reading.

Jesse Creel Becomes A Lottery Jackpot Winner, Sells Honeybaked Ham Effectively and Makes A Better Life For Himself And His Family

That is the goal.  That is the desire.  That is the aim.

I haven’t yet won the jackpot, and I haven’t made any sales, yet, with Honeybaked but I’m in the process of doing both.

I won 3 dollars on the scratch off I bought yesterday.  I’m planning on buying more until I hit the jackpot and win the 10,000 dollars.  Then I plan on winning big with either the Mega Millions or the Powerball at the size of 397 million.

I bought 4 six packs over the last 3 days, and I have 4 beers left plus the half of one I’m drinking now.  When I drink the beer I sing, and I pray and I think and I visualize.  I visualize receiving the check for 397 million dollars.  I told God I was going to keep praying until my dreams manifest into reality.  I shouldn’t even be telling you this because it’s a secret, but I like to write and I like to be honest.

And you wouldn’t get the full picture of my life without telling you I plan on winning the jackpot.  In fact I have already won it, inside.  It’s only a matter of time before it manifests on the outside and when it does I’ll be writing to you from my 3 million dollar house, or from the beach of some paradise on my mac.

And I’ll be drinking.  And enjoying my time.  Because this is all we have, this one life.  Who knows what’s next, whether it be heaven or hell.  I’m probably going to hell, as Jesus said it’s harder for a rich man to get into heaven then it is for a camel to get through the eye of a needle.  So that’s that.  This one life and then it’s done.  I want to live fully and give of myself the best I can.  That’s what it’s all about for me really, is giving.

And it’s time to give to my family.  I already give them some money but I want and need to give more.  I must give more.  And my idea of giving more is to retire my wife, move us into a bigger house, and take a nice vacation.  Along with that I also am going to buy my wife a new wedding ring.  There will be some other things too, like Jet skis, and a music room or shed, but that will come in due time.  For now I focus on the task at hand which is to win 397 million dollars.  The jackpots are right around 100 million right now, so who knows whats going to happen.  This may be the time for me to win.  God willing it is.

And it makes me wonder if it’s a mistake writing all of this and putting it on the internet.  I’m telling the world my methods and I can’t wait to share that I’ve won the jackpot.  I’ve already won I tell myself.  It’s already golden.  I am a lottery jackpot winner.  My claim to fame, though I’m going to be anonymous.  I don’t want to deal with the media.

But I am extremely hopeful and expectant.  I’m honest and my honesty will reflect a jackpot win, that’s what I’m hoping for, and I think God will deliver.  I know he will deliver.  It’s what I need in my life and God provides.  That’s a fact.  It will be beautiful when I give my brother the check I have for him that’s a million dollars strong.  I will savor every moment of that time.  I really want to give to him because he still loves me even though I’ve fucked up so much, and cheated my friends out of my presence.  I guess the schizophrenia is partly to blame, but really it was just me, thinking the wrong things, and taking the wrong actions.  I’m tired of it, and I have changed.  And I want to change more.  I want to live and work and write, and play just the way I want to.  And I know that I can.  I know that I will.  I know that I’m going to win the jackpot.  Let it be so.

So thank you God, thank you Jesus for letting me win the jackpot and take home a giant check for 397 million dollars.  I know this to be true, I know that I will win.  It’s only a matter of time.  The windfall will happen.  We will move into a bigger house, I will write from that house and from the beach and let you know that I’ve succeeded and help you to succeed yourself.  Write to inspire you and to love you.  That’s the ticket.  The sizzle.  The sex.  The best.

But as for right now I’m breaking all the rules.  I’m drinking and I’m smoking, and I’m telling people all about my plans.  Your not supposed to use drugs or drink when your trying to manifest, and your supposed to keep your plans and your methods a secret.  I break both of those rules, and yet still I expect to win.  I am imagining now a time when I’m writing on this blog and I’ve won the lottery.  I’m going to write for the people that want to win too.  To inspire them and to raise their hope.  That they can do it too.  And I bet that some of them will.  The ones who really want it.  Like a drowning man wants air.  And they’ll have it too.  I know they can win, if I can do it, anyone can do it.

But my wife came down on me for smoking pot and I respect her so I’m not buying it anymore.  Not that I can afford it anyways.  Not on what I’m making now and not before I win the jackpot.  So I’m smoking resin right now out of my bowl, and there’s only so much of that in there, so I’m pretty much quitting the mary jane.

Still smoking cigarettes and drinking though.  I don’t think I’ll ever quit that.  My grandfather loves drinking a few beers and he loves God too.  He’s almost 80.  If he makes it that far we’re going to throw him a big party.  To 80 years.  Hopefully I hit the jackpot before that party so I can really make a contribution to it.  And my grandfather also wants to go to Mardi Gras one time with the whole family.  That would be outrageous fun.  All the drinking and all the tits.  Nudity welcome.  My daughter would fit right in, she’s always taking her clothes off.  She’s only 4 so she’s allowed at this point, but who knows what the future will hold for her.  All I know is that I’m going to hit the jackpot for 397 million and the numbers that are going to be the winners are going to be my families birthday numbers.  Go ahead and play them, I’ll split the jackpot with you.  It doesn’t matter to me how much I win, just that I win the jackpot.

But I’d rather have the whole thing.  There’s always another jackpot for you.  I really think I can do this, I really think that I can win the jackpot.  And I think I can do it exactly the way I am right now.  Smoking res, drinking Samuel Adams, and smoking American Spirits.

But the 397, with my numbers written out on it is right there where I can see it every time I go to get my car keys.  It’s a constant reminder that I’m in it to win it and I just won’t accept it any other way.  I must have the jackpot.  I must have the jackpot win.  I must have it created the way I see fit.  397, my families numbers.  That’s the way I see it going down.

And time will tell if I’m right.  I’m now glad I’m writing all this down so I have a way to capture it in time.  My blog is dated, and it’s mine, I own it…. and I can refer back to it whenever I want to.

But all of this really is probably just material for a comedian to make fun of.  I haven’t won, I’m putting it out there that I have, and I’m writing as if I have over 100 million dollars in my bank account.

I hear voices, they talk to me everyday.  They tell me things like commanding me to die.  I refuse.  Sometimes part of me wants to die, but I refuse that part of me as well.  The voices tell me I’m going to live forever, and I know that I’m not.  I have this stay here, and after this that’s all.  So why not design the life that I want to live.  One where I’m wealthy and have provided for my wife and two children.  One where I make art as my full time job, and get damn good at it.  Music and everything.  Just without the pot.

I used to call pot, cigarettes, and alcohol the holy trinity.  To get you through life.  Because it just damn sucks.  Got a average sized dick.  What are you going to do with that?  Be average…. who wants that?  I want to be outstanding.  I want to triumph.  I want to be amazing.  I want to live fully and give fully.  I want to embrace love and live with it.  I feel moved by it.

But I was writing a book.  I decided it was too personal to publish and that I wasn’t going to pursue publishing.  Really I’m in a different place now then I was when I first starting writing it.  I was struggling just trying to work part time.  The schizophrenia had me wrapped around it’s finger.  It would tell me to call out of work, and I would!  Against my better judgement.

But I’ve hated alot of the jobs I’ve had ever since I’ve really failed in sales.  I spent 5 years in sales and network marketing.  I didn’t do well at all. I never recruited one person to join my network marketing company.  Then when I wanted to start it back up a few months ago, my counselor talked me out of it.  He told me that I would feel guilty if I was very successful like I wanted to be.  That I would be putting people into debt and hard times and that would be the case the majority of the time.  Rarely would I recruit someone into the business and they would be successful at it.  Like the position I’m in.

I was convinced and determined to sell it though.  And I had some killer videos.  Just me talking, me selling.  The best shit there ever was and ever will be.  That was me.  Just didn’t have the people to see it for a long enough period of time.  It’s costs money to be in those things and you have to pay it every month.  I was paying 125 dollars a  month and I just couldn’t afford it anymore.  I even had dreams of the boss coming and pulling the cord on my television set.

So really I’ve just had to come to terms with the fact that I have to work a low paying hourly job to make anything of myself.  There’s still room to grow where I work, I just got a raise, but I don’t make much working at a franchise restaurant.  Especially when I only work part time.  But all things considered I’m doing phenomenal.  I’m holding a job, I’m going into work everyday, and I’m giving my family money.  I have problems like the 14,000 dollars I owe on my credit card… but that could be solved in a night.  I just have to pay it down the best that I can now, and win the jackpot.  Survive and win.

I love you.  I just want you to know that.  I know that if you’ve read this, this far then your a champion.  Your a finisher.  You start what you finish.  You are awesome.  I love you.  I love God too, and my family, and alcohol, and cigarettes, and money, and the lottery, and I am a love bug.  I love everything.  Everything has it’s place.  Some things are sad and tragic, but that’s fucked up and it’s all the same anyways.  Life goes on.  You could even love those sad and tragic things because you know they have a part in things too.  Like death.  It’s a part of life.

They say the only thing that’s sure is death and taxes.  I’d like to add one to that list.  That’s winning the jackpot for 397 million playing my families numbers.  I would love that, that would be the ultimate.  I know it can happen.  I’m making it happen right now.  If anyone ever reads this they’ll think I’m a complete nut.  That is until I win, then they’ll think I’m a miracle maker.

That’s all for now.  I love you… here’s one to growth.

The Art of Letting Go Of Desire

I want to win the Mega Millions or the Powerball.  I think that I’m going to.  But the Tao instructs us to let go of the desire and then one can see clearly.  But I still want it.  I want the millions of dollars it will bring.  And I think that you can have it too.  Do you play the lottery?  Do you want to win?

All the books I’ve read on the subject come down to one thing Jesus said.  Believe you have already received what you ask for in prayer, and ye shall have it.  So our job is to believe we have already received the jackpot win we desire.  It is our birthright and some of us will get it.  Some of us will receive the jackpot.  Make up your mind to be one of them and see what God gives you.

I would walk around my neighborhood, about 2 and a half miles, and repeat to myself over and over again “I believe I have already received the jackpot”.  Interesting things happened to me.  The voices I hear started to respond to my affirmation.  They told me I was a winner.  They told me this was for real.  They told me that it was my time.

Well, I haven’t won yet, but as they say, God’s delays are not God’s denials.  I am a winner and my job now is to go out there and win.

I think the Tao would instruct me to play without playing, win without trying, and to desire without desire.

The question before us is how do we win the lottery jackpot?

The answer is to believe we have already received the jackpot.  And how do we do that?  Pray.

Visualize.

I am now visualizing a check for 394 million dollars being given to me by a nice person at the Maryland Lottery office in Baltimore. I’m visualizing accepting the check as anonymous.  I’m bringing it home with me and setting it upstairs in the dinning room against the wall where I can see it when I’m sitting on the couch.  I’m going to be able to live the rest of my life off that money and I’m blessed.  I thank God and the Universe for bringing it to me.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

I am visualizing that my numbers, 3,19,8,20,7 and 10 are the winners for the jackpot worth 394 million.  That’s my plan.  To play on that jackpot, those numbers and see if I win.  That may be unlikely but I trust God to deliver to me the means to move my family into the bigger house that they deserve.  And to get my wife a new wedding ring, and to take a nice vacation with both sides of my family, and to pay off my credit card, and to pay off the mortgage on the house I live in now.  And to buy a new car.  And to give to the church and to charity.  I have many plans for the money but they are simple ones.  Eat, drink and be merry.  Work on creating art.  Establish relationships with people that are mutually beneficial. Have more sex with my wife.  (I have to get fixed so we don’t have any more kids… two is enough)

But it will be beautiful if I ever get into the position where I can write on this blog from the beaches of the world.  Having nice frozen rum drinks and sit on the beach and type about my day.  Create art.  And I’ll probably get some recordings back on this site because really I won’t give a shit about my image in front of business owners because it won’t matter if I make any sales or not. The sales I do make I’m sure would stick.  They would know and like me.  And want to do business with me because I make great art.  I’m going to keep on doing stuff until my time on this earth is up.  And I plan on being here a while so I’m going to have plenty of time on my hands to work.

And work I will.  On this blog, on my music, on my job, on my sales, on my life through reading and exercise, and with my family.  I will work on winning the jackpot for my daughter so we can move into that house we need.  I will do whatever it takes for my family to live their dream life.  Retired and enjoying life.

So what’s my dream life?  To win the lottery, buy a house, take a vacation, play blues guitar in a dedicated garage or shed, write on my blog, raise my family, and enjoy life.  Makes sales and work my job… and grow in all things that I do.  I have to quit smoking so I have more money until I hit the lottery… but I will be able to buy as much alcohol and as many cigarettes as I want after I hit the lottery.  I’d say the secret to long life is to love yourself.

But I haven’t lived long yet so I guess I don’t have room to talk, yet.

But I started this post with the Art of letting go and I still haven’t let go of the desire to possess the winning ticket, the giant check and a massive bank account.  I still desire those things, and I want them like a drowning man wants air.  I guess the art of letting go just isn’t for me.  Or maybe it is.  I suppose only time will tell.  Time will tell if I win the jackpot or not.  So far it doesn’t look good but God may surprise me and deliver the win any day now.  I trust in God and I know my every need and desire will be fulfilled.  Except for the desire to have sex with women other than my wife.  I just have to deal with that one.  For my wife, and because she deserves someone that will be faithful to her.

So I want to win the jackpot and I want to make as many sales as humanly possible in both Honeybaked and Flashbanc.  But that is not the point of our business relationship.  The point of our business relationship is to add value to your life by saving you money on your credit card processing.  Or by providing you with the best ham and turkey in the world.

So now my kids are sleeping.  It’s 8pm on this Monday and I have two hours before bed.  I already have done my reading for the day so I’m good there.  Really the only thing left for me to do is write.  So write I will, and leave words behind me.  A legacy.  I love my family.  Those are my words.

I’m looking forward to my next payday which will come in less than two weeks.  Before you know it, it will be Thanksgiving and I’ll have all the hours I can handle.  Then Christmas.  My check for Thanksgiving will probably go to Christmas gifts.  It should be a good Christmas.  I got a raise!  That should go into effect on this next check.  If it doesn’t I’ll be disappointed.  But I’m sure it will.  And everything will be fine as long as I stop smoking.  Which is going to be hard.  I have to stop after this pack of cigarettes, unless I start having a good two weeks with the cash I get from Honeybaked for driving deliveries.

Because I can still smoke if I have the money for it.  I just have to learn not to smoke when I don’t have the money to.  No more cigarettes on a credit card.  That is my vow.  No more wine on a credit card.  That is my vow.  I’ll have all the time I need to create my art..  To write on this blog.  To make music.  To sell.  I won’t be drinking or smoking and I’ll need something to do.  And no more weed on a credit card.

I’ll be clean and sober and nothing to get in trouble for.  No trouble with the law and no trouble with the wife.  Doing what I’m supposed to be doing, which is working.  Working at my job, working when I get home on the housework, working on my blog and my sales career.  Working on winning the lottery.  Working on raising my family and being a good role model.  And I can do all of these things and do them well.  I just know that I can do them well.  I’m looking forward to getting up for work tomorrow.  I probably won’t feel like doing it in the moment but I want to do it now and get to work and make some money.  Work for my family.

I paid my wife 100 dollars out of my savings account because I thought she deserved some money.  I haven’t been giving to her as much as I should.  She pays all the bills, the mortgage, the electricity, the insurance, the phones, etc…  She buys the food and the clothes for the kids.  We get alot of help from our parents with the kids but my wife does most of the supporting in our household.  She really does a great job.  The lights are always on and we always have something to eat.  I love her and she has really earned my respect.  She is the boss and what she tells me to do I do.  She doesn’t ask that much either.  She can be course at times, but mostly it’s because I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing, like housework.  When the house is a mess she usually is irritated.  But I love her, even when she is mad at me.

And I want to retire her.  I want to be the one that allows her to stay home with the kids and raise our family.  I’ll be there too to help her, but I want her home… or able to be at home so she can be there for our kids.  That’s where winning the lottery comes into play.  I’m not sure how I could retire her even if I did become successful selling.  I would have to sell alot of ham and turkey to retire her…  I just don’t see it happening that way.  And I don’t see it happening with my music or I wouldn’t have taken all my recordings down.  And I don’t see it happening with my writing because the book I’m working on now is too personal to be published.  So it’s not music, it’s not sales, it’s not writing…. it’s the lottery!  That’s our ticket to success.  Otherwise I’m a starving salesperson and a low wage part time worker.  And I don’t want to be that anymore.  I’ll still work part time, that I can do.  But I’ll be rich.  I’ll be wealthy while doing it.  It will make it that much easier.  And I’ll still be bringing in some money.  And think what kind of car I will be driving to do the deliveries in.

I’ll probably choose something economical and not flashy for the deliveries. I might even just keep the Nissian I’m driving now and just get it tuned up.  And cleaned out.  Right now there’s a bunch of trash on the floor.  I really need to clean that thing.

But anyways, I go in tomorrow at 10am.  I work until 4.  I have my psychiatrist right after work.  It’s usually a short meeting.  She just gives me my refills and sends me on my way.  I have to schedule a meeting with my therapist when I go tomorrow.  I forgot to show up for my last appointment.  I got too busy with my family and forgot.  We went to the mall instead.  It was probably the best excuse for missing therapy that I can think of.  Spending time at the play place at the mall with the kids.  It was very busy there when we went last Saturday.  A good time.

But to wrap it up, I think I may let go of the dream of winning the lottery but I don’t think I will ever give up.  I think there is a difference there.  Letting go may bring me closer into alignment with bringing it into my reality.  But the envelope is still there, on the cupboard in my pineapple with my spare change.  The numbers 397 are still written on it.  I still have the plan to win the jackpot.  I’m still expecting to win the jackpot.  I still believe I have already received the jackpot.  I still believe I am a winner.  I still believe that God will deliver my every desire, including phenomenal sex with my wife, something that I haven’t been getting much of as of late.  All that can change with just the printout of a ticket.  A printout of the winner, and let it be the winner even before the balls drop.  And it is.  It is a winner even before the ball drops.  I know this because I am me and this is what I have created.  Mindblowing and this will get me all the attention I need to sell anything I want.  Or just give it away just to start a conversation.  And a conversation that will add value to people’s lives.  I say stick in there, keep going, and make yourself better along the way.  God will take care of you.  That’s a fact.

 

A Story About A Schizophrenic Who Became Successful

This is a story about a schizophrenic who became successful.

I was in sales for 5 years.  I went from job to job eating the pavement all the way along.  I did make some money selling credit card processing machines but that was sketchy and the company I was working for I don’t think was that ethical.

But now for the story about a schizophrenic who became successful.

I work now at Honey Ham.  I am a delivery driver and a kitchen helper.  I tried glazing with a torch and the ham and the sugar but I wasn’t any good at it so they have me doing other things.  So I’m not a total success but I’m working on becoming more than I am right now and that’s a story about a schizophrenic who became successful.

A story about a schizophrenic who became successful starts at home.  I have a lovely wife and 2 kids and they help motivate me when I don’t feel like doing anything.  I’m lucky to have them and I know it and the story about a schizophrenic who became successful I think starts with them.

I have a great support system with my family and I love them for helping me the way they do.  I would love them even if they didn’t help me but they do and I am forever grateful to them for their service to me.

But this is a story about a schizophrenic who became successful.  And I am a success.  I am working about 30 hours a week and I am happy to have those hours.  And I am successful in working those hours.  I get sick often because I am a smoker and don’t take that great of care of myself and they hate it when I call out, my brother especially but I am usually at work.

My story, or the story about a schizophrenic who became successful is the story of a man who wants to provide for his family by paying off his credit card to a zero balance and then using the extra money he was paying off his credit card with and help with the bills around the house.  It’s embarrassing but my wife pays all the bills.  She pays the mortgage, the phone bills, the car insurance, the water bill, the electricity bill.  She makes ok money as a teacher, but she makes a hell of a lot more than me.  I wanted to get a phone job for 15 dollars an hour but they wouldn’t hire me I think because I told them I was hospitalized at the last call center job I had.  That’s what  my counselor told me to tell them so that’s what I said, but I didn’t get the job.  They love me at Honey Ham though and I have a good thing going and that’s a story about the schizophrenic who became successful.

A story about a schizophrenic who became successful would not be complete until they got rich.  Because they wanted to get rich, for themselves and their families.  So this is an incomplete story.  I am not rich yet.  I hope to be.  I hope this blog, or the lottery, or a donation, or a check of any kind sets me free.  I would only need 100 million and I’d be fine.  A billionaire could do that.  and I hope they do.  Or I hope I win the lottery.  I would still keep this blog but I wouldn’t have to do this SEO bullshit that always has me writing a story about a schizophrenic who became successful.

I hear the voices say somethings I couldn’t understand and the voices say the word hate.  I live with this.  A story about a schizophrenic who became successful would also not be complete without some adversity.  Yes! the voices say.  Drink the voices say.  I’m having a glass of wine and I just finished it and I’m think about pouring another.  Do the voices say.  I also have a cigarette that’s waiting to be smoked sitting on the computer desk.  I have my challenges in a story about a schizophrenic who became successful but I am holding a job so that’s a serious accomplishment.

But anyways, back to a story about a schizophrenic who became successful.  I am successful.  I have cultivated an energy of wealth within myself.  I know I will receive 100 million dollars, one way or the other.  I shouldn’t even be telling you this because your supposed to keep your manifestations a secret until they happen but I just have to think, speak and act as if it’s already happened.  I give 10 % to God.

The word count on that last paragraph was 777 so I must be doing something right.

I love you the voices say, they are helpful sometimes.  The only time they are not helpful is when I’m smoking too much or drinking too much wine.

But this is a story about a schizophrenic who became successful.  It’s not the time to talk about how I’m quitting my vices.  Now is the time to talk about how I am successful in working a job.  It took a while and I had to go through some jobs.  But I found one that loves me and at work I see the number 777 all the time too.  I think the place is lucky.  The storage units number is 7F.  Everything there works around 7’s.  I was late one day and my manager called me and I told them I was 7 minutes away.  I think I’ll win the lottery there.  The time is now.

I’m going to buy a ticket.

I love you, more peace and love into the universe now.

Thank You,

Jesse Creel

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