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Living And Working And Kicking Ass With Schizophrenia

Yes, that’s what I’m doing… I’m kicking ass.

I’m a schizophrenic and I’m holding a job, and I have been for the last 2 years.  I’ve even been promoted several times and now hold a sales job for 3 of the 5 days a week I work.

Not to mention my job, I also am kicking ass at visualizing, running this blog, creating rock and rolls songs, taking care of my family, and being an overall respectable member of the community.

All this with the schizophrenia wishing I would die.

I won’t die.  I’m going to live to 100.  I’m only 33, so I’ve got a long ways to go.

In that time I plan on becoming rich and famous, living in a better house with a free schedule, and creating a rock and roll band.

If this so far interests you I highly recommend signing up for my email list.  You’ll get updates to see how I’m doing as time goes on.

What I’ve discovered though, is that helping schizophrenics work is a charity cause.  I want to create income.  I don’t think it’s going to happen leading schizophrenics to work a job.  I need something else.  A new business idea.

So it’s writing for fun at this point.

I just ordered Mike Dooley’s new book “Playing the Matrix”.  I pre-ordered it so it doesn’t come out until October 31st, 2017.  I’m looking forward to reading it though because I really enjoy his “Notes From The Universe“.  By the way, I don’t get anything from putting that website link on my site.  It’s just because I believe in it and want to share it.

What Mike Dooley says in his notes from the universe is that you have to suit up and show up.  That’s why I’m writing this post today.  In order to suit up and show up, with my blog.  This blog is in my heart and it’s a part of who I am, so I want to keep writing it, no matter what happens, as a possible avenue to riches and freedom.

I’ve started a vision board.  The first thing I put on it was how much money I wanted to make per year.  First I went for $100,000 and then didn’t think that was thinking big enough so then I put $15,000,000 on there and thought that was thinking too big and I should take the wealth in stepping stones so finally I decided on $200,000.  That’s whats there now, and we’ll see how it works out.

As I’m visualizing I can see the board and it helps me concentrate.  I do find it helpful.

Mike Dooley also says you should manifest in general terms and not worry about the “cursed how’s”.  So my vision board is all set on end results… a lot of cash, a new house….and there’s more to come.  I haven’t even started.

Suffice to say I’m working as hard as I possibly can to create what I want in my life.  I am doing everything I can, everyday, to bring myself closer to my goals.  It IS working, one day at a time.  Just last month I got my first internet subscriber to my email list.  I had been working for almost 2 years just to get one subscriber, but I finally got him, and now he’s on my list.  I’m really looking forward to having many many many many more subscribers and starting a business somehow with my email list.

But don’t let that stop you from subscribing, because my email list is my treasured gold that I treat to the best of what I have to offer.  If you are indeed a fan, then you absolutely have a place on my email list.

Don’t shame me for selling the list either.  It in all likelihood will be a positive experience for both you and me.  If you don’t like it you can always unsubscribe for free and it will be like it never happened.  So really you have nothing to lose.

You can subscribe here.

Yes, oh yes, I am kicking ass.  I’m doing it the best I know how and it’s successfully paying me every two weeks, and resulting in traffic and subscribers.  Although I only have 1 internet subscriber, I have asked several friends to subscribe and a few of the have, and confirmed their subscription.  The beauty is in the numbers.

Right now I have 4 subscribers, including myself.  I figure if a president votes for himself on election day, I had better be on my own list.  From what I hear, the presidents, before they are presidents, do indeed vote for themselves.

I know that’s not a lot of subscribers but Mike Dooley only started out with 30 some, and now he has over 750,000.  If he says the trick is to suit up and show up, then I’m going to do it with things I love, like blues guitar, and blogging, and writing books, and reading, and walking, and the list really does go on and on and on and on.

The point:  This is coming to you for a reason.  It’s because I, Jesse Creel, must do it.  I have a vision and I have goals.  Part of making that happen is showing up in life.  So that’s what I’m doing.  That’s also what I recommend you do in your own life.

Do the job you hate, even if you hate it, for as long as you have to until your passions set you free from that work.  You will live to see this through.  You will live to be a millionaire.  You will live to live in your dream house.  You will see your family grow up.  You will be everything your heart desires you to be, and it will be better than you could possibly imagine.  I just know this in my heart.

Nothing can stop you.  You won’t be held back by negativity.  You are your own champion.  You can do this.  Suit up and show up and reap the rewards.  It may come slowly and imperceptibly at first, but it will come and you, if you pay attention, will be overjoyed at your results even when at first they are not paying you.

 

Getting Paid, And Knowing Your Going To Get The Sale

That’s the beauty of an hourly sales job.  They pay you by the hour, whether you sell or not, and you do the work.  Sure it may not pay as much as a commission sales job, but that’s also harder to do.

When the company has invested in you, the sale comes naturally.  You find your people.  They will talk to you.  They will have you a little longer than most of the people you talk to.  You find them a few times, maybe if your lucky 4, throughout the day.  I try to make their day a little better.  Sometimes it’s like it’s working.

All I know is that I haven’t even been working there 2 years and I’m already doing what the owner was doing.  Food presentations.  Lunch and learns.

And I really think I gave a great presentation at my last meeting.  It was with a dozen people and I did 5 minutes.  I almost want to do longer.  Really get my presentation skills up there with the best of them.  I made my audience laugh a couple of times, and at one point I had to stop to answer a question from the audience.

She wanted to know if her sandwich came on lettuce instead of bread, to which she found the answer was yes.  She didn’t eat bread.  She’s a special customer and we cater to her.  God help the people who work there when the special orders come in.

It really is work fulfilling orders.  There’s a lot that goes on with it that the customer might not be thinking of.  If I had a longer presentation i would fill them in on things.  Things like the torch.

The torch is used to glaze the hams and turkeys, and the people, when they are using the torches  are really sweating.  That’s work.  I did it for a little while, but I really wasn’t any good at it, and I got a terrible blister on my left hand from holding the torch.  They found other things for me to do, but they use those things in our stores… it’s amazing what they do to the meat!  Fire and sugar and spice, down into the meat.  Makes for a great flavor.  It’s special to me and it’s what I’m selling.  It’s a good product.

People love it.  They will stand in line for it for an hour over the holidays.  Three times a year, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, it’s all hands on deck.  They stand in line, and we work, and they get their hams, and we get their company, and their money.  It’s a fine place if you like ham or turkey, or even vegetarian if you eat that way.  We do it all.

So if you ever need ham, I’m your man.

Especially if your reading this from Baltimore, MD, I love you.  Just reach out to me on the contact page, and maybe we could set up a deal.

Because that’s really what I’ve been doing, is working on becoming a great sales success…

That’s not to say this thing with the lottery is over.  Really it’s only just begun.  I won $50 yesterday, and $1 today.  I did not win the Mega Millions jackpot, even though after I won $50 on the scratch off, I bought 2 tickets for the Mega Millions.

The point is I must have spent over 5 years visualizing for the lottery win, and having dreams about it happening, and did not win the jackpot.

I just thought that the time I could spend visualizing winning the lottery I spend on making my job work.  What’s the worst that could happen if I did that?  It’s either going to work out, or it’s not.  The visualizing isn’t going to hurt anything.  Or will it?

Should I just leave it alone and try not to think about it?  Should I occupy my time with doing housework or reading?  The answer to these questions must come from within me.  I say onward, and lifeward.  If that means visualizing yourself getting a big deal, even though it makes your symptoms worse, keep visualizing getting a big deal.  When you get it, it might even come as a surprise you’ve waited so long for it to come.

And it will come.  You’ve done the work.  You wear the sales uniform.  They have your phone number.  All it is is dropping the information off with the secretary.  I don’t actually talk to the people in charge of doing the fundraising.  It would be good if I could meet those people right there when I’m giving out the information.  They however are not in, so I have to work with the secretary.  They usually like me to just say hello, drop off the information and leave.  I don’t stay very long, unless they let me.

What I should say to them is I’ll give them $100 if they don’t buy what I’m about to sell them.  I heard that on a Tim Ferriss podcast.  There was a guy who sold credit card processing on transparency, and service and outsold everyone else in the company.  That’s what he would say to them when he walked in the door, he said he would always have their attention.

I don’t know if I would say that to someone in a school, which is what I’m focusing on this month of August 2017.   But that might be a good line for a business person.

The point is, I don’t visualize for the lottery, I visualize for great sales success.  What it looks like so far is reading and journaling.  And I want to get this work done for my family.  I have a son, and a daughter.  I have reasons to work.  Not to say you can’t have reasons to work if you don’t have kids.  I’m saying that having kids can’t hurt your reasons to work.

Those are my sentiments for this day, I hope that your days are great, and that you have many more ahead of you,

Jesse Creel

Awarded At The Company Picnic As Outstanding Associate Of 2016

Today, July 30th, 2017, was the day of our company picnic.

There were games, face painting, toys, food, soda, water, and the good people of my company.  I brought my family.  It was after all a family affair.  Workers and their families all gathered at the state park, and enjoyed an afternoon together.

At the beginning of the party, there were awards given out to all the stores, and to individuals.  All of the managers received an award, for what is outstanding about them, and a few of the associates also received awards.  I was one of those few associates who was recognized.

In the beginning of the awards I received a notable mention for my sales work, and it was said that I really busted my rear end out there doing the work.  Then all of the stores got their awards, and then they did the individual awards.  I got one of them!

She said a brief thing about me, that I worked hard and was the best associate of the year, and then they gave me the award.  When I came up and accepted it, the president of the company said that I shouldn’t act like I didn’t deserve it.  I smiled for the picture.

I got this award to commemorate my service to the company in 2016.

Proof Of Success

My award honoring me for my work at the company.

It made me feel good that I was one of the few people honored at the awards.  I know that a lot of people put a lot of sweat and tears into the place, and I know that I won’t go around bragging about how I got an award, as anyone working at my company should get an award.

I just wanted to share this with you to further cement my authority as a success, and so that I have credibility when it comes time for me to advise you on how you can improve your work life.

I’ll leave you with one tip I can give you that might earn you an award:

Suit up and show up.

The rest is hard smart work, loving your customers, working in harmony with your coworkers, among other things that I could go on and on about.

Just wanted to let you know that I’m continuing to have success, and I’m being recognized for it.

Here’s to success of Your own,

Jesse Creel

A Tip If Your Schizophrenic And Love Personal Development

That tip is simple.

Put What The Voices Say Into Your Own Words

I’ve been experimenting with this for a while, and it just came to light that I should put it down into words, so that other people might benefit from it as well.

As a schizophrenic myself, I know what it’s like to live daily with voices in your head.  I’ve been dealing with it for years.  It was so mild at first that I simply thought I was gifted and in tune with the universe.  When things went badly and then got worse and worse, until finally I had to admit to a doctor that I heard voices, I was diagnosed and received treatment.

Over the course of the last 7 years I’ve been through a whirlwind.  I finally, over the course of the last 2 years been able to stabilize my work situation.  I would say that my success is attributed to God above all else, but that therapy and medication have also leveled me out a good deal.  I don’t know that I could have done what I have done without the aide of doctors and therapists.

What I have done is to realize that work is just a part of life, and that I shouldn’t invest all of my energy in playing the lottery.  When I left the job I was diagnosed as a schizophrenic at, I prayed I would finally win the jackpot, and I wouldn’t have to worry about trying to work when I was hearing all these voices telling me they wanted me to die.  Whether it be of Cancer, or murder.  Once I realized that work was just a part of life, that I could go on playing the lottery but it would be even better if I liked my job, then I was not seeking, but was given an opportunity at a new job where I would get more hours.

The truth of the matter was I didn’t want to work.  I hated work.  I dreaded the day, everyday, would sleep as much as possible (I thought that was the best part of my day) and would do nothing with my time but listen to the voices.  That was at one of my lowest points.  At this point in time I’ve been holding a job for almost two years, and I like it, and they keep promoting me.  I’ve even been made a salesman-the only one in the company- and I sell for 3 different stores.

One of the tricks I’ve developed is to make what the voices say my own when I’m explaining it to myself or someone else.  When it’s just a bunch of emotional blabber I don’t think much about it.  When they tell me I’m a loser, I replace what they say with my own idea of myself (that I’m a winner) and visualize what that looks like.  It happens all throughout the day.  The truth is I’m really only mildly schizophrenic, the voices don’t consume my existence.  Sometimes, at points in the day I may go a while without even hearing any voices at all but I still do hear some hallucination everyday, without fail.  When the voices get deep, soul-less, and scary, that’s when I know that I have a condition, and that I’m not imagining I’m a schizophrenic.  I really am a schizophrenic.  No one else hears these things.  Although the voices would have me believe that other people CAN hear what’s going on in my head and the freaky part of it is that sometimes other people’s body language confirms that idea.

Maybe it’s just my own feelings influencing what other people are experiencing, and that would explain the body language.  They can’t hear what’s going on in my head, even though it might seem like they can.  I find that on my sales work, when I talk to people, they really have no clue whats going on in my head, they are just happy to serve.

The point of this post was to get you to think about what the voices are telling you, and how you can put your own spin on it, and make it positive.  If they are telling you to kill yourself, well maybe that should lead you to question whether or not your living your life in balance.  Maybe you need to make some changes in your behavior that’s going to support a healthier life.  If your in the personal development niche like me, your going to want to make positive changes in your life, and your going to want to be a little better today than you were yesterday.  So maybe your voices can help you to improve your life?

Whatever they tell you, make sure you make the story your own.  Put your own take on what the voices are telling you and shed some light on it.  In this way you can take control of your mind and feed it positive messages that will help you to persevere and create the life you want to live.  Personal development (i.e. reading self improvement books, and journaling) will help you to put that positive direction on what the voices are telling you and really, will help you to become unstoppable in everything you do.  Because we are positive people, we are going to have a positive effect on the world.

I just wanted to take the time today to write this and let you know how I have managed to cope and prosper with hearing voices everyday.  I hope that my work serves you to help you better cope and prosper in your own life.

Here’s To Your Success,

Jesse Creel

Work Produces Income, Therefore I Speak About Work

This post will be about the last two days I was at work in the store.  I wasn’t performing sales operations.  I did what needed to be done for the company.  This post is simply to inspire you to know schizophrenics can work.  Although I’m not like schizophrenics you may see on YouTube, I do hear voices everyday, and they tell me anything from the bad to the good.  I influence what their talking about with my thoughts and actions.  I’ve learned to cope with the voices that tell me to die, and am making some changes in my life that I think will really benefit me in the future.  I think we as workers in the USA or anywhere need to take a minute to acknowledge that by working we ARE really heros.  We are supporting our families, contributing to society, and if your anything like me, giving to help the less fortunate.  That’s part of the reason I keep this blog, and that purpose is to serve schizophrenics valuable knowledge they can take action on.  If you like what you read, consider subscribing to my email list, you’ll even get a free ebook.

Day 1 Speaking About Work

They had me take the day off sales calls because the company truck needed to be picked up.  It had just been worked on to fix the refrigeration in the back and something to do with a brake line.  We tried to pick the truck up earlier in the week but it wasn’t ready yet, the part hadn’t come in.

First thing in the morning I go with a coworker, him driving, to the truck yard.  We talked about him getting a better paying job, and a new opportunity he had to do something exciting.  I talked about my blog, and shared with him what I was doing online.  We talked about learning finances even when we didn’t have the money to invest.  It doesn’t go without saying that I write for schizophrenics, so when I told him I had a book called “Schizophrenic Sales Success” I didn’t know what he would think about it.  It didn’t occur to me to ask him to join my list, as I have with another one of the people I know.  We got to the truck yard.

The guys weren’t there yet, and we pulled up on the owner who was about to open up the gate.  I thought I was meeting with the guy I’m used to dealing with, but this was the owner of the yard.  He said we could “absolutely” park our car in the yard while we figured this whole thing out.  I didn’t know if we could take the truck until the guys showed up at 10am, which was about 10 minutes away.

Turns out the keys were in it, and the owner, seeing as the account was already settled, just let us take off.  I like dealing with the business owners, those are the people I like dealing with, not that I don’t like talking to receptionists. At any rate, I was back to the store in a half hour.

Originally I was under the assumption that someone would be going with me to help me move the 60 cases of water I was going to pick up.  When I finished picking the truck up and got back to the store they told me I was flying solo for this trip.

So off I went.  I went to the store, picked up the 60 cases of water, and drove to the 2 other stores and then back to my home store.  I dropped off 20 cases of water to each store.  I really didn’t even mind doing it on my own, it just takes a little longer.

And I’m in for the long haul, everyday.  That’s part of my philosophy.  In my sales capacity I want to build long term relationships, where they order every year.  This day though, was about driving, and then after I lifted 60 cases of water worked with the meat at the store doing sandwich portions.  It took from from about 10am to 2pm to deliver the water.  I got off around 4 so it really wasn’t too bad, I got in at 9.  I got some hours!  And that’s what I need to exist right now.

Really I could use a lot more, but my job is a blessing.  There’s a lot I can build on as evidence in this blog.  This was day 1.

Day 2 Speaking About Work

Friday is TryDay Friday at my work.  Recently they started doing free samples, a summer thing, every Friday.  For a while we were sampling ribs, but now we’ve moved on to our meats, cheeses, and cookies.  It’s my job on Friday to host the TryDay Friday.

It’s really pretty easy.  First thing I do some house maintenance, and help out my coworkers.  I chat with them.  I go to the bank for my boss.  I come back from the bank and start the session.

It’s 3 hours long and today it was eased by my blog, which I reread and thought about.  I reread Success Hourly and it made me think that I really need to wrap my head around not smoking.

That’s what writing does for you, it helps you get your life together.  At any rate, I did the TryDay Friday and talked to some nice people, and that’s my job.  I’m giving away free product, and people love that.  Sure, some won’t take it, but some take even more than they should.  It all evens out.  And they buy!

We sold a good amount of sandwiches considering it was raining heavily for some of the day.  Really it was a slow day.  That’s our summertime.  It’s time for sales work, and generating more business.  The store doesn’t do much. It’s the holidays that’s the reason my company is in business.  It’s 50 hour weeks, 7 days straight.  But it’s okay, because the rest of the year is easy, and it’s a fun job with good people.  Granted we don’t make much.

I’ve read that high paid salespeople and CEO’s can be the most miserable people.  It’s the poor who are just happy to be alive and take great joy in living.  I don’t believe it for a second.  I think that you simply have more choices when your rich.  Really compared to alot of the world, I have alot of choices, and I’m poor compared to a wealthy American.  I set aside the time I’m spending now to live that life.  Of making it.  Granted I have a lot of help.

I am impossible at staying focused at this point, but I was speaking about my Day 2 at work, and I did the TryDay Friday.  Afterwards it was just working with the team until there were only 2 of us, and we closed it down at 6.

I got there at 10, left at 6, did 8 hours.  And it was fun, it felt good, I like working with the people I’m working with, there’s growth opportunities, I get the best jobs which is driving and I love driving.  I can really zone out and getting paid to do it is great!  I also like working in the store as I did on this day, with coworkers, some of which I would also consider friends.

So I like producing an income, and working those hours, whether I’m selling or I’m working in the store, is giving me that income.  And I’m a schizophrenic.  I can tell you that talking to people helps to relieve the schizophrenia.  Instead of imagined voices I hear their REAL voices and it’s a relief that someone doesn’t know what’s going on inside of my head.

Ending Speaking About Work

 

The end is that there will be another post about work, because it’s never ending.  With continued work is continued opportunity to improve and become MORE of a success.  I hope my work inspires you to work yourself, and if you like it and would like my free ebook “Schizophrenic Sales Success”  get on my email list, and you’ll get the book and updates to this blog.  This is a win win.

To Your Success,

Jesse Creel

Schizophrenic Sells Deal Number 10

Success

This picture is my personal approval of journaling and writing to grow your life.

The point of this post though is to inform you that I’ve made another sale.

This brings my count to 10 that I know of.  It’s possible there have been sales even though they didn’t say my name when they ordered.  In some ways it’s difficult to track what’s your sale.

But I’ve been keeping a count of my sales, and so far it looks like after I found out from one of the managers I had made another sale, I’m up to 10 now.  She said that they called and wanted to place a $200 order, but in working with the customer, the manager said she was a little crazy.

The manager said that she clearly took the order for a veggie tray, and the woman said she thought she had ordered a fruit tray.  The manager said the customer was just a little off. I figure the quality of the customer will increase over time, as I get better.

So it’s a celebration.  I’m having green tea and writing this blog post.

Really I can’t tell you what it’s like to be on the phone with a customer actually taking the order, the people at the stores do that.  I just send them to the store and they are served by the associate.  I can tell you what it’s like to do the work.

I was out today for instance.  Selling.  One of them told me no, they didn’t want the food, and on the way out there were wasps blocking me.  I had to proceed slowly with caution.

There were also dragonflies.

I just walk in and offer them lunch.  Two box lunches to be exact, one ham and one turkey.  Both made that morning.  On top of the sandwich they get a side, a drink, a cookie, and a pickle.  They get two of those, and a fold with some ordering forms, lunch specials, and coupons if they want to come into the store.

I park at a large office building or business park.  Today it was a business park.  I took 4 bags and 4 folders and started walking.  I went into the first place.

They wanted the lunches.  They were nice.  I went to the next place, they didn’t eat meat.  Then I gave away the 2nd.  And so on.

A couple people told me they didn’t want it, but for the most part everyone accepted and was friendly and happy to see me.

One particular place, a skin therapy place, the people were very friendly and happy to see me.  They were both women, and we got along great.

On top of getting delivery orders I’m also getting foot traffic.

Just today, I did a followup to a real estate agent, and he said he was going to come in for lunch today.  It just so happened I was in the store he was in, and I got to thank him on his way out.  It was great.

I did hear something like his voice after I was off.  I was outside.  I couldn’t make out what he was saying but his message seemed like it was saying I was good.

I love it when the schizophrenia makes me feel good.  Like I’m good.  Schizophrenia can really be a blessing.

And you can stay thankful for your blessings everyday when the voices start telling you you are going to die.  Thankful for another day you can live life. Another day you can raise your family, you can work your job, you can work on your goals, you can try and get a little better, another day.

What I’ve learned is that we are all going to die.  You can be certain that you only have so much time left.  That being said, with respect to that, it makes you want to live more fully today.  It’s a special trick you can learn from schizophrenia, a deep gratitude for life. You’ll need that gratitude when your selling.

For me it comes easy because I’ve landed a job that pays me whether I sell or not.  I do sell, and I will probably be getting bonuses, but right now it’s my hourly.  Not everything I do is sales activity, I do work in the store helping the customers or doing prep work.  I enjoy working with the food in the store, and I enjoy doing the sales work.  I enjoy getting results.  Sales.  More sales.  Many sales.

That’s where I’m going, many sales.  Who knows, I might even be able to drastically increase my income in my current job.  I’d like a 6 figure a year job, but considering my inability to work for several years, I think staying where I am is a good move.

They like me where I work.  They’ve promoted me.  I do things no other associate in our 3 store company does.  My advice to you if you hear voices, is get a job with people you can work with.  People who will love working with you, and that you can love working with.  I know it’s possible, because I’ve found such a place.

Even if you don’t make that much money, you hear voices and you can do your job.  You bring home SOME bacon.  Being a productive member of society is much better than just staying at home only working on your dreams.  It’s much better to work and then have your side hustle, that is IF you CAN work.

So my message to you, if or if you don’t hear voices everyday, is to work.  If you want your line of work to be in sales, then sell.  It’s hard for normal people to sell, your going to have to work extra hard and extra smart just to do the same job a normal person would do, but you can do it!  Just find that right place for you, and work your tail off.

Also if you want to get a free ebook on how to sell when you hear voices you can get it on the home page.  www.jessecreel.com

Thanks for reading, here’s to your success,

Jesse Creel

The Silence In Between The Voices Is Enlightenment

Hello,

My name is Jesse Creel.  I heard in a podcast that you should write as if someone has never read any of your other work.  So I’m writing this to you to tell you I’m a schizophrenic, and I was diagnosed at Christmas 2014.   I had done all kinds of sales jobs after the voices first started to mess with my day, and I lost control and asked some guy to fight at my work, because I thought they were all disrespecting me. That’s when the music really started to turn against me.  That’s went all the drinking and smoking and living my life out of balance really kicked me in the ass.

I had the best job I have ever had in my life, or maybe the second best considering where I now am, but it was a good job that paid me a good living.  And I was making guitars!  I was contributing to rock and roll!  Really what got me was my lack of interpersonal effectiveness.  I had a primo job, and I asked to be moved to a different, less prestigious department.  It was all because of the group of people I was working with, and it made me want to leave.  I was delusional, and the schizophrenia-which I didn’t know I had at the time, I thought I was psychic- was feeding into the delusions.  The delusion was they didn’t want me there.  The music was confirming my feelings.

I remember the stark contrast between the voices and reality when I heard a song, right after I had asked to be moved- that said “Your making my dreams come true”.  When I overheard my boss tell one of my coworkers I was moving I heard his reply that that was not the best idea.  Hindsight tells me my coworker was right.

I should have stayed where I was, and tried better to live with my coworkers, one in particular.  Gotten along with the grab-assing, and did my job, and eventually manage them all.  That’s not the way history played out though.

In the end, I enjoy the work I do more than I ever did making guitars.  I get paid less than what I made at the guitar factory, but I get more time off.  Really, if you take what I make by the hour now, I’m making more than what I made at the guitar factory.  What it comes down to now, is just making more deals.

Because the schizophrenia, to you schizophrenics out there wondering, is not what is actually going to happen.  The voices have a lot to say.  That doesn’t mean you should believe what they are saying.

Here’s another tip.  If you’re thinking of something you want to do, and you know that you’re going to be unhappy until you get it, and your choosing carefully what you want to be unhappy about until you get it, then it won’t matter if the voices tell you no.  You’ll be able to accept rejection and move on to the sale.  If you can get shaky like me, don’t worry, the shakes will pass.  You are unstoppable, and if you take that attitude, and do the work, shakes or not, you will be happy you did it.  Especially when you’re getting results.

So it doesn’t matter what the voices say.  Take the good with the bad.  And you don’t have to take the bad, and believe in some f*cked up future outcome if that’s not what you want.  You can offer them tea in your mind, and let them know “I hear you”.  Acknowledge them, and they may even leave after a while.

This, my friends, leads me to the point of this article.  Short and sweet, but it’s here for your pleasure.  And that is, enlightenment, for a schizophrenic, is the sound between the voices, when there is no sound.  Things are clear, you know what you have to do.  I read it in a book that that’s the way it is for meditation.  When your own thoughts stop and there is just silence.  For schizophrenics, even if your mild like me, when the voices stop, and your not thinking anymore, that’s when the enlightenment comes.  At least that’s what it feels like to me.

For me what I have to do is sell.  I have a sales job.  I am a schizophrenic, my bosses know I’m a schizophrenic, and they knew I wanted to sell, and they made me a salesman.  I have a great company behind me, and it’s really easy to sell.  I don’t even have any quotas!  I just sell what I sell and they pay me by the hour.

So far I have 9 sales that I know of, and most likely more I don’t know of.  My plan is to stick it out through Christmas and see if I can land a Christmas deal.  My company has a gifting program, where companies can buy gift cards, hams, or turkeys for their employee’s for that special time of the year.  I’m collecting the leads for gifting now, in the summertime, so when September comes around I’ll have some places I can go to.

I would like to land a 6 figure a year sales job, and I don’t think that it’s unrealistic to think I could do that.  Sure it would be 5 times what I’m making now, sure it would be more pressure, and sure the voices would probably get worse at times… but my job now is giving me a great deal of confidence that I CAN sell.

Then again, you never know.

My quit date is tomorrow, July 15, 2017.  I’m going to save a lot of money, and more importantly my health.  There won’t be this unnecessary suffering.  I’ll be tobacco free.  If I just quit cigarettes I’ll save $200 dollars a month, and I won’t need to get a better job to pay my bills.  I won’t need money for anything but wine.  And of course food, to pay my credit card bill, to save, and to give my wife some money.  And maybe take the kids out to the carnival.

We all need money.  And I’m making it.  And I’m a schizophrenic.  A mild schizophrenic, but a schizophrenic non the less.  On top of that I’m selling and getting results!  It doesn’t matter what the voices say!  You can have success, you just have to do the work!  So do the work!

I really appreciate you reading.

Here’s to your success,

Jesse Creel

Jesse Creel Makes Sale Number 9 On His Path To $100K A Year

Hell Yes!  I made another sale.

I wouldn’t have even known I made it if I weren’t for the fact that I was the delivery person today.  I asked to leave early and had 45 minutes until I was going to leave, after doing my sales work and followups for the day, and there was a delivery that needed to be done.

So they sent me out to do it.  And upon arriving, I recognized the place as a place where I had dropped off a couple box lunches about a month ago, and cookies last week.  We really do our best to make sure that our prospects know about us, and we give them a little free product to wet their whistles.  That was the case with this sale.

I went in to do the delivery and there were two people in there.  One of them had me place the bag on a table and signed the credit card receipt.  On the way out I told the other one that we really appreciated their business and we are happy to serve them.  I also told them that I hoped they would really enjoy the food.

In my head, on the way back to the store, I saw myself spitting on a sandwich.  I’m a mild schizophrenic, so I’m always seeing and hearing things in my head, some of which I don’t want- like the spitting, and some of which I do want- like I love this.  In my head my own vision of me encouraged me to hock a loogie onto the sandwich, to really get some mucus on it.  I found myself actually wanting to clear my throat of mucus.  I have to fight not to have those visions, but they come consistently and it takes work.  I DO NOT spit on the sandwiches, and I think it’s disgusting to even imagine it.  So it’s constant work, but it’s the work I want to do.  It takes work to fight off negative visualizations and come to a place that’s peaceful and harmonious.  That’s part of the job for this schizophrenic.

Working for my company that I work for now is a great experience.  They have taken me from a broke deadbeat to someone who can contribute a little to my family and to the world.  Just yesterday I gave a homeless person a five dollar bill.  I like to do that, it makes me feel like I’m giving back.  And it’s easy to do, because there are a lot of homeless people begging for money, but it’s more than just to give, although that’s one of the main reasons.  Another big reason is that it’s helping to teach me how to sell again, something I’ve tried doing for years, without any consistent success. Now with my current job, I make money whether I sell or not, which is a blessing because at first I didn’t know if I had it in me to sell or not.  I had failed so much that all I wanted to do was work hourly.  As the universe would have it, an taking an hourly job was not the end of my sales career.

I recently saw an ad on Craigslist, for a sales job, selling solar panels, that claimed to pay $100-150K a year.  With that kind of money I could do a tremendous amount of giving, especially to my family.  I do after all have a wife and two kids.  Right now I’m paying some money to help support them, but I’m not even coming close to what it takes to support a household.  The only reason we are afloat is because of my wife’s work. That doesn’t feel good to me.  I, even though I am a mild schizophrenic, want to be the breadwinner.  Even if my wife were to keep her job, I should be able, and want to be able, to put my family into a bigger house, where both kids would have their own rooms.  Right now we live in a 2 bedroom townhouse, and don’t get me wrong, we’re blessed to have a roof over our head, but if I keep working on this sales thing, we could have a better roof over our head.

The way I figure it is, each sale is a sale closer to a job that pays me 6 figures a year.  Right now I make a 5th of that, if that, working the hours I work.  But I am learning, and I am growing.  My job is giving me the confidence I need that I CAN sell a great product.  I’m going to give it some time, and let the sales come in, and keep track the best I can-which is difficult because when the prospect becomes a customer, they don’t always tell the store that I was the one who peaked their interest.  Nevertheless I’m keeping track the best I can, and so far I’ve sold 9, with the prospect of getting 10 in a few weeks.  Right now my goal is to earn 2 sales each time I go out with 8-10 stops.  I think that’s a good goal, realistic, and will put me in a position of confidence with my sales job.

So, in short, I’m working on it.  I know at the perfect time, with the due amount of work, my dreams will come true.  My goals will manifest, I will be the success that I deserve to be, schizophrenia or not.  My hope for you is that no matter what you’re going through you can gain some insight from my story and maybe find the inspiration you need to continue working in sales, no matter what your body, your mind, or the world is telling you.  I had to suck it up and get an hourly job after failing for 5 years in sales, and I would give you the same advice, if sales doesn’t work for you, then get an hourly job.  You never know where it might take you, it might take you to where you wanted to be in the first place!

Thanks for reading, love you for that… make sure you subscribe to my list if you want to get updates to this blog.

Take care!

Here’s to your success!

Jesse Creel

A Story About The Benefit Of An Act Of Kindness

So I worked in the store today.  I had to be there at 7:30am which is an hour and a half earlier than usual.  I had to take a breakfast delivery into the city.  I did the delivery and then I came back to the store.  It took me about an hour and a half.

When I got back one of the women I work with, who tells everyone she is my girlfriend, asked me to pick up her some Dirty potato chips from the other store I was going to be working at for the rest of the day.  I had to pick up some tape for the pricing guns and bring it back to my home store so I would be coming back anyways.  So my coworker asked me to bring her the chips back with the tape when I returned.

I worked the rest of the day at the other store and then left.  I realized I had forgot to get her the bag of chips and I took a second to debate on whether I should turn around now that I was already on the road.  I could have told my coworker that I had forgotten about the chips and left it at that, but I decided to be kind and do her the favor she had asked me to do so I turned around and went back to the store.

They gave me an 80% discount so the chips only cost me about 30 cents.  I bought them and on the way out they came after me calling my name.  They said there was a delivery that needed to be done that they had forgotten about until just now.  As it turns out this was a special kind of delivery which pays $30 cash when you do it.  So as a result of me turning around to do a friend a favor, I ended up being rewarded by the universe by receiving more money.  I didn’t do it for more money, I did it to be kind to a coworker.  It just so happens that my kindness opened me up to receiving more money.  Go figure!

That’s just a short story that I wanted to share with you about how kindness can pay.  I hope you enjoyed it.  If you would subscribe to my list I will send you updates to this blog.  Make sure you subscribe!

Thanks for reading and have a blessed day!

Jesse Creel

Working For Almost 12 Hours And Then Playing For The Jackpot

I spent 5 dollars.

One on a 43 million dollar jackpot, and 4 on a 228 million dollar jackpot.

I hope I win.

But I also delivered over 6,000 box lunches to the race track over the last two days.  That was an accomplishment.

And I got to work with my brother.  We delivered together.

It was nice of them to put us two together for the delivery.

But we did it.

For about 5 hours I spent my time putting the box lunches into bags, marking the bags, and stacking them up.

Then putting them onto the truck, which was running to keep the cooling on.  It ran for hours.

And the team I was working on was kicking ass.  We were doing double what the other team was doing, and they really had me working.

When I walked in this morning I was told my team was going to be the best because I was on it.  I said they were too nice.  I’m just a regular guy.  That’s what I told them.

On the first trip, yesterday to deliver 100 bags or so, the GPS took us through the city, when we could have just gone around the beltway.  But I didn’t know how to get there so I was at the mercy of the GPS.  My brother was with me, and he sort of lost his mind over the traffic on the way back yesterday.

So today we got the directions from the president of the company and it took us right there.  It was a lot easier.

Today when we were there I was noticing a particularly attractive woman, who was wearing high heeled shoes and a tight dress and she had some very attractive legs.

There was another woman after I had my look who was standing in front of her, and then another woman came out of nowhere and starting walking right up to the truck to where I was sitting.

She looked at me and I looked at her and she kind of mimicked my gesture to her and then she looked at me again and grabbed her crotch.  Like I was a rockstar and I was being given attention by whores.

I did have two rockstar energy drinks today, one on the way to the first delivery.

I drove there twice today.

And I drove a larger box truck then I was used to driving.

8 feet longer.

And 18 footer.

And I don’t know how we would have delivered all 6,000 box lunches in our little 10 foot truck.  We would have had to made 3 trips.

But we had an 18 footer, so we only had to make 2 trips and there was plenty of room.

When I delivered the first delivery though there was 366 bags.  It took up almost all of the 18 feet.  It was by far the biggest of the sections we had to do.

If you figure there are 9 box lunches in each bag, that’s a lot of box lunches.

And I, my brother, and one other guy got them all there.  It was just me and my brother on that last trip.  It was nice because he didn’t complain much.

But all in all it was a good thing.

I got plenty of hours this week, and that’s a good thing for me and my family.

And I want to do more for them, as much as I can do, to help support them.

That’s why I write this blog.  For them.  So that I can be a better father by earning income from my writing.

It is much harder than it seems though.

At least that’s the way it’s been for me.

I feel like some of the commentors on this site are yanking my chain.  Telling me it’s good and not being genuine.  I would rather they come right out and say they don’t like me.  Instead of being nice and leaving trash in their comments.

I still have no subscribers to my list, so that’s a failure.  An ongoing one.  But I really need to spend some sober time editing my ebook so I can give that away as a freebie.  Something to get people to put their email address in.

Because I would love to start a business online and sell products to people.  I just need readers, and that comes with writing.

So I gotta write.  And write I will.  Write until the cows come home.

And that’s what I say we all could do.  Write.  Write like our lives depended on it.  Write and put blood, sweat, and tears into it.  I say that’s the way we get it done.

And we may never make any money at all off of our work.  But 10 years down the line that won’t matter, because we will have grown.  We will have accomplished something.

We’ll probably end up giving up the cigarettes.  So we can be wealthy.

Or we’ll just keep smoking and smoke our money.  We might have so much of it that it won’t matter, and we’ll still be able to leave our children money when we die.

That’s what I’m going for…. health, wealth, and wisdom.

And I figure you can have all three and still drink and smoke.

Probably would be better if you didn’t, but you want to enjoy yourself, so here’s to you.

But after working 12 hours, and driving a big box truck all day I was tired.

So tired I passed out.  I couldn’t drink anymore.  It was making me feel sick.

Tonight my wife and I are going out to eat.  I’m really looking forward to it as we haven’t been out in a while.  I’m going to eat a lot and drink a little.  I’m really looking forward to it.

But I’ve got to get my stuff together.  And I don’t curse on purpose, because I want everyone to be comfortable.  But I really do.

I’ve got to stop spending all my money on cigarettes and alcohol, and then buying groceries and gas on my credit card.  I’ve paid it off a thousand dollars, but now I’m spending on it again, and I’m really losing control.

Internet, if I can ever get my habits under control, and not buy alcohol and cigarettes when I don’t have the money, I’ll be in a lot better place.

And I think that’s what my writing is leading me to.  That’s where it’s leading us to.  Sober, non smoker, exerciser.

But really that would be no fun, and I’m really at my best when I’m smoking and drinking.

So it’s going to be hard to stop.

I’ve been trying since the beginning of this year.  We’re almost 6 months into it and I’m still smoking.

But back to the work.

The work of writing.

And work it is.

I go for 2,000 words each post.  I don’t always get there but often times I do.

I’ve still got a ways to go before I reach that word count, but I’ve already told you about my day.

So what do I blog about next?

How do I make this blog post worth it for you?

I could tell you I’m going to win 228 million dollars tonight, and become a multimillionaire overnight.

But what good would that do you?

I’m looking for the real value here.

What can I give to you?

I can give you my love.

And I do.

I can tell you that woman grabbing her crotch while I was looking at the pretty girl was an encounter.

She wasn’t bad looking either.  Not exceptionally pretty, but good looking.

The one woman though, she had legs forever.  A real nice looking body.  I like being around those kinds of people.  They get my motor going.

I guess you could say that I’m one of those attractive people.  Although my addictions are pretty ugly, I’m not bad looking on the outside.  Older women are always telling me how beautiful my eyes are.

Not to brag, but the ladies are attracted to me in a bad kinda way.  They like me smoking and drinking.  And I like them smoking and drinking.  Not that I would ever do anything about it, I’m married.  But I like seeing them.  I like talking to them.  I like being around them.  Especially when I’m working.

Although really when I was working there was an attractive manager that kept telling me how good I was and because I didn’t turn on my member and get it going with her there seemed to be a disconnect working with her.

I’m married and I don’t play games.  I don’t have the energy.  I just do my job, that’s what I need to do.  And I write this blog.  I almost do want to write dirty things.

Like what I want to do to my wife tonight while our daughter is out sleeping over my parents house.

But I try to be a gentleman so really I can’t go into that.

What I can tell you is that I sometimes try not to even look at other woman.  Don’t want to get the thoughts about doing them in my head.  But that makes it so when I do look, I look to much or I’m too much of a creep and I weird people out.  I should probably just look more.

I don’t think it makes you a bad person if you look at other women when your married to a perfectly good woman already.  Your only looking.  I like it.

I don’t want to like it too much though.  I don’t want to get started doing things I shouldn’t be doing.  Maybe if I ever made a million dollars off this blog it would be easier to have a girlfriend, but that doesn’t mean I WOULD have one.

What I would do if I had a million dollars is travel all the time.  And write about my experiences on this website.  That would be the life.

I want to do it.  Let me know how I can better serve you in the comments.  Or sign up for my list.  I’ll send you primo content.  Right to your inbox.

This is the way it is done.  You write your content until it’s done.  You write until you meet your quota.  Do this thing.  Do this thing now.  You can do it.  Write your blog post.

I worked for 12 hours, and I’m a schizophrenic.  That’s an accomplishment.  Even if I’m only getting paid $20,000 a year.  I definitely want to find out how I can make more money, but I think it all starts with me doing what I’m doing now.  Which is writing.

I do rely quite a bit on intuition so it may piss you off I do have any evidence for what I “think”.  That’s okay with me.  I’m still going to go with my gut.  I’m going to make the right call for myself and for my family.  I’m going to do the thing and have the power.

That’s all I can do, or anyone can do.  You have to write from the heart.  What comes to you.  This is the way it is done.  I can say because I write all the time.  I know how to write.  And it can be done by anyone who can write.  And that would be a lot of people.

But working at my job for 12 hours at 12 dollars an hour is a good day for me.  I used to try to sell and I sucked at being a business man so I had to take a low paying hourly job just to create an income.  It sucks, but it’s also a blessing because so far I haven’t found any other job I can DO.

And I want to do a job.  I want to work hourly.  It’s good for me.  I like it. I want to do more.  I have the weekend off and then I’m back to work.  But I’ve really got to get something going on this website because I’m going back to 30 hours a week and I’m going to have plenty of time to work on my business.

So here’s to working when your off, so that you have the chance to enjoy the benefits of your work later.  There’s always the possibility.

Thanks for reading,

Jesse Creel

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