I want to win the Mega Millions or the Powerball.  I think that I’m going to.  But the Tao instructs us to let go of the desire and then one can see clearly.  But I still want it.  I want the millions of dollars it will bring.  And I think that you can have it too.  Do you play the lottery?  Do you want to win?

All the books I’ve read on the subject come down to one thing Jesus said.  Believe you have already received what you ask for in prayer, and ye shall have it.  So our job is to believe we have already received the jackpot win we desire.  It is our birthright and some of us will get it.  Some of us will receive the jackpot.  Make up your mind to be one of them and see what God gives you.

I would walk around my neighborhood, about 2 and a half miles, and repeat to myself over and over again “I believe I have already received the jackpot”.  Interesting things happened to me.  The voices I hear started to respond to my affirmation.  They told me I was a winner.  They told me this was for real.  They told me that it was my time.

Well, I haven’t won yet, but as they say, God’s delays are not God’s denials.  I am a winner and my job now is to go out there and win.

I think the Tao would instruct me to play without playing, win without trying, and to desire without desire.

The question before us is how do we win the lottery jackpot?

The answer is to believe we have already received the jackpot.  And how do we do that?  Pray.

Visualize.

I am now visualizing a check for 394 million dollars being given to me by a nice person at the Maryland Lottery office in Baltimore. I’m visualizing accepting the check as anonymous.  I’m bringing it home with me and setting it upstairs in the dinning room against the wall where I can see it when I’m sitting on the couch.  I’m going to be able to live the rest of my life off that money and I’m blessed.  I thank God and the Universe for bringing it to me.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

I am visualizing that my numbers, 3,19,8,20,7 and 10 are the winners for the jackpot worth 394 million.  That’s my plan.  To play on that jackpot, those numbers and see if I win.  That may be unlikely but I trust God to deliver to me the means to move my family into the bigger house that they deserve.  And to get my wife a new wedding ring, and to take a nice vacation with both sides of my family, and to pay off my credit card, and to pay off the mortgage on the house I live in now.  And to buy a new car.  And to give to the church and to charity.  I have many plans for the money but they are simple ones.  Eat, drink and be merry.  Work on creating art.  Establish relationships with people that are mutually beneficial. Have more sex with my wife.  (I have to get fixed so we don’t have any more kids… two is enough)

But it will be beautiful if I ever get into the position where I can write on this blog from the beaches of the world.  Having nice frozen rum drinks and sit on the beach and type about my day.  Create art.  And I’ll probably get some recordings back on this site because really I won’t give a shit about my image in front of business owners because it won’t matter if I make any sales or not. The sales I do make I’m sure would stick.  They would know and like me.  And want to do business with me because I make great art.  I’m going to keep on doing stuff until my time on this earth is up.  And I plan on being here a while so I’m going to have plenty of time on my hands to work.

And work I will.  On this blog, on my music, on my job, on my sales, on my life through reading and exercise, and with my family.  I will work on winning the jackpot for my daughter so we can move into that house we need.  I will do whatever it takes for my family to live their dream life.  Retired and enjoying life.

So what’s my dream life?  To win the lottery, buy a house, take a vacation, play blues guitar in a dedicated garage or shed, write on my blog, raise my family, and enjoy life.  Makes sales and work my job… and grow in all things that I do.  I have to quit smoking so I have more money until I hit the lottery… but I will be able to buy as much alcohol and as many cigarettes as I want after I hit the lottery.  I’d say the secret to long life is to love yourself.

But I haven’t lived long yet so I guess I don’t have room to talk, yet.

But I started this post with the Art of letting go and I still haven’t let go of the desire to possess the winning ticket, the giant check and a massive bank account.  I still desire those things, and I want them like a drowning man wants air.  I guess the art of letting go just isn’t for me.  Or maybe it is.  I suppose only time will tell.  Time will tell if I win the jackpot or not.  So far it doesn’t look good but God may surprise me and deliver the win any day now.  I trust in God and I know my every need and desire will be fulfilled.  Except for the desire to have sex with women other than my wife.  I just have to deal with that one.  For my wife, and because she deserves someone that will be faithful to her.

So I want to win the jackpot and I want to make as many sales as humanly possible in both Honeybaked and Flashbanc.  But that is not the point of our business relationship.  The point of our business relationship is to add value to your life by saving you money on your credit card processing.  Or by providing you with the best ham and turkey in the world.

So now my kids are sleeping.  It’s 8pm on this Monday and I have two hours before bed.  I already have done my reading for the day so I’m good there.  Really the only thing left for me to do is write.  So write I will, and leave words behind me.  A legacy.  I love my family.  Those are my words.

I’m looking forward to my next payday which will come in less than two weeks.  Before you know it, it will be Thanksgiving and I’ll have all the hours I can handle.  Then Christmas.  My check for Thanksgiving will probably go to Christmas gifts.  It should be a good Christmas.  I got a raise!  That should go into effect on this next check.  If it doesn’t I’ll be disappointed.  But I’m sure it will.  And everything will be fine as long as I stop smoking.  Which is going to be hard.  I have to stop after this pack of cigarettes, unless I start having a good two weeks with the cash I get from Honeybaked for driving deliveries.

Because I can still smoke if I have the money for it.  I just have to learn not to smoke when I don’t have the money to.  No more cigarettes on a credit card.  That is my vow.  No more wine on a credit card.  That is my vow.  I’ll have all the time I need to create my art..  To write on this blog.  To make music.  To sell.  I won’t be drinking or smoking and I’ll need something to do.  And no more weed on a credit card.

I’ll be clean and sober and nothing to get in trouble for.  No trouble with the law and no trouble with the wife.  Doing what I’m supposed to be doing, which is working.  Working at my job, working when I get home on the housework, working on my blog and my sales career.  Working on winning the lottery.  Working on raising my family and being a good role model.  And I can do all of these things and do them well.  I just know that I can do them well.  I’m looking forward to getting up for work tomorrow.  I probably won’t feel like doing it in the moment but I want to do it now and get to work and make some money.  Work for my family.

I paid my wife 100 dollars out of my savings account because I thought she deserved some money.  I haven’t been giving to her as much as I should.  She pays all the bills, the mortgage, the electricity, the insurance, the phones, etc…  She buys the food and the clothes for the kids.  We get alot of help from our parents with the kids but my wife does most of the supporting in our household.  She really does a great job.  The lights are always on and we always have something to eat.  I love her and she has really earned my respect.  She is the boss and what she tells me to do I do.  She doesn’t ask that much either.  She can be course at times, but mostly it’s because I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing, like housework.  When the house is a mess she usually is irritated.  But I love her, even when she is mad at me.

And I want to retire her.  I want to be the one that allows her to stay home with the kids and raise our family.  I’ll be there too to help her, but I want her home… or able to be at home so she can be there for our kids.  That’s where winning the lottery comes into play.  I’m not sure how I could retire her even if I did become successful selling.  I would have to sell alot of ham and turkey to retire her…  I just don’t see it happening that way.  And I don’t see it happening with my music or I wouldn’t have taken all my recordings down.  And I don’t see it happening with my writing because the book I’m working on now is too personal to be published.  So it’s not music, it’s not sales, it’s not writing…. it’s the lottery!  That’s our ticket to success.  Otherwise I’m a starving salesperson and a low wage part time worker.  And I don’t want to be that anymore.  I’ll still work part time, that I can do.  But I’ll be rich.  I’ll be wealthy while doing it.  It will make it that much easier.  And I’ll still be bringing in some money.  And think what kind of car I will be driving to do the deliveries in.

I’ll probably choose something economical and not flashy for the deliveries. I might even just keep the Nissian I’m driving now and just get it tuned up.  And cleaned out.  Right now there’s a bunch of trash on the floor.  I really need to clean that thing.

But anyways, I go in tomorrow at 10am.  I work until 4.  I have my psychiatrist right after work.  It’s usually a short meeting.  She just gives me my refills and sends me on my way.  I have to schedule a meeting with my therapist when I go tomorrow.  I forgot to show up for my last appointment.  I got too busy with my family and forgot.  We went to the mall instead.  It was probably the best excuse for missing therapy that I can think of.  Spending time at the play place at the mall with the kids.  It was very busy there when we went last Saturday.  A good time.

But to wrap it up, I think I may let go of the dream of winning the lottery but I don’t think I will ever give up.  I think there is a difference there.  Letting go may bring me closer into alignment with bringing it into my reality.  But the envelope is still there, on the cupboard in my pineapple with my spare change.  The numbers 397 are still written on it.  I still have the plan to win the jackpot.  I’m still expecting to win the jackpot.  I still believe I have already received the jackpot.  I still believe I am a winner.  I still believe that God will deliver my every desire, including phenomenal sex with my wife, something that I haven’t been getting much of as of late.  All that can change with just the printout of a ticket.  A printout of the winner, and let it be the winner even before the balls drop.  And it is.  It is a winner even before the ball drops.  I know this because I am me and this is what I have created.  Mindblowing and this will get me all the attention I need to sell anything I want.  Or just give it away just to start a conversation.  And a conversation that will add value to people’s lives.  I say stick in there, keep going, and make yourself better along the way.  God will take care of you.  That’s a fact.