Because that’s what I’m doing right now.

Right now I’m waiting.

Waiting for my 2 friends that would read it, to read it, and then tell me what they thought of it.

For one of them I even printed it out so he could take notes on it like we had talked about in our text message.

I don’t name names.  But I will in the Thank You part of my ebook.  To my two friends for reading it.

Then again it could be that they tell me they don’t like it and I shouldn’t put it up for sale.

I put 40 hours into the ebook.  That’s a workweek.  And if I’m good that could pay me.  And I REALLY want to see how good I am.

And I want to get better with each day.  I want to improve.  And I want other people to improve also.  And I love it when I get on with people that are moving in the same direction as me, doing the same stuff, and their growing too!  It’s amazing.  I love it when people are improving.

And when the bad voices come I just have to find an empowering meaning for things.

I was finishing the pack of cigarettes and I kept hearing this noise, like an animal was moving around in the gutters of the house and when I looked up it didn’t look like it was possible for an animal to be messing around in the gutters.  The sound didn’t even sound like it could have come from the areas where the gutters were.  It was bizarre.  The voices said it was the devil and the jist of it is here’s because I’m smoking.

I finished the pack.

I don’t want to buy anymore, and I have off tonight, and the next two days, so I’m going to try and get a head start before I have to go back to work on the quitting the cigarettes thing.

Then again, part of me wants to buy a pack right now. And in the past I’ve written about quitting and then bought a pack right after I finished writing.  I guess you could say I have a problem.  And it’s a legal problem.

The government allows people to drink and smoke.

I don’t recommend it though.

Sure a glass a day of the red is good for you.

But really past that is excess and your kicking your own ass.

The voices for me tell me a lot to get drunk.

I mean that’s really what I’m in the process of doing anyways.  They just want to see me continue on doing what I’m doing.  Drinking.

Not that it can’t be good for you.

But really I just need to stop it and clean up and get my act together, and pay off my credit card, and be sober and deal with the suffering of that.  And be a good person who loves God.

I guess that would really be my dream life until my ebook sales took off and I started to have more money.

Because you know if I’m rich I’ll be drinking.  I’ll have plenty of money to have a bar in my house.  People could come over and drink.  Not too much though.  I don’t want to be providing all the good times for everyone.  Really I’ll buy the bar so my family and couple friends I still have left could come over and have a drink.  Maybe one time I may pick up a homeless person and bring them over my house to eat.

On second thought, I’d probably save them the suffering and just give them a hundred dollars.  That’s a dream of mine.  Having a 100 dollars, or even just 20 dollars to give to a homeless person, or someone in need.

I bet if I stop drinking all that wine and smoking all them cigarettes I would have it when other people needed it.

And first and foremost my wife.  Because she’s taking a paycut for the summer and is going to be short on money.  This is not good.  I’m going to have to come up with extra money.  My family needs me.

And I will come up with it, and maybe some of it will come from the e book sales.  I’m only days away from getting it up f0r sale.  But the best chance of me coming up with extra money right now is to quit the cigarettes and the wine.  That would save me hundreds of dollars a month.  Money my wife will need just to pay the bills.

So I will be sure to keep you up to date on this blog as to how it goes.  I’m going to be writing everyday for a while so it’s going to come out.  That’s one of the bad and good things about writing for 90 days.  You go deep.  It can be uncomfortable.  But you grow tremendously if you keep going.

And I know that if we aim to improve we are going to get better.  So there’s no need to worry or fear.  Most of our worries won’t come true anyways.  So what’s the sense in worrying about anything!

What’s the million dollar value for you here?

It’s that if you’ve been drinking and smoking for years, and for years you’ve had no success, take heart, if you keep trying you can find success!

I’m a prime example of that.

I tried for years to make it in a sales job, and it’s not until recently that it’s just started to work out.

Granted the voices tell me that I’m throwing it all away by smoking, I’m still having success.  And really i may never quit.

I may never experience the holy spirit as the thing that fills you up.   I’ll fill myself with wine and smoke, and write, and make a living at it.

Then again, I may be sober.  Only time will tell.  And Thank God your reading this blog, because you will get to know.

That’s all I can say at this point.  But I’ve got to say that I’m a writer.  Otherwise I couldn’t do this 1,000 words a day.  And i say the same could be for anyone.  And all you need to do is start a blog.  And people will read and comment on it.  It will be an experience for you.  A good one.  And it could pay if your good enough!

Because PEOPLE, the ebook is coming.  And it should be a success!  I put 40 hours of hard work into it, and I think that I’ll have to sell more than 2 copies to get 1 hour’s pay from my hourly job.  So if I worked 40 hours at my hourly job I would get paid 480 dollars before taxes.  We’ll just have to see how writing stacks up against my hourly job.

I KNOW it can do better.  I think profits are better than wages and that’s what you can get from an ebook, and THANK GOD for that.  Thank God we can free ourselves from our jobs, are at least TRY to.  I know this has to be of value to you because I’m really putting my passion into this.

And why is this valuable for you?

Why is this million dollar value?

Because I am like any other human being, and I too have a million dollar miracle inside of me.  I can make it happen in my life so my life and the lives of the people around me get better.  And I really believe that ANYONE could do the exact same thing.

So here’s to you, here’s to you really going out there and getting it.  Working harder on your life in your personal time than you do at your job.  And you work hard at your job.  But you work harder at your life, so you can sell ebooks and blog and making a living as an entrepreneur selling from anywhere in the world.

This is what I think it takes to get a business off the ground while your still working your hourly job.  Work harder on your launch than you do on your job.  And work hard on your job.

That’s all for now.  I really want to write longer posts for all of you, and I’m working on that.  Thanks for reading, may you live a blessed life.

Jesse Creel